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Player Information
Name: Miyun
Timezone: GMT
Personal Journal: pandarosi
Players Contact/AIM/MSN/YAHOO: Faereyjar
Email Address: asakura.miyun at gmail dot com
Former/Other Characters in the RP: none
How did you hear about us?: I missed playing here okay :C
Character Information
Name: Julusmole "Juli" Bayhan
Canon Origin/Series: Thomas no Shinzou / Heart of Thomas
School Year: 4
Gender: Male
Age: 14
Out of school living location: Wiltshire, England / Weisbaden, Germany
Blood status: Halfblood, brought up in a pure-blood family.
Personality: Julusmole is a deeply troubled individual, but he hides his troubles well. Amicable, intelligent and charismatic, he has always been a quiet but well-liked figure at his school. With excellent academic records, as head of his dorm he takes his responsibilities seriously and performs flawlessly, spending much of his time studying and grooming himself to fit the mould of the model student. Well known throughout his class for his perfect grades and ability to answer any question on the spot, he can be seen explaining the intricacies of mathematics and history alike. He is seemingly perfect, yet, his motivations behind this all-encompassing determination to be an upstanding citizen stem very much from his unhappy family situation and hint at his true inner fragility.
Juli's difficulties started from a very early age. As a child, Juli was bright and simple, knowing very little about the world. However, after his father's death, he moved back to his mother's family household and quickly fell victim to racism due to his dark hair and eyes - a stark contrast to his younger, blond and sickly sister. With his grandmother's vocal disapproval of his looks and assumptions about his abilities, Juli's submissive nature developed into a mixture of self-criticism and strong determination to be worthy of his family and prove to them his heritage as a "proper" German man. While this could be seen as a coping mechanism, the way his later personality would be shaped by events certainly has a foundation in the discrimination he faced in his own household. In order to please his grandmother's family, Juli cultivated his knowledge, doted on his younger sister and immersed himself in his books - doing his best to give his grandmother as few opportunities as possible to criticize his conduct. Even now, he writes home regularly with accounts of his school life in amicable tones - hiding his worries in words of love and devotion.
However, like all human beings, Juli could not be perfect. During his third year of school, he found himself wantonly drawn to two individuals, both his schoolmates in a single-sex school. He asserts that the good in him was attracted to the kind and angelic Thomas Werner, and the evil found its match in the delinquent intellectual Siefriet Gast. After an dubiously consensual encounter culminating in physical, psychological and sexual abuse by Siefriet and his friends over an Easter holiday, Juli shut himself off completely from his friends. His previously guarded behavior escalated to the point that it was difficult for him to confide in or trust others, becoming almost incapable of forming true bonds of friendship with anyone. Why? Because the self-criticism he had developed in the face of his family's racially motivated disapproval grew into a certain belief that due to his impure thoughts and actions, he was unworthy, tainted, and incapable of making the journey into heaven with his peers, having made what he calls a 'spell of a contract in demon's blood' through the scars on his body. His own hatred for himself caused him to push away the people who loved him and knew the truth - Oskar, his roommate, and little Thomas Werner, who loved him dearly. Not fully knowing Juli's secret, Thomas believed in the goodness he could still see in Juli and followed him around. Unnerved by his attraction to Thomas and afraid of tainting his purity, Juli became almost cruel in his behavior towards him, rejecting him cruelly in front of the student body and destroying all of the boy's letters to him. His coldness and impersonal behavior was therefore motivated by a strange mixture of fear and love, determined to cultivate his flawless, deceptive outer shell by rejecting the affections of others. As a defense mechanism in the face of his abuse, he took extreme measures in keeping up his appearances while believing in his heart that he was damned and unworthy of others' love.
However, the appearance of normality was shattered after Thomas' death, which had a profound impact on Juli - pushing him over the edge and into a spiral of anxiety and further self-blame, causing hallucinations and occasional paranoia. These outbursts, caused by guilt, hint at an even darker side of him: that there is a part of his own psyche that he believes is capable of murder. Though he cannot bring himself to actually carry out the act, his violent outbursts that seem almost uncharacteristic are grim reminders of the 'evil' that he feels has betrayed him. Before meeting Erik, he still very much believes that he has done something deeply wrong, and bears the physical and emotional scars of his rape by his upperclassmen. Unable to trust others because he does not believe he can be forgiven for either his rape or Thomas's death, he still forges shallow friendships with his classmates and remains approachable and well-liked among his peers, saying that it is possible to continue on keeping his secret and living this lie as long as no one else uncovers the truth. He tries hard to rebuild his life, but it will only take the right set of pressures to shatter this facade and reveal his damaged, almost reckless emotional state - and without doing so, it will be very difficult for him to accept himself as he is and move on.
Canon Background: During the winter holidays of his thirteenth year, Thomas Werner jumps from a high bridge leaving behind a note addressed solely to fourth year dorm supervisor Julusmole Bayhan, with only the words "Here is my love. Here is the sound of my heart. Surely you will understand."
Julusmole, or 'Juli' for short, is a hardworking student in a Schlotterbetz, an all-boys boarding school in Germany. As the head of his dorm, his exotic dark hair, good grades, and somewhat serious nature have made him incredibly popular and well-liked among his peers - but for many months he has been hounded by the affections of Thomas Werner, causing him to be the butt of what many think is a joke. Not knowing of the letter left behind in Juli's hands, most of his schoolmates believe the accident was nothing more than that, but the implication of the note is clear. Thomas left this note to Juli knowing that he would die: the accident was in actual fact a suicide.
Thomas's death starts to play on Juli's already vulnerable mind, causing bad dreams, hallucinations, and eccentric behavior. Oscar, Juli's roommate and closest friend, cares for him and attempts to persuade Juli to abandon his guilt over Thomas's death - but no sooner does Juli reconcile his thoughts regarding Thomas when another boy called Erik transfers into the school. Erik is the spitting image of Thomas; they have the same features - only their hair and eyes differ slightly from each other - and to Juli, it is as if Thomas has come back to haunt him. Determined to eradicate this doppleganger, Juli declares that he will 'finish' the job and destroy the hold Thomas has on him by killing Erik. It seems almost uncanny when Oscar is transferred from Juli's room back into the main dorms after a rumour about his conduct goes round the school, and Erik takes his place as Juli's roommate.
At first, this arrangement seems downright dangerous, and though Erik manages to learn more about Juli's facade and broken personality, their relationship remains strained, with Juli continuing to assert that Erik is the very essence of Thomas. However, this changes when Erik receives a letter informing him of his mother's death. Breaking down and crying, he rushes back to his room and begs Juli to kill him. Instead, Juli takes care of him, giving him sleeping pills and "calming CPR". However, the guilt Juli feels prevents him from doing any more for Erik. The next day, Erik runs away from school and back to the house he stayed in with his mother before she remarried, and spends the night there. When the school finds out, Juli takes the time to make his way all the way on the night train to Erik's house, arriving in the morning to pick him up and take him back to school. However, their train is delayed and Juli suggests they instead make their way to his home in Weisbaden to stay the night before going back to their school in the morning. At the train station, they run into Siefriet, and Juli's reaction to the man piques Erik's interest.
Upon arriving at Juli's family home, Erik witnesses the racist treatment that Juli is subjected to by his grandmother and is disgusted by it. Juli explains that his mother was descended from nobility, but she married a man with Greek heritage against her family's wishes.This man, Juli's father, was a successful businessman and took good care of his young family, but soon passed away after losing his fortune in a series of unlucky transactions. Touched by Juli's frankness, Erik begins to cry. Juli decides that he can ignore his inability to trust or love for one night and comforts Erik until the boy falls asleep.
When they return to school, Erik starts to dig into Juli's past after uncovering a book which hides a love poem written to Julusmole. Soon he too starts to pick up on the attraction Thomas once held for Juli. As Erik's behavior towards Juli starts to mimic Thomas' more and more, the school goes into an uproar and Juli becomes unsettled, seeing this as a second undeserved chance to 'regain his wings'. Taken to the edge by the revelation that Oscar knew everything but accepted him anyway, it is revealed to Erik that the reason for his scars and the reason why Juli does not feel capable of loving anyone: The attraction he felt towards his delinquent upperclassman Siefriet Gast culminated in Juli accepting an invitation over the Easter holidays to visiting him in one of the school buildings, where he was raped, beaten and made to swear a bond of allegiance to Siefriet and his heretic beliefs - effectively casting his wings aside. When Erik asks Juli 'are my wings no good to you? I could give you one of mine,' Juli fully understands Thomas' feelings.
With this revelation, Juli decides to leave Schlotterbetz and join a seminary in Bonn to become a priest - accepting Thomas's wings and embracing the future in his own way.
Background (AU!Canon; HP): dog Julusmole was born in Germany to a muggle-born father and pure-blood mother, who married against her family's wishes. After moving to the UK for a short while to escape their disapproval, he had an initially happy childhood with his younger sister and loving family in a small home in Wiltshire where his father set up a sprawling business. Initially, it was successful and it seemed as though they could live happily in England together, but after some time the business failed and the family ran into trouble. Soon afterwards - as if not enough misfortune had struck his family - Juli's father passed away suddenly, leaving a mountain of debt in his place. Unable to handle the financial ruin alone with two children, his mother returned to Germany with her children to live with the support of her pure-blood family. Though his grandmother paid the debts back in full and took them in, it was there that Juli faced, for the first time, the disapproval and resentment of a community of racists and blood purists. While Juli showed great promise in magic as opposed to his sickly younger sister, his strong resemblance to his dark, muggle-born father caused them to shun him and criticize him despite his abilities. However, he was a quiet, obedient boy and he took all this in his stride, eventually developing into a guarded but very intelligent boy who was devoted to his mother and sister. Capable of treating his other family members with what seemed to be deep respect, there was little for them to complain about and life returned to an unsteady sort of equilibrium.
At the age of 11, Juli began attending Durmstrang institute in Northern Europe where he was well-liked for his academic skill and friendly demeanor, despite his half-blood status. Excelling in all his classes and maintaining a place as reserve on the famed Durmstrang quidditch team, he gained a reputation as the student that never got a question wrong. Having earned the respect of his teachers and upperclassmen, he was slated to become a prefect the next year, and was also popular with the younger students - accumulating a few admirers of either sex - though out of them all, a boy called Thomas stood out. Thomas' own popularity made him a familiar face and his outright devotion spawned gossip and speculation among the student body, but Juli tolerated the attention he received. Despite the rumours, his guarded nature was an asset and it seemed as though he was truly on the road to fulfilling his goal of achieving well and paying back his family's debt.
However, things took a turn for the worse in the spring of his third year. His position as the library's occasional student supervisor lead him to meet Siefriet, a deviant but intellectual senior mired in the study of the dark arts. At times curious about Siefriet's research subject, Juli began reading some of the same books and Siefriet took notice of this, using it to ensnare Juli in a cruel trap. As the situation back in his family home was worsening due to his little sister's illness, Juli decided to stay in Durmstrang over the spring holidays, spending much of his time in the library reading. Siefriet, who had stayed behind for the holidays with a small group of his friends who were serving detention sentences, took this opportunity to invite Juli to a secluded part of the castle and organized a ritual of sorts - an experiment in dark magic eventually culminating in the rape and psychological breakdown of the school's star student. Unable to heal his wounds by the usual magical means, the school hushed the incident up and expelled the seniors for truancy. Juli was allowed to continue at Durmstrang, but he still bore the physical and psychological scars of the attack.
School eventually returned to normal, but despite his composed appearance, Juli had changed. Feeling out of place and traumatised by the events of that evening, he could no longer tolerate Thomas' frequent assertions of devotion, feeling unworthy of the quiet boy's affection after being tainted by Siefriet's curse. Frightened and guilty for feeling anything for Thomas at all, he rejected him cruelly in front of the whole school. Soon afterwards, during the Christmas holiday of his fourth year, Thomas was reported dead after an accident at a railroad bridge, leaving nothing behind but a letter addressed to Julusmole:
"Here is my love. Here is the sound of my heart. Surely you will understand."
Soon after the incident, Juli petitioned for a transfer to Hogwarts in an attempt to get away from his bad memories at Durmstrang. His belief was that in a new environment, far away from both his family and Durmstrang, there would be no students to gossip about his past or Thomas' death, and he would be finally be free to run away from the past that haunted him and be capable of moving on.... days
How would your character fit in to each House?
Gryffindor: Juli can certainly be seen as brave, courageous and loyal, having dealt with a lot of harsh words, violence and frankly racist treatment from his own family. However, after the incidents, he feels that claiming such a thing would be an outright lie. Having broken in front of Siefriet and admitting his attraction for him, he is now incapable of trusting others; his loyalty to his friends survives only in the way he pushes them away, believing he no longer deserves to be with them, but keeping up chivalrous appearances in order that no one suspects anything of his true nature.
Hufflepuff: Juli has worked hard all his life in order to prove his worth to his family, choosing to study hard and become successful in order to pay off his father's debts. As an outcast in his own family, he is tolerant of criticism and very accepting of all sorts of people, taking others as he sees them, though holding them at arm's length. Since the events that transpired, he hardly ever exposes his true self in front of anyone, and his sense of 'fair play' is through placing everyone on an equal playing field away from his own - finding the idyllic atmosphere of friendship too sickening for someone he believes is as tainted as himself.
Ravenclaw: As a model student, Juli is intelligent and capable, applying himself to his studies almost obsessively. He rises early and sleeps late, believing that with academic and commercial prowess he will be able to prove his worth to his mother's family. Though his mind is fragile, his wits are sharp and he is capable of throwing people off his trail through shrewdness and intellectual intimidation. He enjoys following difficult scholarly treatises and even occasionally forays into controversial concepts - it's hinted that his academic curiosity was part of what lead him astray in his attraction to Siefriet and is therefore capable of taking him far off the beaten track of what can be considered 'correct' for his society.
Slytherin: Juli definitely has a self-centred and highly ambitious side. He is a natural leader, capable of gaining the respect of others quickly through his sharp intelligence, or even through quiet intimidation. He is resourceful in using his assets to gain a position of authority despite his traumatic psychological state and proud enough to maintain an aura of normalcy despite his very justified insecurity. Though he is not a pure-blood, he has been brought up among pure-bloods and is very much aware of their point of view. While he may appear to be indifferent to the criticism, he measures himself up to their standards and on some level sees these as truth.
Sample Journal Entry: I don't use this journal often, but I was wondering if anyone happened to have an extra copy of "Theories of Transubstantial Transfiguration" with them. The one in the library is exceptionally bad tempered and appears to want to whack me over the head if I so much as touch a page. Is there any trick to handling it? I suppose it isn't entirely essential for anything in particular, but I did want to look something up for a bit of clarification.
Sample Interaction Post in Third Person:
Getting up in the morning was a chore. Often Juli would sleep later and rise earlier than those who shared his dorm, partially because he used the time to study or write letters home, but also because he remained self-conscious of the scars that criss-crossed his body. Despite the privacy curtains, it was a comfort to know that there was no danger of being surprised or observed at this hour. Though he had not been here long, Hogwarts' atmosphere seemed to bring him a lot of comfort - and he did not want to ruin it with the unnecessary questions that would ultimately ensue if the unusual markings were seen. The sprawling castle was much warmer and far brighter than Durmstrang, and despite the still darkness of the Scottish winter, it was nothing compared to the endless nights up in Northern Europe. His move had been sudden, and at times his mind would dwell on Thomas, the events that transpired and the people he had left behind - but he felt positive about the atmosphere and he did not want to linger on things that would interfere with his attempts at making a new life.
Deftly buttoning his shirt all the way up to the top button and looping his tie neatly in place, he made his way down to the common room to do some extra reading as his fellow housemates stirred. He listened to the various groups of boys and girls walking around and talking to each other as they dressed in the many rooms above him, almost jealous of their carefree nature. Still, this morning, he feel ready to take what he felt to be the final step. Slowly pulling from his pocket the letter Thomas had sent him just before his death, he ripped it up and disposed of it in the common-room fire as the first of his housemates trickled down towards the Great Hall to get breakfast. He followed the group, swept up in the hustle and bustle of morning life.
Today, his new life would start.
Today, everything would be on track again.