[fic] Walk A Mile
Title: Walk A Mile
Author: havocthecat
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: John/Elizabeth
Summary: John gets turned into a girl. He really doesn't know anything about being a woman. Originally posted here for oxoniensis' porn battle.
***
John's been through the gate all of five seconds, and the entire control room goes dead silent. "Don't. Say. Anything," he says, in a much higher-pitched voice than usual.
Elizabeth comes to a standstill on the stairs, her gaze locked on John. "Are you a--"
He gives her the most irritated, annoyed look she's ever seen. "Don't, Elizabeth. Just don't."
Teyla's expressive sigh says everything about how long the trip back to the gate has been.
*
"So you're saying it was--" starts Elizabeth.
"Ancient technology. I activated it, and--" They're talking in Elizabeth's quarters, with John in a slightly larger uniform, since his hips have widened, and his chest has suddenly expanded. John shifts, tugs at the bra circling his chest, and grimaces at Elizabeth. "You really wear these things? Every day?" Elizabeth is staring at John's chest curiously, and John flushes.
"Usually," says Elizabeth.
"So what fun stuff do I have to look forward to?" asks John, gesturing down at his new body. "Until McKay figures this out, at least."
"PMS," says Elizabeth, smirking at him.
John's eyes widen. "No. No. Just--"
"Over half the population of two galaxies goes through this every month, John." Elizabeth chuckles. "Don't be such a wimp. Though I'd imagine you'll get a copy of 'Our Bodies, Ourselves' from every woman on the expedition now."
"They wouldn't--" John stops, staring suspiciously at the knowing look in Elizabeth's eyes. "You didn't!"
Elizabeth's smile turns smug. "I have it on good authority that at least half a dozen requests were added to the Daedalus' shipping manifest in the first ten minutes after you came back through the gate."
"What am I supposed to do now?" grumbles John. He looks suspiciously pouty, he's sure, but he has no idea why Elizabeth is looking so speculatively at him. "What?"
"You're looking at me like--" John shrugs. "I don't know, like you want to eat me up, or something."
"Wouldn't that be nice?" Elizabeth's voice is barely a whisper. She clears her throat, and, louder, says something different. "Do you know anything about how a woman's body works, John?"
"You sit down on the toilet to pee?"
Elizabeth throws the piece of chocolate she's been unwrapping at John, who catches it with a smirk, and pops it in his mouth. The instant it touches his tongue, she sighs, relaxing leaning back against the sofa. "This is really good," he says, not noticing the breathy little moan that escapes his throat. It doesn't sound like him, after all.
He does notice when Elizabeth's casual pose becomes subtly more alert. "Want some more?" she asks.
John nods, and Elizabeth tosses over a round truffle, which John unwraps slowly and pops in his mouth. "Wow," he says, her eyes closing in bliss, and John could swear the sound he hears him making was just about the same sound his last girlfriend made when she-- "Chocolate never tasted this good as a guy," he says.
When he opens his eyes, John sees Elizabeth's face hovering an inch away, and then she's kissing him. John makes a surprised noise, but Elizabeth's mouth tastes of chocolate, and John's not going to let stupid Ancient technology get in the way of getting laid.
His body's not quite the same; there's a strange heat uncurling in her stomach, and when one of Elizabeth's hands cups John's breast, he arches into the touch. When Elizabeth's other hand slides up John's thigh, her palm pressing between John's legs, John twists and gasps, his hips thrusting against Elizabeth's hand before he can stop himself.
He faintly hears the zipper of his borrowed pants, and then Elizabeth's fingers are sliding down his stomach, through-- "God--" John can barely hear himself talk. Elizabeth's fingers are sliding over something, John doesn't know what, or he just can't think about it. He's wet, his head is flung back, he's tense, panting and moaning with Elizabeth's fingertips moving against something small, something new, but God, it's so good, and Elizabeth's mouth is swallowing his scream as he comes, shuddering, while Elizabeth holds him.
"Wow," says John, and Elizabeth is amused enough that John is tempted to make a smartass comment. Or he would if he could still think. "But you haven't--"
"No refractory period," murmurs Elizabeth, and she leans forward again.
Author: havocthecat
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: John/Elizabeth
Summary: John gets turned into a girl. He really doesn't know anything about being a woman. Originally posted here for oxoniensis' porn battle.
***
John's been through the gate all of five seconds, and the entire control room goes dead silent. "Don't. Say. Anything," he says, in a much higher-pitched voice than usual.
Elizabeth comes to a standstill on the stairs, her gaze locked on John. "Are you a--"
He gives her the most irritated, annoyed look she's ever seen. "Don't, Elizabeth. Just don't."
Teyla's expressive sigh says everything about how long the trip back to the gate has been.
*
"So you're saying it was--" starts Elizabeth.
"Ancient technology. I activated it, and--" They're talking in Elizabeth's quarters, with John in a slightly larger uniform, since his hips have widened, and his chest has suddenly expanded. John shifts, tugs at the bra circling his chest, and grimaces at Elizabeth. "You really wear these things? Every day?" Elizabeth is staring at John's chest curiously, and John flushes.
"Usually," says Elizabeth.
"So what fun stuff do I have to look forward to?" asks John, gesturing down at his new body. "Until McKay figures this out, at least."
"PMS," says Elizabeth, smirking at him.
John's eyes widen. "No. No. Just--"
"Over half the population of two galaxies goes through this every month, John." Elizabeth chuckles. "Don't be such a wimp. Though I'd imagine you'll get a copy of 'Our Bodies, Ourselves' from every woman on the expedition now."
"They wouldn't--" John stops, staring suspiciously at the knowing look in Elizabeth's eyes. "You didn't!"
Elizabeth's smile turns smug. "I have it on good authority that at least half a dozen requests were added to the Daedalus' shipping manifest in the first ten minutes after you came back through the gate."
"What am I supposed to do now?" grumbles John. He looks suspiciously pouty, he's sure, but he has no idea why Elizabeth is looking so speculatively at him. "What?"
"You're looking at me like--" John shrugs. "I don't know, like you want to eat me up, or something."
"Wouldn't that be nice?" Elizabeth's voice is barely a whisper. She clears her throat, and, louder, says something different. "Do you know anything about how a woman's body works, John?"
"You sit down on the toilet to pee?"
Elizabeth throws the piece of chocolate she's been unwrapping at John, who catches it with a smirk, and pops it in his mouth. The instant it touches his tongue, she sighs, relaxing leaning back against the sofa. "This is really good," he says, not noticing the breathy little moan that escapes his throat. It doesn't sound like him, after all.
He does notice when Elizabeth's casual pose becomes subtly more alert. "Want some more?" she asks.
John nods, and Elizabeth tosses over a round truffle, which John unwraps slowly and pops in his mouth. "Wow," he says, her eyes closing in bliss, and John could swear the sound he hears him making was just about the same sound his last girlfriend made when she-- "Chocolate never tasted this good as a guy," he says.
When he opens his eyes, John sees Elizabeth's face hovering an inch away, and then she's kissing him. John makes a surprised noise, but Elizabeth's mouth tastes of chocolate, and John's not going to let stupid Ancient technology get in the way of getting laid.
His body's not quite the same; there's a strange heat uncurling in her stomach, and when one of Elizabeth's hands cups John's breast, he arches into the touch. When Elizabeth's other hand slides up John's thigh, her palm pressing between John's legs, John twists and gasps, his hips thrusting against Elizabeth's hand before he can stop himself.
He faintly hears the zipper of his borrowed pants, and then Elizabeth's fingers are sliding down his stomach, through-- "God--" John can barely hear himself talk. Elizabeth's fingers are sliding over something, John doesn't know what, or he just can't think about it. He's wet, his head is flung back, he's tense, panting and moaning with Elizabeth's fingertips moving against something small, something new, but God, it's so good, and Elizabeth's mouth is swallowing his scream as he comes, shuddering, while Elizabeth holds him.
"Wow," says John, and Elizabeth is amused enough that John is tempted to make a smartass comment. Or he would if he could still think. "But you haven't--"
"No refractory period," murmurs Elizabeth, and she leans forward again.