never mind the bollocks, here's the sex pistols!
Name: Jeremiah Reid.
Age: Twenty-six.
Birthdate:
Occupation: "Freelance" delivery boy. Yes, he is twenty-six years old and does the takeout orders -- and "freelance" in the sense that he can't seem to hold down a position with a pizza parlor longer than a few weeks, due to his penchant to not show up at all. Worse still, he doesn't seem to be ashamed of any of this in the least. However, it does give him the opportunity to feel the breeze on his face and so on as he's racing along on his Vespa, which he does quite enjoy when the mood takes him.
More recently, he's taken up "writing" for the television show To Bed, mostly because he's been strapped for cash and Kilroy was strapped for writers.
Fairytale: The Hare from The Tortoise and the Hare.
Ability, if any: Speed! Not that he bothers much with racing or the like, since he'd frankly rather be napping, but he can really foot it when he wants to.
History: Born in New York City, the Reids relocated to the suburbs of New Jersey quickly after Jeremiah was born. Two years after the Garden State move, Jeremiah got a younger sister, Winnie, to whom he is particularly attached. He was never very comfortable in the role of protective older brother, but he found himself telling the boys who walked her home to fuck off regardless. They were a fairly typical middle class family, with Jeremiah attending the local public school. He wasn't exactly the stereotypical big man on campus, but he did have his share of friends and briefly played on the varsity basketball team.
The summer between his freshman and sophomore year, Jeremiah was invited to try out for the following year's track team by one of his pals. When he effectively left everyone else in the dust and ended up running quite a distance farther than he intended (rather than making it to the library and back, he found himself at the convenience store across the street), he figured something slightly off might be going on. Before he knew it, Jeremiah was being called on by not only the cross country coach, but also some freak who called himself a librarian. With a shrug and a sigh, young Mister Reid took the proffered journal and the advice to stay away from sports where he might garner unwanted attention. As far as he was concerned, as long as this Atheneum crap didn't interfere with his lifestyle, it didn't much concern him either way. It was a bit sketchy, sure, but he accepted it without much fuss and went on with his life as planned -- which roughly consisted of goofing off with friends, dating as many girls as he could, listening to miserable music, and wishing he lived somewhere other than Jersey. Jeremiah briefly flirted with the prospect of dropping out of high school in his senior year, but pushed through at the prompting of his sister.
College, however, was another story. Only signing up to appease his parents, Jeremiah began attending a liberal arts school in Brooklyn. After changing his major a dozen odd times, he finally dropped out and relocated to the Pentamerone -- as much as he thought the whole fairy tale thing was bizarre, Jeremiah decided he could suffer their presence if they could provide him with a place to stay. He keeps saying he's going to move out (because everyone in the building are a bunch of pricks, with exceptions to the rule few and far between), but that's extremely unlikely with his current salary.
Thus far: Coming soon!
Personality: Ask him to do something and the very carefully, well-thought out reply will be, "Mmmmmmm. No." He's very much mostly concerned for looking out for Number One (also known as himself), and his agenda tends to be focused on entertainment and keeping himself well-rested. "Serious" matters are generally dismissed in favor of these things, so he's not exactly the type of guy you look to for a shoulder to cry on. Jeremiah prefers to live in the moment, and that moment doesn't generally include looking after anyone else -- unless you happen to be an attractive female.
Much like his tale, Jeremiah is lazy to a fault. Even on the off chance that he's decided he's going to actively pursue something, it is extremely likely that he'll decide against his better judgment to put that on hold and go have a lie-down in his room. One thing that can be said for the guy, Jeremiah knows what he likes and that generally involves some form of shut-eye.
Jeremiah is very much of a mind that anything that requires the mantra of going slow and steady to win the proverbial race is not worth the time; it's not only a point of Hare-influenced pride, but it also goes against his personality. Instant gratification is the way to go -- anything else is a load of bullshit.
His evident lack of work ethic has proved to be his downfall on more than one occasion. Throughout his educational career, his teachers sighed that he had so much talent and was capable of so much. Unfortunately, his grades rarely matched up to his supposed intelligence, so Jeremiah just coasted along on a few scraped C's and D's. He simply refuses to put any kind of effort into anything (though he'll be sure to insist that he could accomplish such a task if he chose to) and it's extremely frustrating for the people who care about him. That attitude was his main motivation for leaving school. He figured hanging around was a waste of time, seeing himself as a pretty good looking guy with no particular talents. Sure, he's smart (he'd be the first one to tell you that), but he really couldn't see himself doing anything in particular. Lawyer? Pilot? Doctor? Nah, he'd much rather just hang out and do whatever he feels like.
Played-By: Joe Anderson.
Likes: Sleep. Pizza. Speed. Sex.
Dislikes: Commitment. Punctuality. Having to wait. People who expect something from him.
Musical Tastes: Joy Division. Abbey Road-era Beatles. Fugazi. David Bowie.
Personifying Song: You Never Give Me Your Money, The Beatles.
the obligatory bit:
Jeremiah has always tried to deny the similarities between his personality and that of his tale, but the truth is that he hasn't changed a bit. Jeremiah is the latest of several incarnations of the Hare, but his arrogance and laziness have been made evident pretty much every time his tale is born again, and this is no exception. Inwardly, Jeremiah kind of resents being saddled with his tale's reputation of being a loser, but other than that he hasn't done much to fight it. For the most part, he's just content living his life as he sees fit and roll with the punches.
the optional bit:
The Tortoise has always rubbed Jeremiah the wrong way, despite instances in the past wherein the Tortoise attempted to be the bigger person and tried to make amends.
SOUNDTRACK
"my kind of guy" kaiser chiefs