Multitasking
Yes, that's something I've been getting quite good at lately.
Multitasking. In my understanding of it it simply means: screwing up several things at once.
Disclaimer: Sensitivity removed. Don't mind me, I'm a bitch.
So if you want an update on me that's pretty long:
My dad wants James and I to move out. Like we honestly have someplace else to go. Apparently we haven't kept up to our part of the bargain which is enslaving ourselves to the neverending shithole that is my parent's house. My lesson, however, was in speaking up about what I thought was the "indisputably" retarded dog. Being the sole reason for having to clean the house top-to-bottom every day, I already hated him. I'd say my cleaning lasted about a week, and then it was just sporadic. I didn't care. Shit here, piss there, it basically became a multiple occurance every day that full cans of Febreze, hell...even nuclear devices, couldn't remedy. After putting powder on the carpet and then vaccuuming I learned that it would save the stench for a full day, possibly a day and a half. I was just getting tired and I refused to do that every day. So I spoke up about it.
"You'll leave before My Dog does" was my mom's response.
That hurts. Nice to know that I'm no better than a dog in my mother's eyes. James told me that's one of the worst things he's heard a parent say, but I told him it wasn't like 2 years ago when she told me if she had a gun she'd shoot me. I guess....in being equal I'll just leave it at: fat people use more soap.
James and I are moving in to my our best friend's place. Adam and Sarah are moving into a house 30 seconds away and we'll take over in their old place. Well since we fight every day and it's a constant wonder if our relationship is going to make it I question how this will turn out. Will it be any better than the previous situations where we've been living together: since.we.started.dating
Oh well. If we break up that means he's moving back to Michigan so I'm really the only reason he's here(?). That puts pressure on me to stick with him because if he moves back to Michigan his friends here are gonna be hella pissed at me!
Then I'd be living at Adam and Sarah's old place myself. Only problem with that--living alone--is that it's always my turn to do the dishes.
I love him very much, probably more than I've ever loved anyone before. I'm just tired of the constant "Where were you? Was there anyone in the car with you? You think (insert any guy's name here) is hot. You have the hots for this NY guy." Nagging about my personal health, sex-which hasn't been an issue as of lately- and more of pretty much the most typical problematic relationship questions you could think of. That and of course my parents growing animosity of him (which is fueled by his dislike of my mother since living here. Also in disagreeing with the way she treats me versus my sister, and having his own opinions of my sister--which I will leave out of here in fear of starting a lj war.)
I've been offered a job in Largo making $17.50 an hour plus commissions, but I don't know if it's worth the drive from New Port Richey. And if it's worth giving up my current job which has been paying the bills very well lately. (Except my credit card, which we both need to stop using.) Hey, at least I can visit Rachel, assuming she still lives there. Haven't talked to her in a while!
I guess my moving away always consists of the farthest place away from home I could get. Living on campus at Stetson was the best place in the world for me. My "home" was about 4 + 1/2 hours away. My "real home" was at Stetson. I can't wait to go back. I'm going to buy a new clarinet after by Stetson bill is paid off. ----Which by the way I've been paying off myself so all those catty and viperous people that are still attending Stetson that don't have to pay for shit can bite my asshole---- (I think I'm the only person who knows who I'm thinking of)
It'll mean so much to me when I get back to school because I worked damn hard to get back and that going back to school was worth anything to me. Yeah I'll be going to school as a freshman when my ex-roommate is going to be a senior, but I don't give a shit. That means one less year I have to deal with her disgusting looks she gives me.
My parents thought they were teaching me a lesson by not helping me out with paying the $4,000 I was in debt from withdrawing from school. It's not like I'm reminded of my attempted suicide every single time I write a check or look at my balance. To me that balance is my road to wellness. Once I'm free of that chain that's holding me down I believe I'll be alright. I know I had a problem. A problem that isn't really understood by people who haven't had that problem before. If people knew things that have happened in my life and how they had affected me they would understand what happened at Stetson two years ago.
Ok well I better go because James is up and he's on the war path. I'll finish this entry later.
So I went outside to smoke a cig with him before he left for work (it's 5:30 btw, he doesn't have to leave until six or so) and he basically said I was being a bitch. I apologized and he still left mad.
Disclaimer: Sensitivity removed. Don't mind me, I'm a bitch.
So if you want an update on me that's pretty long:
My dad wants James and I to move out. Like we honestly have someplace else to go. Apparently we haven't kept up to our part of the bargain which is enslaving ourselves to the neverending shithole that is my parent's house. My lesson, however, was in speaking up about what I thought was the "indisputably" retarded dog. Being the sole reason for having to clean the house top-to-bottom every day, I already hated him. I'd say my cleaning lasted about a week, and then it was just sporadic. I didn't care. Shit here, piss there, it basically became a multiple occurance every day that full cans of Febreze, hell...even nuclear devices, couldn't remedy. After putting powder on the carpet and then vaccuuming I learned that it would save the stench for a full day, possibly a day and a half. I was just getting tired and I refused to do that every day. So I spoke up about it.
"You'll leave before My Dog does" was my mom's response.
That hurts. Nice to know that I'm no better than a dog in my mother's eyes. James told me that's one of the worst things he's heard a parent say, but I told him it wasn't like 2 years ago when she told me if she had a gun she'd shoot me. I guess....in being equal I'll just leave it at: fat people use more soap.
James and I are moving in to my our best friend's place. Adam and Sarah are moving into a house 30 seconds away and we'll take over in their old place. Well since we fight every day and it's a constant wonder if our relationship is going to make it I question how this will turn out. Will it be any better than the previous situations where we've been living together: since.we.started.dating
Oh well. If we break up that means he's moving back to Michigan so I'm really the only reason he's here(?). That puts pressure on me to stick with him because if he moves back to Michigan his friends here are gonna be hella pissed at me!
Then I'd be living at Adam and Sarah's old place myself. Only problem with that--living alone--is that it's always my turn to do the dishes.
I love him very much, probably more than I've ever loved anyone before. I'm just tired of the constant "Where were you? Was there anyone in the car with you? You think (insert any guy's name here) is hot. You have the hots for this NY guy." Nagging about my personal health, sex-which hasn't been an issue as of lately- and more of pretty much the most typical problematic relationship questions you could think of. That and of course my parents growing animosity of him (which is fueled by his dislike of my mother since living here. Also in disagreeing with the way she treats me versus my sister, and having his own opinions of my sister--which I will leave out of here in fear of starting a lj war.)
I've been offered a job in Largo making $17.50 an hour plus commissions, but I don't know if it's worth the drive from New Port Richey. And if it's worth giving up my current job which has been paying the bills very well lately. (Except my credit card, which we both need to stop using.) Hey, at least I can visit Rachel, assuming she still lives there. Haven't talked to her in a while!
I guess my moving away always consists of the farthest place away from home I could get. Living on campus at Stetson was the best place in the world for me. My "home" was about 4 + 1/2 hours away. My "real home" was at Stetson. I can't wait to go back. I'm going to buy a new clarinet after by Stetson bill is paid off. ----Which by the way I've been paying off myself so all those catty and viperous people that are still attending Stetson that don't have to pay for shit can bite my asshole---- (I think I'm the only person who knows who I'm thinking of)
It'll mean so much to me when I get back to school because I worked damn hard to get back and that going back to school was worth anything to me. Yeah I'll be going to school as a freshman when my ex-roommate is going to be a senior, but I don't give a shit. That means one less year I have to deal with her disgusting looks she gives me.
My parents thought they were teaching me a lesson by not helping me out with paying the $4,000 I was in debt from withdrawing from school. It's not like I'm reminded of my attempted suicide every single time I write a check or look at my balance. To me that balance is my road to wellness. Once I'm free of that chain that's holding me down I believe I'll be alright. I know I had a problem. A problem that isn't really understood by people who haven't had that problem before. If people knew things that have happened in my life and how they had affected me they would understand what happened at Stetson two years ago.
Ok well I better go because James is up and he's on the war path. I'll finish this entry later.
So I went outside to smoke a cig with him before he left for work (it's 5:30 btw, he doesn't have to leave until six or so) and he basically said I was being a bitch. I apologized and he still left mad.