Tonight, I held you by my tainted hands
// ficlet
2,931 words | PG
He mourns day and night - he can’t love.
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grave
The more I get of you, the stranger it feels, yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the grave
A kiss from a rose // Aki Angela
JULY 20th, 20XX
19:00
Ji Yong
It’s raining again.
It was raining the last time this happened, too.
My head snapped up as I heard a sharp rap on the ironically pure-white door. My bed sheets were white, too. In fact, my whole room had not a speck of color. Of course, it was for the benefit of my father’s…clients.
When they…take what they pay for, it generally leaves a mess. A bloody, hot, wet, mess. And the white sheets make it so much more visible.
They’re proof that the deal is sealed.
I stood up and smoothed out my clothes. It was time.
---
“Hello, Ji Yong. This is Mr. Kim. He’ll be your company for the night.”
And with that, my father left the room.
The man wasted no time getting to work. He pinned me to the door and crushed his lips against mine. I let him slip his tongue in my mouth, exploring the hot cavern. He intertwined his muscle with mine and I played along, responding back to his advances eagerly.
After all, he was my master for the night.
His hand slipped under my shirt, ghosting over my chest to stop at my nipple. I bit my lip, holding back a moan. Damn those stupid teenage hormones. It was disgusting, but I couldn’t stop my body from reacting.
“Nng…”
He released my lips, and then pushed me to the bed, roughly ridding my body of my clothes. He flipped me over and took off his tie. In one swift movement, my hands were tied to the headboard and he was spreading my legs.
I bit my lip again, this time to hold back tears. As he thrust into me, I tried to dull the familiar pain and bite back those bitter tears.
“Scream,” he hissed into my ear.
“N-No…” My father would be outraged if I didn’t provide top-quality “service” to his clients-but I couldn’t risk the staff hearing.
“Do it, you little shit!” He grabbed my length and started pumping it. “Don’t act like you’re not enjoying it.”
“N-No…”
And the next thing I knew, he was thrusting in faster and harder than before. I could feel the blood trickling down my thighs, but I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to endure it as best I could.
---
I woke up, naked, on top of my mattress. My father’s client had long left, taking away the bed sheets and covers as proof of his sinful transaction.
I closed my eyes again and let out a long sigh.
---
My father had called me into his office. I wondered what I did wrong. Father never spoke to me unless he was introducing a client or scolding me.
When I stepped through the polished oak doors, I was met with the back of my father’s chair.
“What happened last night?” he asked.
I didn’t know how to answer his question.
“Tell me everything that happened last night,” he ordered.
“W-What?” I stammered.
He whirled around and slammed his fist on the desk, startling me. I took a step back before I realized I was cowering-something you should never do in front of Father.
“You piece of shit! Because of that, I lost a good customer! Haven’t I told you to do everything the client wants?”
“But Father-“
“Shut up! You goddamned idiot! I can’t believe I wasn’t stupid enough not to disown you when you were born!”
No… Please stop saying that…
I started to shake-with anger, with fear, with sadness. I couldn’t remember what happened next, because when I finally regained my senses, the man I used to call “Father” was lying motionless on the white carpet, eyes blank and staring into nothingness. Blood was starting to stain the white carpet around his head.
I screamed, turned around, and ran.
JULY 20th, 20XX
19:00
Seung Hyun
My back was against the door as I let a tear escape. I bit my lower lip to stop the sob from coming out. The employee was rather demanding yesterday.
Frozen to my feet, I feel useless and stupid to be standing where I am now.
The temptation to rip the door open and kill that bastard is hard to comply. But I am simply a servant of the Kwon household. What more can I do then just let it be?
I love him.
Everything about him makes me lose my mind. The way he smiles makes me fall deeper into the abyss every time, but I always climb back to experience it again. He is addictive. Like a drug but something even better.
When we have light conversation, I want to pull him close and make him stay a bit longer; just a bit longer to save him from all the despair.
My heart aches when I hear the soft crying of the fragile boy behind the wooden frame of the door. He is stronger that anyone I have met, but how much longer can I hold back?
Damn it.
“Seung Hyun! What are you doing here? Move aside and get back to work!” shouts the master as he pushes me aside to get to the door. When he shuts the door behind me, a single tear escapes me eyes and falls to the cold ground.
Damn it.
I drop to my knees and fell the wet liquid pouring down as I hear his protests and screams.
Damn it.
I want to break the door open and cradle him in my arms, but an invisible force tugs me back. No matter how much I pull, there is that unknown resistance that stops me from going any further.
But just as I was about to head in the other direction, the door opens and I see blood all over him.
JULY 20th, 20XX
19:45
Ji Yong
I see him.
I keep looking back frantically, back at the body I used to call "Father". Neither of us speaks a word and I can almost hear the waves close by lapping against the beach floor - like a familiar tune I recall. But then I hear this unsteady rhythm that matches my heart. Like a broken waltz that has no melody. Like a song made up of anxiety and fear and everything in between.
I don’t want any of this to end but time can be a traitor at times. I hear footsteps upstairs coming closer each second I count. The sweat hanging down from my forehead finally drops as I look down on the floor, breaking whatever heavy connection we had a moment back.
My feet feel numb so I can’t make a run for it.
Fuck.
Nervously, I try to catch a glimpse of him for just a second. But instead I feel long fingers intertwining with mine. Before I know it, I am being led by him as we run out the big door into the cold gravel outside.
I am too stunned to pull back but it feels too comfortable so I play along like this is something we’ve always done.
Seung Hyun, was it? The boy that came in after Mother died from that car accident. I hadn’t noticed him so much to care but right now, I feel like I should’ve. Not because I am running hand in hand with a person I don’t even know, but more like it feels important.
As we pass the long metal gates close to the rose bushes, I hear the soft murmur of guards nearby. Even though we haven’t spoken since, I stay quiet. It was obvious that my heart had been pounding against my chest, but it was all for the wrong reason.
His hands tighten when we crouch down and try to blend in with the plants and trees. I feel this rush of excitement overpowering my mind as we slowly walk beside the gate into the little hole up ahead.
“Stay still and don’t move,” he utters and I try hard not to fall right there. It’s slightly frustrating yet completely mesmerizing - his voice.
I find myself forgetting everything this night at this point.
Fuck. This is bad.
JULY 20th, 20XX
19:50
Seung Hyun
I grab his hands and make a run for it. But the sudden contact jolts my heart and there is this icy feeling crawling up my neck. I can’t explain but it feels damn good. Every step gives me a rush of excitement because of his warm hand that I am holding right now.
I can hear his heart thumping loudly but soon it matches with mine and I think we are together on this.
Together. The words seems so foreign, I think I’ve forgotten its meaning. So I hesitate at my assumption and bite my lip. But we’re still running and I could see the gate up head. Carefully, I lead him to the dark bushes and crouch down - he follows.
“Stay still and don’t move,” I say as I look him in the eyes. But just for that moment, I think time has stopped to let me gaze at his daring face. The amount of fear had totally disappeared but rather something much more brave and strong.
Our faces are so close, but I move quickly to other side in hopes that the hole is still there. I had found out that there was a small opening in the gate that was covered by rose bushes a few years back. I have used it countless times to escape but this time I need it more than ever.
Sure enough, it’s there. Rusty and worn - the roses still vivid with its sharp thorn.
I signal him to come so he scurries quickly to me.
“You go first. Be careful of the thorns,” I mutter, looking off to see anyone coming our way.
“Why?” he whispers before disappearing in the beautiful patch, but I pretend not to hear - my heart aches. One day, I'll have to say those three precious words. It's inevitable.
Yes, one day. Not right now, it’s not time.
JULY 20th, 20XX
20:00
Ji Yong
I flinch when I feel a sharp thorn digging through my skin. The blood that trickled down seems to stop half way because then I see him leaning in to lick the wounded surface. As the wet tongue places itself, my throat is dry and my stomach flips. It’s a different feeling - I don’t like it so I pull away and look elsewhere, refusing to see his face.
But I am surprised that he takes my hand and pulls me up. I widen my eyes at the dark haired boy standing before me but I’m pulled again, this time to his body. He instantly wraps his warm arms around my structure and holds me close.
I am stunned at his courage but at the same time I find myself wanting more; more of this obscure feeling at the pit of my heart. Like a butterfly fluttering inside lightly.
It’s too good to be true - like a fairy tale that had just started.
So I too, hug him back, placing my hands against his shoulders gently and letting our bodies stick close. I am overwhelmed by the warmth of his presence so I feel faint. It’s all hazy and unclear in my mind so I feel this wet substance gathering against the bottom of my eyes.
This is not right.
As if out of some kind of conscience, I pulled back harshly and look to the ground. I've been trained not to feel anything--it's the only way someone like me can endure the painful nights my line of work calls for. So the simple fact that this man--a mere servant--can instill such feelings in me makes me feel wary. He's dangerous.
“The name's Seung Hyun, by the way,” he says as he walked ahead awkwardly.
“Ji Yong.” I hesitate before replying my name - I am right behind him.
“There’s a train station up ahead. I think the train’s about to leave. Let’s get on one of the trailers." Seung Hyun utters.
JULY 20th, 20XX
20:30
Seung Hyun
My heart is still beating fast from a moment back and I can still feel his touch against me. It’s strange that even without my conscience I had pulled him to en embrace. It surprised me more, I think; but it was worth it.
While walking to the train station up ahead, I couldn’t help but let out a small smile of content. Everything inside was a mess and I felt all glittery - like some kind of high school girl with a crush.
I chuckled quietly and looked back to him.
“We’ll go through the back. I think they finished loading all the luggage,” I manage to say through a crooked smile. The tension back then seems to ease up, so I grabbed his hands and started to run again.
We were flying and somehow through all the darkness, there was a light shining brightly behind me.
I think I’m in love.
Upon approaching the rusty open gate of the luggage carriage, we got on - I’m still holding on to his hand. So I pull him close again as the train awakes for its long journey.
I love you.
I want to say but I let go and just lean against the metal walls - to stare at his undefined beauty.
So I think back to the time I first saw him. Yes, it was a Saturday on a spring day when I arrived with my father to work for the Kwon household.
Clutching to my father’s large hands, I nervously enter the great mansion with the tall steel gate. He told me he worked and now it’s my time to serve the owners as well. My father mentioned that there was a boy my age and that I would be able to play with him, so I was excited as we entered the big house.
I was at awe when I saw the beautiful chandeliers and painting pieces magnificently placed among the room. In the middle there was a deep wood stair case, cascading down gracefully.
“Ah, Choi, you made it!” called a man from the side, but then my attention went to the boy standing near him.
He appeared to be a year or two smaller than me with pale skin and light blonde hair. Wearing what seemed like a school uniform, he stood behind the man. But then suddenly coming forth, he offered a hand and a mesmerizing smile.
I fell in love right at that moment.
JULY 20th, 20XX
21:00
Ji Yong
The rush of cold air hits my skin as I close my eyes and lean against the metal door. I can feel him staring at me - those deep, dark eyes piercing through my soul. So I ask, “Why did you save me?”.
“I don’t know - ”
“There has to be some kind of reason. This is no game, Seung Hyun. You can’t - ” I charge back, now facing him straight ahead.
“I love you,” he utters through a veil of shame. So I stop to repeat the words he had said again in my head. I drop to the ground, just thinking it makes me shudder. This is not right. This is why he's dangerous.
“No you don’t,” I mutter back, turning away to face the luggage behind us.
It’s scary.
"Why don't you believe me?" he demanded, face stricken.
"You can't love someone you don't know." I smiled wryly. "It's lust, Seung Hyun."
"But I do love you! I've loved you since the day we met!" He moved closer to me, wrapping his arms around my small frame. My heart started beating faster again, which made me scared. "I love you, Ji Yong. It's okay if you don't love me back, just let me be with you."
Those words are lies.
I push him away, but he grabs my arm and pulls me close again. He tilts my chin up before kissing me--gently. It was different from what all those men did in my bedroom. It was different, and I liked it.
No.
I can't let this happen. A person like me only exists so others can use me as they wish. All those feelings that I'd locked deep down inside me were coming back out again, and I didn't like it at all. I frantically reach into my back pocket, looking for that shiny piece of metal.
Found it.
Without a moment's hesitation, I plunge the knife deep into his abdomen. He pulls back, startled. The expression on his face was priceless. And I was that Ji Yong again. The one with no feelings. I moved forward and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips before plunging the knife into his body again--this time, in his heart.
He gasps...once, twice... And then he stops, falling to the ground.
I place his head on my lap and look out at the dark night. I let out a chuckle and closed his eyes.
“Sorry, Seung Hyun," I whispered. "I can’t love.”
I’m soaked into the loneliness that I can’t see an end to
Like a child that’s lost their way john tesh it down mini cooper
It’s sadder that my only sin is loving you
I tore all the smiles you showed me
I grinded all your love inside my heart
I love you
She's gone // G-Dragon
A/N: I don't know what's gotten to me but I seem to really like angst so I hope you'll like this one. Since I'm on my summer break right now, I have time to think and write, but this one was inspired by an anime I watched a while back called "Betrayal Knows my name", it's a good watch, I reccommend it ^^
2,931 words | PG
He mourns day and night - he can’t love.
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grave
The more I get of you, the stranger it feels, yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the grave
A kiss from a rose // Aki Angela
JULY 20th, 20XX
19:00
Ji Yong
It’s raining again.
It was raining the last time this happened, too.
My head snapped up as I heard a sharp rap on the ironically pure-white door. My bed sheets were white, too. In fact, my whole room had not a speck of color. Of course, it was for the benefit of my father’s…clients.
When they…take what they pay for, it generally leaves a mess. A bloody, hot, wet, mess. And the white sheets make it so much more visible.
They’re proof that the deal is sealed.
I stood up and smoothed out my clothes. It was time.
---
“Hello, Ji Yong. This is Mr. Kim. He’ll be your company for the night.”
And with that, my father left the room.
The man wasted no time getting to work. He pinned me to the door and crushed his lips against mine. I let him slip his tongue in my mouth, exploring the hot cavern. He intertwined his muscle with mine and I played along, responding back to his advances eagerly.
After all, he was my master for the night.
His hand slipped under my shirt, ghosting over my chest to stop at my nipple. I bit my lip, holding back a moan. Damn those stupid teenage hormones. It was disgusting, but I couldn’t stop my body from reacting.
“Nng…”
He released my lips, and then pushed me to the bed, roughly ridding my body of my clothes. He flipped me over and took off his tie. In one swift movement, my hands were tied to the headboard and he was spreading my legs.
I bit my lip again, this time to hold back tears. As he thrust into me, I tried to dull the familiar pain and bite back those bitter tears.
“Scream,” he hissed into my ear.
“N-No…” My father would be outraged if I didn’t provide top-quality “service” to his clients-but I couldn’t risk the staff hearing.
“Do it, you little shit!” He grabbed my length and started pumping it. “Don’t act like you’re not enjoying it.”
“N-No…”
And the next thing I knew, he was thrusting in faster and harder than before. I could feel the blood trickling down my thighs, but I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to endure it as best I could.
---
I woke up, naked, on top of my mattress. My father’s client had long left, taking away the bed sheets and covers as proof of his sinful transaction.
I closed my eyes again and let out a long sigh.
---
My father had called me into his office. I wondered what I did wrong. Father never spoke to me unless he was introducing a client or scolding me.
When I stepped through the polished oak doors, I was met with the back of my father’s chair.
“What happened last night?” he asked.
I didn’t know how to answer his question.
“Tell me everything that happened last night,” he ordered.
“W-What?” I stammered.
He whirled around and slammed his fist on the desk, startling me. I took a step back before I realized I was cowering-something you should never do in front of Father.
“You piece of shit! Because of that, I lost a good customer! Haven’t I told you to do everything the client wants?”
“But Father-“
“Shut up! You goddamned idiot! I can’t believe I wasn’t stupid enough not to disown you when you were born!”
No… Please stop saying that…
I started to shake-with anger, with fear, with sadness. I couldn’t remember what happened next, because when I finally regained my senses, the man I used to call “Father” was lying motionless on the white carpet, eyes blank and staring into nothingness. Blood was starting to stain the white carpet around his head.
I screamed, turned around, and ran.
JULY 20th, 20XX
19:00
Seung Hyun
My back was against the door as I let a tear escape. I bit my lower lip to stop the sob from coming out. The employee was rather demanding yesterday.
Frozen to my feet, I feel useless and stupid to be standing where I am now.
The temptation to rip the door open and kill that bastard is hard to comply. But I am simply a servant of the Kwon household. What more can I do then just let it be?
I love him.
Everything about him makes me lose my mind. The way he smiles makes me fall deeper into the abyss every time, but I always climb back to experience it again. He is addictive. Like a drug but something even better.
When we have light conversation, I want to pull him close and make him stay a bit longer; just a bit longer to save him from all the despair.
My heart aches when I hear the soft crying of the fragile boy behind the wooden frame of the door. He is stronger that anyone I have met, but how much longer can I hold back?
Damn it.
“Seung Hyun! What are you doing here? Move aside and get back to work!” shouts the master as he pushes me aside to get to the door. When he shuts the door behind me, a single tear escapes me eyes and falls to the cold ground.
Damn it.
I drop to my knees and fell the wet liquid pouring down as I hear his protests and screams.
Damn it.
I want to break the door open and cradle him in my arms, but an invisible force tugs me back. No matter how much I pull, there is that unknown resistance that stops me from going any further.
But just as I was about to head in the other direction, the door opens and I see blood all over him.
JULY 20th, 20XX
19:45
Ji Yong
I see him.
I keep looking back frantically, back at the body I used to call "Father". Neither of us speaks a word and I can almost hear the waves close by lapping against the beach floor - like a familiar tune I recall. But then I hear this unsteady rhythm that matches my heart. Like a broken waltz that has no melody. Like a song made up of anxiety and fear and everything in between.
I don’t want any of this to end but time can be a traitor at times. I hear footsteps upstairs coming closer each second I count. The sweat hanging down from my forehead finally drops as I look down on the floor, breaking whatever heavy connection we had a moment back.
My feet feel numb so I can’t make a run for it.
Fuck.
Nervously, I try to catch a glimpse of him for just a second. But instead I feel long fingers intertwining with mine. Before I know it, I am being led by him as we run out the big door into the cold gravel outside.
I am too stunned to pull back but it feels too comfortable so I play along like this is something we’ve always done.
Seung Hyun, was it? The boy that came in after Mother died from that car accident. I hadn’t noticed him so much to care but right now, I feel like I should’ve. Not because I am running hand in hand with a person I don’t even know, but more like it feels important.
As we pass the long metal gates close to the rose bushes, I hear the soft murmur of guards nearby. Even though we haven’t spoken since, I stay quiet. It was obvious that my heart had been pounding against my chest, but it was all for the wrong reason.
His hands tighten when we crouch down and try to blend in with the plants and trees. I feel this rush of excitement overpowering my mind as we slowly walk beside the gate into the little hole up ahead.
“Stay still and don’t move,” he utters and I try hard not to fall right there. It’s slightly frustrating yet completely mesmerizing - his voice.
I find myself forgetting everything this night at this point.
Fuck. This is bad.
JULY 20th, 20XX
19:50
Seung Hyun
I grab his hands and make a run for it. But the sudden contact jolts my heart and there is this icy feeling crawling up my neck. I can’t explain but it feels damn good. Every step gives me a rush of excitement because of his warm hand that I am holding right now.
I can hear his heart thumping loudly but soon it matches with mine and I think we are together on this.
Together. The words seems so foreign, I think I’ve forgotten its meaning. So I hesitate at my assumption and bite my lip. But we’re still running and I could see the gate up head. Carefully, I lead him to the dark bushes and crouch down - he follows.
“Stay still and don’t move,” I say as I look him in the eyes. But just for that moment, I think time has stopped to let me gaze at his daring face. The amount of fear had totally disappeared but rather something much more brave and strong.
Our faces are so close, but I move quickly to other side in hopes that the hole is still there. I had found out that there was a small opening in the gate that was covered by rose bushes a few years back. I have used it countless times to escape but this time I need it more than ever.
Sure enough, it’s there. Rusty and worn - the roses still vivid with its sharp thorn.
I signal him to come so he scurries quickly to me.
“You go first. Be careful of the thorns,” I mutter, looking off to see anyone coming our way.
“Why?” he whispers before disappearing in the beautiful patch, but I pretend not to hear - my heart aches. One day, I'll have to say those three precious words. It's inevitable.
Yes, one day. Not right now, it’s not time.
JULY 20th, 20XX
20:00
Ji Yong
I flinch when I feel a sharp thorn digging through my skin. The blood that trickled down seems to stop half way because then I see him leaning in to lick the wounded surface. As the wet tongue places itself, my throat is dry and my stomach flips. It’s a different feeling - I don’t like it so I pull away and look elsewhere, refusing to see his face.
But I am surprised that he takes my hand and pulls me up. I widen my eyes at the dark haired boy standing before me but I’m pulled again, this time to his body. He instantly wraps his warm arms around my structure and holds me close.
I am stunned at his courage but at the same time I find myself wanting more; more of this obscure feeling at the pit of my heart. Like a butterfly fluttering inside lightly.
It’s too good to be true - like a fairy tale that had just started.
So I too, hug him back, placing my hands against his shoulders gently and letting our bodies stick close. I am overwhelmed by the warmth of his presence so I feel faint. It’s all hazy and unclear in my mind so I feel this wet substance gathering against the bottom of my eyes.
This is not right.
As if out of some kind of conscience, I pulled back harshly and look to the ground. I've been trained not to feel anything--it's the only way someone like me can endure the painful nights my line of work calls for. So the simple fact that this man--a mere servant--can instill such feelings in me makes me feel wary. He's dangerous.
“The name's Seung Hyun, by the way,” he says as he walked ahead awkwardly.
“Ji Yong.” I hesitate before replying my name - I am right behind him.
“There’s a train station up ahead. I think the train’s about to leave. Let’s get on one of the trailers." Seung Hyun utters.
JULY 20th, 20XX
20:30
Seung Hyun
My heart is still beating fast from a moment back and I can still feel his touch against me. It’s strange that even without my conscience I had pulled him to en embrace. It surprised me more, I think; but it was worth it.
While walking to the train station up ahead, I couldn’t help but let out a small smile of content. Everything inside was a mess and I felt all glittery - like some kind of high school girl with a crush.
I chuckled quietly and looked back to him.
“We’ll go through the back. I think they finished loading all the luggage,” I manage to say through a crooked smile. The tension back then seems to ease up, so I grabbed his hands and started to run again.
We were flying and somehow through all the darkness, there was a light shining brightly behind me.
I think I’m in love.
Upon approaching the rusty open gate of the luggage carriage, we got on - I’m still holding on to his hand. So I pull him close again as the train awakes for its long journey.
I love you.
I want to say but I let go and just lean against the metal walls - to stare at his undefined beauty.
So I think back to the time I first saw him. Yes, it was a Saturday on a spring day when I arrived with my father to work for the Kwon household.
Clutching to my father’s large hands, I nervously enter the great mansion with the tall steel gate. He told me he worked and now it’s my time to serve the owners as well. My father mentioned that there was a boy my age and that I would be able to play with him, so I was excited as we entered the big house.
I was at awe when I saw the beautiful chandeliers and painting pieces magnificently placed among the room. In the middle there was a deep wood stair case, cascading down gracefully.
“Ah, Choi, you made it!” called a man from the side, but then my attention went to the boy standing near him.
He appeared to be a year or two smaller than me with pale skin and light blonde hair. Wearing what seemed like a school uniform, he stood behind the man. But then suddenly coming forth, he offered a hand and a mesmerizing smile.
I fell in love right at that moment.
JULY 20th, 20XX
21:00
Ji Yong
The rush of cold air hits my skin as I close my eyes and lean against the metal door. I can feel him staring at me - those deep, dark eyes piercing through my soul. So I ask, “Why did you save me?”.
“I don’t know - ”
“There has to be some kind of reason. This is no game, Seung Hyun. You can’t - ” I charge back, now facing him straight ahead.
“I love you,” he utters through a veil of shame. So I stop to repeat the words he had said again in my head. I drop to the ground, just thinking it makes me shudder. This is not right. This is why he's dangerous.
“No you don’t,” I mutter back, turning away to face the luggage behind us.
It’s scary.
"Why don't you believe me?" he demanded, face stricken.
"You can't love someone you don't know." I smiled wryly. "It's lust, Seung Hyun."
"But I do love you! I've loved you since the day we met!" He moved closer to me, wrapping his arms around my small frame. My heart started beating faster again, which made me scared. "I love you, Ji Yong. It's okay if you don't love me back, just let me be with you."
Those words are lies.
I push him away, but he grabs my arm and pulls me close again. He tilts my chin up before kissing me--gently. It was different from what all those men did in my bedroom. It was different, and I liked it.
No.
I can't let this happen. A person like me only exists so others can use me as they wish. All those feelings that I'd locked deep down inside me were coming back out again, and I didn't like it at all. I frantically reach into my back pocket, looking for that shiny piece of metal.
Found it.
Without a moment's hesitation, I plunge the knife deep into his abdomen. He pulls back, startled. The expression on his face was priceless. And I was that Ji Yong again. The one with no feelings. I moved forward and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips before plunging the knife into his body again--this time, in his heart.
He gasps...once, twice... And then he stops, falling to the ground.
I place his head on my lap and look out at the dark night. I let out a chuckle and closed his eyes.
“Sorry, Seung Hyun," I whispered. "I can’t love.”
I’m soaked into the loneliness that I can’t see an end to
Like a child that’s lost their way john tesh it down mini cooper
It’s sadder that my only sin is loving you
I tore all the smiles you showed me
I grinded all your love inside my heart
I love you
She's gone // G-Dragon
A/N: I don't know what's gotten to me but I seem to really like angst so I hope you'll like this one. Since I'm on my summer break right now, I have time to think and write, but this one was inspired by an anime I watched a while back called "Betrayal Knows my name", it's a good watch, I reccommend it ^^