But you're hurting me from inside of my head

[have_your_lives]

[Filtered to the Legion of Doom, Edward Nigma, and pretty much everyone he's contacted in regards to this post]

I think our friend Nigma has, once again, neglected to consider the finer points of telepathy...as, perhaps, all of you may have. Namely, if he's asking you all for ways to defeat a telepath, then he doesn't have any now. So he's

Comments

[Filtered]

[puzzlerprince]

[How did the old saying go? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer? In regards to the latest riddle Edward's still trying to wrap his mind around---"How to defeat a telepath?"---the Riddler has already learned three new crucial details about his newfound nemesis.

1.) Schuldig's telepathic range extends far further than he had anticipated.

2.) Not only does Schuldig now know many of Edward's secrets, he now has a list of practically everyone the Riddler's allied himself with in Mayfield.

3.) Telepaths are goddamn cheaters.]

What---what the hell do you think you're doing?!

[have_your_lives]

Giving your friends fair warning? Since it seems you failed to.

[hungry_monster]

[Oh hey he remembers you. You were interesting. And since you read Edward's mind you probably know Johan here has a hobby of terrorizing the guy.]

Hello Schuldig.

Are you two fighting? Or are you simply pointing out his weaknesses?

[Either way, this is amusing.]

[have_your_lives]

[Oh, Schuldig hasn't forgotten you, either. Johan is so similar to Schuldig in mindset that the telepath has actually been meaning to contact the man again anyway.] Hello, Johan.

I'm minding my own business, really. Edward seems to have dubbed himself my arch-nemesis all on his own, however. The fact that he's terrible at it is painfully obvious.

[hungry_monster]

You'd think someone like him would avoid making new enemies.

But somehow I'm not surprised.

[have_your_lives]

He's not even half as smart as he likes to think. I should know.

What have you been up to since last we talked, anyway?

[1800deadpoo]

Ooh, you're the telepath, huh? [Does not sound even remotely intimidated.] Tell me what number I'm thinkin' of!

[Incidentally, he's thinking of pie. Not the number, the actual food. With bananas and cream. God, he's hungry right now, who does he have to kill to get a decent pie around here? Because he'll do it! Maybe he'll head back to that diner, that waitress babe's pies might have tasted like garbage, but seeing as how Deadpool's eaten actual garbage before, he doesn't mind as long as it's a hottie serving it to him. Hey, waste not, want not, right? Just goes to show even more what bastards clowns are, throwing around perfectly good pies into each others' faces while there were starving mercenaries around!

Because seriously, man. Fuck clowns. Fuck. Clowns.]

[have_your_lives]

This was a courtesy call, not an invitation to do parlor tricks. [Read: your mind makes my head hurt.]

[1800deadpoo]

C'mon, if you've got these powers, might as well have fun with 'em! Man, does every telepath just come with their own handy-dandy stick up the ass? It's like Nate all over again - he's always like, 'No, Deadpool, I'm too busy being broody and sacrificing myself to save the world and fulfill my huge honkin' Messiah complex to make the president do the chicken dance on live TV' even though it would only take him a second, and really, after all I've done for him - other than, yanno, tryin' to kill him - is that too much to ask for?

[have_your_lives]

Oh, I have lots of fun with my powers. But do you really think telling you what number you're thinking of is all that entertaining? Come on, there's better uses for it than that.

[cramschoolgod]

Naturally, if your telepathy is as strong as that, there's nothing he would have been able to do to avoid it eventually in the first place. And some strategies don't depend on information being private, which, one would hope, he is intelligent enough to discover or resourceful enough to research.

Additionally, there are things you may know but not understand. For example, Edward Nigma may be the organizer, but not necessarily be 'the horse' that is being bet on.

[have_your_lives]

What I understand is that Edward has a private grudge that he's trying to drag others into in order to settle. He begrudges me everything I am, so he'd have people like you help him kill me.

Up until now, I've been tolerant, since he's been nothing so much as amusing. If you're determined to help him become an actual threat, however...what happens to him, and to those who help him, is on your head, and your poor judgment.

[cramschoolgod]

It's like that, is it?

[She's interested in the outcome, though in honesty she doesn't care who wins, particularly as death is not permanent. She just wonders how one should defeat a telepath. She voices the rest of her thoughts openly:]

It would hardly be a fair or interesting contest if he didn't draw on all his resources, as he seems to be more or less a normal human, though one with a facility for puzzles. And one of those resources is his organizational abilities.

Still, I don't have any material advantages to offer him [advice not being material], in any case, so I think I'll consider myself mostly absolved from that responsibility.

[Pause.] Everything you are. You mean he's jealous of your telepathy, or something else besides?

[have_your_lives]

My telepathy, my intelligence, my good looks, my codename, my ability to actually succeed at things, my lack of daddy issues, the fact that I'm married to the woman he likes, the fact that the woman he likes probably trusts me more than him because he stabbed her in the back and got her messily killed...there's probably more, but it's honestly tedious to even think of them all. Men have certainly murdered for less.

The fact is that it's not a contest, except in his own head. I'm not trying to kill him...though I suppose if he keeps angling for a way to kill me, he might just force my hand.

[WHAT A FILTER]

[wristsniper]

You already knew who I was, didn't you?

[have_your_lives]

Granted. You're not exactly a wallflower, Major General.

But now I know you're being asked to help him, which is news.

[wristsniper]

Tch. He wanted information about the town. Like most men, he assumes he's in further than he is.

[have_your_lives]

[There's a brief pause, and then Schuldig bursts into laughter.

Sorry, Olivier, he's going to be a minute.]