Three Weeks Later: Nightmares, Sex, And Showering
Three weeks went by and bit by bit Jason and Dick slipped into a routine. It was surprisingly easy to get used to having Jason around. In fact, after the initial awkwardness of their arrangements passed, Dick found that he was glad to have him there. Dick was a social creature by nature and he craved attention, so having someone at home when he got home from work or from...other work made him very happy. They slept in the same bed because the couch was bad for Jason with his hurt arm and it was bad for Dick who got little enough sleep as it was, without having to deal with squeezing himself on a couch every night. They ate meals together when they could, which was good because it meant that Dick was reminded to eat on a regular basis and forced to not be lazy about cooking.
Unfortunately, whatever happiness Dick got from having Jason around wasn't always enough to offset the stress of his unusual life. Sleep was always in short supply and lately it had been even worse. The gang war that Jason had predicted was in full swing and Dick was run ragged on duty as a police office and off duty as Nightwing. And, worse, no matter how much he did, it never seemed to be enough. People kept dying - often gang members but equally often wives or girlfriends or children that were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Dick had not felt this utterly helpless and alone in a long, long time. There was only one of him and he didn't know enough people, didn't have the leads or the contacts...or maybe he just wasn't good enough. That thought always nagged at his mind, even when he came home and stripped off his costume or his uniform and fell into bed in a bone-tired sleep, the thought was there.
It had been a long time since he'd had nightmares about Two-Face. Hell, it had been a long time since he'd had nightmares in general. For a while his life had been in control and he'd been stressed but...dealing with it. It had been good and now...now it wasn't. Now he was having dreams again, dreams that really didn't have anything to do with what had actually happened, but had everything to do with feeling small and helpless and alone. A little bird with broken wings. And of course, Bruce was there too - sometimes as Batman, sometimes as himself - staring at Dick, his lips pressed into that frown that said quite clearly 'you disapoint me'. Dick faced down terror every day, and he could deal with nightmares, but for a few horrible seconds he was overwhelmed with terror, running from a vague figure that might have been Two-Face. He didn't know and he didn't want to know, he just knew he had to get away because he was so scared that he could barely breathe and if he didn't run he'd die choking and yet he couldn't run. He was on his knees, helpless and Two-Face was there and he couldn't breathe. It was all going black. And then he was awake, suddenly, with a low, choked sound somewhere between a whimper and a yell. For a second he was a child again, terrified of the very blackness of his room. He had to force that terror down and even after he did that he still sat in his bed, shaking uncontrolably and wondering how long he would live like this before he went insane.
The routine he slipped into with Dick was getting comfortable. Maybe too comfortable, but Jason wasn't going to let go of this comfort until Dick kicked him out. He had tried to force himself out of the habit of cuddling up against Dick during the night, but that was usually hit or miss, depending. Tonight, he had kept to his side of the bed, not cuddled up against Dick when Dick woke with a choked scream. Jason jolted from his sleep, automatically wondering what the hell was going. Then he saw Dick sitting up on his side of the bed, curled up and shaking. Jason's brows furrowed in worry as he moved closer to Dick. "Dick?" he questioned in a whisper.
Dick startled and it was only the fact that he'd had a second or two to calm down that kept him from lashing out wildly at Jason. He remembered that the person next to him was safe, not a threat, and a second later he remembered that it was Jason. Though they'd grown closer in the last few weeks, they weren't yet at the point where Dick really wanted to let Jason see him like this. Or, more accurately, Dick never wanted to let anyone see his fear. His weakness. They would be disapointed in him, lose faith in him. He didn't want that, especially not with Jason, and he felt his stomach roll over with a sickly feeling of shame. "Sorry. Bad dream. Go back to sleep...." he muttered. His voice sounded hoarse and lacked the strength and energy it usually had.
Okay, now Jason was really concerned as he reached out touch Dick's shoulder. "Are you sure you're okay?" Jason asked carefully, a little weirded out by this. Dick having a nightmare didn't make Jason think any less of him. It was the opposite, and Jason was amazed that Dick could sleep at all with working as a cop and as Nightwing. He must see horrible things everyday with those jobs. Plus, he came from Gotham, and if Gotham didn't give someone nightmares, Jason had no idea what would.
The touch actually caused Dick to flinch, which surprised even him. He was used to having people around, being close to them, but he was used to it always, always being on his terms. That way he could always dictate how open he let himself be and guard against vulnerability. "I'm fine." His voice was flat and distant. He was not fine. He was scared - both of the dream and of the memories it stirred up. Unlike other people, Dick knew that he wasn't over-reacting. He could have died then. He could die at any time if he made a mistake and while sometimes that sense of impending doom was a rush, now it was a weight on his shoulders.
"No, you're not," Jason said firmly, moving his hand away from Dick's shoulder. "Even if you sounded halfway believable, I wouldn't have believed you." Jason paused, to think carefully about his next words. "I'm awake now, and I won't get back to sleep, so let me help you." He really wanted to help, though he wasn't sure how he could. Jason really hated feeling so useless, and all he wanted to do was pull Dick into a tight embrace, like he was sure Dick would do for him, but he wasn't sure Dick would react well to it, not after flinching at Jason's hand on his shoulder.
Dick let out a heavy sigh and glanced over at Jason. In the darkened room all he could see was a vague form, mostly just a shadow, with only the side of his face and part of his shoulder outlined in the dim light coming through the window. "All right, so I'm not fine. I will be, in a second...." he said, with an attempt at a grin. It was weak and probably not even visible to Jason anyway. Just having another living, breathing human around was enough to help push down the lingering influence of the nightmare, though Dick wished that Jason were older. If Jason had been been older - and if Dick had any idea of which way Jason swung - he'd have just distracted himself with sex.
Jason bit his lip. "I still don't believe you," he muttered as his eyes took in Dick's form. It was kind of distressing to see him like this, so on an impulse, he wrapped an arm around Dick's shoulders, pulling him into an embrace. He didn't seem to be fighting the touch, and Jason just wanted to be able to comfort him in some way. "Let me help, Dick," he repeated.
For a second Dick hesitated and then let himself lean into Jason's embrace, just the slightest bit. He let out a rather morose little chuckle. "Ah, my loyal little soldier," he murmured. "I appreciate the offer, but I don't think you can give me the help I want." And then he laughed, because even saying that was ridiculous. Jason would ask what he meant and then Dick would have to explain and then Jason would probably not want to sleep in the same bed as him. He wouldn't blame him if it came to that - such things were awkward.
He let the soldier comment slide as he held Dick, since it really bothered him a lot less than it used to. Jason's brows furrowed again as he looked at Dick. "Why can't I?" he asked, wondering what Dick meant. Not that he would say it just yet, but Jason would probably do anything for Dick. That was the kind of power that Dick held over him, and Jason sure as hell wasn't going to let Dick know that. Plus, that'd probably lead to talk about why, and Jason wasn't quite sure he could say it out loud. He barely could admit the why to himself.
"Well, you're a bit young for my tastes, for one thing..." It was meant to sound like a joke, but it fell flat to Dick's ears. But hopefully Jason would catch his meaning and not press the matter. And hopefully he'd not be weirded out or pull away or...leave. God, he didn't want Jason to leave and it was weird to think how attached he'd grown so quickly. Of course, Dick kind of always worked like that. One of his college girlfriends had called him 'passionate', which he supposed was a good word but also suspected it glossed over the reality of his need for affection.
Jason blinked, thinking he must have misheard Dick, because if he hadn't, it had to be some kind of dream. He wasn't sure what to say that, but he was really curious now. "I'm legal in Bludhaven," Jason decided to mutter. It was true, since the age of consent was sixteen in New Jersey. Though, Jason wasn't sure if that meant anything would happen.
There was a long, heavy silence. Dick wasn't sure what to do with that announcement. Jason was right - he was technically legal. But at the same time, Jason was more or less dependant on him at the moment and the last thing Dick wanted was for Jason to think that he had to offer up something like this in payment. He sat up, pulling away from Jason but not distancing himself, just giving himself enough space to look the boy in the eye. For all the good that did, in the darkened room. "I don't want you to think you owe me anything," he said finally. "Because you don't."
"I don't think that," Jason murmured firmly, his heartbeat quickening a bit. "I want to." He paused, looking Dick straight in the eye. "I want you, Dick." Now that was out in the open, Jason felt a great weight off of him, but he was still nervous, thinking that he may have read Dick wrong. After all, was he really thinking straight after a nightmare? It wasn't Jason's nightmare, but he felt like he wasn't thinking straight either. Everything was jumbled, except that he knew he wanted Dick. He had wanted him for a while, but Jason just hid it because otherwise he thought he would lose the only living person in the world that meant anything to him.
That was enough. That was all Dick needed. It was probably selfish and wrong and so many other things, but that was all he needed to hear. He leaned forward, reaching out a hand to cup Jason's jaw, and kissed the boy. As he did it, he realized that he didn't know if this was Jason's first time or not. Hell, he didn't even know if this was Jason's first kiss.
It definitely wasn't Jason's first kiss, but it would be his first time, no matter how far they went. Not that he'd let Dick know that as he kissed Dick back. His heart beating a mile a minute now as he let one of his hands slip into Dick's hair as they kissed.
Dick moved, sliding his hand down to Jason's chest so that he could push the boy back amongst the pillows and straddle him. He moved quickly in these things, in spite of protests by more than a few of his partners. He couldn't help it, it wasn't just sex to him, it was the need to be connected to another person, to feel close to them, to feel like they weren't ever going away and that they loved him unconditionally. He crouched over Jason, kissing him again even as his hands slid over his body, feeling out this new territory.
Jason fell back against the pillows, groaning when Dick straddled him as Dick's hands roved his body. Having no real experience, Jason just kissed Dick while he kept his arms wrapped around Dick's waist, hands roving his back before he got a bit more adventurous and let his hands cup Dick's ass, pulling his hips down as Jason's hips pushed up.
Oh, this had to be wrong, doing this with someone this much younger than him. But Jason seemed eager and willing and... Dick didn't want to admit it, but he wanted Jason badly. The feeling of hands on his ass sent a delighted shiver down his spine and he could feel his excitement growing. Flannel sleep pants did little to hide such things but this time that didn't seem to matter. Dick kissed Jason's lips one last time and then kissed his away along the younger boy's chin until he found his ear. "Tell me what you want me to do..." he murmured, his voice a husky whisper as he delicately nibbled at Jason's earlobe.
With Dick nibbling on his ear, it was impossible to bite back the moan as he gripped Dick's ass. He really wished Dick didn't ask that question because he had no idea how to answer without proving he was a virgin once any words spilled from his mouth. He was nervous, but no because it was his first time. He was nervous because he thought Dick would stop once he found out Jason was a virgin. "That should be my line," he said breaithily, trying to avoid acting like the virgin he so sorely was.
"Hrmph." Dick gave a little huff of displeasure, then shrugged. "I suppose I'll just do whatever I want then." There was no question of him being in control - that was part of what he needed. Not only because it let him keep his guard up, just a bit, but because it meant that he got to please someone else. That was why it never worked out with him and Babs - she was the same way and invariably it became a clash of wills. He loved her, but love didn't mean they were meant to be. But he wasn't thinking of Babs right now. He was thinking of Jason and how long he'd watched him as he was healing and thought about touching. Only in passing, because everyone did that (or so he hoped - maybe he was just a pervert), but now he got look as much as he wanted. And even better, he got to play as well. He kissed Jason's neck and then pulled away, teasing. His hands dipped lower than they'd gone before, sliding between Jason's legs, almost without warning. Moving fast again because he needed to forget the bad things and needed something better to replace them with.
Jason was going to ask what Dick wanted, but the words caught in his throat when Dick's mouth traveled to his neck. When Dick's lips disappeared from his neck, Jason groaned in disappointment, but that didn't last long. Once Dick's hand slide between Jason's legs, the groan turned into moan of appreciation as his hips bucked against Dick's hand. He wasn't used to someone else's touch, and his own touch had only stopped being awkward when he was able to his right hand again.
Jason was noisy. Dick liked that. He grinned, giving Jason's cock a little squeeze, just to get a reaction. And then his hand was sliding upward again, finding its way to the band of Jason's pajamas and slipping beneath it. Now his fingers were sliding over soft, smooth flesh, delicately feeling their way from head to base. As he was doing this he bent low over Jason once more, biting the boy's neck and then moving up towards his ear. "Mmm...I would hate to question your vast experience, but have you ever had anal sex before?" It was difficult to make such a blunt question sound sexy, but Dick somehow managed, pitching his voice low and making his tone suggest that all of this was something exciting and illicit.
He couldn't help but be noisy when it felt like Dick was touching him everywhere at once. It was like sensory overload already. When Dick's hand made contact with Jason's cock, not through material but real contact, Jason just got noisier. It felt wonderful to have someone else's hand on him, and since it was Dick, it was even better. Jason bit back a groan when Dick bit his neck again then tried not to stiffen when Dick asked him the question, though his face definitely flushed. He couldn't lie to Dick now, not with Dick on top of him like that. "My vast experience," Jason started, licking his lips nervously, "is you." That was probably going to send Dick running, but Jason couldn't deny him anything at the moment, let alone lie to him.
That just got a low chuckle from Dick and a kiss on the cheek. "Well then...that's good to know." But he didn't stop. If anything he became more attentive, fingers and lips roaming over every part of Jason's body. Anything that he could reach, he would touch and kiss and bite - though not too hard. That would come later, if Jason liked it. For now, Dick just wanted...he wanted to feel good and he wanted Jason to feel good.
Jason nearly breathed a sigh of relief when Dick didn't move away. Actually, now that was out in the open, Jason felt a lot better about the situation as Dick's hands and mouth roamed his body. He arched into the touches and moaned at the nips of Dick's teeth on his skin. Jason really wanted to make Dick feel as good as he was making Jason feel. "I- What should I be doing for you?" he asked softly between moans.
Another chuckle from Dick. "We'll get to that, don't worry..." He kissed his way up Jason's chest, all the way up to his mouth. "I want this to be good for you..." Although, that said, Dick was still pushing things foward at a rapid pace because his next act was to carefully strip Jason of his clothing. He kept pace though, taking off his own clothes as well so that a second later his naked body was pressed against Jason. "If I'm going too fast, just tell me," he murmured as he ground his hips up against Jason. Even he couldn't help but make a low moan as his cock slid up against Jason's.
Jason really wanted to protest to not doing anything for Dick yet, but he couldn't make a coherent sentence with Dick's mouth on his chest then on his lips. He hardly knew when his clothes were taken off, watching as Dick removed his own clothes. Jason swallowed thickly, taking in Dick's gorgeous body just before that body pressed against Jason's own. "It's not too fast," Jason all but breathed, moaning with Dick as their cocks slid againts each other.
"That's good..." Because Dick didn't want to stop. He desperately needed this contact, this connection with another person. He hadn't realized up until now how much he'd needed it but now that he had it he was gobbling it up like a greedy child. For just a moment he paused to grab lube from his nightstand and then returned his attention to Jason's cock. Tonight he didn't intend to have sex - it was too sudden and there wasn't enough time to prepare Jason. He didn't mind the lack of sex though - this worked just as well and it felt a little more intimate and close. As always, his fingers were deft and delicate as he spread the lube - first over his own cock and then lovingly over Jason's as well.
If Jason's mind wasn't already blown by the fact that this was really happening, he probably would have noticed how greedy for touch Dick was and maybe take advantage of it later. At this point, Jason was getting really close. He didn't have that much experience, but he definitely didn't want to come early. It would completely and utterly embarassing, maybe more embarassing than the time just Dick calling his name down the hall had gotten him off. A really nice shudder went though Jason's body when he felt Dick's fingers spread the lube. As Dick spread the lube, Jason groaned, pushing into Dick's hand.
Dick made a pleased sound as he heard Jason groan. "God, I love it when you do that..." He smiled down at Jason, for just a second watching the younger boy in the dim light of the bedroom. He couldn't see much, but there was just enough light to hint at what was there. Moving slowly he lowered himself down onto Jason once more, grinding their hips together with a hungry need. At first he was content with the friction of that alone, but presently he slid a hand down to grasp both of them, bringing them even closer together. He was close to finished and losing himself in the moment now with his body arched gracefully over Jason's and his head hanging low as he gasped out each panting breath.
Jason felt his body flush more with Dick's words as his breaths came quicker, and he smiled back. He pushed up against Dick greedily, moaning with every move against Dick's body. He was getting so very close, but Jason was trying to hold out was long as possible. Though, once Dick's hand came down to grasp thier cocks, bringing them closer and making even more lovely friction, Jason couldn't hold back any longer. He came, breathily moaning Dick's name as he did.
A few more thrusts would do it for Dick. He came with a low groan and then drew back from Jason with leasurely ease, though he was still breathing heavily as he sat back on his knees. All thoughts of the nightmare had been pushed from his mind, replaced by a fleeting sense of happiness and completion. At the moment he would have liked nothing more than to roll over and go back to sleep, but that really wasn't an option. Jason's chest was sticky with their cum and anyway he couldn't very well get off and then leave the boy to his own devices. So he leaned forward again and pressed a quick kiss to Jason's lips. "You were good. Do you want to take a shower with me?"
When Dick came, Jason was just getting over his own orgasm. Then Dick moved away, and Jason mourned the loss of contact. He didn't mourn it long when Dick pressed a kiss on Jason's lips. "Really?" he asked, hoping that he didn't sound too shocked or hopefully or something equally stupid. "A shower would be good. We got really sticky." Jason blushed a bit at his last sentence, inwardly cursing himself for stating the obvious.
"Well, such are the hazards of war." Dick grinned and sat back, pulling Jason up with him. "Come on, soldier." He paused for a moment to draw Jason into a longer, more lingering kiss, his tongue probing its way into Jason's mouth with almost single-minded determination. And then just like that he was pulling away again and pulling Jason up off the bed so that the pair of them could cross the hall stark naked and jump into the shower a few moments later. Dick didn't seem to have any shyness about his body, nor Jason's either, even under the bright bathroom lights.
Okay, Jason was never going to be able to hear that nickname from Dick ever again without blushing. When he was pulled into the kiss, Jason kissed back fervently, tongue moving against Dick's and into his mouth. It ended almost too soon for Jason when Dick pulled away and pulled Jason off the bed. Jason followed Dick, not really too shy about his body either, especially with what they had just done. As he followed Dick down the hall to the bathroom, Jason stuck close, not wanting to stray too far because he really liked being close to Dick. Once in the bathroom, with the lights turned on, Jason made sure to drink in the sight of Dick's body without the shadows of the bedroom obscuring it. Actually, Jason wasnted to take back the part about not being body concious. Anyone would be automatically body concious standing next Dick naked.
Well, that was hardly surprising. It was hardly a fair contest anyway - Dick had spent the last 10 years of his life training to be the very best that he could be, almost to the exclusion of all else in his life. As a result, Dick looked like a Greek statue brought to life; fit and toned, without a spare ounce of fat on him. Even more unfair, he moved with an uncommon grace, always self-assured and confidant. And yet, in spite of all that, he still stared at Jason with a look of desire, enjoying the sight of the younger boy's body just as much as Jason enjoyed his. Once the shower was warmed up he pulled Jason in and pulled him close, kissing him again.
Jason enjoyed Dick staring at him, though in comparison, he wasn't really much to stare at. Sure, Jason was in shape; he had to be living on the streets for a year, but he had nothing on Dick. He let Dick pull him under the warm spray of water, and kissed Dick back enthusiactically while still keeping his balance in the slippery shower as his arms wrapped around Dick's neck, one hand burying itself in Dick's hair. He clinged to Dick as they kissed, enjoying every inch of now wet skin pressed against his.
At length, Dick pulled away, though it was done reluctantly, as he loved the feeling of wet skin on skin. "So...this changes things a little bit, I suppose..." he said finally. The thought had been in the back of his mind since they'd finished, but he'd been consciously avoiding it until now. It wasn't even necessarily a bad thing, this change, but Dick was a person wary of change by nature. That mindset was, of course, another legacy of his upbringing, in spite of Alfred's best efforts to mitigate the effects of the worst of Bruce's neurosis on Dick.
"Just a bit," Jason answered, trying not to pout about Dick pulling away. "It's not a bad change, right?" he asked, kind of having a feeling that Dick was wary of this, and that he would start pulling away or something. Jason definitely did not want that. Jason wasn't actually sure what to think of this either. It wasn't like he'd ever had a relationship with anyone, let alone a guy. He had kissed a few girls in grade school, but that was just them thanking him for protecting them from stupid bullies that dared to pick on a girl in front of Jason. All Jason knew right now was that Dick made him feel safe and comfortable, and that was something Jason had been lacking for a long time before he met Dick.
A pause, and then one of Dick's charming smiles. "No. It's a good thing, I think." He was wary, but that didn't mean he didn't want this. It had been far too long since he'd last been this close to anyone and Jason...Jason was something special. A kindred spirit, if nothing else. Still smiling, he raised a hand to slide it along the delicate line of Jason's jaw, his thumb briefly grazing the side of the boy's lips.
"Good," Jason murmured against Dick's thumb, taking his hand to put his hand on Dick's cheek, grinning. "I don't think I could have really dealt if you decided it was a mistake or something." With that, Jason got bold and pulled Dick down for a kiss, not really wanting to know what Dick would say to that.
Well, Jason certainly had a mind of his own. He could be forceful too, when he felt like it. Dick liked that, it made him feel less like he was taking advantage of Jason. He responded to the kiss eagerly, draping his arms lazily around Jason's shoulders. They really weren't doing much to get clean, but Dick didn't mind at the moment. He'd probably regret it when he had to get up for work tomorrow and was dead tired, but at the moment he was...content. Nothing else mattered.
Unfortunately, whatever happiness Dick got from having Jason around wasn't always enough to offset the stress of his unusual life. Sleep was always in short supply and lately it had been even worse. The gang war that Jason had predicted was in full swing and Dick was run ragged on duty as a police office and off duty as Nightwing. And, worse, no matter how much he did, it never seemed to be enough. People kept dying - often gang members but equally often wives or girlfriends or children that were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Dick had not felt this utterly helpless and alone in a long, long time. There was only one of him and he didn't know enough people, didn't have the leads or the contacts...or maybe he just wasn't good enough. That thought always nagged at his mind, even when he came home and stripped off his costume or his uniform and fell into bed in a bone-tired sleep, the thought was there.
It had been a long time since he'd had nightmares about Two-Face. Hell, it had been a long time since he'd had nightmares in general. For a while his life had been in control and he'd been stressed but...dealing with it. It had been good and now...now it wasn't. Now he was having dreams again, dreams that really didn't have anything to do with what had actually happened, but had everything to do with feeling small and helpless and alone. A little bird with broken wings. And of course, Bruce was there too - sometimes as Batman, sometimes as himself - staring at Dick, his lips pressed into that frown that said quite clearly 'you disapoint me'. Dick faced down terror every day, and he could deal with nightmares, but for a few horrible seconds he was overwhelmed with terror, running from a vague figure that might have been Two-Face. He didn't know and he didn't want to know, he just knew he had to get away because he was so scared that he could barely breathe and if he didn't run he'd die choking and yet he couldn't run. He was on his knees, helpless and Two-Face was there and he couldn't breathe. It was all going black. And then he was awake, suddenly, with a low, choked sound somewhere between a whimper and a yell. For a second he was a child again, terrified of the very blackness of his room. He had to force that terror down and even after he did that he still sat in his bed, shaking uncontrolably and wondering how long he would live like this before he went insane.
The routine he slipped into with Dick was getting comfortable. Maybe too comfortable, but Jason wasn't going to let go of this comfort until Dick kicked him out. He had tried to force himself out of the habit of cuddling up against Dick during the night, but that was usually hit or miss, depending. Tonight, he had kept to his side of the bed, not cuddled up against Dick when Dick woke with a choked scream. Jason jolted from his sleep, automatically wondering what the hell was going. Then he saw Dick sitting up on his side of the bed, curled up and shaking. Jason's brows furrowed in worry as he moved closer to Dick. "Dick?" he questioned in a whisper.
Dick startled and it was only the fact that he'd had a second or two to calm down that kept him from lashing out wildly at Jason. He remembered that the person next to him was safe, not a threat, and a second later he remembered that it was Jason. Though they'd grown closer in the last few weeks, they weren't yet at the point where Dick really wanted to let Jason see him like this. Or, more accurately, Dick never wanted to let anyone see his fear. His weakness. They would be disapointed in him, lose faith in him. He didn't want that, especially not with Jason, and he felt his stomach roll over with a sickly feeling of shame. "Sorry. Bad dream. Go back to sleep...." he muttered. His voice sounded hoarse and lacked the strength and energy it usually had.
Okay, now Jason was really concerned as he reached out touch Dick's shoulder. "Are you sure you're okay?" Jason asked carefully, a little weirded out by this. Dick having a nightmare didn't make Jason think any less of him. It was the opposite, and Jason was amazed that Dick could sleep at all with working as a cop and as Nightwing. He must see horrible things everyday with those jobs. Plus, he came from Gotham, and if Gotham didn't give someone nightmares, Jason had no idea what would.
The touch actually caused Dick to flinch, which surprised even him. He was used to having people around, being close to them, but he was used to it always, always being on his terms. That way he could always dictate how open he let himself be and guard against vulnerability. "I'm fine." His voice was flat and distant. He was not fine. He was scared - both of the dream and of the memories it stirred up. Unlike other people, Dick knew that he wasn't over-reacting. He could have died then. He could die at any time if he made a mistake and while sometimes that sense of impending doom was a rush, now it was a weight on his shoulders.
"No, you're not," Jason said firmly, moving his hand away from Dick's shoulder. "Even if you sounded halfway believable, I wouldn't have believed you." Jason paused, to think carefully about his next words. "I'm awake now, and I won't get back to sleep, so let me help you." He really wanted to help, though he wasn't sure how he could. Jason really hated feeling so useless, and all he wanted to do was pull Dick into a tight embrace, like he was sure Dick would do for him, but he wasn't sure Dick would react well to it, not after flinching at Jason's hand on his shoulder.
Dick let out a heavy sigh and glanced over at Jason. In the darkened room all he could see was a vague form, mostly just a shadow, with only the side of his face and part of his shoulder outlined in the dim light coming through the window. "All right, so I'm not fine. I will be, in a second...." he said, with an attempt at a grin. It was weak and probably not even visible to Jason anyway. Just having another living, breathing human around was enough to help push down the lingering influence of the nightmare, though Dick wished that Jason were older. If Jason had been been older - and if Dick had any idea of which way Jason swung - he'd have just distracted himself with sex.
Jason bit his lip. "I still don't believe you," he muttered as his eyes took in Dick's form. It was kind of distressing to see him like this, so on an impulse, he wrapped an arm around Dick's shoulders, pulling him into an embrace. He didn't seem to be fighting the touch, and Jason just wanted to be able to comfort him in some way. "Let me help, Dick," he repeated.
For a second Dick hesitated and then let himself lean into Jason's embrace, just the slightest bit. He let out a rather morose little chuckle. "Ah, my loyal little soldier," he murmured. "I appreciate the offer, but I don't think you can give me the help I want." And then he laughed, because even saying that was ridiculous. Jason would ask what he meant and then Dick would have to explain and then Jason would probably not want to sleep in the same bed as him. He wouldn't blame him if it came to that - such things were awkward.
He let the soldier comment slide as he held Dick, since it really bothered him a lot less than it used to. Jason's brows furrowed again as he looked at Dick. "Why can't I?" he asked, wondering what Dick meant. Not that he would say it just yet, but Jason would probably do anything for Dick. That was the kind of power that Dick held over him, and Jason sure as hell wasn't going to let Dick know that. Plus, that'd probably lead to talk about why, and Jason wasn't quite sure he could say it out loud. He barely could admit the why to himself.
"Well, you're a bit young for my tastes, for one thing..." It was meant to sound like a joke, but it fell flat to Dick's ears. But hopefully Jason would catch his meaning and not press the matter. And hopefully he'd not be weirded out or pull away or...leave. God, he didn't want Jason to leave and it was weird to think how attached he'd grown so quickly. Of course, Dick kind of always worked like that. One of his college girlfriends had called him 'passionate', which he supposed was a good word but also suspected it glossed over the reality of his need for affection.
Jason blinked, thinking he must have misheard Dick, because if he hadn't, it had to be some kind of dream. He wasn't sure what to say that, but he was really curious now. "I'm legal in Bludhaven," Jason decided to mutter. It was true, since the age of consent was sixteen in New Jersey. Though, Jason wasn't sure if that meant anything would happen.
There was a long, heavy silence. Dick wasn't sure what to do with that announcement. Jason was right - he was technically legal. But at the same time, Jason was more or less dependant on him at the moment and the last thing Dick wanted was for Jason to think that he had to offer up something like this in payment. He sat up, pulling away from Jason but not distancing himself, just giving himself enough space to look the boy in the eye. For all the good that did, in the darkened room. "I don't want you to think you owe me anything," he said finally. "Because you don't."
"I don't think that," Jason murmured firmly, his heartbeat quickening a bit. "I want to." He paused, looking Dick straight in the eye. "I want you, Dick." Now that was out in the open, Jason felt a great weight off of him, but he was still nervous, thinking that he may have read Dick wrong. After all, was he really thinking straight after a nightmare? It wasn't Jason's nightmare, but he felt like he wasn't thinking straight either. Everything was jumbled, except that he knew he wanted Dick. He had wanted him for a while, but Jason just hid it because otherwise he thought he would lose the only living person in the world that meant anything to him.
That was enough. That was all Dick needed. It was probably selfish and wrong and so many other things, but that was all he needed to hear. He leaned forward, reaching out a hand to cup Jason's jaw, and kissed the boy. As he did it, he realized that he didn't know if this was Jason's first time or not. Hell, he didn't even know if this was Jason's first kiss.
It definitely wasn't Jason's first kiss, but it would be his first time, no matter how far they went. Not that he'd let Dick know that as he kissed Dick back. His heart beating a mile a minute now as he let one of his hands slip into Dick's hair as they kissed.
Dick moved, sliding his hand down to Jason's chest so that he could push the boy back amongst the pillows and straddle him. He moved quickly in these things, in spite of protests by more than a few of his partners. He couldn't help it, it wasn't just sex to him, it was the need to be connected to another person, to feel close to them, to feel like they weren't ever going away and that they loved him unconditionally. He crouched over Jason, kissing him again even as his hands slid over his body, feeling out this new territory.
Jason fell back against the pillows, groaning when Dick straddled him as Dick's hands roved his body. Having no real experience, Jason just kissed Dick while he kept his arms wrapped around Dick's waist, hands roving his back before he got a bit more adventurous and let his hands cup Dick's ass, pulling his hips down as Jason's hips pushed up.
Oh, this had to be wrong, doing this with someone this much younger than him. But Jason seemed eager and willing and... Dick didn't want to admit it, but he wanted Jason badly. The feeling of hands on his ass sent a delighted shiver down his spine and he could feel his excitement growing. Flannel sleep pants did little to hide such things but this time that didn't seem to matter. Dick kissed Jason's lips one last time and then kissed his away along the younger boy's chin until he found his ear. "Tell me what you want me to do..." he murmured, his voice a husky whisper as he delicately nibbled at Jason's earlobe.
With Dick nibbling on his ear, it was impossible to bite back the moan as he gripped Dick's ass. He really wished Dick didn't ask that question because he had no idea how to answer without proving he was a virgin once any words spilled from his mouth. He was nervous, but no because it was his first time. He was nervous because he thought Dick would stop once he found out Jason was a virgin. "That should be my line," he said breaithily, trying to avoid acting like the virgin he so sorely was.
"Hrmph." Dick gave a little huff of displeasure, then shrugged. "I suppose I'll just do whatever I want then." There was no question of him being in control - that was part of what he needed. Not only because it let him keep his guard up, just a bit, but because it meant that he got to please someone else. That was why it never worked out with him and Babs - she was the same way and invariably it became a clash of wills. He loved her, but love didn't mean they were meant to be. But he wasn't thinking of Babs right now. He was thinking of Jason and how long he'd watched him as he was healing and thought about touching. Only in passing, because everyone did that (or so he hoped - maybe he was just a pervert), but now he got look as much as he wanted. And even better, he got to play as well. He kissed Jason's neck and then pulled away, teasing. His hands dipped lower than they'd gone before, sliding between Jason's legs, almost without warning. Moving fast again because he needed to forget the bad things and needed something better to replace them with.
Jason was going to ask what Dick wanted, but the words caught in his throat when Dick's mouth traveled to his neck. When Dick's lips disappeared from his neck, Jason groaned in disappointment, but that didn't last long. Once Dick's hand slide between Jason's legs, the groan turned into moan of appreciation as his hips bucked against Dick's hand. He wasn't used to someone else's touch, and his own touch had only stopped being awkward when he was able to his right hand again.
Jason was noisy. Dick liked that. He grinned, giving Jason's cock a little squeeze, just to get a reaction. And then his hand was sliding upward again, finding its way to the band of Jason's pajamas and slipping beneath it. Now his fingers were sliding over soft, smooth flesh, delicately feeling their way from head to base. As he was doing this he bent low over Jason once more, biting the boy's neck and then moving up towards his ear. "Mmm...I would hate to question your vast experience, but have you ever had anal sex before?" It was difficult to make such a blunt question sound sexy, but Dick somehow managed, pitching his voice low and making his tone suggest that all of this was something exciting and illicit.
He couldn't help but be noisy when it felt like Dick was touching him everywhere at once. It was like sensory overload already. When Dick's hand made contact with Jason's cock, not through material but real contact, Jason just got noisier. It felt wonderful to have someone else's hand on him, and since it was Dick, it was even better. Jason bit back a groan when Dick bit his neck again then tried not to stiffen when Dick asked him the question, though his face definitely flushed. He couldn't lie to Dick now, not with Dick on top of him like that. "My vast experience," Jason started, licking his lips nervously, "is you." That was probably going to send Dick running, but Jason couldn't deny him anything at the moment, let alone lie to him.
That just got a low chuckle from Dick and a kiss on the cheek. "Well then...that's good to know." But he didn't stop. If anything he became more attentive, fingers and lips roaming over every part of Jason's body. Anything that he could reach, he would touch and kiss and bite - though not too hard. That would come later, if Jason liked it. For now, Dick just wanted...he wanted to feel good and he wanted Jason to feel good.
Jason nearly breathed a sigh of relief when Dick didn't move away. Actually, now that was out in the open, Jason felt a lot better about the situation as Dick's hands and mouth roamed his body. He arched into the touches and moaned at the nips of Dick's teeth on his skin. Jason really wanted to make Dick feel as good as he was making Jason feel. "I- What should I be doing for you?" he asked softly between moans.
Another chuckle from Dick. "We'll get to that, don't worry..." He kissed his way up Jason's chest, all the way up to his mouth. "I want this to be good for you..." Although, that said, Dick was still pushing things foward at a rapid pace because his next act was to carefully strip Jason of his clothing. He kept pace though, taking off his own clothes as well so that a second later his naked body was pressed against Jason. "If I'm going too fast, just tell me," he murmured as he ground his hips up against Jason. Even he couldn't help but make a low moan as his cock slid up against Jason's.
Jason really wanted to protest to not doing anything for Dick yet, but he couldn't make a coherent sentence with Dick's mouth on his chest then on his lips. He hardly knew when his clothes were taken off, watching as Dick removed his own clothes. Jason swallowed thickly, taking in Dick's gorgeous body just before that body pressed against Jason's own. "It's not too fast," Jason all but breathed, moaning with Dick as their cocks slid againts each other.
"That's good..." Because Dick didn't want to stop. He desperately needed this contact, this connection with another person. He hadn't realized up until now how much he'd needed it but now that he had it he was gobbling it up like a greedy child. For just a moment he paused to grab lube from his nightstand and then returned his attention to Jason's cock. Tonight he didn't intend to have sex - it was too sudden and there wasn't enough time to prepare Jason. He didn't mind the lack of sex though - this worked just as well and it felt a little more intimate and close. As always, his fingers were deft and delicate as he spread the lube - first over his own cock and then lovingly over Jason's as well.
If Jason's mind wasn't already blown by the fact that this was really happening, he probably would have noticed how greedy for touch Dick was and maybe take advantage of it later. At this point, Jason was getting really close. He didn't have that much experience, but he definitely didn't want to come early. It would completely and utterly embarassing, maybe more embarassing than the time just Dick calling his name down the hall had gotten him off. A really nice shudder went though Jason's body when he felt Dick's fingers spread the lube. As Dick spread the lube, Jason groaned, pushing into Dick's hand.
Dick made a pleased sound as he heard Jason groan. "God, I love it when you do that..." He smiled down at Jason, for just a second watching the younger boy in the dim light of the bedroom. He couldn't see much, but there was just enough light to hint at what was there. Moving slowly he lowered himself down onto Jason once more, grinding their hips together with a hungry need. At first he was content with the friction of that alone, but presently he slid a hand down to grasp both of them, bringing them even closer together. He was close to finished and losing himself in the moment now with his body arched gracefully over Jason's and his head hanging low as he gasped out each panting breath.
Jason felt his body flush more with Dick's words as his breaths came quicker, and he smiled back. He pushed up against Dick greedily, moaning with every move against Dick's body. He was getting so very close, but Jason was trying to hold out was long as possible. Though, once Dick's hand came down to grasp thier cocks, bringing them closer and making even more lovely friction, Jason couldn't hold back any longer. He came, breathily moaning Dick's name as he did.
A few more thrusts would do it for Dick. He came with a low groan and then drew back from Jason with leasurely ease, though he was still breathing heavily as he sat back on his knees. All thoughts of the nightmare had been pushed from his mind, replaced by a fleeting sense of happiness and completion. At the moment he would have liked nothing more than to roll over and go back to sleep, but that really wasn't an option. Jason's chest was sticky with their cum and anyway he couldn't very well get off and then leave the boy to his own devices. So he leaned forward again and pressed a quick kiss to Jason's lips. "You were good. Do you want to take a shower with me?"
When Dick came, Jason was just getting over his own orgasm. Then Dick moved away, and Jason mourned the loss of contact. He didn't mourn it long when Dick pressed a kiss on Jason's lips. "Really?" he asked, hoping that he didn't sound too shocked or hopefully or something equally stupid. "A shower would be good. We got really sticky." Jason blushed a bit at his last sentence, inwardly cursing himself for stating the obvious.
"Well, such are the hazards of war." Dick grinned and sat back, pulling Jason up with him. "Come on, soldier." He paused for a moment to draw Jason into a longer, more lingering kiss, his tongue probing its way into Jason's mouth with almost single-minded determination. And then just like that he was pulling away again and pulling Jason up off the bed so that the pair of them could cross the hall stark naked and jump into the shower a few moments later. Dick didn't seem to have any shyness about his body, nor Jason's either, even under the bright bathroom lights.
Okay, Jason was never going to be able to hear that nickname from Dick ever again without blushing. When he was pulled into the kiss, Jason kissed back fervently, tongue moving against Dick's and into his mouth. It ended almost too soon for Jason when Dick pulled away and pulled Jason off the bed. Jason followed Dick, not really too shy about his body either, especially with what they had just done. As he followed Dick down the hall to the bathroom, Jason stuck close, not wanting to stray too far because he really liked being close to Dick. Once in the bathroom, with the lights turned on, Jason made sure to drink in the sight of Dick's body without the shadows of the bedroom obscuring it. Actually, Jason wasnted to take back the part about not being body concious. Anyone would be automatically body concious standing next Dick naked.
Well, that was hardly surprising. It was hardly a fair contest anyway - Dick had spent the last 10 years of his life training to be the very best that he could be, almost to the exclusion of all else in his life. As a result, Dick looked like a Greek statue brought to life; fit and toned, without a spare ounce of fat on him. Even more unfair, he moved with an uncommon grace, always self-assured and confidant. And yet, in spite of all that, he still stared at Jason with a look of desire, enjoying the sight of the younger boy's body just as much as Jason enjoyed his. Once the shower was warmed up he pulled Jason in and pulled him close, kissing him again.
Jason enjoyed Dick staring at him, though in comparison, he wasn't really much to stare at. Sure, Jason was in shape; he had to be living on the streets for a year, but he had nothing on Dick. He let Dick pull him under the warm spray of water, and kissed Dick back enthusiactically while still keeping his balance in the slippery shower as his arms wrapped around Dick's neck, one hand burying itself in Dick's hair. He clinged to Dick as they kissed, enjoying every inch of now wet skin pressed against his.
At length, Dick pulled away, though it was done reluctantly, as he loved the feeling of wet skin on skin. "So...this changes things a little bit, I suppose..." he said finally. The thought had been in the back of his mind since they'd finished, but he'd been consciously avoiding it until now. It wasn't even necessarily a bad thing, this change, but Dick was a person wary of change by nature. That mindset was, of course, another legacy of his upbringing, in spite of Alfred's best efforts to mitigate the effects of the worst of Bruce's neurosis on Dick.
"Just a bit," Jason answered, trying not to pout about Dick pulling away. "It's not a bad change, right?" he asked, kind of having a feeling that Dick was wary of this, and that he would start pulling away or something. Jason definitely did not want that. Jason wasn't actually sure what to think of this either. It wasn't like he'd ever had a relationship with anyone, let alone a guy. He had kissed a few girls in grade school, but that was just them thanking him for protecting them from stupid bullies that dared to pick on a girl in front of Jason. All Jason knew right now was that Dick made him feel safe and comfortable, and that was something Jason had been lacking for a long time before he met Dick.
A pause, and then one of Dick's charming smiles. "No. It's a good thing, I think." He was wary, but that didn't mean he didn't want this. It had been far too long since he'd last been this close to anyone and Jason...Jason was something special. A kindred spirit, if nothing else. Still smiling, he raised a hand to slide it along the delicate line of Jason's jaw, his thumb briefly grazing the side of the boy's lips.
"Good," Jason murmured against Dick's thumb, taking his hand to put his hand on Dick's cheek, grinning. "I don't think I could have really dealt if you decided it was a mistake or something." With that, Jason got bold and pulled Dick down for a kiss, not really wanting to know what Dick would say to that.
Well, Jason certainly had a mind of his own. He could be forceful too, when he felt like it. Dick liked that, it made him feel less like he was taking advantage of Jason. He responded to the kiss eagerly, draping his arms lazily around Jason's shoulders. They really weren't doing much to get clean, but Dick didn't mind at the moment. He'd probably regret it when he had to get up for work tomorrow and was dead tired, but at the moment he was...content. Nothing else mattered.