(no subject)
Isometric Rockaway
Midnight: down the road
From the steel paper-hat Parkway of Jamaica Bay,
A lighthouse urinates on the sea.
The mid-peninsula from overhead
supplicates the rhombic fishing boats of Summer,
and the black night mists
of shellfish-smelling
downpours.
Cement flower pots dapple apple tree lines
down the house lanes of Belle Harbour,
and the old spine of boardwalk
grows down its beach.
The sky vomits blue Atlantic
above it all.
***
This poem seems to be 80% scenic imagery, but 20% personification of such imagery ("a lighthouse urinates on the sea," "the sky vomits blue Atlantic"), but I have no idea why I added that 20%. I sometimes have problems with consistency, and so when I add seemingly random methods of visualizing to a poem that has a specifically different theme, it throws me off. What do you think about this? Any advice to avoid inconsistency?
Midnight: down the road
From the steel paper-hat Parkway of Jamaica Bay,
A lighthouse urinates on the sea.
The mid-peninsula from overhead
supplicates the rhombic fishing boats of Summer,
and the black night mists
of shellfish-smelling
downpours.
Cement flower pots dapple apple tree lines
down the house lanes of Belle Harbour,
and the old spine of boardwalk
grows down its beach.
The sky vomits blue Atlantic
above it all.
***
This poem seems to be 80% scenic imagery, but 20% personification of such imagery ("a lighthouse urinates on the sea," "the sky vomits blue Atlantic"), but I have no idea why I added that 20%. I sometimes have problems with consistency, and so when I add seemingly random methods of visualizing to a poem that has a specifically different theme, it throws me off. What do you think about this? Any advice to avoid inconsistency?