(no subject)

[hdcrgibsonplaya]

yeah so ive been feeling more and more shitty lately. i guess its the mono. im becoming depressed, not emo thats what gay kids get. im just emotionally wiped from all of this shit lately i cant enjoy anything. 5 months today! i got to see allie and i drove there all by myself and i gave her the necklace that i got with all that limo money that i didnt spend casue i didnt fucking go to the jr ball casue i was in the hospital. she liked it. i hope she really did. but anyways so i go there to see her today and i get out and its all nice out and im fucking tired after liek five fucking minutes im weak as fuck and im getting fuckin fat again. so i think now its time for vitamins, water, and walking around if its nice out when i can. i gotta like build up my muscles and shit. i couldnt lift the fucking kitchen chair today! im really getting frustrated. i hope we can hang out this weekend. i dont wanna do anything but lay in my bed and sleep. just knowing shes laying there is sooo comforting. i did that last saturday i fell asleep for like 30 mins on her lap rubbin her leg. i was sooo fuct on drugs it sucked. i wouldnt mind more drugs though. ive been playing guitar alot when im not sleeping. trying to catch up on my skills. i had that shit rip-off crap metal shit that i always used to play stuck in my fuckin head. i used to play that at practice all the time. same thing over and over again. i got outta that. ive been playing alot of like metal, metal now. solos and shit. trying to teach myself that stuff. i gotta pick up my stuff from matts tomm. i miss it sooo much. its been the last thing on my mind lately but now that the spare time is coming back ill deff use it. i used my car today for the first time!!! it was sick. its pretty fast. i wanna get a nitro car though. but this is cool for now. no place to drive. i went to rockland lake but the parkinglots suck dick and the cars to fast for the trail. w/e. school is the last thing i wanna go back to, feeling like this. i wouldnt mind going back, but not feeling like this. i miss lunch and allie. ill try for next week. work im gunna try for next friday too. ok. im out. i hate this. i hate me!! later fuckers.

i love allie
i hope you liked the necklace alot. princess cut for my little princess.
ok time to die

<3<3<3<3<3<3happy 5 months<3<3<3<3<3<3<3