Speechless, Prologue-2/3
Title: Speechless
Pairing: Joick
Book: Prologue
Part: 2/3
Warning(s): Incest, slash, abuse, alcohol abuse, swearing, e.g.
A/N: This is my worst chapter, I must admit, but some people had me in a haste, so I did what I could to get some plot going somewhat. I promise new chapters will be way better plotted and formatted than this one. Please, your ideas and comments are more than welcome :X , so I can find out how to improve.
Nick ran upstairs. His parents punished him for a month for sneaking out and making "Joe lie for him" even though Joe said he didn't. Taylor. How was he supposed to see Taylor now? This just couldn't be. No, he'd just have to keep sneaking out; even if it killed him, because he sure as Hell wasn't ready to be killed by anything or anyone else.
Joe walked into their joint bedroom, a sincere look of apology scripted into his eyes. "Nick-" Joe tried to begin, but Nick held up his hand to stop him. As much as Nick wanted to be mad at Joe, he couldn't. It wasn't completely in his power to be able to prevent the confrontation, and Nick knew that, but he just didn't know what to do. "Not necessary," Nick tried to continue on, "I'll just find another way to continue," and Joe knew exactly what that meant, he cringed at the thought of Nick continuing to visit that guy. He never smiled anymore, and that hurt Joe more than anything. That beautiful smile. Was it now only reserved for his new man? Did Nick forget that there where other people in his life? Why would Nick be so selfish as to not even smile. That smile. If he did reserve it for Taylor... he couldn't finish the thought, and he couldn't help the stab of jealousy hit him square in the heart.
Joe just blinked, stared out his curtainless window into the night sky, and walked over to his bed. He was bored. Maybe he needed a boyfriend. Humph, like anyone would want him, he thought.
"So, is there anything you want to do tonight?" Nick asked Joe, trying to replace the boredom by using Joe as rebound. "Not sure, maybe a movie downstairs?" Joe asked. "Hmm, Madea?" Nick asked and smiled, the first smile within months to be seen finally. And Joe couldn't help but smile as well from face to face either.
"What?" Nick asked, curious as to why his brother is suddenly smiling face to face.
"Nothing, just-I haven't seen you smile in months, Nicky,"
Nick tensed visibly, and Joe's smile faded just as quickly as it was painted onto his face. Nick only smiled because he thought he might as well make this night worth it; earlier on, he began to think of something, something he knew he had to do. But now, it had been brought to Nicks attention. He didn't know what to say so just looked the other way, creating an awkward silence in the room.
"Nick-" Joe began, "You'd tell me anything if anything was happening right?" Joe asked, eyes beginning to water somewhat.
"Yeah, of course," Nick said dishonestly. He just couldn't tell Joe; he wouldn't understand. Nobody loved Nick, only Taylor could. Nobody wanted a douchébag like Nick, a scum of the earth, piece of shit faggot like Nick. Taylor had said so himself. And it was true, only Taylor could love him. Only Taylor. But no matter, Joe could tell that was a straight up lie. And he officially knew then, that something was up.
"Nick-are y-y-you h-h-happy, Nick?" Joe stuttered, already knowing Nick was going to lie, but he just couldn't understand why his brother would keep secret from him; after all they'd been throguh, Joe trusted Nick more than anybody in the entire world.
Nick turned even more away, and said "Yeah, of course, why wouldn't I be?" Fucking retard, Nick thought.
"Nothing, never mind, just asking," and Joe let out an awkward chuckle. "Lets go see that movie now, how bout it?" Joe smiled, fake as plastic. "Yeah," Nick mumbled, looking at Joe and returning the same plastic smile but in his eyes, you could see his soul.
They walked downstairs, into their private basement. The carpet was black, the walls where black, and in the far left corner, there was a white baby grand. Their Dad had saved up his tax money for 5 years, and gave it to the boys to redesign the basement; making it theirs completely. The walls had posters of Elvis Costello, Britney Spears (courtesy of Joe), Vampire Weekend, and a whole bunch of other artists and silly things. In the center corner ofthe room where about four seats, 2 love seats in a square, all right in front of a 62" Plasma screen. The had a lot more decor in it too, guitars hanging, a little corner had a recording booth and all. The basement was insanely huge; it was the boys's paradise.
The boys made their way onto the middle loveseat in front of the screen and began to browse through the ON Demand movies list. Nick got up to get a quilt for him and Joe, and Joe picked Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself. It wasn't mainly Madea, but it had Madea in it, and that was good enough for the two. Joe smirked, he loved this movie.
Nick came back with a quilt, as Joe comforted himself, Nick stood to wait so he could lay on Joe's chest. It was normal for the boys, they'd always been so affectionate towards each other, and since Nick had been dating Taylor, he'd become less affectionate. It was cold in the room, and Nick was fully clothed, barely showing an inch of skin, but Joe didn't think anything of it.
As Nick settled down onto Joe, wincing every few moments, he turnt his attention to the movie. Joe couldn't feel more happier. But he was a bit worried; Nick was shaking-a lot. Maybe he was just nervous, Joe thought. But about what? Joe just overlooked it somewhat, watching the movie, and raking his hands through his brothers curls. Once he had began to do that, Nick began to calm down. Joe could always be the one to calm Nick down... always. Nick smelt of shampoo and soap; he showered right after he got home and was confronted by his parents. Poor boy. Taylor must be something really special to Nick. And if it's what Nick "says" what makes him happy, then who was Joe to say otherwise; but he still kept his guard up, no matter what.
Eventually Nick's breathing had evened out and he was sleeping on Joe. He looked so peaceful. He looked like... Nick? Joe thought. Once the movie had ended and the credits where playing, Joe just admired his little brother.
Joe had known he'd loved Nick for a long time. All his life maybe. But he didn't recognize the feelings until he was older, but he knew Nick was the one. Since the day he was born, Nick was his world. Joe didn't know though. Their relaionship became more confusing as Nick had grown. When they where little, they where inseperable. They'd steal kisses on the mouths, hug each other for too long, and sleep together. Always, when they where little. The kissing stopped when Nick was 15. A year ago. They where caught by Kevin, and even though they thought it was innocent, Kevin had other views. One didn't really think of it as much as the other; just practice or fooling around was the excuse. The blame.
Joe was snapped out of his thoughts at the ON Demand home screen coming up, eminating light into the room, advertising other movies or shows. Nick still looked so beautifuly peaceful, and Joe didn't have it in him to wake him, so he picked him up slowly and carefully, took the blanket off with one arm and threw it, he'd be back to pick up later. He started to walk up the stairs, making sure not to disturb Nick, and he entered the main floor, heading towards the second set of stairs, Nick moved somewhat in Joe's arm. Joe couldn't help but smile. He walked up the stairs and went into their room, turning on the light while he was at it.
When he went to go put Nick down onto his bed, that's when he saw it. The bruise and cut on his hip. He stiffened and almost dropped Nick onto the bed. Nick, being a heavy sleeper and all did nothing but move a little. No, it couldn't be, Joe thought. Maybe it was an accident? He probably hit himself that's it. But maybe he should check to see if there was anything more. He didn't know why he was trembling as he reached to lift up Nick's shirt. "Noooo," Joe let out a small but very audible gasp and sob.
His body was marked, bruises almost everywhere. No, Nicky. No! What was going on. Joe's breathing hitched and he just didn't know what to do. He began to cry, to sob. He was his big brother. How could he let Nick get hurt. How could he?
Nick awoke, staring at his brother crying, he rose, alarmed. "What's the matter Joey?" Nick looked at Joe, hit eyes wide, and looked into Joe's eyes; fear right smack in the middle of them. At the mention of Joe's name, he began to sob more. How could he not tell Joe? How come Joe couldn't see this!? It was all too much. "Nick-" was all Joe could get out. Repeating it over and over again. Joe failed Nick, he failed to protect him. "Whats the matter Jay?" Nick asked again, looking at Joe, pleading for him to tell him what was the matter. Then, he noticed that he wasn't in the basement, he was in his room. Joe must have brought him up. Joe. "Oh shit!" Nick muttered. Joe was to terrified to talk. He was left speechless. He couldn't, could he? Nick thought. Joe couldn't have seen the marks.
"Joe, WHATS THE MATTER?" Nick asked again, his voice trembling this time. And that's when Joe shut down. Right then and there, the last tear fell and he zoned out. God, he thought. I'm going to kill that bastard. Rage flew through Joe's eyes, and before he knew it, he was standing.
"Nick, I-I-I hurt myself," Joe stuttered. "Uhm, why don't we call your boyfriend. I need some alcohol," Joe said. Nick had a confused face on him but didn't ask any questions. If Joe didn't like Taylor, why would he ask him for a favor? But alcohol, maybe Taylor could get it for him. And then Nick could talk to him. Explain how he got grounded. It had only ren 5 hours since he was home. Yeah. Nick thought.
"You okay?" Nick asked again, unsure of what to do.
"Yeah. Just, just get my phone," Joe said, "It's over there on the bureau," he pointed towards the bureau.
"Okay," Nick said. And that's all it took for Joe's brain to start working again. Yehp, he'd kill him. He wouldn't let Nick know he knew. After all, it could only be Taylor who could do that. Nobody else would hurt Nick. Right?
***
Nick had called Taylor over, and he had come by real quick with some Cîroc Platinum Vodka. Joe went out to take it, he told Nick to stay inside. Nick obeyed, not knowing why he did but he couldn't help but feel a bit nervous.
As Joe went outside, he said hi to Taylor, he stepped out to greet Joe, a fake smile on his face. As he handed the bottle to Joe, Joe took it lifted it up and smashed Taylors head with it. "What the-?" Came from Taylors mouth before he was hit. All that rage that had built up in Joe he was venting, throwing kicks, punches, screaming and all. "How," gasp, "fucking," gasp, "dare," gasp, "you," gasp, stop, "ever, fucking, lay, a hand on my brother," and everything went white. Last thing he knew was that he was screaming "Ill fucking kill you, Ill kill you you son of a bitch!" and he took the broken glass and tried to attack Taylor again before he was pulled back.
"Joseph," was all he could hear, his name bring repeated, sobs coming from his mouth, his body trembling, and Nick screaming. He heard "I'll get you, fucker!" from Taylor, a car door slam, and a car speed off.
The hands restraining him tightened as he sobbed and moved around uncontrolably. How could he let him get away! Why didn't he kill him! He failed to protect his brother and he didn't even kill the mother fucker who hurt him.
Then everything blacked out.
***
Joe woke up to the sun light hitting his eyes. Taylor hadn't hit him, it really wasn't even a fight, he thought. Taylor. Rage pent up again. Nicky? He opened his eyes, and got up.
"I'm here," he heard a gravelly voice say from behind as he got up. He turnt around to see Nick in a corner.
"Dad didn't ask any questions, he just said we can talk tomorrow,"
"Hmph," Joe muttered. There was nothing to say. He failed to kill the bastard. What more could he say???
"Why?"
The question caught Joe off guard. He tensed. "You know why Nick," he grilled through his teeth, "I saw the marks Nick, I saw them," and Nick gasped. He knew it.
"Please don't say anything!" Nick called out in desperation. And Joe turned around, disgust stencilled onto his face. "What!?" Joe screamed. He couldn't beleieve what he just heard. He must be wrong. But he knew he wasn't.
Then, and right there he gave up. He read about abuse victims before. But he wasn't going to force Nick. He'd always be there for him, and he knew he'd come around some time, but he was giving up. He decided, "Either you leave him, or I go," Joe said under his breath. Nick stiffened. It wasn't the response he expected. But he didn't know what to do.
He couldn't loose Taylor. In fact, he needed to go to Taylors and make everthing better. But Nick couldn't lose Joe either. But Joe would come back, he wouldn't go. So Nick called his "bluff", "Go then," Nick said, looking down.
Joe stiffened. He let a tear escape and then he said nothing more. He was 18 and could leave to wherever he wanted to. So with no need to say anything he got a few duffel bags and started packing. He wasn't fighting. No he wasn't. 6 months of putting up with Nicks bull shit was enough. He'd learn. He was being dramatic, but if Nick didn't want him to tell his parents about it, he'd have to pay the price. Joe couldn't do both things, stay and not say a word. He was pretty sure he fucked up Taylor bad, but everything in Joe's life was screwing up, so Joe really didn't have any fight left in him for anybody.
He finished packing, took him 45 minutes. Nick sat in the corner, stiff and sobbing. Joe had nothing left to say. He wrote a note for his family, called his best friend David and asked if he could crash there until he got up on his feet, and left the house, not a word left to say.
***
Nick got ahold of the house phone and called Taylor. His parents where still asleep and everybody else too. It was afternoon. Wow, late night sleepers.
The phone rang and he picked up. "Babe, babe!" Nick practically screamed, "Im sorry, Im sorry!" he sobbed again. Taylor stayed silent on the other line. "Please, I didn't know he was going to hurt you, please forgive me," Nick pleaded lowly.
"Oh, I forgive you," Taylor said coldly. A smirk was on his face over the line. "Oh god, thank you!" Nick said, still crying. "I really am sorry, I promise I'll make up for what he did and take care of you," Nick hurriedly said.
"Oh that's alright," Taylor said, "Why don't we meet up later on tonight, at the place we met, let's say around 12?" Taylor smirked. "Yeah, perfectly fine, I promise babe, I'll make it up to you,"
Nick gabbled again.
"Oh yes, you will, I promise you that,"
Taylor cooly said, and Nick unknowingly cringed. He wasn't thinking right. "So see you then?"