Kurt..I hate to tell you...
Title: Kurt..I hate to tell you (1 of 1)
Author: hardy1234
Pairing: Blaine, Kurt and ND
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humor
Warnings:, None
Chapters: 1 of 1
Summary: Blaine's solo audition with New Directions.
Tags: blaine/kurt, media: fanfiction, rating: pg-13
“Kurt, I hate to tell you this,” but , um…I think your boyfriend is a bit of a tease…All during his solo he kept on staring at me and well, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. Dude, we both know that I'm nigh irresistible to most women, but even I didn’t realize that the other team is defenseless against me. It’s a blessing and a curse at the same time. Underage gals? check, rich cougars with pools to clean? check, gals with with husbands with prison records? check if the car’s engine is running..but I draw the line here. Nothing against Blaine, but you need to tell him to notch it down. “
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“Kurt, I understand how the mentoring of an older attractive authority figure, such as a Glee Choir director, for example, can turn a student’s head. I’ve gone through this before, so I ‘m telling you that hopefully it’s just a phase that Blaine, I mean, a theoretical student is going through. He will soon realize it’s not feasible, however flattering it could be for that theoretical authority figure to receive..um..such attention.”
I’m not actually surprised Kurt. Nor should you. I’m blonde and pretty. What else is there to say?
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“Sweetie, I realize that this is a whole lotta woman but I say friendship before all else. I would never risk anything with my Kurtsie , you mean too much to me. Listen, I’m willing to do some R & B duets with your hobbit boyfriend but that’s it. I may be the Beyonce in Llima, but he ain’t my JayZ, and that should be yours alone. I may have to slap him down if he doesn’t behave next time. You better keep a tighter leash on him, I’m just saying.”
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“I’m sorry Kurt, but the harsh truth is that Blaine may still be trying to convince himself he’s gay. All in vain. During his solo the connection between us was there. It was like the spin the bottle but sober,with no beer gogles on. Now I realize that he may be fighting his attraction to me, but it’s like Kismet. It may be too strong for both of us to resist. Think South Pacific, Think Brigadoon, think of all the doomed romances that were never meant to be but were magical. I’m thinking of all the duets we are fated to sing together. They eyes don’t lie, Kurt.”
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“Ok, I’m cool with Blaine. And yes, this Latina grill can entice anyone so to speak. But the looks he was throwing Brittany and me during his number, he was definitely trying to come between us. Now Brit may be a bit naive, but I can tell when someone is singing ménage-a-trois with their eyes. I might be willing, but I definitely don’t want any drama from you Kurt, unless you’re OK with us three going down….now if you want to join us..”
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“I’m going to kick your boyfriend’s ass, Kurt. He better thank his lucky stars I wasn’t at choir practice because Tina confessed to me how he was practically serenading her in front of the whole damn Glee club. Just because Tina is hot and he’s part Asian himself doesn’t mean he can horn in on her. There is room for only one Asian love couple in this club. And any rumors you hear that my girlfriend whispered his name while we were making out are total fabricated lies.“
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“Now, I realize that my impersonations can be pretty impressive, Kurt, but I honestly didn ‘t mean to hook your boyfriend with my charm. Didn’t realize the Sean Connery had such an effect. Whooaa gotta turn down the laser to just “stun”. But geez, during his number it was as if I was the Neyteri to his Jake, with the singing just Na’vi love songs for my ears alone. I’m cool with , you know, Blaine’s orientation, but I don’t horn in on another guy’s Planet Pandora so to speak.”
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“Well, Kurt? What do you think? Did my audition go over well?”
“Uh…Blaine, we need to talk.”
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