Variant // 07
// Series
Slice of life; Angst
"Yah, wanna die?" "I wouldn't mind since it's you" "Are you crazy" "Just a little bit"
For atenais_pala's birthday!
A little from the heart
“You can stay here if you want, we have school tomorrow anyways” Seung Hyun muttered, hesitantly pushing Ji Yong away from the embrace. Nervously looking at the wall he rubbed the back off his neck. He hadn’t let his defence break away so easily with anyone and it seemed that after many years he had an emotional moment with someone else.
“Ok...” the red-head replied, busying him as he fixed his shirt. Ji Yong wanted to continue but he was just that type of a touchy-feely person. He expressed his love with kisses, hugs all the above - but it was the first time he voiced how he felt.
“Why did you faint back there?” Seung Hyun asked, interrupting his thoughts after a while. He never liked prying into other’s business - but it was like he had to know.
“I have anaemia, so I think it was just a bit of blood loss...” Ji Yong smiled weakly.
“Oh...” was all the dark-haired could muster up between the guilt and sympathy.
“No, it’s fine! It isn’t anything major but I’ve had it since I was small” the other mused, biting his lower lip. “There isn’t anything to sympathize for...” he finished, almost in a dark and hurtful voice.
“Well, I was bulimic when I was small...” Seung Hyun rambled, almost cursing himself afterwards for letting it out. “I was really fat and I got bullied and stuff...” he coughed awkwardly - almost as if he wanted Ji Yong to feel better.
The red-head laughed and stood up to go closer to other man. He reached up to his lightly tanned face and caressed it softly to give a little kiss. “Well, seems like we are more alike than we thought” Ji Yong whispered quietly.
“Why do you make me so nervous?” Seung Hyun panted breathlessly.
“May be because I’m just sexy like that” the other gleamed, licking the other’s chin softly. “But seriously, you’re the one that makes me all worked up, kid” he finished, stepping away.
“Kid?” Seung Hyun asked, confused.
“Yeah, I failed two grades so I’m two years older than you” he simply said, ruffling through his pants for a quick smoke. It was driving him crazy that he hadn’t had one in days. “Unless you were born 1993 too?” Ji Yong quirked his brows.
“What?” the dark-haired shouted.
“Don’t look so surprised. I’ve hated studying since I was small so I didn’t do my home work and got demoted from senior year. Simple as that” Ji Yong replied in between smokes. “What? Am I too old for you?” he smirked.
“No - I mean I’m not into you like that - wait, what?” Seung Hyun blabbed, obviously too confused to make sense at all.
“Gosh, you make me feel like a pedophile” the red-head huffed before crushing his finished cigarette into an ash tray and proceeding into wrapping his legs against Seung Hyun’s waist. “Your way too addicting more me” he claimed, slowing kissing his neck.
“Wait - stop!” Seung Hyun shouted, trying to push the other away from his body. “I don’t like guys” he managed to mutter out.
“Liar” Ji Yong chimed, still at his neck and moving to his ears.
“Please stop...” the dark-haired man begged, breathless.
“Or what?” the other whispered close to his ears, biting into it gently.
“Or I might do something...” Seung Hyun peeped, closing his eyes to control himself.
“Oh, don’t worry! I think pain has been my thing lately” Ji Yong assured as he pressed his lips against the other.
“Wait - just, please...” Seung Hyun pushed the other away, trying to catch his breath as his heart pumped loudly. The irregular breathing continued for five more minutes before Ji Yong started to worry.
“Hey, you okay?” the red-head asked, resting his hand against Seung Hyun’s shoulder who was crouched down to his knees holding his head with his palms.
“I’m...I’m fine” the younger man breathed out, “I forgot to mention I’m a bit claustrophobic too...” he managed to stay before staggering into the kitchen beside his bedroom door.
“Sorry - ”
“It’s fine. Um, I don’t really know how to cook and all so, wanna eat out or something?” Seung Hyun admitted, half his body stuck into the refrigerator.
Ji Yong let out a quite chuckle before making his way towards to the younger man and pulling him out. “Let’s see what we can make do, okay?” the red-head said clasping his hands together to give the other a big smile.
Ji Yong washed his hands as Seung Hyun handed him an apron that he had hardly used. Quickly fastening the knots, he grabbed a knife to cut out the vegetable for kimchi. Even though Ji Yong can be a failure at studying, he has the right to boast about his cooking skills.
“Where did you learn to cook like that?” Seung Hyun asked, now sitting against the kitchen counter, dangling his feat slowly.
“I’ve lived by myself for a long time, so you kind off need to learn but other than that my sister was a great cook so I she taught me some stuff” Ji Yong responded, setting the cut vegetables into the hot frying pan.
“Where is your sister now?” the younger couldn’t help but ask.
“Somewhere good...” the red-head sighed, almost a hurtful expression clouding in. “Hey, do you mind getting some soju or something? I’ll finish up the rest and there is money in my jacket pocket” Ji Yong asked.
“Um sure...” Seung Hyun replied, “But I got it” he finished, heading out the front door. As soon as he left, Ji Yong breathed out, suddenly shaking furiously. The familiar shiver crawled against his spine making his heart react loudly.
He needed to find it.
Grabbing the knife, he pressed it on to his wrist and let out a quite shriek. The thick red liquid slowly slid down and fell on to the ground. A single tear escaped Ji Yong’s eyes before he closed his eyes to recall that memory he remembered all the time. It was still vivid is his mind - replaying every time he needs to see.
Yes, this is what he needed - a worthy punishment.
“So mind explain what you’re doing?” a deep voice came before Ji Yong scattered to look behind him. “You’re leaving a mess everywhere...” Seung Hyun whispered, taking the older man by the arm.
“How much of it did you see?” Ji Yong questioned, his head turned away in shame.
“Does it matter? You do it feel better right?” the younger boy asked, leading the other into the bathroom.
“Aren’t you going to look down on me?” the red-head asked quietly, rubbing away the tears with his other hand.
“I don’t know why you are doing this, but I can’t look down on someone who hurts themselves to feel whatever they might feel. It’s none of my business anyways...” Seung Hyun replied, searching for his first aid kit in the bottom cupboards. Upon finding the little red box, he carefully took out a band aid and placed it against the fresh cut on the pale, while skin. “Don’t we all have a different way to solve our problems?” Seung Hyun asked, slowly picking up another.
“Why is it that you can say the things I need to hear to easily?” the red-head asked, proceeding to sit against the counter. He pulled on the other’s shirt to hug him tightly.
“Hey - ”
“Can we just stay like this?” the older asked, pulling Seung Hyun even closer.
“But I’m hungry...” the other whined.
“Okay, I make it in a bit. But just for a minute, I want to stay like this” Ji Yong laughed, wrapping his legs around the younger’s torso.
“You sound like a hopeless romantic” Seung Hyun smirked.
“Way to kill the mood” the red-head huffed, jumping off the counter and making his way to the kitchen.
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A/N: Oh mai gat! I can post! I have been trying to post this for three days and finally I can post it! But, please read my apology for updating so late! I hope you enjoyed, it's longer than usual =^^=V