175. (fic) suddenly i see

Mar 09, 2012 22:34

title: suddenly i see
rating/genre: g; flufff
pairing(s): junba
words: 642
summary: after ten years of mutual watching, jun finally sees.
disclaimer: FICTION.
notes: for gondor rainbowfilling!! i am in serious rainbowfill debt, and since the yama fic i was working on has defeated me, here is this instead. as usual, a song has come to my inspirational aid. this time it was suddenly i see by k.t. tunstall. P.S: FOR MY JUNBA FREE-SQUARE :D

everything around her is a silver pool of light
the people who surround her feel the benefit of it, it makes you calm

Jun hates being jealous. He hates it because he never gets jealous of things-things he can get, he can buy, or get his parents to buy-no, what Jun gets jealous of is people. And he is so jealous of Aiba.

It’s no secret that Jun’s an “elite” in the company. He’s not really sure how everyone found out, but people seem to know this about him before they even meet him. It’s a big deal, it means he’s got something, “potential” is what the grown-up around him are always saying-his parents, managers, teachers. He’s proud of it, but it’s frustrating because surely it means that he should be the best. But when he meets Aiba he’s not so sure anymore.

Because Aiba’s got something, too, something Jun doesn’t have and has no idea how to get. Where Jun is always striving for people’s attention, a way to be funny, or cool, or charming, Aiba just is. “Bright” is the word Jun always thinks of when he thinks of Aiba. The other boy lights up the room without meaning to, when he smiles, and when he tells stories with his whole body, arms and legs flailing. He doesn’t have to try to make people laugh, or to make people like him, to make people watch him from across the room the way Jun is always watching him.

*

she fills up every corner like she’s born in black and white
makes you feel warmer when you’re trying to remember what you heard

Aiba’s not surprised when it’s Jun that hits it big for Arashi. Sure, Aiba has daydreamed about it being him-about his face being on every magazine cover and every train ad and just everywhere. But of course it’s Jun, and that “something” of his that he’s always had.

And maybe it took some time for it to finally crystallize, for Jun to stop desperately seeking attention instead of his presence simply demanding it. But, no, Aiba’s not surprised. Jun grew out of his awkward teenage limbs and hair and teeth and right into something Aiba can only think of as “striking”. It catches you, that look Jun’s got, and stops you dead in your tracks. It happens every time Aiba sees Jun staring back at him from a glossy spread, and Aiba wishes he had Jun’s “something”.

Because as hard as Aiba tries, he can’t just throw around smoldering looks like Jun does. It takes some trial and error, and the help of lighting and costume teams, and Aiba always feels strange, trying to seduce the camera with his eyes. But for Jun it just seems to come so naturally. There doesn’t even have to be a camera around, sometimes Jun just looks up from whatever he’s doing and already he’s got that look, that electric stare. Aiba knows, because he’s always watching.

*

suddenly i see - this is what i wanna be
suddenly i see - why the hell this means so much to me

And after almost ten years of mutual watching, Jun finally sees.

He doesn’t mean to rush things, but he has Aiba crowded up against the wall before he really realizes what he’s doing.

“There’s just-there’s just something,” Jun finds himself saying. It’s vague, a bit nonsensical, but it’s heady, this feeling of finally knowing what it was he saw in Aiba all along.

“Something,” Aiba repeats breathlessly, like he knows exactly what Jun’s talking about. His hands have already come up to rest lightly at Jun’s waist, and he is staring, staring, staring at Jun’s mouth.

Jun leans in, makes it very clear what he’s about to do. “Is this okay?” he asks.

“Perfect,” Aiba murmurs.

And it is.

Notes: okay, for really real now, hiatus. really.

genre: fluff, rating: g, one-shot, junba

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