:narration:
His birthday had passed without notice. Of course, he expected that. He didn't open up to people, so it wasn't likely many would know it was January 11th. His closest companion, Janaff, was the only one to wish him a happy birthday, but it wasn't bad like that. After all, with so many birthdays in a lifetime, they were bound to get old. He didn't mind it too much that people didn't know. It was better like that. No big fuss (he hated that).
There were always exceptions at this school, it seemed: Rhys noticed. He always remembered his birthday, no matter what year he was turning. 111 wasn't an insignificant number to the priest, and neither were 112, 113, or 114. Ulki could feel puzzled all he liked, but he knew why Rhys was like that, and it was acceptable.
Somehow the upcoming holiday (that being Valentine's Day) had him thinking more than he'd like. The past year - almost two, in fact - were spent away from Phoenicis, Serenes, herons, hawks, ravens, the king, Janaff, and all he labeled as familiar to him. His closest friend was still in Tellius. Here, Rhys was who he confided in when it was needed. A beorc. A silly, dreamy, naïve beorc that was always getting sick. Ulki never imagined himself becoming so close to him, but it wasn't like he could resist it. Rhys wormed his way into being a good friend of his.
Valentine's Day was significant to him in one sense, and in one sense only: last year. He could remember that overwhelming desire to impress Rhys, protect him, and make him his. Just thinking about it embarrassed him, but at the moment he couldn't help but let his mind drift back to the very idea of being in love. He remembered saying, so clearly and candidly, "I think I... am in love with you."
What a thing to say. Would he ever say it again?
Ulki blinked at the sky. In all his years, he'd never courted a woman. As far as his memory served, he'd never had any amorous interest in anyone. He wasn't looking for anyone, so it didn't bother him in the slightest. Besides, what did "loving someone" feel like?
No, he knew. It came to him on that day, especially the moment he stood at Rhys' side and folded his wings carefully around him that he came to understand that he was affected with love. It troubled him that Rhys was the victim of his adoration, but he couldn't shrug those feelings he had. He had loved him, and it was a feeling he wondered whether he would ever feel again.
Or... if he was feeling it all along. He was protective of Rhys. Rhys had a funny way of making Ulki smile, no matter how innocuous the reason. He liked being around him whenever he could find a good opportunity, and occasionally, he found himself wondering if he had any special errands that would lead him to see the beorc.
And that was why he knew he didn't love him. The laguz frowned. Laguz like himself, courting a beorc? It was a ridiculous thought. He couldn't imagine what sort of image he would procure amongst his fellow hawks, and that included Janaff and the king. That was definite proof he didn't love Rhys, he reasoned bitterly, and it gave him an oxymoronic sense of relief and discomfort.
Thank the goddess he wasn't in love.
There were always exceptions at this school, it seemed: Rhys noticed. He always remembered his birthday, no matter what year he was turning. 111 wasn't an insignificant number to the priest, and neither were 112, 113, or 114. Ulki could feel puzzled all he liked, but he knew why Rhys was like that, and it was acceptable.
Somehow the upcoming holiday (that being Valentine's Day) had him thinking more than he'd like. The past year - almost two, in fact - were spent away from Phoenicis, Serenes, herons, hawks, ravens, the king, Janaff, and all he labeled as familiar to him. His closest friend was still in Tellius. Here, Rhys was who he confided in when it was needed. A beorc. A silly, dreamy, naïve beorc that was always getting sick. Ulki never imagined himself becoming so close to him, but it wasn't like he could resist it. Rhys wormed his way into being a good friend of his.
Valentine's Day was significant to him in one sense, and in one sense only: last year. He could remember that overwhelming desire to impress Rhys, protect him, and make him his. Just thinking about it embarrassed him, but at the moment he couldn't help but let his mind drift back to the very idea of being in love. He remembered saying, so clearly and candidly, "I think I... am in love with you."
What a thing to say. Would he ever say it again?
Ulki blinked at the sky. In all his years, he'd never courted a woman. As far as his memory served, he'd never had any amorous interest in anyone. He wasn't looking for anyone, so it didn't bother him in the slightest. Besides, what did "loving someone" feel like?
No, he knew. It came to him on that day, especially the moment he stood at Rhys' side and folded his wings carefully around him that he came to understand that he was affected with love. It troubled him that Rhys was the victim of his adoration, but he couldn't shrug those feelings he had. He had loved him, and it was a feeling he wondered whether he would ever feel again.
Or... if he was feeling it all along. He was protective of Rhys. Rhys had a funny way of making Ulki smile, no matter how innocuous the reason. He liked being around him whenever he could find a good opportunity, and occasionally, he found himself wondering if he had any special errands that would lead him to see the beorc.
And that was why he knew he didn't love him. The laguz frowned. Laguz like himself, courting a beorc? It was a ridiculous thought. He couldn't imagine what sort of image he would procure amongst his fellow hawks, and that included Janaff and the king. That was definite proof he didn't love Rhys, he reasoned bitterly, and it gave him an oxymoronic sense of relief and discomfort.
Thank the goddess he wasn't in love.