In a perfect world
Tags: author: hardy1234, blaine/kurt, media: fanfiction, rating: pg-13
"Ok, we've always been completely honest with each other..."
Now would be the time to lay it on the line with Blaine, let him know he had a crush on him. Yet Kurt couldn't pull the trigger, pride, fear of being humiliated or rejected, all of that held him back.
So he switched the focus of the conversation.
"You were never going to win Jeremiah with that song, Blaine."
"You don't think so?"
Kurt had to chuckle at Blaine's earnestness.
"You heard , he doesn't want anything to do with me", Blaine seemed crestfallen and crushed.
Kurt realized in a flash, Blaine doesn't like me. Not that way. Just because Kurt thought he was in love with him didn't mean that anything would happen, that his feelings would be reciprocated. Kurt's words to Mr. Schuester came back to haunt him regarding Blaine , "But he's gay so that's an improvement."
The truth was it wasn't an improvement, not really. Gay or straight, unrequited love was a bitch; heartbreak was heartbreak. Hadn't he learned from all the drama within the New Directions kids and their straight relationships? Rachel and Finn dynamics was emotional roadkill . Just wanting someone so badly wasn't enough if the other person didn't feel it. It hurt, but Kurt reasoned it would hurt worse to pine for something you can't have. This had happennd twice to Kurt now and he didn't really want to make it a pattern.
"Blaine, I think you can still woo Jeremiah, if that's what you really want."
"You really think so, Kurt?"
Kurt took a deep breath before speaking , There's no going back , you are probably helping Blaine get a boyfriend , "First of all, we need to speak to the GAP manager and explain things to him to get Jeremiah's job back ."
Kurt took another breath.
"Second of all, you are sending Jeremiah a note with flowers explaining that the age of consent in Ohio is 16 and you are inviting him to a coffee to apologize for your actions."
"What happens after that Kurt?" Blaine questioned.
"Well, that is entirely up to you."
*******************
It had been several weeks since Blaine and Jeremiah had become an item. There was a bounce in Blaine's step over getting his first boyfriend. His first date. His first holding hands.
His first kiss.
"Kurt, you realize I owe it all to you. I was ready to give up after the GAP attack fiasco."
It still hurt Kurt, but in a way the fact that Blaine was oblivious to Kurt's unrequited crush mollified him somewhat, at least he still had his pride. Small consolation, but it wasn't like a total humiliation.
The other Warblers weren't fooled as easily. Several had approached him privately to say they were sorry and thought that Blaine was going to serenade him, instead of Jeremiah. Kurt just shrugged and told them they were obviously mistaken.
Mercedes was the single person he ran to to confess how devastating the whole turn of events had been to him.
"It happens, Kurt" Mercedes sympathetically wrapped her arm around his shoulder " You love someone and they don't love you back."
"The part of hurting, how long does that last?"
Mercedes just smiled sadly, "as long as it has to."
However things did get better. Kurt gradually reconciled that he and Blaine were good friends, probably best friends, and how could Kurt complain about that?
Now that he could look at Blaine as a friend and not someone he had a romantic future with, he could relax a bit more in Blaine's prescense. Kurt didn't have to try to impress Blaine constantly, worry about getting 'sloppy' every time he was with him.
Snarky Kurt was back and with that some of his old confidence and snap.
******************
Rachel's party was a drunken mess. Jeremiah was working that night so Blaine had accompanied Kurt to spend time with the New Directions kids. Kurt was more than bemused by Blaine kissing Rachel and carrying on with her half the evening.
Obviously alcohol did things to Blaine. It made him forget he was gay, he had a boyfriend and made him make out with Rachel Berry; in some ways, it had been so hilarious.
In the light of the morning over a morning brew at the Lima Bean, Blaine's confession that there might be more wasn't as funny.
"Blaine, your gay. Geeze, you even have a boyfriend!."
"I dunno, kissing Rachel felt good. Well, maybe I'm bi."
Kurt couldn't' believe his ears.
"What are you going to tell Jeremiah now?"
Blaine bit his lip and looked up awkwardly at Kurt. "Well, I can't date Rachel and cheat on Jeremiah. So I think I have to break up with him first..."
"Wait, what? What does that mean. Don't you like him?"
"
I thought I did, but I'm not so sure. Something is off with Jeremiah. It doesn't feel right."
Kurt looked askance at Blaine. Was his friend really that confused about himself? Inside, Kurt was relieved he had sidestepped getting in the middle of Blaine's teenage sexual crisis imagining how bad he would feel if some guy dumped him for Rachel Berry. Rachel Berry!
Yet at the same time, Blaine didn't look particularly happy. He certainly didn't look like he was in the throes of romantic bliss. He simply looked a little lost .
"Whatever. I'm trying so hard not to judge. I guess you have to find yourself, so you might as well date Rachel. Just remember I warned you that this is going to be a disaster."
Blaine smiled warmly at Kurt, "Did I ever tell you what a good friend you are?"
Kurt grumbled, "Not often enough, mister!"
***************
The dating with Rachel had gone precisely as Kurt had predicted, with Blaine eventually having the epiphany he and Rachel were on opposite sides of the chorus line.
"I'm so embarrassed. Do you think I hurt Rachel badly? She seemed fine when I told her that I was now convinced I was gay."
"Cheer up, it only took you five dates as opposed to an engagement and perhaps a shot gun wedding."
"Kurt!"
"Blaine, Rachel will just put this down as an interesting anecdote in her life on the road to Broadway stardom. Trust me, she'll survive. Just don't be surprised if she mentions you in her autobiography as the first of many closet queens she dated."
Blaine moaned as he put his hands to his face. "I am so screwed up."
Kurt chuckled, " Nothing that a second medium drip won't help."
*******************************
Kurt was ready for the "Animals" performance .
So ready.
He realized that he had never really let loose in any performance with the Warblers. The songs they sang all he had to do was doo wap in the background for Blaine's solo. Here he had actual lines! The first in a Warbler number. Now was a chance to just let himself go. As to being 'sexy' well he was going to show everyone what they were missing with Kurt Hummel. Ok, so maybe he was a sexual penguin, but nobody had to know that now.
Blaine Anderson may not have found him attractive or sexy, but Kurt was convinced that somewhere, someone out there would eventually.
So Kurt simply channeled the mindset he had while singing "Four Minutes" as a Cheerio, or better yet, " Push it Baby" with the other New Direction kids at the McKinley rally. If anything he had learned in his old school how to sell a number.
The performance seemed to go well. Some of the Crawford girls had approached him afterwards to get his number, which was a first for Kurt. He was flattered even if he had to let them down. Of course Blaine had gotten his share of numbers , but at this point Kurt wasn't even annoyed by that. It hit him that it was precisely because he no longer harbored any romantic illusions about Blaine.
Afterwards as he was fixing his hair Blaine came up to him.
"Kurt..."
"Yes?"
"
Um..uh..that was some performance. I mean your moves, I didn't realize you were so, well, limber."
"Was it too much?" Kurt worried. "I tried to tone it down a bit."
"Oh no. Believe me it wasn't too much."
Blaine for some reason still looked awkward.
"Blaine, something is definitely wrong. What is it?"
The lead Warbler looked up, flushed and his eyes a darker hazel hue. "I just wanted to say that that was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. It was damn attractive."
Well.
Kurt found himself blushing. If he didn't know better he would have thought Blaine was turned on by his performance. If felt good to have someone admire his moves.
Picking up his messenger bag, Kurt thought to himself, I can do this. I can fight for some Warbler solos again. He wasn't as intimated by Dalton or even Blaine anymore.
Suddenly he felt Blaine push forward and before he knew it Blaine was kissing him. On the lips. Kurt fell in to the kiss for an instant , moaning with pleasure, then realized what was happening.
"What? No!" He pushed away from Blaine. "Blaine we're friends."
"I know but I feel different, now..."
"What, because I got you excited"? Kurt was flattered but at the same time a little insulted. Suddenly because Blaine was turned on by a performance he wanted to maul Kurt? A few weeks ago Kurt would have given in, but now that he knew Blaine didn't really like him that way it didn't feel as gratifying. After all, first there was Jeremiah, then there was Rachel, Kurt was the the third recipient of Blaine finding someone 'attractive'. Kurt wondered if there would be a fourth after him before the year was through. He didn't want to get hurt badly again. It was hard to trust Blaine's feelings after all that had happened. There had been too many mixed signals as it was.
"I'm so sorry Kurt." Blaine looked mortified, with a red hue on his cheeks.
Kurt calmed down a bit. "Blaine, it's fine. Listen, we're friends and I really don't want to spoil our friendship just because of teenage silliness. Let's just forget about it, OK?"
That's great, Ok."
***************
Pavarotti's death was hard on Kurt. It was more then just the death of a silly bird. It was everything at Dalton. His solos had not materialized and the Warblers had reverted to yet again Blaine and the Pips. Plus more and more he missed his friends at McKinley and the close proximity to his Dad.
The one thing that was good at Dalton, his friendship with Blaine had actually turned strained after the whole "Animals" incident. They both kept each other at arm's length. Blaine, who had always been a very tactile person, now hesitated before he touched Kurt as if he was afraid of something. Kurt couldn't help but notice that and it hurt a little. It was as if Blaine was now somehow uncomfortable in Kurt's physical presence. That in turn made Kurt close off and be more guarded and defensive with Blaine. Their coffee dates became more sporadic and they couldn't seem to talk as freely as before.
"I would like to sing a song for Pavarotti" he informed the Warblers during the practice session. As Kurt softly and sadly sang "Black Bird" he poured all his feelings of loss into the song. His loss of his friends, his loss of his mother and even a little his loss of his close friendship with Blaine.
As the tears streamed down his face Kurt realized he needed to go home. The Warblers were nice, Dalton was a safe haven, and Blaine was still his friend, but he needed to go home. He bolted from the room as soon as he had finished.
Blaine tried to stop him in the hallway , "Kurt.. there is something I have to tell you.."
"Sorry Blaine, I have to go..":
A phone call to his dad put a plan in motion that Kurt had been thinking about for weeks. Soon a conference at McKinley was arranged between Mr. Hummell and Mr. Karofsky with Kurt and Dave at Principal Slyvester's office.
"Why am I here again? " growled Karofsky.
"Because my son wants to come back to McKinley and I'll be damned if you or anyone else is ever going to threaten him or endanger him in any way." It was hard for Burt not rise up and strike the football jock, student or no student. Kurt put a hand on his dad's urging him to clam down.
Kurt looked at Dave and caught his yes and spoke evenly without emotion. "Dad, can I have a few words alone with Dave."
Once the adults left the room Kurt turned and faced Karofsky.
"What is it Hummell?"
"You kissed me Dave!"
"You can't prove anything."
"Why did you kiss me?"
"Because I wanted to Hummell, that's why! It doesn't make me a fairy like you, I'm into sports and stuff. Just because I want to fool around with you doesn't make me a fag."
"So you're attracted to me?"
"Yeah, So what if I am?"
"Why did you threaten to kill me?"
"That was just so scare you so you wouldn't dare tell anyone I kissed you. Damn, I wasn't really going to do anything to you Hummell!"
Listen up Dave, I'm tired of everything and I suspect so are you. I'm coming back to McKinley and that's that. The bullying ends now and your friends can't pick on me either."
"Or else?" sneered Dave.
Kurt played back a tape that he had kept hidden during his conversation with Dave.
Karofsky's face turned ashen as he realized Kurt had recorded their little talk and that word for word his attraction to Kurt was now on the record.
"By the way, I also have a couple of cameras in here recording our nice little conversation for Youtube consideration."
"How the hell did you get a hidden camera in the Principal's office? " Dave tried to put up a brave front but the full realization of what had happened was there and his voice was cracking.
"I have my ways, David. Doesn't hurt to have friends in the theater department, band , as well as Glee. Don't worry I'll download a copy for you in your facebook page so you'll know I'm not bluffing."
"You can't prove anything , you can't prove anything to the School district. They will throw out a hidden taped confession in court!"
Kurt steeled himself and looked him in the eye, not wavering for minute: "Maybe, but if you do anything to me, that video and the taped confession is going on Youtube , facebook and all other places online you can imagine. You think you made my life hell? Wait until everyone, including the other kids you bullied get a hold of this; Azimo and your jock friends will drop you in an instant and you will be lower then pond scum at McKinley."
Karofsky was near tears. "How can you do this to me? How can you out me? I'll be ruined."
In a softer tone, Kurt continued. "I don't believe in 'outing' anyone Dave, but this is different. This is protecting myself against a bully with issues that are none of my concern. Self defense is what I'm doing here. As long as you leave me alone you have nothing to worry about my ever releasing the tape or video anywhere. You have my word on that."
Karofsky lips trembled as he looked down "Fine Hummell , you win."
Kurt had to suppress the urge to gloat.
"I have a few more conditions but we'll work them out later. If it's better for you to transfer that is up to you but I don't really give a rat's ass. "
After everyone had left the Principals office and the dads were sorting things, including restitution for Kurt's Dalton tuition, Kurt had a few private words with Principal/Coach Sylvester. He took her by the hand as tears were filling up in his eyes. "Thank you for everything. Just thanks."
"What did I do ?"
"I know the risk you took for me."
Sue rolled her eyes. "I've done nothing and I wil admit to nothing. It's not my fault my office may have been bugged without my knowledge with cameras and video recorders, it's an outrage I tell you!"
*************
"Congratulations, Kurt on your duet selection." Wes happily informed Kurt from the Council table.
The applause around the room was deafening as the Warblers cheered his selection.
The irony of his finally getting a lead didn't escape Kurt as he stood to address the council and the choir group:
"I thank the Warblers but I'm afraid I have to turn the Duet down."
A murmur went around the room.
"Nobody ever turns down a lead among the Warblers."
Kurt addressed his Dalton friends. He had a genuine lump in his throat. "I will never forget the friendship you all offered me here at Dalton. The Warblers all made me feel safe and secure and for that I will always be grateful. But I'm transferring back to McKinley and so I can't perform for Dalton come Regionals. New Directions have asked me back with them upon my transfer but I don't want you to think I would betray you guys in any way. If the Warblers are uncomfortable with this , I won't perform with New Direction for the upcoming competition."
Wes smiled as he pounded the gavel to get everyone's attention.
"All those in favor with Kurt being allowed to perform with New Directions say aye, and I pity the person who dares to say Nay.."
After the Warblers all hugged and congratulated Kurt, he knew he had to face Blaine. As all the other students exited the room, only Kurt and Blaine remained. Blaine looked shaken and his eyes were red.
"Blaine, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you earlier."
"Kurt you can't leave."
"I know, our friendship.. but we can still see each other after school and on weekends."
"Screw our friendship, Kurt! Blaine interrupted him. "I think of you day and night Mr. Hummell, and not as a friend. I'm crazy about you and not being with you, really being with you is more then I can stand.
Jeremiah didn't seem right because he wasn't you. I was finally with a boy and holding him and kissing him just felt so wrong. It totally confused me. If I wasn't attracted to Jeremiah in my addled head I thought maybe I wasn't gay after all. In my stupidity I thought maybe Rachel was the reason but I knew that was wrong from our first date, because her version of Love Story wasn't mine. I was mooning for Ryan O'Neal for god's sake during our first date together during the movie! I dunno maybe I just wanted an out from Jeremiah.
The only time I felt comfortable and myself was with you. It hit me that I would rather be drinking coffee with you then on a date with a Jeremiah; and with Rachel I couldn't wait to get back and talk to you and share things with you. All the time I was dating Rachel I kept on thinking, "I'd rather be with Kurt." After Rachel I would have told you something but I was just scared to screw up our friendship. I knew at that point you thought I was a total head case.
Then when you gave the "Animal" performance you can't imagine what that did to me. I couldn't get you out of my mind Kurt, so that I had to stay away from you because all I wanted to do was kiss you and hold you and do all kinds of dirty things to you....Even drinking coffee was hard because it was an effort to keep my composure. I was afraid to even touch you. Those lips of yours! God!
It hurt that you thought I was only physically attracted to you, but how could I blame you when I was so screwed up for so long?"
Kurt tried to speak but Blaine waved him off.
"Then when you sang 'Blackbird' with all your emotion pouring out I just knew that you were the most compassionate and moral person I had ever known . And I was so proud to be your friend but it hurt so badly that I wasn't more. Because I wanted it to be more Kurt, so much more.
I tried to reach you after that but you had gone back to McKinley. I wanted to tell you how I felt about you.
Now you're saying you're leaving. No, you can't leave!."
At this point Kurt had moved in and kissed Blaine, cupping his face with his hands. "Blaine, just please shut up" he whispered before kissing him again as Blaine fell into the kiss.
When Kurt looked at him again, there was no doubt that the light in Blaine's eyes was just for him.
"So tell me, out of curiosity what was the duet you had picked out for us, Blaine Anderson?" Kurt asked in a playful tone.
Blaine could hardly speak as he was trying to kiss Kurt more.."Uh....Kurt..your lips..Oh my God....Kurt...oh.....Candles by Hey Monday,,"
Kurt laughed, "That is a terrible choice. "Let's practice trying to think up a more romantic duet selection."
Blaine silently agreed as once again their lips locked.
"Ok, we've always been completely honest with each other..."
Now would be the time to lay it on the line with Blaine, let him know he had a crush on him. Yet Kurt couldn't pull the trigger, pride, fear of being humiliated or rejected, all of that held him back.
So he switched the focus of the conversation.
"You were never going to win Jeremiah with that song, Blaine."
"You don't think so?"
Kurt had to chuckle at Blaine's earnestness.
"You heard , he doesn't want anything to do with me", Blaine seemed crestfallen and crushed.
Kurt realized in a flash, Blaine doesn't like me. Not that way. Just because Kurt thought he was in love with him didn't mean that anything would happen, that his feelings would be reciprocated. Kurt's words to Mr. Schuester came back to haunt him regarding Blaine , "But he's gay so that's an improvement."
The truth was it wasn't an improvement, not really. Gay or straight, unrequited love was a bitch; heartbreak was heartbreak. Hadn't he learned from all the drama within the New Directions kids and their straight relationships? Rachel and Finn dynamics was emotional roadkill . Just wanting someone so badly wasn't enough if the other person didn't feel it. It hurt, but Kurt reasoned it would hurt worse to pine for something you can't have. This had happennd twice to Kurt now and he didn't really want to make it a pattern.
"Blaine, I think you can still woo Jeremiah, if that's what you really want."
"You really think so, Kurt?"
Kurt took a deep breath before speaking , There's no going back , you are probably helping Blaine get a boyfriend , "First of all, we need to speak to the GAP manager and explain things to him to get Jeremiah's job back ."
Kurt took another breath.
"Second of all, you are sending Jeremiah a note with flowers explaining that the age of consent in Ohio is 16 and you are inviting him to a coffee to apologize for your actions."
"What happens after that Kurt?" Blaine questioned.
"Well, that is entirely up to you."
*******************
It had been several weeks since Blaine and Jeremiah had become an item. There was a bounce in Blaine's step over getting his first boyfriend. His first date. His first holding hands.
His first kiss.
"Kurt, you realize I owe it all to you. I was ready to give up after the GAP attack fiasco."
It still hurt Kurt, but in a way the fact that Blaine was oblivious to Kurt's unrequited crush mollified him somewhat, at least he still had his pride. Small consolation, but it wasn't like a total humiliation.
The other Warblers weren't fooled as easily. Several had approached him privately to say they were sorry and thought that Blaine was going to serenade him, instead of Jeremiah. Kurt just shrugged and told them they were obviously mistaken.
Mercedes was the single person he ran to to confess how devastating the whole turn of events had been to him.
"It happens, Kurt" Mercedes sympathetically wrapped her arm around his shoulder " You love someone and they don't love you back."
"The part of hurting, how long does that last?"
Mercedes just smiled sadly, "as long as it has to."
However things did get better. Kurt gradually reconciled that he and Blaine were good friends, probably best friends, and how could Kurt complain about that?
Now that he could look at Blaine as a friend and not someone he had a romantic future with, he could relax a bit more in Blaine's prescense. Kurt didn't have to try to impress Blaine constantly, worry about getting 'sloppy' every time he was with him.
Snarky Kurt was back and with that some of his old confidence and snap.
******************
Rachel's party was a drunken mess. Jeremiah was working that night so Blaine had accompanied Kurt to spend time with the New Directions kids. Kurt was more than bemused by Blaine kissing Rachel and carrying on with her half the evening.
Obviously alcohol did things to Blaine. It made him forget he was gay, he had a boyfriend and made him make out with Rachel Berry; in some ways, it had been so hilarious.
In the light of the morning over a morning brew at the Lima Bean, Blaine's confession that there might be more wasn't as funny.
"Blaine, your gay. Geeze, you even have a boyfriend!."
"I dunno, kissing Rachel felt good. Well, maybe I'm bi."
Kurt couldn't' believe his ears.
"What are you going to tell Jeremiah now?"
Blaine bit his lip and looked up awkwardly at Kurt. "Well, I can't date Rachel and cheat on Jeremiah. So I think I have to break up with him first..."
"Wait, what? What does that mean. Don't you like him?"
"
I thought I did, but I'm not so sure. Something is off with Jeremiah. It doesn't feel right."
Kurt looked askance at Blaine. Was his friend really that confused about himself? Inside, Kurt was relieved he had sidestepped getting in the middle of Blaine's teenage sexual crisis imagining how bad he would feel if some guy dumped him for Rachel Berry. Rachel Berry!
Yet at the same time, Blaine didn't look particularly happy. He certainly didn't look like he was in the throes of romantic bliss. He simply looked a little lost .
"Whatever. I'm trying so hard not to judge. I guess you have to find yourself, so you might as well date Rachel. Just remember I warned you that this is going to be a disaster."
Blaine smiled warmly at Kurt, "Did I ever tell you what a good friend you are?"
Kurt grumbled, "Not often enough, mister!"
***************
The dating with Rachel had gone precisely as Kurt had predicted, with Blaine eventually having the epiphany he and Rachel were on opposite sides of the chorus line.
"I'm so embarrassed. Do you think I hurt Rachel badly? She seemed fine when I told her that I was now convinced I was gay."
"Cheer up, it only took you five dates as opposed to an engagement and perhaps a shot gun wedding."
"Kurt!"
"Blaine, Rachel will just put this down as an interesting anecdote in her life on the road to Broadway stardom. Trust me, she'll survive. Just don't be surprised if she mentions you in her autobiography as the first of many closet queens she dated."
Blaine moaned as he put his hands to his face. "I am so screwed up."
Kurt chuckled, " Nothing that a second medium drip won't help."
*******************************
Kurt was ready for the "Animals" performance .
So ready.
He realized that he had never really let loose in any performance with the Warblers. The songs they sang all he had to do was doo wap in the background for Blaine's solo. Here he had actual lines! The first in a Warbler number. Now was a chance to just let himself go. As to being 'sexy' well he was going to show everyone what they were missing with Kurt Hummel. Ok, so maybe he was a sexual penguin, but nobody had to know that now.
Blaine Anderson may not have found him attractive or sexy, but Kurt was convinced that somewhere, someone out there would eventually.
So Kurt simply channeled the mindset he had while singing "Four Minutes" as a Cheerio, or better yet, " Push it Baby" with the other New Direction kids at the McKinley rally. If anything he had learned in his old school how to sell a number.
The performance seemed to go well. Some of the Crawford girls had approached him afterwards to get his number, which was a first for Kurt. He was flattered even if he had to let them down. Of course Blaine had gotten his share of numbers , but at this point Kurt wasn't even annoyed by that. It hit him that it was precisely because he no longer harbored any romantic illusions about Blaine.
Afterwards as he was fixing his hair Blaine came up to him.
"Kurt..."
"Yes?"
"
Um..uh..that was some performance. I mean your moves, I didn't realize you were so, well, limber."
"Was it too much?" Kurt worried. "I tried to tone it down a bit."
"Oh no. Believe me it wasn't too much."
Blaine for some reason still looked awkward.
"Blaine, something is definitely wrong. What is it?"
The lead Warbler looked up, flushed and his eyes a darker hazel hue. "I just wanted to say that that was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. It was damn attractive."
Well.
Kurt found himself blushing. If he didn't know better he would have thought Blaine was turned on by his performance. If felt good to have someone admire his moves.
Picking up his messenger bag, Kurt thought to himself, I can do this. I can fight for some Warbler solos again. He wasn't as intimated by Dalton or even Blaine anymore.
Suddenly he felt Blaine push forward and before he knew it Blaine was kissing him. On the lips. Kurt fell in to the kiss for an instant , moaning with pleasure, then realized what was happening.
"What? No!" He pushed away from Blaine. "Blaine we're friends."
"I know but I feel different, now..."
"What, because I got you excited"? Kurt was flattered but at the same time a little insulted. Suddenly because Blaine was turned on by a performance he wanted to maul Kurt? A few weeks ago Kurt would have given in, but now that he knew Blaine didn't really like him that way it didn't feel as gratifying. After all, first there was Jeremiah, then there was Rachel, Kurt was the the third recipient of Blaine finding someone 'attractive'. Kurt wondered if there would be a fourth after him before the year was through. He didn't want to get hurt badly again. It was hard to trust Blaine's feelings after all that had happened. There had been too many mixed signals as it was.
"I'm so sorry Kurt." Blaine looked mortified, with a red hue on his cheeks.
Kurt calmed down a bit. "Blaine, it's fine. Listen, we're friends and I really don't want to spoil our friendship just because of teenage silliness. Let's just forget about it, OK?"
That's great, Ok."
***************
Pavarotti's death was hard on Kurt. It was more then just the death of a silly bird. It was everything at Dalton. His solos had not materialized and the Warblers had reverted to yet again Blaine and the Pips. Plus more and more he missed his friends at McKinley and the close proximity to his Dad.
The one thing that was good at Dalton, his friendship with Blaine had actually turned strained after the whole "Animals" incident. They both kept each other at arm's length. Blaine, who had always been a very tactile person, now hesitated before he touched Kurt as if he was afraid of something. Kurt couldn't help but notice that and it hurt a little. It was as if Blaine was now somehow uncomfortable in Kurt's physical presence. That in turn made Kurt close off and be more guarded and defensive with Blaine. Their coffee dates became more sporadic and they couldn't seem to talk as freely as before.
"I would like to sing a song for Pavarotti" he informed the Warblers during the practice session. As Kurt softly and sadly sang "Black Bird" he poured all his feelings of loss into the song. His loss of his friends, his loss of his mother and even a little his loss of his close friendship with Blaine.
As the tears streamed down his face Kurt realized he needed to go home. The Warblers were nice, Dalton was a safe haven, and Blaine was still his friend, but he needed to go home. He bolted from the room as soon as he had finished.
Blaine tried to stop him in the hallway , "Kurt.. there is something I have to tell you.."
"Sorry Blaine, I have to go..":
A phone call to his dad put a plan in motion that Kurt had been thinking about for weeks. Soon a conference at McKinley was arranged between Mr. Hummell and Mr. Karofsky with Kurt and Dave at Principal Slyvester's office.
"Why am I here again? " growled Karofsky.
"Because my son wants to come back to McKinley and I'll be damned if you or anyone else is ever going to threaten him or endanger him in any way." It was hard for Burt not rise up and strike the football jock, student or no student. Kurt put a hand on his dad's urging him to clam down.
Kurt looked at Dave and caught his yes and spoke evenly without emotion. "Dad, can I have a few words alone with Dave."
Once the adults left the room Kurt turned and faced Karofsky.
"What is it Hummell?"
"You kissed me Dave!"
"You can't prove anything."
"Why did you kiss me?"
"Because I wanted to Hummell, that's why! It doesn't make me a fairy like you, I'm into sports and stuff. Just because I want to fool around with you doesn't make me a fag."
"So you're attracted to me?"
"Yeah, So what if I am?"
"Why did you threaten to kill me?"
"That was just so scare you so you wouldn't dare tell anyone I kissed you. Damn, I wasn't really going to do anything to you Hummell!"
Listen up Dave, I'm tired of everything and I suspect so are you. I'm coming back to McKinley and that's that. The bullying ends now and your friends can't pick on me either."
"Or else?" sneered Dave.
Kurt played back a tape that he had kept hidden during his conversation with Dave.
Karofsky's face turned ashen as he realized Kurt had recorded their little talk and that word for word his attraction to Kurt was now on the record.
"By the way, I also have a couple of cameras in here recording our nice little conversation for Youtube consideration."
"How the hell did you get a hidden camera in the Principal's office? " Dave tried to put up a brave front but the full realization of what had happened was there and his voice was cracking.
"I have my ways, David. Doesn't hurt to have friends in the theater department, band , as well as Glee. Don't worry I'll download a copy for you in your facebook page so you'll know I'm not bluffing."
"You can't prove anything , you can't prove anything to the School district. They will throw out a hidden taped confession in court!"
Kurt steeled himself and looked him in the eye, not wavering for minute: "Maybe, but if you do anything to me, that video and the taped confession is going on Youtube , facebook and all other places online you can imagine. You think you made my life hell? Wait until everyone, including the other kids you bullied get a hold of this; Azimo and your jock friends will drop you in an instant and you will be lower then pond scum at McKinley."
Karofsky was near tears. "How can you do this to me? How can you out me? I'll be ruined."
In a softer tone, Kurt continued. "I don't believe in 'outing' anyone Dave, but this is different. This is protecting myself against a bully with issues that are none of my concern. Self defense is what I'm doing here. As long as you leave me alone you have nothing to worry about my ever releasing the tape or video anywhere. You have my word on that."
Karofsky lips trembled as he looked down "Fine Hummell , you win."
Kurt had to suppress the urge to gloat.
"I have a few more conditions but we'll work them out later. If it's better for you to transfer that is up to you but I don't really give a rat's ass. "
After everyone had left the Principals office and the dads were sorting things, including restitution for Kurt's Dalton tuition, Kurt had a few private words with Principal/Coach Sylvester. He took her by the hand as tears were filling up in his eyes. "Thank you for everything. Just thanks."
"What did I do ?"
"I know the risk you took for me."
Sue rolled her eyes. "I've done nothing and I wil admit to nothing. It's not my fault my office may have been bugged without my knowledge with cameras and video recorders, it's an outrage I tell you!"
*************
"Congratulations, Kurt on your duet selection." Wes happily informed Kurt from the Council table.
The applause around the room was deafening as the Warblers cheered his selection.
The irony of his finally getting a lead didn't escape Kurt as he stood to address the council and the choir group:
"I thank the Warblers but I'm afraid I have to turn the Duet down."
A murmur went around the room.
"Nobody ever turns down a lead among the Warblers."
Kurt addressed his Dalton friends. He had a genuine lump in his throat. "I will never forget the friendship you all offered me here at Dalton. The Warblers all made me feel safe and secure and for that I will always be grateful. But I'm transferring back to McKinley and so I can't perform for Dalton come Regionals. New Directions have asked me back with them upon my transfer but I don't want you to think I would betray you guys in any way. If the Warblers are uncomfortable with this , I won't perform with New Direction for the upcoming competition."
Wes smiled as he pounded the gavel to get everyone's attention.
"All those in favor with Kurt being allowed to perform with New Directions say aye, and I pity the person who dares to say Nay.."
After the Warblers all hugged and congratulated Kurt, he knew he had to face Blaine. As all the other students exited the room, only Kurt and Blaine remained. Blaine looked shaken and his eyes were red.
"Blaine, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you earlier."
"Kurt you can't leave."
"I know, our friendship.. but we can still see each other after school and on weekends."
"Screw our friendship, Kurt! Blaine interrupted him. "I think of you day and night Mr. Hummell, and not as a friend. I'm crazy about you and not being with you, really being with you is more then I can stand.
Jeremiah didn't seem right because he wasn't you. I was finally with a boy and holding him and kissing him just felt so wrong. It totally confused me. If I wasn't attracted to Jeremiah in my addled head I thought maybe I wasn't gay after all. In my stupidity I thought maybe Rachel was the reason but I knew that was wrong from our first date, because her version of Love Story wasn't mine. I was mooning for Ryan O'Neal for god's sake during our first date together during the movie! I dunno maybe I just wanted an out from Jeremiah.
The only time I felt comfortable and myself was with you. It hit me that I would rather be drinking coffee with you then on a date with a Jeremiah; and with Rachel I couldn't wait to get back and talk to you and share things with you. All the time I was dating Rachel I kept on thinking, "I'd rather be with Kurt." After Rachel I would have told you something but I was just scared to screw up our friendship. I knew at that point you thought I was a total head case.
Then when you gave the "Animal" performance you can't imagine what that did to me. I couldn't get you out of my mind Kurt, so that I had to stay away from you because all I wanted to do was kiss you and hold you and do all kinds of dirty things to you....Even drinking coffee was hard because it was an effort to keep my composure. I was afraid to even touch you. Those lips of yours! God!
It hurt that you thought I was only physically attracted to you, but how could I blame you when I was so screwed up for so long?"
Kurt tried to speak but Blaine waved him off.
"Then when you sang 'Blackbird' with all your emotion pouring out I just knew that you were the most compassionate and moral person I had ever known . And I was so proud to be your friend but it hurt so badly that I wasn't more. Because I wanted it to be more Kurt, so much more.
I tried to reach you after that but you had gone back to McKinley. I wanted to tell you how I felt about you.
Now you're saying you're leaving. No, you can't leave!."
At this point Kurt had moved in and kissed Blaine, cupping his face with his hands. "Blaine, just please shut up" he whispered before kissing him again as Blaine fell into the kiss.
When Kurt looked at him again, there was no doubt that the light in Blaine's eyes was just for him.
"So tell me, out of curiosity what was the duet you had picked out for us, Blaine Anderson?" Kurt asked in a playful tone.
Blaine could hardly speak as he was trying to kiss Kurt more.."Uh....Kurt..your lips..Oh my God....Kurt...oh.....Candles by Hey Monday,,"
Kurt laughed, "That is a terrible choice. "Let's practice trying to think up a more romantic duet selection."
Blaine silently agreed as once again their lips locked.