A PICNIC WIHT JUDAS ISCARIOT IS GOING FANTASTIC AND VAMPIRE LETTERS ARE IN ROUTE AGAIN.

[hating_hunter]

ITS GONNA BE A GREAT SUMMER FOR WRITING. and i pulled through my semester from hell with 5 A's and one b+. I am invincible. but lets please not do this again. Also my philosophy teacher gave me an a- and is gonna read koshchei. i have seen him for the last time and it is sad because I lvoe him dearly. but in theory i'll get his feedback soon.

oh the

Comments

[laurelle27]

In the third paragraph I think you meant "dessert" instead of "desert". Normally I wouldn't mention it, but I didn't know if you were planning on submitting this for anything. :)

Also, in the 9th paragraph, you wrote that "she looked up" but this is already stated in the 7th paragraph... unless she looked back down at her food, which you didn't state. It wouldn't be a big deal, except that they're so close together and this is so short.

in the 12th paragraph you switch tenses in the last sentence.

In the 13th paragraph, second sentence, it should be "he was a businessman..."
that's it. Loves

[hating_hunter]

hey thankems! also... do you wanna have a picnic on tues or thurs maybe? I don't have much to offer with groceries currently but we could get some stuff to make some delicious sandwitches and other goodies and have one at a park or a backyard or if it rains on a floor somewhere :)