The Affleck-Centered Marvelverse
Because I've shared and discussed this logic with a few people already:
Somewhere, at some point, someone determined that Casey Affleck is secretly Alex Summers. It makes perfect sense - he's the less-famous little brother who will always be in big brother's shadow, but most people think he's cooler and more talented and like to mock his brother.
Extending the logic, this obviously makes Ben Affleck Scott Summers. And, just as naturally, this makes Matt Damon Wolverine. They have a lot of sexual tension and like to make fun of each other, even though they really love each other a lot and work very well together. And also, Matt once went off and had a weird team-up with Casey, just like that Wolverine and Havok: Meltdown miniseries.
Now it gets a bit trickier. Some might be tempted to say that Jennifer Garner is Jean Grey - she has the initials, after all. But she is the second Jennifer. The replacement. The clone, so to speak. So I think that Jennifer Lopez is actually Jean. But then she got all tangled up in the Phoenix Force - Marc Anthony, of course - and Ben went off and found his Madelyne Pryor, Jennifer Garner. Then he and his second Jennifer had a child, and all seemed well.
Meanwhile, Casey found his own lady love - Summer Phoenix, a slightly crazy girl from an even crazier family. She is, obviously, Lorna Dane, with the rest of the Phoenix clan standing in for the Lensherr/Maximoff crew.
Given all of these facts, I can now make the following predictions:
1.) J-Lo will eventually extricate herself from Marc Anthony and return to Ben with no memory of the past. He will immediately leave Jennifer Garner and their child and act kind of douchey.
2.) Violet Affleck will, due to circumstances beyond anyone's control, have to be sent to the future for her own protection. She will come back as a grizzled 55-year-old woman with too many guns and pouches and a few extra last names.
3.) Ben will eventually leave J-Lo again and hook up with an ex-stripper. Because she's the only ex-stripper I can think of, we're going to say that that's Diablo Cody. You heard it here first!
4.) Since Rachel Summers has often been rumored to be the child of Jean and the Phoenix Force, rather than Jean and Scott, the twins that J-Lo just had with Marc Anthony will eventually merge and take on their mother's legacy. And be completely crazy.
I am sure of these things.
[E.T.A. Kevin Smith - secretly Professor Xavier in all of this? Ben owes it all to him, after all, and will go on even the most hopeless missions if he asks. And, you know, Matt will too, but... he never really needed Kevin to become a breakout star.]
Somewhere, at some point, someone determined that Casey Affleck is secretly Alex Summers. It makes perfect sense - he's the less-famous little brother who will always be in big brother's shadow, but most people think he's cooler and more talented and like to mock his brother.
Extending the logic, this obviously makes Ben Affleck Scott Summers. And, just as naturally, this makes Matt Damon Wolverine. They have a lot of sexual tension and like to make fun of each other, even though they really love each other a lot and work very well together. And also, Matt once went off and had a weird team-up with Casey, just like that Wolverine and Havok: Meltdown miniseries.
Now it gets a bit trickier. Some might be tempted to say that Jennifer Garner is Jean Grey - she has the initials, after all. But she is the second Jennifer. The replacement. The clone, so to speak. So I think that Jennifer Lopez is actually Jean. But then she got all tangled up in the Phoenix Force - Marc Anthony, of course - and Ben went off and found his Madelyne Pryor, Jennifer Garner. Then he and his second Jennifer had a child, and all seemed well.
Meanwhile, Casey found his own lady love - Summer Phoenix, a slightly crazy girl from an even crazier family. She is, obviously, Lorna Dane, with the rest of the Phoenix clan standing in for the Lensherr/Maximoff crew.
Given all of these facts, I can now make the following predictions:
1.) J-Lo will eventually extricate herself from Marc Anthony and return to Ben with no memory of the past. He will immediately leave Jennifer Garner and their child and act kind of douchey.
2.) Violet Affleck will, due to circumstances beyond anyone's control, have to be sent to the future for her own protection. She will come back as a grizzled 55-year-old woman with too many guns and pouches and a few extra last names.
3.) Ben will eventually leave J-Lo again and hook up with an ex-stripper. Because she's the only ex-stripper I can think of, we're going to say that that's Diablo Cody. You heard it here first!
4.) Since Rachel Summers has often been rumored to be the child of Jean and the Phoenix Force, rather than Jean and Scott, the twins that J-Lo just had with Marc Anthony will eventually merge and take on their mother's legacy. And be completely crazy.
I am sure of these things.
[E.T.A. Kevin Smith - secretly Professor Xavier in all of this? Ben owes it all to him, after all, and will go on even the most hopeless missions if he asks. And, you know, Matt will too, but... he never really needed Kevin to become a breakout star.]