Ha, yeah. That's a whole separate issue. At least in that situation though, you can write it off (when dealing with idiots), or reply with something like "No, I'm serious, hear me out."
Being told to relax in an overall sense, in a way that covers the entire scope of a social event -- or "better" yet, is meant to be advice about how one conducts oneself in life -- is harder to refute. I usually feel defenseless against it. If I defend myself (with or without mention of illness), I look more anxious; if I disagree in a "calm" way, I seem to often be "Overanalyzing Again."
Either way I feel reamed by my own friends on a regular basis. And the biggest part of the reaming is the guilt, because I feel my behavior has been a nuisance to them. That, too, is anxiety.
I'm not usually so worrying-at-a-bone about this. (Heh.) Huh.
Hmm, maybe I'm guilty of doing this to you myself... I'm sorry if I am.
My friend Mai is going blind. When she walks with a walking-cane people claim that she's a fake. You can here them talk about her. There are certain things that people don't believe. Anxiety isn't real. If you're young and pretty you can't possible be blind, shit like that. There are a lot of idiots, well- and fairly intelligent people too, that believe myths like these. I'm sorry for the trouble your having.
Thanks. I don't recall you ever doing it to me. I've usually been the calmer of us, which is a very new experience for me. :)
Yes, if I can express myself and look "together" and all that, it must not be that bad, people think. They don't know how much of my apparent intelligence has gone to maintaining that appearance, whether I've wanted it to or not. It's not like going blind though. I have no idea how I'd handle that. Very poorly, I'd imagine.
She handles it very well. What brings her down most of the time is when people don't believe she's blind. In that sense, I felt as if you could relate.
I'm curious, what do you think will happen if people actually saw how much of a problem this is for you? What would change?
God, I have no idea why I didn't get an email that you replied to this.
I think you mainly do it because you have a very large personal bubble, both verbally and physically. And in this situation you feel as though demands are being put on you even when they're not. You seem to feel invaded, and I can't begin to tell you how awful I feel about that sometimes. I don't always know whether it's an invasion you can forgive. If I'm anxious enough, I fear that just the way I behave will drive you away. I feel like I cannot trust myself to keep our friendship, because one day you will flee from me screaming. Talking to you when I am symptomatic has often added to the symptomatism for this reason.
Sometimes though I guess I am wanting a response, and at those times, I think you're justified in telling me to calm down or what have you. You're not responsible for me to that extent. But you're right, there's an intolerance I sometimes get from you that isn't fair.
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Being told to relax in an overall sense, in a way that covers the entire scope of a social event -- or "better" yet, is meant to be advice about how one conducts oneself in life -- is harder to refute. I usually feel defenseless against it. If I defend myself (with or without mention of illness), I look more anxious; if I disagree in a "calm" way, I seem to often be "Overanalyzing Again."
Either way I feel reamed by my own friends on a regular basis. And the biggest part of the reaming is the guilt, because I feel my behavior has been a nuisance to them. That, too, is anxiety.
I'm not usually so worrying-at-a-bone about this. (Heh.) Huh.
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(I get really really sick of people telling me to be nicer, so I do sympathize.)
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My friend Mai is going blind. When she walks with a walking-cane people claim that she's a fake. You can here them talk about her. There are certain things that people don't believe. Anxiety isn't real. If you're young and pretty you can't possible be blind, shit like that. There are a lot of idiots, well- and fairly intelligent people too, that believe myths like these. I'm sorry for the trouble your having.
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Yes, if I can express myself and look "together" and all that, it must not be that bad, people think. They don't know how much of my apparent intelligence has gone to maintaining that appearance, whether I've wanted it to or not. It's not like going blind though. I have no idea how I'd handle that. Very poorly, I'd imagine.
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I'm curious, what do you think will happen if people actually saw how much of a problem this is for you? What would change?
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(The comment has been removed)
I think you mainly do it because you have a very large personal bubble, both verbally and physically. And in this situation you feel as though demands are being put on you even when they're not. You seem to feel invaded, and I can't begin to tell you how awful I feel about that sometimes. I don't always know whether it's an invasion you can forgive. If I'm anxious enough, I fear that just the way I behave will drive you away. I feel like I cannot trust myself to keep our friendship, because one day you will flee from me screaming. Talking to you when I am symptomatic has often added to the symptomatism for this reason.
Sometimes though I guess I am wanting a response, and at those times, I think you're justified in telling me to calm down or what have you. You're not responsible for me to that extent. But you're right, there's an intolerance I sometimes get from you that isn't fair.
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