Comments | haruki_emishi: I don't feel like I am in reality anymore

haruki_emishi

I don't feel like I am in reality anymore

May 01, 2011 10:28

Two nights ago I find out a long time friend of mine from High School shot himself in the head and is in the ICU unit at UVA hospital. I am unsure still how to take this news as bouts of sadness roll over me like a turbulent wave. This was someone of whom which I felt we shared a common bond even with our differences in hobbies and thoughts. A ( Read more... )

Comments 4

ubikono May 2 2011, 00:52:42 UTC

When I read this, I was *really* distraught. I didn't know how to write any words of comfort.

I really wish and hope that your friend pulls through and recuperates. I also *hope* that your bouts of sadness does not make you ill. I want you to stay strong and not crumble emotionally. If anything, keep hold of those great memories and moments that you two shared (as well as create in the future). I hope that somehow they travel to his subconscious, all these great thoughts of the people who care for him as well as the love that you have for him.

haruki_emishi May 2 2011, 04:05:33 UTC

Sorry to say that he died today around 1pm from what I was told. The whole day I didn't feel right and I knew something was wrong. A feeling I could not shake the entire day and it was in the pit of my stomach.

I don't understand why he had to be taken from all of us. God, his poor family no one should have to bury their child; ever. This just does not feel real to me and I am sad, frustrated, and angry all in one. Back in 2005 my cousin's longtime boyfriend committed suicide and I was close with him and his daughter.

This is two people now and I am still grieving over the first. Now its someone who I loved and cherished so much...not fair. Though I found out today Osama Bin Laden died so my friend and I joked that Nick did it as a last farewell.

ubikono May 2 2011, 23:44:24 UTC

Oh no!

*huggles*

My condolences, no parent should ever die before their child.

I just hope you won't be consumed in a sadness that it would make you sick. Really, I understand the feeling of loosing a loved one, it's been a year and...it still *hurts* I was sick because of how sad I was. I just don't want that to happen yo you.

At least, your friends are there to lighten your spirits.

Take care.

haruki_emishi May 3 2011, 04:15:20 UTC

I will try not too but I just feel this sorrow wash over me. This is a man I shared an intimate night with and it felt right, it didn't feel like we were just doing it for the hell of it. There was so much I wanted to do with him and our friends, I wanted to see him go through college and be something amazing, I will admit I wanted to be there by his side.

...Now I will never know if we would've ever worked out. At least not in this life time anyway. I swear, the day I die one day I will run straight for him and give him a big hug. I would not want to let go :)