Second Chances
Second Chances
Rose sat with her back against the padded tapestry headboard that the TARDIS had designed for her those many months ago and frowned at the stationary in front of her. It was hard letting Mickey go. She knew it had been the right thing to do but it still hurt a little that she had been so easily replaced. She also knew she was being selfish in that respect but it stung nonetheless. He’d been right though; she had expected him to wait for her and that had been completely unfair of her. Because of that she was determined to write him a sorry note. It was something they’d done since childhood when one had hurt the other. A letter would appear at her door after he’d embarrassed her over something or she would write him a note on stationery from her Gran when she’d said something stupid to him or hurt his feelings. The next time they saw each other, a smile was all it took to make rest of the anger or hurt go away. Rose knew that she and Mickey would always be mates but it was time to go back to being simply that. And she hoped that he would forgive her this time. She’d give the letter enough time to be delivered and then ask the Doctor to pop by so she could see him again. It would be nice to see Mickey’s smile again.
Playing with the note until she was happy with it, she put it in an envelope and addressed it. The Doctor would see it delivered. She’d scoffed at him the first time he mentioned the Universal Post but they’d never lost a package or letter delivered back to her family.
Thinking of the Doctor, she frowned again, wishing that she knew exactly what their relationship was. Despite the fact that he was an alien and old enough to be several generations of greats to her nineteen years, he was still a bloke and had emotions just the same as her. She knew he cared for her, knew that there was a spark between them, but whenever they seemed to be getting closer, he would immediately back off. It was confusing and worrying to Rose because if there was one thing that she did know for certain in this crazy life of hers it was that she loved him without reservations. Even knowing who and what he was and all the faults and baggage that came with him, she still loved him. And sometimes that frightened her.
A soft knock on her door pulled her from her musings and she grabbed a nearby dressing gown, threw it over the knickers and t-shirt she was currently wearing and padded to the door.
The Doctor smiled at her. “Been in your room for a while now, so I thought I’d check in.” His eyes traveled down her briefly and then shot back up to hers. “You all right? Not feeling any ill effects from the heart of the TARDIS?”
Rose, stepped back and let him enter, feeling her heart flutter as it usually did when he was close to her. “No, I‘m fine.” She cocked her head, curious. “But you checked both Jack and me out right after we dropped Blon off at the nursery.” Rose smoothed her hand over her neck where the Doctor had treated multiple deep bruises and was once again thankful for the advanced tools in his infirmary.
The Doctor scratched that back of his neck. “Well, yeah but the heart of the TARDIS is never really predictable and immensely powerful. She’d never hurt you intentionally but...“ He motioned to her bed as he pulled out his sonic screwdriver. “Let me check you out one more time just to make sure everything’s tip top.”
Rose scooted up the bed until she once again rested against the headboard and let him scan her. She fought down a blush as he reached over her head to start the scan. He was intent on whatever readings he was getting and didn’t look up until he’d brought the instrument back up to her head. When his intense blue eyes focused on hers again, they were inches from each other. His eyes lowered to her lips briefly and this time she could feel her cheeks heating with a blush.
He pulled back abruptly and cleared his throat. “Well, everything looks good.” He paused, and she could swear that she saw him blush himself momentarily. “I mean, the readings look good,” he added hastily. “No stray time radiation to speak of.”
He paused again and Rose could practically hear that huge brain of his whirring. “Rose,” he said softly. “What did you mean about second chances?”
She scrunched down on the headboard and bit her lip. She hadn’t been expecting that and didn’t even realize that he’d heard her in the control room when she’d said that. She took a breath, feeling embarrassed. “I was selfish and mean to Mickey,” she confessed. “I should have sat down with him and asked him if we could just go back to being mates when he met us in Cardiff but I didn’t.” She shrugged, “Instead, I pretended that everything was exactly as if I hadn’t run off on him.”
The Doctor motioned for her to budge up and he sat next to her against the headboard. “Why did you do that then?”
Rose shrugged again, embarrassed. “Dunno,” she replied softly. “I did miss him and want to see him, but…”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “But?”
She felt her cheeks burn but looked right at him, feeling a bit reckless. Maybe it was time to lay her cards on the table. “I was lonely.”
He looked surprised. “Jack and I are always around to keep you company. How exactly are you lonely?” he asked with a slightly exasperated tone.
Gathering her courage, she kept eye contact. “I meant physically.” She paused, trying to decide exactly phrase her next words. “I’m human, yeah? You point that out all the time but we humans crave contact and affection and…”
“And sex,” he finished bluntly.
Rose shifted against the headboard and ducked her head. “But it’s more than that, Doctor.” She peeked up at him to see him watching her with an odd expression. “It’s being close to another person, being intimate not just for sex but because you want to be with them, touch them.” She sighed sadly, “knowing that they want the same thing with you.”
“So that’s what you want with Mr. Mickey?” he asked softly.
“No, didn’t work out with me and Mickey. We were always much better friends than lovers. Besides…“ She felt her cheeks heat again but looked directly at him. “’It’s not Mickey that I ran to.”
The Doctor looked away from her and swallowed. “Jack?” he asked in a light tone.
“You, Doctor,” she said breathlessly, buoyed by the fact that he hadn’t leapt from the bed yet. “I ran to you.”
He sat up abruptly and sat with his back to her. “You’re very young, Rose. Young and human and…” he turned to her and his brilliant blue eyes were shuttered and guarded.
Rose felt her bravado slip away as humiliation took its place. They were going in circles again after all. Only this time she knew it was because he didn’t want her. “And a stupid ape,” she finished for him.
She scooted around him and got off the bed. Her movements were stiff with hurt as she started for the door. “I get it, Doctor.” She opened her door and plastered a fake smile on her face, not able to look directly at him. “Thanks for coming by to check up on me. Let me get dressed and we can be off to our next adventure.”
The silence was deafening. She saw him stand up from the corner of her eye and he slowly walked towards her, stopping directly in front of her. “Rose,” he said in a firm tone.
She cut him off. “It’s okay, Doctor, really.” She brightened her smile another notch. “Guess I’m just knackered from all the running.” She said, still not quite meeting his gaze.
The doorknob slipped from her fingers as he pushed the door closed once again. A long finger traced her throat and nudged her head up until she met his gaze and she drew in a quick breath as his head dipped towards hers. His lips settled over hers and her eyes fluttered shut as her heart went into overdrive. He tugged her lower lip with his in a playful invitation and that was all it took for her to wrap her arms around him and kiss him back. He kept it gentle and sweet and her head and body were reeling with desire and joy. Amazed that he’d made this move and happier than she could ever remember being.
He broke the kiss and pressed his lips to her temple. “You’re not a stupid ape, Rose.” He said softly, a touch of regret in his voice. He cradled her face in his hands. “And I’m glad that it was me that you ran to.” He bent his head and brushed his lips over hers. “And you are young and I’m over nine hundred years old.”
She started to protest but he shook his head at her. “Rose, that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be close to you. He paused, “to be intimate with you,” he said in a low voice that made shivers course up and down her. “But it’s been a long time since I’ve been in that kind of relationship and you’re going to have to give me time.” He kissed her forehead, “be patient with me, yeah?”
Hope blossomed in her breast and she felt giddy. “But you really want -” she motioned vaguely, feeling ridiculously shy all of a sudden.
“You, Rose.” He smiled at her, “that okay?”
“Oh, yeah,” she breathed and then ducked her head and fought not to giggle at her obviousness.
“Yeah?” He asked in a cocky tone.
She looked back up at him and grinned with her tongue caught between her teeth. She saw his eyes dart against her mouth and felt like dancing. “Yeah,” she replied firmly.
He bent his head and this time she met him half way. Her arms went around his neck as she stood on tip toe and savored the feel of his lips against hers, nipping and tugging until she was dizzy. He traced a path of kisses to her temple and seemed to breathe her in. “Slowly?” his tone was almost hesitant.
She pulled back and smiled brilliantly at him. “Sounds perfect. Especially since you’re never getting rid of me!”
He laughed and it reminded her of the time that everybody had lived in its joyousness. “Well I guess we’ll be doing this proper then.” He looked down at her dressing gown. “Go put something on and I’ll take you out to dinner on the Game Station.”
Rose blinked at him, confused. “We’re going back to Satellite Five?”
He nodded, “thought it would be a good idea to make sure they’re still on track after that business with the Jagrafess.” He cocked his head at her. “I remember a place that made a mean curry on floor ten. You game?”
She smiled at him, went up on tip toe and bussed him on the lips, giddy that she could. “Sounds like a plan.”
The Doctor returned her smile, tenderly brushed a stray lock of hair off her forehead and headed for the door. “I’ll go round up Jack and we can be off.”
He was out the door before she knew it and raced to it and poked her head out. “Slowly but forward, yeah?” she called out.
He turned and gave her a slow smile that made her curl her toes into the carpet of her room. “Forward, Rose,” he said in a soft but firm voice that had her grinning like a loon.
“Forward,” she confirmed and closed the door as he turned away. Rose slid down the door and hugged herself with happiness. It was a start - a good start, and they had plenty of time in front of them to get it right. She picked herself up off the floor and went to her wardrobe. Pulling out her new red hoodie that he’d said looked nice on her during their last shopping trip, she wandered into the bathroom and began to get ready for her next great adventure.