☤ IC Guide to the S.S. THOR (in progress) v 1.0
THE CONDENSED GUIDE TO YOUR LIFE AND THE S. S. THOR
index
to begin with
an introduction
the guide
to begin with... ☄
[ What first plays when opening this page is a short animation in silhouette style. A Vogon speaks, and a stream of nonsense symbols come out. The confused silhouette standing to the side has a giant question mark appear above it's head.
The two briefly fail to converse, and then the Vogon holds up one hand as if to indicate that the other person should stop. It reaches into a jar, producing something, and then camera "zooms" in on this babelfish. We're given a good few seconds of viewing time of this tiny creature before the camera zooms out again, and the confused silhouette is handed the babelfish. The Vogon indicates it should be put into the ear. Dubious, the silhouette obeys, shivers, and then the Vogon speaks again.
A stream of text appears, and the silhouette now shows an exclamation mark above it's head. Eureka! They have found it! Common communicative ground!
For those who already have their babelfish in-ear, they will hear the following:
"When you first find yourself in the New Arrivals Office, you likely will not understand what is being said to you. In order to aid your transition into Intergalactic Society, the Vogons working at the counter will offer you the most advanced translation tool known across the universes: the Babelfish. Entirely organic, and entirely harmless to it's host, you will be directed to place the babelfish into your ear canal, or into whatever serves as an auditory passage for your species. Upon insertion, the babelfish will anchor itself and begin translating almost immediately. You will notice the words that made no sense before are suddenly recognizable sentences!
Eureka! You have found it! Common communicative ground!
If you can understand what is being said, please say, "Yes," and continue on to the next section of this Refugee Introduction to the S. S. Thor: Also Known As Your Life, In Space, Redux guide."
The animation will loop automatically after three minutes without the definitive answer it is looking for in order to progress. ]
an introduction ☄
[ An amorphous ball of light appears on screen. ]
Hello, and welcome to the S. S. Thor. If you've just arrived, and you're hearing this, then congratulations on making it through the start of the Vogon paperwork. The Vogons were the people working behind the counter of the room you found yourself in with little to no explanation upon your arrival.
There's a lot to take in now that you've been brought here, and most of it isn't easy to accept. We ask that you bear with us and make your own decisions on how to handle the situation after listening to what we have to say.
We'll start with some of the basics of your new situation.
[ Each question appears in writing on the screen, as well as spoken out loud. When the star fills in black, the amorphous ball of light is answering the question asked. ]
☆ Where am I?
★ You are currently on the S. S. Thor, and intergalactic ship dedicated to taking peopl like you to a planet known as Magrathea, in order to give you the chance to rebuild your home world.
☆ A refugee from what?
★ A refugee from your destroyed planet. The Captains of this ship firmly believe your planet is one of many who were destroyed more or less simultaneously. This means all the worlds of the refugees on this ship, including your own, were destroyed across the universes in the same moment in time.
☆ I'm not a refugee!
★ While this may be true, as far as this ship and its Captains are concerned, you are in fact a refugee.
☆ If there proof that my world is gone?
★ The Captains have made it a matter of public record to review files on listed planetary destruction. Planets destroyed through beaurocratic means have video files; everything else has a standard written file, and nothing further.
To view the Planetary Destruction files, in their summarized form, touch this text now.
☆ So there is no proof!
★ You do not have to accept that your world is gone. Given the evidence available, it's as possible that your world still exists as it is that your world no longer exists. You do not have to believe the Captains. Simultaneous Planetary Destruction is simply the explanation offered as to how all the refugees are brought on board the S. S. Thor by the Captains. That, and the Infinite Improbability Drive.
☆ What is the Infinite Improbability Drive?
★ The Infinite Improbability Drive is in the central core of the S. S. Thor and allows the ship to move across great distances in less than seconds. For further explanation, please see here. Unfortunately, each time the Improbability Drive is used, there are side effects throughout the ship as a whole. Examples of these side effects include people being turned into small animals, people finding themselves deprived of a sense (such as taste, or touch, or even vision), and people finding themselves seeing in just black and white.
Currently, there is no summarized list of side effects, and thus no reliable way to see if there is any consistency to these effects.
☆ What brought me here?
★ The Captains have told us that the Infinite Improbability Drive is responsible for all unexpected presences on board the S. S. Thor. In this case, that means you, and all the other listed refugees.
☆ How do I get back?
★ The Infinite Improbability Drive has not yet proven capable of sending anyone away from the ship. The Captains also warn against leaving the ship for periods longer than a month or two, as according to them, refugees will die if they live apart from the Infinite Improbability Drive for too long. For further explanation, please see here.
☆ Then I'm trapped?
★ If you want to look at it in that light, then yes. You are trapped.
☆ So now what?
★ The Captains have provided you with housing and a Guide; the device you are currently viewing. For more information on how to use the Guide itself, see below. You should have also been assigned a towel, which you are advised to keep handy, if just for the fact a towel can be useful in and of itself.
As you are a new arrival, your room will be on Floor Three. The blinking image in the right hand corner of your screen will take you to a map of the ship itself, which will allow you to put in your room number and guide you to your room. This image will stop blinking momentarily, but will remain in that corner of your screen. Please see the section on the Guide itself to learn how to call up this map whenever you wish to view it.
You have been given a small amount of funding to smooth your transition into the city environment on the S. S. Thor. This consists of a card with your name on it, or several round, flat objects known as credits. Credits are the money used on the S. S. Thor, and are accepted anywhere in the universes where the S. S. Thor takes you. To learn how to earn more credits, please see below.
☆ How am I supposed to live on the credits given to me at arrival?
★ Frugally, until you either find someone willing to provide for you, find yourself employed, or find yourself on the streets. Employment isn't hard to come by on the S. S. Thor. Every month a list of available "missions" (as they are called) are posted on each residential floor for the refugees to view, as well as made available on the Guide. As you've just arrived, you're considered "eligible" for any job offering a minimum wage.
Be aware that unless you are being tipped by customers, you will not see any of the money you are earning until the end of the month. Paychecks are given monthly, after any Infinite Improbability Drive side effect has been dealt with. Please keep this in mind.
☆ I don't want to work!
★ You aren't required to do anything you wouldn't like. The Captains don't hold themselves accountable for your actions, or your ability to survive if you reject their attempts to integrate you into an alien environment.
☆
★
☆
★
the guide ☄
[ To begin with, a user will find a nice walk-through on basic Guide functions, including (but not limited to) turning the Guide on and off; how to access the FlamingFerret plug-in, and how to post, read, and look back through the archives on FlamingFerret.
There are a few explanations about button functions to bring up other basic applications on the Guide, such as the calendar: ]
☆ Where might I locate the S.S. Thor's current date and time? Is there a calendar for the S.S. Thor itself?
★ You may find the calendar by clicking the small square in the lower right hand corner of your Guide-screen. If nothing's there, look for a displayed series of numbers correlating to the current S.S. Thor standard time, and click those numbers twice. You should be brought to the secondary calendar and clock function, which will inform you of the current time, date, and star-year.
[ The star year for 2010 is 20348. For 2011 it is 20349. ]
A more advanced user manual to the Guide can be requested from the New Arrival's Office, utilizing forms z67 and z67-9-A.
index
to begin with
an introduction
the guide
to begin with... ☄
[ What first plays when opening this page is a short animation in silhouette style. A Vogon speaks, and a stream of nonsense symbols come out. The confused silhouette standing to the side has a giant question mark appear above it's head.
The two briefly fail to converse, and then the Vogon holds up one hand as if to indicate that the other person should stop. It reaches into a jar, producing something, and then camera "zooms" in on this babelfish. We're given a good few seconds of viewing time of this tiny creature before the camera zooms out again, and the confused silhouette is handed the babelfish. The Vogon indicates it should be put into the ear. Dubious, the silhouette obeys, shivers, and then the Vogon speaks again.
A stream of text appears, and the silhouette now shows an exclamation mark above it's head. Eureka! They have found it! Common communicative ground!
For those who already have their babelfish in-ear, they will hear the following:
"When you first find yourself in the New Arrivals Office, you likely will not understand what is being said to you. In order to aid your transition into Intergalactic Society, the Vogons working at the counter will offer you the most advanced translation tool known across the universes: the Babelfish. Entirely organic, and entirely harmless to it's host, you will be directed to place the babelfish into your ear canal, or into whatever serves as an auditory passage for your species. Upon insertion, the babelfish will anchor itself and begin translating almost immediately. You will notice the words that made no sense before are suddenly recognizable sentences!
Eureka! You have found it! Common communicative ground!
If you can understand what is being said, please say, "Yes," and continue on to the next section of this Refugee Introduction to the S. S. Thor: Also Known As Your Life, In Space, Redux guide."
The animation will loop automatically after three minutes without the definitive answer it is looking for in order to progress. ]
an introduction ☄
[ An amorphous ball of light appears on screen. ]
Hello, and welcome to the S. S. Thor. If you've just arrived, and you're hearing this, then congratulations on making it through the start of the Vogon paperwork. The Vogons were the people working behind the counter of the room you found yourself in with little to no explanation upon your arrival.
There's a lot to take in now that you've been brought here, and most of it isn't easy to accept. We ask that you bear with us and make your own decisions on how to handle the situation after listening to what we have to say.
We'll start with some of the basics of your new situation.
[ Each question appears in writing on the screen, as well as spoken out loud. When the star fills in black, the amorphous ball of light is answering the question asked. ]
☆ Where am I?
★ You are currently on the S. S. Thor, and intergalactic ship dedicated to taking peopl like you to a planet known as Magrathea, in order to give you the chance to rebuild your home world.
☆ A refugee from what?
★ A refugee from your destroyed planet. The Captains of this ship firmly believe your planet is one of many who were destroyed more or less simultaneously. This means all the worlds of the refugees on this ship, including your own, were destroyed across the universes in the same moment in time.
☆ I'm not a refugee!
★ While this may be true, as far as this ship and its Captains are concerned, you are in fact a refugee.
☆ If there proof that my world is gone?
★ The Captains have made it a matter of public record to review files on listed planetary destruction. Planets destroyed through beaurocratic means have video files; everything else has a standard written file, and nothing further.
To view the Planetary Destruction files, in their summarized form, touch this text now.
☆ So there is no proof!
★ You do not have to accept that your world is gone. Given the evidence available, it's as possible that your world still exists as it is that your world no longer exists. You do not have to believe the Captains. Simultaneous Planetary Destruction is simply the explanation offered as to how all the refugees are brought on board the S. S. Thor by the Captains. That, and the Infinite Improbability Drive.
☆ What is the Infinite Improbability Drive?
★ The Infinite Improbability Drive is in the central core of the S. S. Thor and allows the ship to move across great distances in less than seconds. For further explanation, please see here. Unfortunately, each time the Improbability Drive is used, there are side effects throughout the ship as a whole. Examples of these side effects include people being turned into small animals, people finding themselves deprived of a sense (such as taste, or touch, or even vision), and people finding themselves seeing in just black and white.
Currently, there is no summarized list of side effects, and thus no reliable way to see if there is any consistency to these effects.
☆ What brought me here?
★ The Captains have told us that the Infinite Improbability Drive is responsible for all unexpected presences on board the S. S. Thor. In this case, that means you, and all the other listed refugees.
☆ How do I get back?
★ The Infinite Improbability Drive has not yet proven capable of sending anyone away from the ship. The Captains also warn against leaving the ship for periods longer than a month or two, as according to them, refugees will die if they live apart from the Infinite Improbability Drive for too long. For further explanation, please see here.
☆ Then I'm trapped?
★ If you want to look at it in that light, then yes. You are trapped.
☆ So now what?
★ The Captains have provided you with housing and a Guide; the device you are currently viewing. For more information on how to use the Guide itself, see below. You should have also been assigned a towel, which you are advised to keep handy, if just for the fact a towel can be useful in and of itself.
As you are a new arrival, your room will be on Floor Three. The blinking image in the right hand corner of your screen will take you to a map of the ship itself, which will allow you to put in your room number and guide you to your room. This image will stop blinking momentarily, but will remain in that corner of your screen. Please see the section on the Guide itself to learn how to call up this map whenever you wish to view it.
You have been given a small amount of funding to smooth your transition into the city environment on the S. S. Thor. This consists of a card with your name on it, or several round, flat objects known as credits. Credits are the money used on the S. S. Thor, and are accepted anywhere in the universes where the S. S. Thor takes you. To learn how to earn more credits, please see below.
☆ How am I supposed to live on the credits given to me at arrival?
★ Frugally, until you either find someone willing to provide for you, find yourself employed, or find yourself on the streets. Employment isn't hard to come by on the S. S. Thor. Every month a list of available "missions" (as they are called) are posted on each residential floor for the refugees to view, as well as made available on the Guide. As you've just arrived, you're considered "eligible" for any job offering a minimum wage.
Be aware that unless you are being tipped by customers, you will not see any of the money you are earning until the end of the month. Paychecks are given monthly, after any Infinite Improbability Drive side effect has been dealt with. Please keep this in mind.
☆ I don't want to work!
★ You aren't required to do anything you wouldn't like. The Captains don't hold themselves accountable for your actions, or your ability to survive if you reject their attempts to integrate you into an alien environment.
☆
★
☆
★
the guide ☄
[ To begin with, a user will find a nice walk-through on basic Guide functions, including (but not limited to) turning the Guide on and off; how to access the FlamingFerret plug-in, and how to post, read, and look back through the archives on FlamingFerret.
There are a few explanations about button functions to bring up other basic applications on the Guide, such as the calendar: ]
☆ Where might I locate the S.S. Thor's current date and time? Is there a calendar for the S.S. Thor itself?
★ You may find the calendar by clicking the small square in the lower right hand corner of your Guide-screen. If nothing's there, look for a displayed series of numbers correlating to the current S.S. Thor standard time, and click those numbers twice. You should be brought to the secondary calendar and clock function, which will inform you of the current time, date, and star-year.
[ The star year for 2010 is 20348. For 2011 it is 20349. ]
A more advanced user manual to the Guide can be requested from the New Arrival's Office, utilizing forms z67 and z67-9-A.