Comments | hd_worldcup: Team AU: 23. A snitch in time saves nine hours of Quidditch.

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Team AU: 23. A snitch in time saves nine hours of Quidditch.

Apr 14, 2009 14:26

Title: Enchantment; Loss
Team: AU
Author: dracofiend
Prompt: 23. A snitch in time saves nine hours of Quidditch.
Wordcount: 11,589
Rating: R
Warnings:Implied chan.
Summary: Harry wishes for one thing only.
Author's Note: Mad props to my teammates, especially Captains Joanwilder and Samantha!

( Enchantment; Loss )

prompt: 23. snitch in time, team au, r, fic, round ii

Comments 97

maggie2mw April 14 2009, 14:12:45 UTC

Wow, this is bloody amazing... I will not say more about the story fear I might set off a spoiler... This is wonderful, I loved how you make hints and have snap shouts of the story line, the implied, underlining relationship... It is all just so amazingly brillient!! This is one that really hit me in this game, I am still in a haze :). Great work!

dracofiend April 14 2009, 15:01:11 UTC

Thank you so much for the lovely feedback! I'm especially happy the impliedness of Harry and Lucius' relationship worked for you--it was kind of a delicate balance because I didn't want to scare anyone off :) but it was really important to me, to show Harry's vulnerability and his susceptibility to being drawn in by beautiful, almost untouchable, things.

smirking_muse April 14 2009, 14:29:51 UTC

This was very interesting. You've retold the story well. I found it all a bit confusing, as I tried to figure out all the relationships between characters (I still don't think I understand all of them). I really enjoyed Harry and Draco's banter- and it broke my heart with sweetness when Harry gave Ron his best present. He is just too kind. I wish Ron could have appreciated the sacrifice more. This was heart-breaking, but touching. I felt so badly for Draco when he came to tell Harry about his parents. He was such a lovable, but still acidic and snarky, character here.

dracofiend April 14 2009, 15:07:03 UTC

Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I'm glad you enjoyed Harry and Draco here--I had some doubts as to whether their relationship would be prominent enough, and slashy enough, for readers. I think, if it would've worked to write from multiple POVs, it would've been clearer that Draco was harboring a deep-seated admiration and crush on Harry, that Lucius had been taking advantage of Harry for the purpose of certain calculations re: the Dark Lord (which calculations Lucius may or may not have revised in the end), and that Harry was more than a little blinded by his attachment to Lucius, who was elegant and certain and powerful and protective.

thilia April 14 2009, 15:22:22 UTC

Whoa, this was interesting. A bit confusing, but definitely good. I loved the Harry/Lucius since it's one of my favourite pairings :3 And for me, personally, it could've been even more explicit *g*

Voldemort's sudden appearance was completely unexpected, but I already thought it was him at the mention of the 'stranger'. But before that, I didn't expect Voldemort to be involved at all. I loved Harry and Draco's friendship and... yes :) Great job!

dracofiend April 14 2009, 15:48:23 UTC

*laughs* Oh yes, I have to admit, when I initially thought of this story, it was slated to be explicit chan, with a high rating--due to Harry/Lucius, not Harry/Draco. In the end though, it seemed to work better if the Harry/Lucius aspect was more on the impressionistic side--though I have some vague thoughts about writing an additional scene for posting to my own journal after this fest is finished. :D We'll see though, as I am very lazy.

I'm glad Voldemort kind of sprang up on you--that was how it was for Harry too, who, as far as he could remember, had never been seriously threatened by Voldemort until bam, he's sitting next to the guy at dinner. I'm curious as to what you found unclear or confusing--and let me say up front that I often find myself writing a bit more opaquely than I'd like! :) If I were to guess, I might say it was the pacing--the jump ahead in years might not be especially, instantly clear--but I'm interested in your thoughts.

Thanks so much for reading and the kind words!

thilia April 14 2009, 15:52:45 UTC

Ooh, I'd definitely be interested in reading the Harry/Lucius chapter :D Write it, write it, write it! *grins*

But yes, it was probably better to just hint at Harry/Lucius, considering this is a H/D fest ;)

And yes, it was the jump ahead in years that was a bit confusing. I think I'll have to read the fic again to understand all of it. Still, it was great and I loved it :D

dracofiend April 14 2009, 16:05:57 UTC

:D Well, the Harry/Lucius extra part isn't so much a chapter as it is a scene, if you get my meaning--but to be honest, it was one of my favorites (at least, in my mind--god knows how it'd turn out on paper!). It's funny when I think back on all the different ways this could've turned out--but I think the characters have a more hopeful ending when Harry and Draco end up together, because they're friends, and they're peers. Anyway, just me rambling--thanks again for reading and the love!

sugareey April 14 2009, 16:04:55 UTC

This is really intriguing, with Harry and Draco starting off as friends.

At least from what I can tell, Harry is kind of amazed by Lucius and what kind of person he is, Lucius was using Harry a bait, and Draco was basically jealous for Harry's attention, but you know, ended up getting it at the end.

I like this AU. With Harry and Draco and what they would have been like had they been friends in the beginning. Nice use of the prompt by the way!

Go Team AU! =D

dracofiend April 14 2009, 16:16:43 UTC

*high fives* Yay Team! Thanks so much for reading!

I'm thrilled that Lucius came across that way--through Harry's eyes, he was this new type of person, a new type of man that Harry had never met before. Not petty and disciplinarian, like his aunt and uncle, not kindly but rough-edged, like Hagrid, and not ordinary people with ordinary jobs like the random Muggles he knew (or their wizarding analogues--teachers, etc.). The feeling I think Harry had for Lucius, at first, was maybe something close to reverence--and you know, Lucius is kind to him, in his elegant, warm-but-distant manner. I have to say I'm not decided as to whether Lucius was ultimately using Harry as bait to save himself difficulties in the future (or to catapault him into a more favorable position), although I'm inclined to believe that was his original intention in paying special attention to Harry. After all, a snitch in time, right? :D I'm also glad you read Draco's reactions as jealousy--it was ill-defined, I think because Draco wouldn't have been able to pin it ( ... )

joanwilder April 14 2009, 16:06:51 UTC

I reread it just now, and I have to say that there are so many subtle things I missed the first time around. I do like how understated the Harry/Lucius is, but you still manage to underscore how essential the relationship is to Harry. And poor Harry, keeping such a secret for so long, but I think Draco knew. I did wonder if that last time Harry sees Lucius before the banquet if Lucius did what he did to spare them...both, maybe, knowing what was to come?

That moment when Draco's first released at GP and sticks his head into Harry's room, I think is the most heartbreaking moment of the story. And at the end when Draco asks if Harry's forgotten, and Harry tells him, how could I-you always remind me? Lovely double-entendre, but I was encouraged that the ache was finally gone, and now Harry sees Draco.

As always, you handle your subject and characters so deftly that the progression is very natural and seamless. Beautiful word craft and writing that yield such a stunning overall effect. Just lovely!

dracofiend April 14 2009, 16:30:52 UTC

Hi! Thanks so much for rereading and for the very kind thoughts! Yes, to be honest, Harry's relationship with Lucius in this story is the most important one to me personally, as that's what motivated me to write it--but Draco, in the end, is the one who salvages Harry from it (to the extent that's the right word)...I guess I mean, Draco wields a certain transfigurative ability with respect to Harry's perceptions of himself, his relationship with Lucius, etc., because Draco knows Harry similar to the way in which Lucius knew Harry (though of course, without the benefit of so much adulthood), and Draco has almost as much of Harry's trust as Lucius did (and one day, Draco will exceed Lucius in that regard). Of course, Draco's relationship with Harry is vastly different in that Draco depends on Harry in a way or to a degree that Lucius didn't, so there's that too ( ... )