Star Trek Drabbles
Originally for celes_grant
When Commander Riker had received the call he had been right in the middle of a candlelight dinner with Deanna. It had been going rather well, he thought, with dinner being an absolute success, and around dessert he knew that the night was going to end well, if his partner's licking of the spoon was anything to go by.
But of course he had gotten a page right in between glasses of very good red wine, and without thinking he'd answered it. Which had set off a series of events where he was now half a planet away from his fiancee and in a police station.
He stared at the cell's occupant.
"I hope you have a damn good reason, Lt Commander."
"My apologies, sir. As I explained to the police, the incident in question was a simple misunderstanding."
"A misunderstanding? From what I heard, there was a brawl in one of the oldest tea houses here."
"Yes, sir. It seems that the Tea master at the ceremony I decided to observe did not appreciate my testing of my emotion chip."
"I thought you were getting better at handling your emotions."
"I have been making upgrades, and felt that in order to experience the entire ceremony, that a new taste program should be installed."
"I don't see any problem with that. Did the program malfunction?"
"No sir. The taste program worked perfectly. However, I neglected to take into account the bitterness of the powered tea used in the ceremony."
Riker rubbed a hand over his face. "Data, you didn't spit out the tea, did you?"
Data, while still remaining blank, managed to convey an air of chagrin in any case. "I am afraid so, sir."
"So you spat the tea out, and it wasn't taken very kindly by the other people involved."
"No sir. Also, apparently, "This tastes of Dinomean Leeches" is not an appropriate response either."
Riker was NOT going to ask how Data knew what Dinomean Leeches tastes like.
"I can see where they might take offense, yes."
"But sir, I was only making a comparison. There was not need for breaking the pot over my head."
"...You're not hurt, are you?"
"Sir, I am equipped with a-"
"Right, right, silly question." More likely the pot had shattered into a million little pieces. "You'll be making a full report to the Captain, of course."
"Yes sir."
Now came a moment of quiet, a lull in the conversation as Data waited primly for Riker to continue his chastisement of his junior officer. The absurdity of the situation, however had finally caught up with the commander, and a grin bloomed on his face.
"I fail to see what is so funny, Commander. An officer of Starfleet in jail is no laughing matter, sir."
"Of course not, Data, but did you tell the master that the tea tasted like Dinomean Leeches?"
"Yes sir" Data deadpanned, head cocked to the side, then watched as Riker chuckled. "Is this an instance of "humor", commander?"
"I suppose you could call it that, Data."
"I fail to see how the destruction of a priceless heirloom is amusing, sir."
Riker composed himself. "It's not the pot breaking that is funny, Data."
"Ah." The android sat and mused to himself. "I still have much to learn about being human."
"It's all right, Data. You'll get there. Now, I'll go see about getting you released. And I expect that report for the Captain first thing tomorrow."
"Agreed sir."
Commander Riker smiled at the pale android one last time before going to see about Data's release. He decided he'd wait before telling Data that there was still some tea stuck in his hair.
Originally for girlchild0aglow
"Captain, I do not understand why you insist on feeding me. I am undamaged, and therefore do not need your assistance."
Captain Kathryn Janeway put down the spoon. "I thought we agreed that tonight I was Kathryn, Seven."
Seven of Nine did not shift in her seat, as she was already optimally balanced. She did not look around to observe that dinner (replicator-prepared) had already been cleared. She had observed upon entering the Captain's quarters that there were two long-stemmed Tea roses in a small vase (7 replicator rations. She would have to advise the captain at their next meeting that she should not be spending scarce resources on frivolous items. She made a note to replace them with her own. She had accumulated 246, as the dry rations were sufficient for her daily needs. Besides, if the Captain were to go without her coffee, her efficiency dropped 8%.).
Now the Captain was insisting that she feed her dessert when she was, as stated above, perfectly capable of feeding herself.
"Kathryn, I must ask why you insist on spoon-feeding me. I was aware that only very small humans needed to be feed in such a manner." She only stumbled momentarily over the personal pronoun. The Doctor would be pleased.
The Captain signed. "I thought it would be fun, was all."
"'Fun'?" Now Seven was confused. How was spoon-feeding enjoyable for the Captain?
"Yes, fun, Seven. But I can go get another spoon, if you would rather."
Seven processed for a moment, and then recalled a moment during one of her observations of Ensign Paris and Lt. Commander Torres. Torres had been eating a slice of cake in the rec room when Paris joined her. They had exchanged a few words before Torres had offered a bite of her cake. Paris had eaten it with obvious enjoyment. At the time, she thought it had been because the cake had been replicated, rather than made by an overzealous Neelix. Perhaps this was another mating ritual? She would have to discuss it with the Doctor later. For now, however, she would observe for later reporting.
"Very well. Continue."
The captain - no, Kathryn, had been in the middle of getting up to go get another spoon, but sat back down. "What was that, Seven?"
"If you wish to continue to spoon-feed me, I will comply."
Kathryn's smile made a coil of heat settle in her chest. "Thank you, Seven."
Seven opened her mouth, and as Kathryn slipped the spoon in, she thought she had made the right decision. Resistance, after all, was futile.
When Commander Riker had received the call he had been right in the middle of a candlelight dinner with Deanna. It had been going rather well, he thought, with dinner being an absolute success, and around dessert he knew that the night was going to end well, if his partner's licking of the spoon was anything to go by.
But of course he had gotten a page right in between glasses of very good red wine, and without thinking he'd answered it. Which had set off a series of events where he was now half a planet away from his fiancee and in a police station.
He stared at the cell's occupant.
"I hope you have a damn good reason, Lt Commander."
"My apologies, sir. As I explained to the police, the incident in question was a simple misunderstanding."
"A misunderstanding? From what I heard, there was a brawl in one of the oldest tea houses here."
"Yes, sir. It seems that the Tea master at the ceremony I decided to observe did not appreciate my testing of my emotion chip."
"I thought you were getting better at handling your emotions."
"I have been making upgrades, and felt that in order to experience the entire ceremony, that a new taste program should be installed."
"I don't see any problem with that. Did the program malfunction?"
"No sir. The taste program worked perfectly. However, I neglected to take into account the bitterness of the powered tea used in the ceremony."
Riker rubbed a hand over his face. "Data, you didn't spit out the tea, did you?"
Data, while still remaining blank, managed to convey an air of chagrin in any case. "I am afraid so, sir."
"So you spat the tea out, and it wasn't taken very kindly by the other people involved."
"No sir. Also, apparently, "This tastes of Dinomean Leeches" is not an appropriate response either."
Riker was NOT going to ask how Data knew what Dinomean Leeches tastes like.
"I can see where they might take offense, yes."
"But sir, I was only making a comparison. There was not need for breaking the pot over my head."
"...You're not hurt, are you?"
"Sir, I am equipped with a-"
"Right, right, silly question." More likely the pot had shattered into a million little pieces. "You'll be making a full report to the Captain, of course."
"Yes sir."
Now came a moment of quiet, a lull in the conversation as Data waited primly for Riker to continue his chastisement of his junior officer. The absurdity of the situation, however had finally caught up with the commander, and a grin bloomed on his face.
"I fail to see what is so funny, Commander. An officer of Starfleet in jail is no laughing matter, sir."
"Of course not, Data, but did you tell the master that the tea tasted like Dinomean Leeches?"
"Yes sir" Data deadpanned, head cocked to the side, then watched as Riker chuckled. "Is this an instance of "humor", commander?"
"I suppose you could call it that, Data."
"I fail to see how the destruction of a priceless heirloom is amusing, sir."
Riker composed himself. "It's not the pot breaking that is funny, Data."
"Ah." The android sat and mused to himself. "I still have much to learn about being human."
"It's all right, Data. You'll get there. Now, I'll go see about getting you released. And I expect that report for the Captain first thing tomorrow."
"Agreed sir."
Commander Riker smiled at the pale android one last time before going to see about Data's release. He decided he'd wait before telling Data that there was still some tea stuck in his hair.
Originally for girlchild0aglow
"Captain, I do not understand why you insist on feeding me. I am undamaged, and therefore do not need your assistance."
Captain Kathryn Janeway put down the spoon. "I thought we agreed that tonight I was Kathryn, Seven."
Seven of Nine did not shift in her seat, as she was already optimally balanced. She did not look around to observe that dinner (replicator-prepared) had already been cleared. She had observed upon entering the Captain's quarters that there were two long-stemmed Tea roses in a small vase (7 replicator rations. She would have to advise the captain at their next meeting that she should not be spending scarce resources on frivolous items. She made a note to replace them with her own. She had accumulated 246, as the dry rations were sufficient for her daily needs. Besides, if the Captain were to go without her coffee, her efficiency dropped 8%.).
Now the Captain was insisting that she feed her dessert when she was, as stated above, perfectly capable of feeding herself.
"Kathryn, I must ask why you insist on spoon-feeding me. I was aware that only very small humans needed to be feed in such a manner." She only stumbled momentarily over the personal pronoun. The Doctor would be pleased.
The Captain signed. "I thought it would be fun, was all."
"'Fun'?" Now Seven was confused. How was spoon-feeding enjoyable for the Captain?
"Yes, fun, Seven. But I can go get another spoon, if you would rather."
Seven processed for a moment, and then recalled a moment during one of her observations of Ensign Paris and Lt. Commander Torres. Torres had been eating a slice of cake in the rec room when Paris joined her. They had exchanged a few words before Torres had offered a bite of her cake. Paris had eaten it with obvious enjoyment. At the time, she thought it had been because the cake had been replicated, rather than made by an overzealous Neelix. Perhaps this was another mating ritual? She would have to discuss it with the Doctor later. For now, however, she would observe for later reporting.
"Very well. Continue."
The captain - no, Kathryn, had been in the middle of getting up to go get another spoon, but sat back down. "What was that, Seven?"
"If you wish to continue to spoon-feed me, I will comply."
Kathryn's smile made a coil of heat settle in her chest. "Thank you, Seven."
Seven opened her mouth, and as Kathryn slipped the spoon in, she thought she had made the right decision. Resistance, after all, was futile.