HARMONY PODCAST TRANSCRIPT #20
HARMONY PODCAST TRANSCRIPT #20
US
Childhelp
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
The mission of Childhelp is to meet the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of abused and neglected children
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 140 languages through interpreter services.
UK
Childline
ChildLine is the free helpline for children and young people in the UK. Children and young people can call us on 0800 1111 to talk about any problem - our counsellors are always here to help you sort it out.
24-hour National Domestic Violence helpline
The 24-hour freephone number is: 0808 2000 247
The helpline is there 24 hours a day, seven days a week for women experiencing domestic violence. Refuge's fully trained female workers, provide support and information. All calls are confidential. The helpline is run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge.
HAVOCA
Provides support, friendship and advice for any adult who's life has been affected by childhood abuse.
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HARMONY PODCAST TRANSCRIPT #20
This is Harmony Podcast.
Because it shouldn`t hurt to be a child. April is National Child Abuse Awareness Month.
[SONG - This song was used in a campaign against children`s poverty in Spain]
Hello everyone, I want to say a big thank you to my son for helping me open the show. And I want to thank Keira for sending me in the song that you just heard. It`s the official song of a campaign against children`s poverty there in Spain and she heard it and thought it fit the podcast and she went out of her way to get this song for me. And I want to say thank you so much because it fits so well in with this podcast. As some or most of you know April is National Child Abuse Awareness and Prevention Month and I wanna give a warning before I go any further. I`m going to be discussing a very sensitive topic, child and spousal abuse in this podcast. If you believe that this is going to be a trigger in any way or you feel that you just may not be able to listen to it, please turn the podcast of now. Everybody understands that sometimes it`s hard to relive it all, just please you know if you think it`s going to hurt you in any way turn the podcast of and please join us again in podcast 21 next month.
Getting on with the show, just doing the prep I always do for the podcast before I record them, I can`t tell you how many times I`ve teared up while doing this. Um, I`ve read so many sad stories and so many instances of children being hurt… that it just … sorry… it just broke my heart… and to tell you the truth in some instances I relived my terrible childhood as well. And yes it hurts but the thought of how I helped Sarah and Meg last year got me through it all. And if I can just help one child or adult this year it`ll be all worth it.
VOICEMAIL
"Hi Misti this is Sarah, I`m fayevalentine00 on all the fandom sites and on myspace I`m genkigemini. I know that for April you are talking about the Child Abuse Awareness Month, so I thought I`d share my story, try to make it quick. I was an abused child, just to give you a quick run down of some of the things that happened. My sister, my step sister and I actually, all had to sleep in a garage. It wasn`t insulated or anything and it didn`t have a rest room and we had carpeting but every time it rain it would flood so we had mushrooms growing in our carpet and our electrical wiring was underwater so we used to throw pieces of metal in the water to make sure that we didn`t get electrocuted when we got out of bed. When I was 13 my step dad tried to choke me to death. He threw me up against a wall and put his hands around my throat and um… I a… passed out and he thought I was dead so he let me go and I woke up screaming and my mom looked at me and the first thing she said to me was, “well you deserved it.” Um and my dad used to beat us with a leather belt which people always say you get hit with a belt but he would beat us with the metal belt buckle part of it and um, I won`t say what it was but it was a religious symbol, the belt buckle and to this day I can`t look at it because I had that image imprinted on my skin many a time when I was younger. But the whole reason I called in was just um, to say you know what made it better for me um, because this went on for years from I was a little kid up until I was about 13/14. I finally told somebody, I went… I turned to church. My family wasn`t involved with church, I needed friends, I needed to get out of the house so I started going to church. And we went to Mexico and to Mexico outreach um, you know when I was about 13/14 and um, we were doing prayer requests and I just went, my mom beats me. And um which is kinda ridiculous I guess looking back but you know it let people know what I was going through and I suddenly had this group of friends that where so supportive. And I ended up kinda moving out of my parents house staying with friends and family `till I was about 17.
I guess I rambled too much and got cut of so… this is Faye again. Basically I told people, um and you know I suddenly had a group of friends that were willing to help me out and listen to me. And when things would happen you know they`d be there for me. There where adults that would let me stay in their homes and that really helped, it gave me the strength to become my own person and not just like this victim of abuse. And then I joined martial arts later and that really helped too. But the key for me you know after everything I`d gone through, cause you know you have bruises, you go to school in turtlenecks you know in the middle of July in California. You know, um, which is ridiculous you know people look at you funny. But you just have to tell somebody because telling people changed my life. I could still have been in that situation for a very long time. You know now I`m 26 and I`m married and I have my life together, um and I do talk to my mom now because she um, you know sobered up and things. But um… but I had to find myself and telling people was the key to that and that`s the most important thing. You have to let people know what`s going on with you, um… and people will help you. It`s not your fault when you`re getting hit even if you think it is. And that`s my story so thanks."
~*~
Thank you so much for sharing your story with everybody Sarah. And just so that you all know this is not the same Sarah from last years podcast, this is a different Sarah.
CHILD ABUSE STATISTICS
To start things of I wanted to read a few statistics to you. I posted them on the Harmony Podcast website and on the Harmony Podcast Live Journal community as well. But just to give you an idea of how big of a problem this is in the United States and Worldwide. And these are the most current statistics that I could find on all this.
Four children die every day in the United States from child abuse; the equivalent of a Boeing 727 filled with kids, crashing each month; or a school bus full of children crashing every 18 days. (www.childhelp.org)
According to Childhelp USA, surveys have shown that, although the majority of Americans polled believe that everyone should play a role in stopping child abuse, many people also admit to witnessing child abuse and doing nothing about it.
The four main types of abuse are 1) Physical, 2) Neglect, 3) Emotional, and 4) Sexual.
There are more than two million reported cases of physical abuse or neglect in the United States each year (National Centre on Child Abuse and Neglect). The National Committee for Prevention of Child Abuse in the United States indicates that approximately 2,000 children per year die of child abuse and/or neglect. Canadian authorities estimate that the incidence of child abuse and neglect in Canada parallels that of the United States. At least one in three girls and one in seven boys are sexually abused by the time they reach the age of 18. In the vast majority of cases, sexual abusers are known to their victims. More than half of all sexual abuse occurs within the family. Offenders come from all economic, ethnic, racial, and educational backgrounds and religious traditions. They may be respected members of the community, church or synagogue.
When children are exposed to abuse, they learn to protect themselves by: denial, withdrawal, approval-seeking, turning off their feelings, by acting out, and by self-blame. Using these coping mechanisms in childhood has long-term consequences, which can include: lack of trust, a fear of change and resultant difficulty in adjusting, difficulty knowing or showing one's own feelings, being easily stressed and acting on that by abusing substances, food, and one's own body, and feelings of low self-esteem and self-worth. (http://www.wingsoffiresurvivors.com/surviving.htm)
Because survivors of childhood abuse have learned that they cannot protect themselves and that abuse is normal, their life choices often bring about a repeat of the pattern and experience of being abused. It is not unusual for survivors to put themselves in dangerous situations. They often become rape victims, and often choose abusing partners. Although some victims go on to become abusers, this is not necessarily the case. (http://www.wingsoffiresurvivors.com/surviving.htm)
The sources of these facts were childhelp.org and wingsoffiresurvivors.com there will be links in the transcript notes. If you, or someone you know is being abused, be it child or adult in any four of the forms I just mentioned, you can call either 1-800-4ACHILD or 1-800-WEPREVENT and report it. You may just save a child's life...or even your own.
CHILD ABUSE HARMONY PODCAST WEBSITE FORUM THREAD POSTS
In January I opened up a thread in the forums for basically talking about this months podcast. I know it was early but I wanted to give everybody a chance to share any stories or any occurrences that they had that dealt with abuse as well. And you know the turn out was overwhelming I didn`t think as many people would share their stories as did. And what was even more refreshing to see was how the members of my website responded. You guys are so respectful and sensitive and caring. It`s wonderful to see nowadays because truthfully there`s not that many people out there anymore that really give a damn. And the fact that you guys pulled together and gave advice to these other members that needed the help and just needed an ear to listen. You guys are great. I mean seriously, the things that I read, yes they`re heart breaking but it`s also heart warming to see how much you guys cared and how much you tried to help, you know, as much as much as you could. I know there`s not much we can do sometimes but sometimes just listening and sometimes a shoulder to cry on and a hug is all people need, to feel just a little bit better. Of course it can`t solve all the worlds problems but you`d be surprised just how much a hug can help.
Anyway onto the thread, the first story we`ll call them, comes from hrry_mione_love on the forums. And she writes,
"As a young child, I was a victim of abuse. Not all of it was physical. Most of it was emotional or mental, but the physical did come. I don`t remember much before the age of 5. I remember one night my parents got in a big fight over something stupid and were screaming at each other. My mum told me to go to my room and minutes later I was up against the wall in hysterical tears when I heard my dad punch my mum. The next day I was told to tell no one of how she got it, or even that she had it. That night was the first memory I have of the abuse starting. It started on me not soon after as my dad's alcohol problem got worse and worse. I remember him telling me I was stupid and I would never have any friends. I remember him slapping me across the face and yelling at me, while my mum just stood by and watched, crying. He continued to call me names, abuse my mother, myself the worst, and my brother and sisters some for years after that. I recall once when I was young and I told him I didn`t know how to read roman numerals on a clock. He lashed out at me, saying he couldn`t believe he had such a stupid daughter that couldn`t even tell time. He threw me to the ground and kicked me. As you could imagine, it just went on and on.
My mum was too weak to do anything, she had to big of heart and believed that he could change, that he really did want to be better. They occasionally got in really bad fights and my dad left for a few days, only to return days later, like nothing had ever happened. I went through my years hating him and avoiding him at all costs, afraid of what might happen if I got in the way.
When I was 10 years old, I found out that my mum and dad were not...well, my mum and dad. They were my aunt and uncle. My aunt-mum (as I shall call her from here out) broke down one night and told me that my real mother, who had me when she was 16, had died in a car accident we had gotten into when I was seven in Italy. (I pretty much remembered that, but had always been told my memories were just dreams) That after a year or two I moved to America with them. I remember being so relieved, like I could finally get out of this life. But it wasn`t that simple. My real father, well, that stories a bit confusing, I cant live with because he's a commander in the navy and is always on long deployments. And because my aunt and uncle have custody of me. My uncle-dad (as I shall call him from here out) was furious that my aunt-mum had told me the truth. He had gone so far to change my name, because he wanted me to be their child. I began to come in contact with my real life that I left behind years ago and loved the feeling of it.
Many nights I spent begging my aunt-mum to leave him, to do it for the sake of me and my cousins. She said we had to give him a chance. After one breakdown, she sent him to AA and counselling, he promised to get better. Well, you can guess how that turned out. She sent me to counselling, but I was a smart ass to my therapist and he agreed to let me quit.
Everything with my uncle-dad had gone quite well for a few months and I was happy. I knew that I would never forgive him, or forget what happened, but at least it wasn`t happening any more. Until one night when I supposedly 'smarted off' to him and he lost control. I ran crying down the stairs trying to get away from him. He shouted, 'Where are you going to run, hm? Where?' My aunt-mum ran after him, but it was no use. He slammed me against the front door and yelled at me, hitting me.
The next day I saw my two best friends, Bridget and Tristin. Tristin had grown incredibly worried about me, Bridget as well. They made me tell them what happened, and they said to me, "This is it. This is the last straw. You have to do something about it this time." I'm still working up the courage, to tell you the truth.
Its hard, I won't lie to you. I didn't want to upset my family, I didn’t want my cousins to hate me forever because I took their daddy away. I didn`t want my aunt-mum to hate me for taking her husband away. I hope one day they'll understand why I need to do it. I think it will save my life. If you don't tell someone, if you don`t get help, it will be the death of you emotionally. You will get worn out and torn up inside. It will eat you away inside. Not only when you're going through it, but also when you are out of it. If you are a teen or child, when you grow up you will have some serious issues. If you are an adult, it will be just as bad. You can't let the fear of it hold you back, you have to go through with it.
I'll always have issues, even when I'm an adult, (I'm still in my mid teens). I won`t deny that you will have some problems when you're older somewhere inside you, the truth, your past, will always lie deep inside you.
Remember, I know what it's like. I know how hard it is. If you need anything, if you need help, I am here for anyone that needs it. My door`s always open. I can simply just talk to someone, that always helped me. Sorry if this was a bit long, but I needed to share it with you and everyone else. I want to encourage others to get help. Thanks so much. I love you all. hrry_mione_love."
~*~
I want to thank you for sharing your story with us. I know how hard it is to write down the things that happen and sharing it with others is extremely hard as well.
~*~
Another story from hooobajube, she… also known as Meg who wrote in last year to say that um… listening to the podcast had helped her. She wrote in with this story that just… she told me it before when we were chatting one night but it just… it`s heart breaking. And she wrote about it in the forum to share it and I think it`s pretty fitting to this podcast. It says,
"Hey Misti, its me. I know I went on about myself last year but this year has been overly difficult for my husband and I. This past November was the 5th anniversary of my stepsons murder. I have told you the whole story before but I feel that this is something than needs to be shared.
Before I knew or met my husband he was married, they had a son together but his ex-wife is very vindictive and only seemed to want to hurt my husband. He is the best father a child can ask for, believe me he is the best dad I could ever want for my children. Anyway she decided that she had to take everything from him. She went to the police and said that my husband abused her and slammed her hand in the door. Well the police arrested him and she had not a scratch on her. So my husband sat in prison while she took their son.. Cody and everything else from him and left him with nothing but his geo metro and some clothes. As time went by my husband only saw his son a few times, each time Cody was becoming skinnier and skinnier and more unhealthy looking. It was around this time that I met my husband, he was so proud to be a dad and so very, very sad that he couldn't be one. During our first two months dating he told me that Cody had been in the hospital twice, once for malnutrition and once for a skull fracture. At this point we had decided to try and fight for custody of Cody, even though I had only been dating my husband for about 3 months I was willing to do anything to get his son out of that situation. We drove down to the town where Cody and his mother lived and tried to get in touch with someone to help. We got the phone numbers that we needed and everything to go, we went on a Friday and were going to call the people first thing the next week. That was too long to wait.
On November 18th, 2002 my stepson died from a lacerated liver, he was only 18 months old at the time. The first and last time I saw my step son he was dead. I live everyday loving and praising the children that are mine, and not. Children should never go through this sort of pain. The man that murdered my stepson is in jail for the rest of his life. I found this article on-line it is one of just a few out there, please read it but only take what Melissa Wood says with a grain of salt because she is the one that let this happen, she told my husband that she knew what was happening, she knew that Cody was being abused. And from the way she was acting at the funeral and the pictures she put up the woman didn't care. She walked in to that church not upset sad or anything. The small white coffin in front of her supposedly holding what is supposed to mean everything to her and she barks orders to a man like it doesn't even phase her. And to put photos up of him bruised and beaten in memory of a dead child, that woman belongs behind bars herself. Please remember Cody when you do this podcast for me my husband and my two little boys. Thanks Misti."
~*~
Another post on the thread that I want to read for you is from FayeValentine00. In her post she wrote,
"Hi everyone. I have a question for those who have been in abusive home situations. Have your parents ever said, "If you think I was bad, you should have seen my parents?"
I am only asking because I just recently got back in touch with my family after nearly 7 years and we have good days and we have bad days but the other day, out of the blue, my mother said this to me. Now, this is the same woman that watched my step-dad choke me unconscious and then when I woke up, her first words to me were, "well, you deserved it." Not to mention the years and years and years of physical and mental abuse. The above incident was just the one I have a really hard time forgetting. Especially since she is still married to that man and now I flip out if anything is too tight on my neck.
Now, she is a recovering alcoholic with 4 years sobriety so I try not to bring up the past. She is doing better. She is a good grandmother to my nieces (8 and 10 months) and nephew (5) and I respect how she has tried to mend ties with me but how do you respond to that.
I usually get mad and then tell her I don't want to talk about her parents but... UGH! Any advice on how to deal?"
~*~
There where a few responses to her post.
Rick Deckard wrote,
"Sounds like an attempt to take off the guilt of oneself.
I cannot comprehend why your mother acts the same as her mother."
~*~
In response to FayeValentine00 I finally got a chance to read through the thread one day and when I saw her post it kinda clicked with me. Basically I quoted her,
"I have a question for those who have been in abusive home situations. Have your parents ever said, "If you think I was bad, you should have seen my parents?"
My response was,
"I heard it all throughout my childhood, unfortunately, along with the terrible stories to prove it. The one that sticks out in my mind the most is the day my grandfather caught my dad smoking outside on their front porch. My dad was 16 and my grandpa didn't say a word, he just picked up a nearby metal trashcan lid and slammed it into my dad's face, knocking him to the ground. It was terrible to hear about what a tyrant my grandpa was because he was always so sweet and kind to me. My dad always said he was so nice to me because I was the 'light of his life' because at that time, I was his only grandchild."
And of course, I`m not sure if I spoke about this in the last year podcast or not. I quoted Faye again, where she said
"Now, this is the same woman that watched my step-dad choke me unconscious and then when I woke up, her first words to me were, "well, you deserved it."
I responded with,
"When I was ten, my dad told me to go outside and watch my little sister so my mom could make dinner. Being ten, I felt I had better things to do with my time and I remember sighing and rolling my eyes as I stomped by him. Big mistake. He ended up throwing me down on my bed and started hitting me everywhere on my body, and stopped about ten minutes later but seemed like forever to me though. When he was done I lay there crying and he looked down at me with this disgusted look on his face as he asked, "Why are you crying? I hit you open handed, it shouldn't have hurt as bad."
Then I wrote to her,
"I completely understand why you'll never forget what your mom said."
With children certain things just stick in your head and especially when you`re getting hit by someone who`s supposed to love you unconditionally. It`s hard for a child to understand and it hurts so much and hrry_mione_love responded to mine. It says,
"Now that I hear you reply and tell your story like that, I can totally say I've been there before. I hear it all the time. "Your grandfather was horrible to me. He's changed a lot since then because you're his grandchildren" Or in some shape or form along with, "If you think I was bad, you should have seen my parents" It drives me crazy, its like deja vu to hear you talk about it, cause I thought I was one in very few who felt like that! Guess not."
I think the, “if you think I was bad, you should have seen my parents” line is used quite a bit. More than anybody realises. But anyway, for fayevalentine00, hooobajube, for hrry_mione_love you guys have been to hell and back with your family and I just want to say thank you so much for sharing your stories with us even though we know how hard and how hurtful it is to talk about things like that.
Also too, if anybody out there wants to talk or share your stories with anyone that has been through things like this please go to the Harmony Podcast forum.It`s under the Harmony Podcast thread in there you`ll see it. It`s the first one in there and just look for April`s Special Podcast on child abuse, that thread.
Feel free to speak with us, write whatever you wanna write because trust me, we`re there to listen and most if not all of us understand what you`re going through. We`re there to help you as much as we can. There`s not anything we can do for you in real life unfortunately. You have to find somebody who`s in a position to get you out of that situation like a teacher or a principal or any other adult that you know that can help you out. But like I said, we`re there for you if you need a shoulder to cry on, a virtual hug, that`s about as best as we can do but we are there to listen and we are there to give you whatever advice we can. We`re not experts, I`d hate to be an expert on child abuse but we do know what you`re going through and we will try to help.
SONG REQUEST
And now for a song that was requested by hrry_mione_love and Music_is_life06. Here is Face Down by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
[SONG - "Face Down" by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus]
HHR NEWS
Hey everybody! This is Gwen from The Anvil Ezine.com bringing you this month's Harmony news.
On April 21st, an international trailer for Order of the Phoenix was shown in Japan. This trailer actually has some scenes we haven't seen before, including one where - get ready to squee - it appears Hermione is hugging Harry at Grimmauld Place. This seems to, for some fans, be giving them a reason to hope that SOME canon might actually appear in the movie. If you would like to see the trailer yourself, AOL UK will also be releasing the trailer on Sunday, April 22nd, at 2pm Greenwich Mean Time (or 9am Eastern Standard Time). In the United States, the trailer will start appearing on TV April 24th.
Speaking of OotP, Nickelodeon Magazine is giving away a chance to go to the Order of the Phoenix premiere in New York or Los Angeles. In their April Issue, there will a be card to mail in, or you can send in a postcard with your contact information. The contest ends May 1st. For further details, there will a link in the show notes. ("Win a chance to attend a WB premiere" - http://www.hpana.com/news.19829.html.)
If you're seeing Order of the Phoenix in an IMAX theatre this summer, be prepared to wear some goofy glasses. On April 19th, IMAX announced that they're transforming the last 20 minutes - presumably the scene at the Department of Mysteries - into 3-D. Along with this, a new poster for the movie has appeared, hyping this feature. If you'd like to see that, there will be a link in the show notes. Remember - as if I believe you actually forgot - OotP will be in theatres worldwide July 13th. ("Final 20 mins of 'OotP' in IMAX 3D" - http://www.hpana.com/news.19849.html.)
For North American fans of Daniel Radcliffe, rumours have appeared on the internet that he'll be joining the Broadway run of Equus in 2008. This is unconfirmed, however if you take in the London West End run ending in June, and then HBP filming starting in November, I guess it's quite possible that he might actually do so. However, nothing is confirmed yet, and I suggest keeping an eye on your favorite HP news outlets for further details.
For fans of Emma Watson - her 17th birthday was on April 15th. From everyone here at Harmony Podcast, Happy Belated Birthday! And coincidentally - Emma Thompson, who plays Hermione's favorite person, Professor Trelawney in the HP movies, also had her birthday April 15th.
On April 17th, Scholastic.com started it's campaign for Deathly Hallows, and released the first question to vote for on their website. The topic is - "Who will live, and Who will die?" Voting commences April 30th. I'll have a link for that question in the show notes. Also, as part of their campaign, Scholastic has opened a YouTube site for the latest news. To subscribe to it, I'll also have that link in the show notes. And, one last word on the campaign: Scholastic has released information on their Library Knight Bus Tour. To see if it'll come to a library near you, I'll have a link of the tour dates - repeat after me - "in the show notes". (YouTube page - http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=harrypotterbooks. Scholastic Question - http://www.scholastic.com/harrypotter/activities/shriekingshack. Library Knight Bus Tour Dates - http://www.scholastic.com/harrypotter/press041107.htm.)
And now for some community news:
EmmaWatson.net is hosting a "Shipper Music Video Contest". A winner will be chosen from each camp - H/Hr and R/Hr - and will receive a set of French stamps, which were released last month. The deadline is May 13th. To view contest details, go to EmmaWatson-Fans.com, or click our link in the show notes. (http://www.emmawatson-fans.com/home.php)
The Common Knowledge Scholarship Foundation is hosting a contest for high school and college students for The Prisoner of Azkaban movie. There will be a series of quizzes on the movie, and a winner will be selected to win an iPod. The first quiz will take place May 1st - 18th. For further details, I'll have a link in the show notes. (http://www.cksf.org/index.cfm?Page=Home&Subpage=MovieScholarship.)
A new fanfic engine has popped up, called "Spiralling Stairways", which features fanfiction with a rating of PG-13 and up. There appears to be some H/Hr fanfics, but they could definitely use more. To visit their site, go to SpiralingStairways.net/ss, or click our link in the show notes. (http://www.spiralingstairs.net/ss.)
And last, but certainly not least, The Anvil E-Zine FINALLY has a Myspace page! It's not only a new way to receive notices of when we update, but also has the exclusive column "Editor's Picks", which displays what was best in H/Hr content for that month. You can friend us at Myspace.com/theanvilezine, or see our link in the show notes. (http://www.myspace.com/theanvilezine.)
And that about does it for this month's news. This has been Gwen, and, remember kids - "When life throws you anvils - RUN FOR IT!"
BIRTHDAYS
Now it`s time for birthdays. A big Happy Birthday wish goes out to random_sis_tree, emeraldorbs, elivania, hrry_mione_love, truthespian, muddgutts, Rick Deckard and hooobajube.
Big Happy Birthday wishes to you all from everybody here at Harmony Podcast.
FAN FICTION WEBSITE FIREWHISKEY.NET
Before we get on with the rest of the podcast I wanted to tell you guys about a website. I`ve been having some problems with HPFF and posting my stories. So what I decided to do was look for a new place for my fan fiction. Yes it`s posted all on Portkey but I wanted another place, you know because a lot of other authors post their stories on various websites not just one. And last year, I think it was in October, I was lucky enough to get an email from William and he wrote me to tell me that he was opening a new website, it was for fan fiction and he invited me to post my stories on there. And it`s a great website for fan fiction. It`s called firewhiskey.net and I love their slogan, it`s `Get Pissed On Fanfiction.` And if you listened to last weeks Harmonics you heard me talk about them. They have monthly fan fiction writing contests and you don`t have to nit pick your stories or worry about oh well will they accept this or this. They take a variety of ships and their ratings go from G, PG, PG-13 to NC-17 so there`s the entire wide range of ratings as well and I guarantee that you`re going to find something that you wanna read over there. So if you get a chance go to www.firewhiskey.net and check out their site. It is just fantastic.
HARRY POTTER ABUSE BOOK QUOTES
So now onto the second part of the podcast. Like last year this being a Harry Potter related podcast as well, I`m going to read to you part of the books that Lisa, or poppywillow went through and picked the evidence that kinda supports my claim and her belief and my belief that Harry is and was abused by the Dursleys. So here are those parts now, and the first part comes from,
Philosopher`s Stone - page 19.
“Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-coloured bobble hats- but Dudley Dursley was no longer a baby and now the photographs showed a large, blond boy riding his first bicycle, on a roundabout at the fair, playing a computer game with his father, being hugged and kissed by his mother. The room held no sign at all that another boy lived in the house, too.
Yet Harry Potter was still there…”
Philosopher’s Stone page 20.
“Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but Harry has always been small and skinny for his age. He looked even smaller and skinnier than he really was because all he had to wear were old clothes of Dudley`s and Dudley was about four times bigger than he was. Harry had a thin face, knobbly knees, black hair and green-eyes. He wore round glasses held together with a lot of Sellotape because of all the times Dudley had punched him in the nose. The only thing Harry liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead which was shaped like a bolt of lightning. He had had it as long as he could remember and the first question he could ever remember asking his Aunt Petunia was how he had got it.
`In the car crash when your parents died,` she had said. `And don`t ask questions.`
Don`t ask questions was the first rule for a quiet life with the Dursleys.”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets pages 21/22.
He was bearing down on Harry like a great bulldog, all his teeth bared. `Well, I`ve got news for you, boy… I`m locking, you up… you`re never going back to that school… never… and if you try and magic yourself out - they`ll expel you!`
And laughing like a maniac, he dragged Harry back upstairs.
Uncle Vernon was as bad as his word. The following morning, he paid a man to fit bars on Harry`s window. He himself fitted the cat-flap in the bedroom door, so that small amounts of food could be pushed inside three times a day. They let Harry out to use the bathroom morning and evening. Otherwise he was locked in his room around the clock.
Three days later, the Dursleys were showing no sign of relenting and Harry couldn`t see any way out of his situation. He lay on his bed watching the sun sinking behind the bars on the window and wondered miserably what was going to happen to him.
The cat-flap rattled and Aunt Petunia`s hand appeared, pushing a bowl of tinned soup into the room. Harry, whose insides were aching with hunger, jumped off his bed and seized it. The soup was stone cold, but he drank half of it in one gulp.
Half Blood Prince - chapter 3 page 57
Dumbledore paused, and although his voice remained light and calm, and he gave no obvious sign of anger, Harry felt a kind of chill emanating from him and noticed that the Dursleys drew very slightly closer together.
`You did not do as I asked. You have never treated Harry as a son. He has known nothing but neglect and often cruelty at your hands.
So a little evidence there that Dumbledore knew what Harry was going through. So basically Harry had suffered neglect which is one of the four major forms of abuse. And some of the other parts mentioned showed the physical part of the abuse that he suffered at the hands of Dudley mostly but Dudley was encouraged by his parents to go after Harry. I had asked for you guys to share your opinions and voicemails about the parts of the books that you thought showed the abuse aspects of Harry`s life and here`s what you guys had to say.
VOICEMAILS
"Hello Misti this is ladybluestar answering your question about whether or not we think that Harry was abused. Between madscientist aka bladeandwand and I, we came up with quite a large list as to why we most certainly argue that Harry was abused by the Dursleys. To start of the gifts from the Dursleys are far worse than simply even ignoring Harry. You know for instance his Christmas gifts, they give him insulting gifts like old socks or a hanger. Things that prove to Harry that not only do they not care but they will make an effort to show how much they dislike him, how much they hate him. And at the same time they are flaunting how many gifts they give to Dudley who will throw a fit if he doesn`t get more than last year. Harry is made to cook their meals for them and especially when Dudley goes on a diet he is forced to eat less than Dudley. Also he is locked up for long periods of time and made to skip meals especially we see in Chamber of Secrets where Harry is fed through a cat flap and locked up and only allowed out twice a day. And that`s even after he`s moved into the larger room. But he is also in SS locked up in the cupboard under the stairs for prolonged periods of time. When the Dursleys take Dudley on nice trips they leave Harry with neighbour Mrs Figg who actually cares for Harry but must pretend to be awful to Harry to be sure that he is sent to her house. Dudley is bought brand new clothes and Harry is forced to wear Dudley`s cast offs. And even you know the scene where Dudley gets a brand new uniform for his private school and Harry gets Dudley`s cast offs dyed so that they are the right colour to wear to go to the public school. Harry is constantly degraded with terms like abnormal and freak. To quote, “The Dursley`s often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn`t there, or rather as though he was something very nasty that…
Misti it`s ladybluestar again my cell phone dropped the call. So to continue my speech, Vernon and Petunia also don`t protect Harry from any of Marge`s comments and she brings Harry to the point where he you know makes her blow up honestly she`s really lucky that all she did was blow up like a balloon because of the fact… and Harry shows incredible control in ignoring her for the whole week up until that last night. Vernon ignores when Dudley beats on Harry and encourages Dudley to hit Harry with the stick in SS. Petunia tries to hit him with a frying pan in Chamber of Secrets. Harry is obviously familiar with the beatings by the beginning of PoA and he knows quite well that Vernon will carry through on his threat to beat him to a pulp. Harry is locked in the small bedroom and bars are put on his window in CoS. Harry is forced to remain silent while Marge verbally abuse his parents and him. Just in beginning when all Harry`s letters are taken from him and burned. And the only reason the Dursleys move him to a bigger bedroom is because they are concerned what other people are thinking about them, it has nothing to do with Harry`s well being but simply is the public perception of them. They`ll tell lies about his past. When Harry returns from Hogwarts his things are locked away from him and he is initially forbidden to contact his friends. The only reason why he`s treated well at the beginning of CoS is because of the fact that they think that he`ll hex them. Harry makes the most interesting off hand comments, in SS he says “Look at this I`ve got some presents.” Obviously something he hasn`t gotten for a very long time. He also comments on pocket money, he hadn`t gotten it for years. So they just continue to neglect him. From CoS “Proud said Harry are you crazy, all times I could have died and I didn`t manage it, they`ll be furious.”
Ladybluestar on message number three now, in PoA it quotes, “Extremely unusual though he was at that moment Harry Potter felt just like everyone else, glad for the first time in his life that it was his birthday.” After all his… you know when he was one obviously he wouldn`t have know it but ever since he was two onwards he had to suffer with the Dursleys. They make up a lie about where Harry goes to school to cause their neighbours to avoid him and think poorly of him. In fact they think worse of Harry than they do of Dudley who is obviously the real. All the other time they are relatively nice to him besides in CoS when they`re scared of him, is…after PoA when they find out he has his godfather and you know they`re scared of what the godfather will do, Sirius Black will do to them and so then they treat Harry a bit nicer. But this does not stop the snide and derogatory remarks, forcing him to do things he doesn`t like, but they are a bit more careful. In GoF Vernon has a debate about which is worse, allowing Harry to have fun or getting rid of Harry a few weeks early. Again just showing just how much they hate him and how much you know just the fact that not only do they not like him but they go out of their way to make his life miserable. And it`s a constant theme, they don`t wanna feed him, they hate him and it`s not just the neglect it`s the fact that they go out of their way to make him miserable, to make him down trodden. To make sure that his life is the worst that it could possibly be. And honestly considering the abuse Harry has suffered, we`re as lucky as he is that he turned out so nice and I though to the rage in OotP was perfectly justified considering what he had been through. And the fact that he had never been taught how to handle his anger, how to control his emotions and that why he can`t because he grew up with the Dursleys constantly being yelled at, screamed at and he just never learned."
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"Hey Misti this is Amy or wickedelphaba And I wanted to answer you question about whether or not I thought Harry was abused by the Dursleys. I think that Harry was definitely mentally and emotionally abused by the Dursleys and that I don`t think that any sort of abuse is possible… I think that…or not possible. I think that over the last six books we`ve come to know that how they treated him and how they still do treat him is what makes Harry our Harry. And I also think that when you look at what he goes through on a regular basis every day in the magically world and compare it to what the Dursleys do, you know I think if you can get past something like Voldermort and everything else that you can get past anything. I think that Jo tries to show us that any sort of challenge is surmountable as long as you think, as long as you have support of family and friends. And at the end of the day Harry has that and I think that that`s something, that that`s a really good meassage and I think that she portrays that as best as she can and in the situations that he`s in. So [laughs] I`m rambling but um I can`t wait to hear the podcast and um and… go HHR shippers. Love you guys, bye."
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"Hi Misti this is bdrman and I wanted to call in and tell you that I believe your Harmony Podcast is really fantastic. I discovered it about three weeks ago and I was just amazed at the quality passion that goes into each episode. It was very special to me to hear things that I`ve read online about Harry/Hermione and their relationship out loud as you and your guests have expressed your feelings. I`m also a big reader of fan fiction and have greatly enjoyed reading your stories and especially your reading on the podcast of Nanny Wanted. What really blew me away was your podcast on abuse awareness and the incredible response to it. I commend you on your work of getting peoples attention about this very important issue and I look forward to your upcoming podcast this month on the subject. Lastly, I love classical music and I love your use of it in the podcast especially Barbers Adagio For Strings one of my all time favourite works. I don`t think there`s anything more angsty, if that`s a word, than the Adagio and our ship certainly has plenty of that to go around so I think your employing it in the background is very appropriate. Again thanks for all the work you have done to unite fellow Harmonians and giving them a place to support each other. And just a great place to have some fun with our beliefs. And God bless as you continue your work. Thank you."
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"Hello this is Marian or ? from portkey.org and you asked the question about what best shows how Harry has been used, abused rather, from the books. And I think the best example could be possibly from PoA which shows a little bit of the back story of Aunt Marge and obliviously this is Harry`s pre Hogwarts years and how she also contributed to his abuse. Both verbally and physically by having her dog Ripper chase him up a tree. I don`t know what is worse, being locked in the cupboard or being chased up by her dog. So that memory obviously stood out very vividly for Harry and it was very traumatic and something he`d never forget every time Aunt Marge came to visit. But I think that`s the one instance that I can think of where Harry was particularly abused and he still carried some of the abuse around with him. Which is why I don`t think he`s been able to move on emotionally to finish his task, he has to be motivated by other people. Primarily from his two best friends, well especially Hermione. And so to sum this up I think the best example of abuse I can think of is the trauma that Harry has had placed upon him by all four of the members of the Dursleys actually. And it could have either turned him into another Tom Riddle or the best thing is that it`s made him stronger actually because he`s able to turn that negative energy into something positive so… I hope to hear your podcast pretty soon. Thank you."
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"Hi Misti, it`s Meg aka hooobajube. I`m just calling to send out a big thank you for the podcast you`re doing again this year. It`s greatly appreciated by me myself and I`m pretty sure many, many others in the world. You`re great, you`re wonderful, keep doing what you`re doing um… and to everybody out there that`s listening to this and going through anything difficult just keep your head up and it will get better I promise. But you do have to do it yourself. Okay, I`m done. Happy April everybody. Bye."
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"Hello Misti and all HHR peoples out there, it`s spoonjosh here, one of the little HHR fans in the Harmony Podcast Forums. How you all doing? Big shout out to hooobajube how you doing? Anyways the question was I believe, what do we think best shows that Harry is or was abused by the Dursleys and what parts in the books shows this. Well for me obviously besides the treatment he received over the small periods he is with the Dursleys, Dudley`s rejection, Vernon`s disgust and Petunia remarkably just showing him this ugly side of her. We don`t know exactly how her and Lily got on, we assume they didn`t. But it`s obviously a family thing by uniting as a family and excluding Harry. I mean that`s one form of I believe mental abuse. As for physical well we do know that Vernon`s a bit of a physical being, he does pull Harry`s hair and throw him into the cupboard and probably throws him around. They subject him to gardening and other mundane tasks, they treat him like rubbish, they don`t give him food, they don`t give him any love. Simply the social aspect here for me is what shows, it`s horrible. Harry has had to endure a lot of abuse through and because of the Dursleys and because of this Harry in a way has turned out to be a great person because he`s been able to see through it. It happened during his younger life which admittedly is probably one of the worst periods because he grows accustomed to it. But Harry is still a fantastic being because he seen through it and he`s matured and he`s understood that he doesn`t need to accept that kind of abuse and no one should. So if we can learn anything from this in the books, we can see that Harry has pulled through simply because he wanted to. With the support of friends and believing in himself he pulled through. So for anyone who would be experiencing abuse that`s what I would recommend, go to your friends talk to them and just believe in yourself because heaps of people love you, heaps of people support you."
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"Hi Misti this is Shannon aka avidbeader. First let me say a very quick thank you for all you do in bringing the Harmony Podcast to us. It`s a wonderful part of fandom. Now in response to your question in recognition of child abuse awareness I think there`s no question that Harry suffers an abusive situation in the Dursley household. And I think one of the pivotal roles that JK Rowling shows this is in how Harry distrusts those in authority. In the first book a child raised in a more typical situation would have almost certainly gone to a teacher quickly if he learned something that seemed important to the safety of the Philosopher’s Stone. Snapes threatening conversation with Quirrel for example. Instead Harry goes to Hagrid who dismisses his fears or talks to his friends and tries to think of ways to help the situation himself. Contrast this with Hermione`s decision to go straight to McGonagall over the firebolt because she has much less reason to doubt those in authority. This refusal to seek help from others is an instinctive reaction in Harry after ten formative years of learning that he can`t rely on anyone but himself. His first response every time is to try and deal with the situation alone. Far to many of those suffering abuse believe that that they are alone, that they cannot rely on anyone else to help them out of their terrible situation. They believe that authority is going to side with the abuser. I hope that Rowling has found at least a little space in the upcoming final book to address this issue and set Harry on the road to closure when it comes to his hideous muggle family as she has dared to address the many other social and political situations in the previous books. That`s all from me for now, thanks again for all your efforts Misti."
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"Hi Misti, this is jeanniefillion I just wanted to add my two cents about whether I thought Harry was abused by the Dursleys. And I would say definitely. He was their… he`s there family and they made him do all the work, they basically ignored him. At one point Pertunia wouldn`t even look at him, she put a cat flap on his door just so she could shove food in through the door. She treated him like he was the lowest form of scum on the planet. I think the abuse was just horrendous. They refused to give him what he really needed the most, love. They went out of their way to prove that he was unwanted and a complete outcast. I think what they did to him they should have been arrested a long time ago. And you know I may be mistaken but I`m pretty sure they`re going to get what`s coming to them in Deathly Hallows. Well I just wanted to lend my support and I love your podcast. Keep up the great work and well that`s it. Bye."
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"Hey everybody this is Rick Deckard and I`m answering Misti question if Harry`s been abused. In my opinion Harry`s been both physically and mentally abused. For example he`s been beat up by Dudley and his friends, he`s been closed up in the cupboard, has few space in there and he has to work for the family. For the mental abuse he`s not being indulged as a family member, he isn`t even free to speak of his friends or wizards in general or of his school. And the Dursleys try to ignore him if they can. And he doesn`t get any love at all from them because they hate him so much. Finally he isn`t allowed any contact with other wizards or his friends and if someone is coming to visit the Dursleys he always has to act like some child going to a school for difficult children."
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Big thanks to everybody who called in and left a message for this podcast your opinions and your views are appreciated and I just love hearing what you guys think and have to say. Thank you so much again.
Well we`ve come to the end of the podcast it`s seemed to fly by for me. To tell the truth I was pretty nervous about doing this podcast because when I did last years I never expected the reaction and the response that I got to it. And the fact that I helped two people last year that I knew of and learned of even more throughout the past year that you know listened to the podcast and got help because of it. It`s kind of overwhelming, don`t get me wrong it`s absolutely wonderful that it`s helped so many people it just puts a little pressure on me to do a really great podcast this time. And Lisa`s been telling me don`t worry about it and I`ve been reassured by my Live Journal friends. I`m just the type of person I`m afraid of letting you guys down.
Hopefully you guys have enjoyed this podcast as much as last years if not more. This one kinda meant a little more to me because of all the contributions that I got from my listeners. It just kind of makes it even more special because it has you guys personal touch on it this time. It`s not just me talking. So I hope you`ve enjoyed it. I hope maybe we can help at least one person to find the courage to get the help they need to get out of an abusive situation.
I`m going to close this podcast with a very special song. When it was released on iTunes, I`m not sure if they`re still doing it or not, the band was contributing 100% of every single sold and every video downloaded of this song to charity. Hopefully they made a lot of money. But the words of this song just reverberate throughout the world. If we could everybody involved with poverty, with homelessness, just wipe out all the evil in the world this world would be a better place. And this song kinda epitomises that idea. So here it is, this is a song that I picked out it`s If Everyone Cared by Nickleback. Thank you all for listening, please let me know what you think of the show. And until the next podcast this is Misti, bye.
[SONG - If Everyone Cared by Nickleback]