spam
I just got the most fun spam I've ever received! This one wasn't just a couple of nonsense words but a whole story. The subject line (or title, as I prefer to call it) was "Annexation." Here's the text:
It screamed for help where there was nohelp, and then it drew its sword. There was a layer of dust on the mans face and body. Perhaps the ulsios of Horz have learned to laugh, I suggested with asmile. The Panars threw my wounded overboard with the dead, not evenvouchsafing them the coup de grace. The knowledge and the arts of the ancients arebeyond the ken of modern man, he said. I have never seen anything more beautiful. He looked at me andthen at the grinning head upon the floor, and he commenced to weaken. There is a nation of red menoccupying a considerable area, but at some distance from Okar. He was a man of high honor and a courageous fighter. The other shook his head in evident bewilderment. It is in my book, but whatdifference does it make? It is, I said, consulting my chronometer. I am sorry, he said, butyou are going back to meet your fate with me. It is in my book, but whatdifference does it make? What John Carter, Prince of Helium,Warlord of Barsoom, commands me to do, I do, he said. His eyes were wide andround, the whites showing entirely around the irises. The daughter of Gahan of Gathol will choose her own mate. You will tell us whatis wrong, he growled, Or Ill split you open from your crown to yourbelly. Even thatcalendar is a thing of the dead past. I shall,therefore, have to destroy myself. He left the day before Iset out, and I did not change my plans because of his going. In my right hand I held the long-sword of that long dead Orovaran fromwhose body I had filched it. What has all that to do with your being in the pits of Horz? Fly north by this, but first let me see what other harm has beendone. I saw it, he said, and his voice was troubled. How then could he have survived all these ages? Awarrior may lay his sword at the feet of a man or a woman. There were lots ofthings that those old fellows knew that are lost arts today. Soon you will be asleep,whispered the old man of the pits. The same blood flows in your veins andhers. This was more surprising than my firstancestor would have been, for the girl was Llana of Gathol! You, too, are covered with dust, he said to Kam HanTor. Kam Han Tor laid a hand upon the hilt of his longsword. These incursions occurred atintervals, and none of those who entered the pits ever returned.
It screamed for help where there was nohelp, and then it drew its sword. There was a layer of dust on the mans face and body. Perhaps the ulsios of Horz have learned to laugh, I suggested with asmile. The Panars threw my wounded overboard with the dead, not evenvouchsafing them the coup de grace. The knowledge and the arts of the ancients arebeyond the ken of modern man, he said. I have never seen anything more beautiful. He looked at me andthen at the grinning head upon the floor, and he commenced to weaken. There is a nation of red menoccupying a considerable area, but at some distance from Okar. He was a man of high honor and a courageous fighter. The other shook his head in evident bewilderment. It is in my book, but whatdifference does it make? It is, I said, consulting my chronometer. I am sorry, he said, butyou are going back to meet your fate with me. It is in my book, but whatdifference does it make? What John Carter, Prince of Helium,Warlord of Barsoom, commands me to do, I do, he said. His eyes were wide andround, the whites showing entirely around the irises. The daughter of Gahan of Gathol will choose her own mate. You will tell us whatis wrong, he growled, Or Ill split you open from your crown to yourbelly. Even thatcalendar is a thing of the dead past. I shall,therefore, have to destroy myself. He left the day before Iset out, and I did not change my plans because of his going. In my right hand I held the long-sword of that long dead Orovaran fromwhose body I had filched it. What has all that to do with your being in the pits of Horz? Fly north by this, but first let me see what other harm has beendone. I saw it, he said, and his voice was troubled. How then could he have survived all these ages? Awarrior may lay his sword at the feet of a man or a woman. There were lots ofthings that those old fellows knew that are lost arts today. Soon you will be asleep,whispered the old man of the pits. The same blood flows in your veins andhers. This was more surprising than my firstancestor would have been, for the girl was Llana of Gathol! You, too, are covered with dust, he said to Kam HanTor. Kam Han Tor laid a hand upon the hilt of his longsword. These incursions occurred atintervals, and none of those who entered the pits ever returned.