Sleepless in the FoL
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Rating: G--sorry.
Spoilers: None.
Summary: A very short one-off. Olivia writes a sex columnist for advice.
***
It couldn’t hurt, Olivia thought, chewing the inside of her cheek. Natalia would never see it. Olivia was pretty damned sure Natalia didn’t read Aphrodite to Go’s sex advice column, a syndicated column that hit the web every Thursday. She personally faithfully perused it, both for the information, the vast majority of which she didn’t need, and for the sheer entertainment value of other questions, many of which boggled her mind.
Actually, every time she’d felt a rush to judgment about anyone’s question, she thought about the fact that she’d been married to Emma’s father and grandfather and that gave her a bit of perspective. Or…to another man and his uncle. She felt pretty good about the fact that household appliances and pets had never and would never be involved in her love life but, honestly, who was she to judge?
She squinted at her monitor-a habit that she knew meant glasses were coming, something Natalia had laughingly referred to. Fine. The woman was, after all, eleven years younger than she but time was a great leveler. When they were both wearing glasses and looking over the Beacon’s budget, she’d have the last laugh.
Okay. It wasn’t really about sex, but okay. Here it went:
Dear Aphrodite to Go:
I’m a woman who has been living with her best friend for over one year. We recently realized that we have deeper, romantic feelings for each other, which resulted in my friend leaving her groom at the altar. Since then, things are basically at a standstill. We hold hands and talk. And talk and talk.
I can't go into the whole 'how we met' thing because, to be perfectly honest, if I told you the particulars about how we got together, you’d think this was a prank letter. What I’m wondering is this: The woman I love seems to have made peace with her religious convictions. We have three children between us (so to speak) but are relatively sure they will be supportive. Basically every person in our town knew about us, on television, before even we really knew about us. I can’t get into that-but believe me, it happened. So we don’t have to come out-we were out before we knew we’d been in.
I’m getting a little antsy because all this talking doesn’t seem to be getting us anywhere. As I said, we hold hands and talk. We’ve talked about every possible permutation of anything that could possibly go wrong. It’s sort of at the granular level of wondering what would happen if I took my daughter to a public pool and someone slipped a shark into the water and it magically happened to live in fresh water until it bit her. Never going to happen-but let’s talk about it. I’d really like to do more than talk, if you know what I mean.
I’m a very experienced woman and she is emphatically not but does talking, past a certain point, help you in your first (and hopefully last) same-sex relationship?
I truly love this woman but I’m,
Sleepless in the FoL
***
Dear Sleepless in the FoL:
I think you’re letting your potential lover’s inexperience hamper you both a bit too much. What if this; what if that? What if you both fell into bed and found out what all of this was about?
And my advice? If you want to kiss her, kiss her. Love isn’t a dissertation-and you don’t have to prepare a defense for it. Kiss the woman. Live a little. If you want perfectly safe, either of you-live alone. Except you’ll need one of those little devices that alarms people when you’ve fallen and can’t get up.
From your letter? For you two? When the time comes? Don’t do the slow build. Don’t say “Are you sure?” Or, “I’ll stop if you want me to.” Don’t undress each other slowly. Take your own damned clothes off and meet each other in the middle of a bed. You’re both adults and you’re in love with each other. It might be great or bad-or funny or all of those things. Sex between two people who love each other can be all of these things and the world keeps spinning. So does the relationship, if it’s a good one. You can’t be perfect every time. Get in bed.
Communication is the most important thing in any relationship. But one kiss can say what hours, days, weeks of talking can’t begin to.
Good luck.
Aphrodite.
***
Three Weeks Later
***
Dear Aphrodite to Go:
Thank you so much for your advice to Sleepless in the FoL. I honestly never thought the woman would shut up. She was the one who was constantly harping upon the fact I hadn’t thought things through. So I did my best to think-and think-and think. Not that I blame her. I adore and love her but she literally can’t help being bossy and I accepted that fact a long time ago.
Your advice worked perfectly and I’m happy to report that we met in the middle of a bed and laughed our way through it.
And you, Sleepless in the FoL? You are so doing dishes for three months for writing to a sex columnist about us.
Thank you, Aphrodite.
Sleepless in the FoL, but for a Good Reason
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Rating: G--sorry.
Spoilers: None.
Summary: A very short one-off. Olivia writes a sex columnist for advice.
***
It couldn’t hurt, Olivia thought, chewing the inside of her cheek. Natalia would never see it. Olivia was pretty damned sure Natalia didn’t read Aphrodite to Go’s sex advice column, a syndicated column that hit the web every Thursday. She personally faithfully perused it, both for the information, the vast majority of which she didn’t need, and for the sheer entertainment value of other questions, many of which boggled her mind.
Actually, every time she’d felt a rush to judgment about anyone’s question, she thought about the fact that she’d been married to Emma’s father and grandfather and that gave her a bit of perspective. Or…to another man and his uncle. She felt pretty good about the fact that household appliances and pets had never and would never be involved in her love life but, honestly, who was she to judge?
She squinted at her monitor-a habit that she knew meant glasses were coming, something Natalia had laughingly referred to. Fine. The woman was, after all, eleven years younger than she but time was a great leveler. When they were both wearing glasses and looking over the Beacon’s budget, she’d have the last laugh.
Okay. It wasn’t really about sex, but okay. Here it went:
Dear Aphrodite to Go:
I’m a woman who has been living with her best friend for over one year. We recently realized that we have deeper, romantic feelings for each other, which resulted in my friend leaving her groom at the altar. Since then, things are basically at a standstill. We hold hands and talk. And talk and talk.
I can't go into the whole 'how we met' thing because, to be perfectly honest, if I told you the particulars about how we got together, you’d think this was a prank letter. What I’m wondering is this: The woman I love seems to have made peace with her religious convictions. We have three children between us (so to speak) but are relatively sure they will be supportive. Basically every person in our town knew about us, on television, before even we really knew about us. I can’t get into that-but believe me, it happened. So we don’t have to come out-we were out before we knew we’d been in.
I’m getting a little antsy because all this talking doesn’t seem to be getting us anywhere. As I said, we hold hands and talk. We’ve talked about every possible permutation of anything that could possibly go wrong. It’s sort of at the granular level of wondering what would happen if I took my daughter to a public pool and someone slipped a shark into the water and it magically happened to live in fresh water until it bit her. Never going to happen-but let’s talk about it. I’d really like to do more than talk, if you know what I mean.
I’m a very experienced woman and she is emphatically not but does talking, past a certain point, help you in your first (and hopefully last) same-sex relationship?
I truly love this woman but I’m,
Sleepless in the FoL
***
Dear Sleepless in the FoL:
I think you’re letting your potential lover’s inexperience hamper you both a bit too much. What if this; what if that? What if you both fell into bed and found out what all of this was about?
And my advice? If you want to kiss her, kiss her. Love isn’t a dissertation-and you don’t have to prepare a defense for it. Kiss the woman. Live a little. If you want perfectly safe, either of you-live alone. Except you’ll need one of those little devices that alarms people when you’ve fallen and can’t get up.
From your letter? For you two? When the time comes? Don’t do the slow build. Don’t say “Are you sure?” Or, “I’ll stop if you want me to.” Don’t undress each other slowly. Take your own damned clothes off and meet each other in the middle of a bed. You’re both adults and you’re in love with each other. It might be great or bad-or funny or all of those things. Sex between two people who love each other can be all of these things and the world keeps spinning. So does the relationship, if it’s a good one. You can’t be perfect every time. Get in bed.
Communication is the most important thing in any relationship. But one kiss can say what hours, days, weeks of talking can’t begin to.
Good luck.
Aphrodite.
***
Three Weeks Later
***
Dear Aphrodite to Go:
Thank you so much for your advice to Sleepless in the FoL. I honestly never thought the woman would shut up. She was the one who was constantly harping upon the fact I hadn’t thought things through. So I did my best to think-and think-and think. Not that I blame her. I adore and love her but she literally can’t help being bossy and I accepted that fact a long time ago.
Your advice worked perfectly and I’m happy to report that we met in the middle of a bed and laughed our way through it.
And you, Sleepless in the FoL? You are so doing dishes for three months for writing to a sex columnist about us.
Thank you, Aphrodite.
Sleepless in the FoL, but for a Good Reason