" Theres never really a white light in the end, its always ends up dark"
not really a good convo, i dont know wat to do but just read if you want to, id like some comments just to see wat you think, cause im wierd with tellin people things personal, it gets things out and its better when you get other peoples opinions on top of your own so yea watevr
littlebitlucky13: are we doing something tomorrow
thestorysofar14: no
littlebitlucky13: um alright
thestorysofar14: if we need time apart or watever then why would you want to hang out?
littlebitlucky13: i guess ur right then
thestorysofar14: it was your choice and i dunno i dont accept it and i dont think there really shoudl be breaks in a
relationship, you either learn to live with the person or you dont
thestorysofar14: so watever i guess you chose not to
littlebitlucky13: there is also trust in a relationship
littlebitlucky13: something u dont have for me
thestorysofar14: thanks for always giving it to me
littlebitlucky13: yah cuz believe it or not i do trust u
thestorysofar14: ummm yea cause i dont do anything i dont go out with other girls
thestorysofar14: i mean thansk for giving that trust to me
littlebitlucky13: its not only that, but i give u the benefit of the doubt... cuz i actually believe what u tell me... but if u cant trust me, then i dont even know why u would want to put up wit me
thestorysofar14: i never said i dont trust you with everythign, alot of things you havent given me any reason to trust you as much as i try to, but yakno it could take awhile for somethings, but i guess that wont be happenin anymore
littlebitlucky13: well couldnt u just be a little more open minded about things? u dont help the situation when u try to pick fights... it like gives u some sort of power... u dont even care, it seems like.. yano i could be wrong, but goodness... we sed we would try to make this work... and when u hafta tell someone else that u dont even trust me... u dont know what that does to my head... u dont know when i was sitting there how i just felt my heart drop when u said that... and im sorry.. im sorry for what ive done to even put u in that state of mind where u cant even trust me... i dont know... but if u want to make this work, even the slightest.. then we seriously have to do something... this isnt a joke any more... never really was
thestorysofar14: looks like we alread did do something:-\
littlebitlucky13: so just like that? 6 months and 4 days.. all gone?
thestorysofar14: i guess so
littlebitlucky13: im sorry u feel this way
thestorysofar14: u did it today when you said that
thestorysofar14: you said youd never give me a second chance
littlebitlucky13: no i just said a break... not a break up..
littlebitlucky13: well should i even give u one??
thestorysofar14: never did anythin to make you need to
thestorysofar14: no dont try to get away by technicalities like i said break
thestorysofar14: not break up
thestorysofar14: i dont give a fuck
littlebitlucky13: obviously
thestorysofar14: you walked away on me and said that
thestorysofar14: so watever
littlebitlucky13: alright
littlebitlucky13: well im not gunna try to argue about.. cuz somehow ill lose.. cuz yah i did walk away.. i was so upset Joe.. u just dont even know.. but if it means anything, u were the best thing that walked into my life.. but i guess all good things come to an end?
thestorysofar14: k jessalyn
littlebitlucky13: and for the record and wat its worth.. i do love you.. and alwayz will... but im gunna go so i guess good luck..?
thestorysofar14: i wanted to make it work and i always todl the truth and i never lied or hid things from you and shit
littlebitlucky13: i dont lie to u joe.. or try to hide things... just one thing that ive ever hid from everyone... and im sorry if u felt i was lying but i really wasnt
thestorysofar14: never lied
littlebitlucky13: no ive alwayz told u the truth
thestorysofar14: u never hid thins or "forgot about lots of things"
thestorysofar14: ?
littlebitlucky13: well yah cuz they werent important
littlebitlucky13: but i guess i can see how u take that as lying
thestorysofar14: ooo but when you brought them up it seemd to be
littlebitlucky13: i guess i would to
thestorysofar14: im sorry you have guy friends i tried to get by it, untill more and more showed up and more and more stories and more parties and more this and that, and you know i have never stoped you from doin anything you want, sure i got mad and ok sweet i have lots of rights to get mad, but yano i figured you woudl catch on that i mean i dont go out with other girls, even with all the girl/ friends that i have and the ones that have aske me to do somethign or come over , I NEVER DID, cause i never wanted to give you that chance , just like your parents dont go out with the opposite sex so dont mind so dont alot of girlfriends and boy friends, even if they didnt it doesnt matter its still the point;.
thestorysofar14: and im sick of it by now
thestorysofar14: i dont liek you always going out with other guys, friends before you or me or not
thestorysofar14: i dont trust the guys alot, and i trust you but theres still that chance
thestorysofar14: and youll never give that up and im not gonna work around it anymore
thestorysofar14: being second best to your guy friends
thestorysofar14: including me in on your plans with them
littlebitlucky13: why couldnt u just say that
thestorysofar14: mmkay
thestorysofar14: i never sai anythign like it
thestorysofar14: im just gonna stop talkin now cause i guess its not doin anything
thestorysofar14: ive told you millions of times
thestorysofar14: i just dont try and stop you
thestorysofar14: cause i do trust you to some extent that ive always trusted you in but yakno i still didnt like it
littlebitlucky13: well the usually when we make plans i try to find someway to get a ride to see u and stuff but yet its like we hafta hang out with other people to just to see each other... once i start driving things will change cuz i wont need a ride from ne one
thestorysofar14: yea i have a problem with guys askin to see you naked and talking about oyu in their journals and askin you to have sex, cause that tells me that your freinds coudl give two shit that you have a boyfriend
thestorysofar14: jessalyn thats not the point
thestorysofar14: wat you just said
littlebitlucky13: well still
thestorysofar14: and tells me that you dont care wat they say and you go along with it and its cute or watever and im
gonna have a problem with it
thestorysofar14: so watever
thestorysofar14: im still never gonna say dont hang out with your friends but yakno it dont matter anymore anyways you can hang out with them everday now
littlebitlucky13: alright joe
thestorysofar14: dont say that like its me breakin up with you
thestorysofar14: and act like that
littlebitlucky13: well u are
thestorysofar14: no im just gunna be stubborn like you were everyday
thestorysofar14: let you get away with sayin things like that, and having my friends make me relize that you did treat me like shit all the time, by all the things youve said and youve kicked me in the balls and everything
littlebitlucky13: i told u already that i do treat u like shit
thestorysofar14: sorry im a guy and wont do anything back to you casue your a girl, and i love you and dont need to do that, but it doesnt mean that you have to act liek your somehow tougher than me and have more power
thestorysofar14: im glad you fuckin knew that and did nothing about it and kept treating me like shit
thestorysofar14: thanks for caring
littlebitlucky13: its not like i ment to.. its just my attitude i guess
littlebitlucky13: i already told u that u deserve better
thestorysofar14: attitues can change
thestorysofar14: fuck that
thestorysofar14: just stop
thestorysofar14: your the one who say people can change
littlebitlucky13: and they do
thestorysofar14: so fuck that alright, act like its not your fault and you cant help it
thestorysofar14: and its my attitude and all that bull shit
littlebitlucky13: im not saying that at all
thestorysofar14: so i guess you never changed and you lied to meall this time?
littlebitlucky13: im saying it is my fault
littlebitlucky13: no i have.. a lot.. just my stubborness and letting my mouth overload my ass
thestorysofar14: 1st time for everything
littlebitlucky13: that hasnt changeds
thestorysofar14: littlebitlucky13: im saying it is my fault
thestorysofar14: thestorysofar14: 1st time for everything
littlebitlucky13: i guess?
thestorysofar14: i did everythign i ever could to make it work , by trying to see you ever minute i possibley could, doing this and that and my grades and everythign jsut to see you , i always said im sorry right away and you never accepted it, and you threw it back in my face and i never lied to you or hid stuff from you and i never went out with other girls or to other parties or anything WITHOUT YOU
littlebitlucky13: joe ur not telling me ne thing new.. i know this
littlebitlucky13: i know im a bad girlfriend, but im working on it.
thestorysofar14: well you obviously dont understande it
littlebitlucky13: no i do
thestorysofar14: send wat you were typing
thestorysofar14: i want to know everythign your thinking or or watever
littlebitlucky13: it was just a bunch of gibberish
thestorysofar14: no casue now your your just hiding your feelings from me
littlebitlucky13: i was just banging my hands on the keyboard until i could find the right words to say
littlebitlucky13: and i obviously havent found them
thestorysofar14: well i dont know wat to say either anymore
littlebitlucky13: yah..
littlebitlucky13: what do u want to happen
thestorysofar14: i really dont know, i want it to worka nd i tried to make it work all the time and i dont even know wat i
wante anymore cause its been so long and after i relized everything that youve said and ive said things youve done and me too in ways i dont know if it will/can/ or i want to make it work still
thestorysofar14: wat do you want, and dont say you want to be with me still, cause i still want to be with you too, but i want want your feelin now just want you want to say or think you want, just say watever you want
thestorysofar14: ?
thestorysofar14: cause i think when you get mad your true feelings come out and thats why i take the things you say so serisouly when you get mad
thestorysofar14: when you get mad your so mad youll say anything (mostly the truth or the things you hide because your too nice usually to say them) and that why i think that, this isnt only for you, im talking for like everyone this is just somethign i always thought
littlebitlucky13: well yah i do want it to work... just some things u say to just really eat at me.. and just bring me down, where i just cry myself to sleep at night.. no i dont like that feeling.. it takes a lot of work to b in a relationship ive noticed.. and when u care about someone, its like that person just becomes apart of u.. and if that part would fall off.. ur never the same... when im upset or mad.. those arent my true feelings, i say things that i dont even imagine saying.. ive it for awhile now... i do it just so i can build up my own defense so i wont get hurt as bad... i just want to shut everything and everyone out.. i dont know why i do it... im just insecure i guess... and dont know whats good for me
thestorysofar14: i dont know:-\
littlebitlucky13: you dont need this though.. its just to much drama... i wouldnt want to put up with me either
littlebitlucky13: do whats best for u
thestorysofar14: shut up, if you really wanted to be with me still you wouldnt be saying things like that, its not do wats best for me, its do wats best for US.
littlebitlucky13: i really do want to be with u... but not if ur gunna b unhappy
thestorysofar14: i dunno if i can be
littlebitlucky13: yah
thestorysofar14: ur not either
thestorysofar14: so dont give me that
littlebitlucky13: im happy when were not fighting
thestorysofar14: im not saying im not happy when im with you but when i think about and the things you say and things that have happend and that still are happenin i just dont know wat will even make me happen if anything will, i know you did and you still do but i dunno
littlebitlucky13: yah i know..
littlebitlucky13: ..its never been this hard to talk to u
thestorysofar14: i kno
littlebitlucky13: i just wish things were better... and i know u can never forgive me for my actions and the things ive said... but i know i need to change my attitude... and there are something u need to change too... but i just want us both to happy.. and whatever action that takes, then so be it.
thestorysofar14: wat do you want?
thestorysofar14: you want tob e just friends for a while or wat?
thestorysofar14: u said you wanted time apart today
littlebitlucky13: yah thats what i said... not what i want.. but if its gunna make u happy, then i guess so
thestorysofar14: littlebitlucky13: yah thats what i said
thestorysofar14: not what i want
thestorysofar14: ???
thestorysofar14: u said it
thestorysofar14: that means you want to
littlebitlucky13: but i dont want it
littlebitlucky13: i truly dont
littlebitlucky13: but if it will make things better, then yah
thestorysofar14: i dont know awat will make things better anymore jessalyn
littlebitlucky13: me either joe
littlebitlucky13: i gotta go though... if u want to talk just call me, dont call me unless u want to... maybe we can try to work things out... i dont know:-\
thestorysofar14: maybe you need to see wat it feels like without me and you going out and go out with other guys and do other things with your friends and things youve missed out casue of me i guess and find out which one makes you happier, i know that you make me happier and i prove that to you by choosin when i go out and always making time for you and not going out with other girls, and yes i know you can say the same thing about me but i dont know if its cause your not ready or watever but you dont show it so i dunno but anyways then when you decide or watever then we can talk about it, but im not gonna go through this fighting ever night
littlebitlucky13: i dont want to fight every night either.... i dont need to spend time with other guys and stuff.. and i havent missed out on anything.. and i know this for a fact... theyre all the same... theres just something about you that just keeps telling me not to let go of u... and i dont need a chance with any other guy cuz they wont mean anything... but i just need to learn how to show u that i truly care about u.. and love you... n i dont know how... but i dont want to know what it feels like without u there... i dont even want to go thru that... but thats just me... theres a difference between what i want and the right thing to do.. and prob the right thing to do is to let u b free so u can find someone that treats u better
thestorysofar14: you shoudl have to figure it out if you loved me then it usualy just happens naturallym i dont want you to try and love me, i just want you to love me
thestorysofar14: shouldnt*
thestorysofar14: stop puttin me in there like its about me finding someone better
littlebitlucky13: and i do love you... im not saying that im trying to... im saying i need to learn how to actually show u that i do in fact love u
thestorysofar14: cause you know its not
thestorysofar14: right and its not somethgin you learn to do, ill reprhase it
thestorysofar14: i dont want you to learn to show me love, i just want you to show me love
thestorysofar14: that make more sense to wat you sed
thestorysofar14: ?
littlebitlucky13: i suppose but i dont know what to do to show u
thestorysofar14: well then you dont fully love me yet or maybe you are and you just think your not showing it the right way
thestorysofar14: or soemthign id ont really know
littlebitlucky13: i guess all i kan say is that i love you.. and i mean that from the top and bottom of my heart
thestorysofar14: i still love you too but i dunno wat were gonna do , or wats gonna make it the same cause its not goin to be
thestorysofar14: but get off now and ill cal
thestorysofar14: k
littlebitlucky13: okie
thestorysofar14: bye
littlebitlucky13 signed off at 12:35:44 AM.
ITS REAAAAALY LONG, kinda not really, but if you want to read please do.
heres a really cool quote i saw, its kinda sad and depressing but its really good
"Somehow, the conversation mentioned your name. And someone asked if I knew you. Looking away I thought of all the times we had together; sharing laughter, tears, jokes and tons more. And then, without explanation you were gone. I looked to where they were waiting for an answer, and then said softly, 'Once...I thought I did.'"
littlebitlucky13: are we doing something tomorrow
thestorysofar14: no
littlebitlucky13: um alright
thestorysofar14: if we need time apart or watever then why would you want to hang out?
littlebitlucky13: i guess ur right then
thestorysofar14: it was your choice and i dunno i dont accept it and i dont think there really shoudl be breaks in a
relationship, you either learn to live with the person or you dont
thestorysofar14: so watever i guess you chose not to
littlebitlucky13: there is also trust in a relationship
littlebitlucky13: something u dont have for me
thestorysofar14: thanks for always giving it to me
littlebitlucky13: yah cuz believe it or not i do trust u
thestorysofar14: ummm yea cause i dont do anything i dont go out with other girls
thestorysofar14: i mean thansk for giving that trust to me
littlebitlucky13: its not only that, but i give u the benefit of the doubt... cuz i actually believe what u tell me... but if u cant trust me, then i dont even know why u would want to put up wit me
thestorysofar14: i never said i dont trust you with everythign, alot of things you havent given me any reason to trust you as much as i try to, but yakno it could take awhile for somethings, but i guess that wont be happenin anymore
littlebitlucky13: well couldnt u just be a little more open minded about things? u dont help the situation when u try to pick fights... it like gives u some sort of power... u dont even care, it seems like.. yano i could be wrong, but goodness... we sed we would try to make this work... and when u hafta tell someone else that u dont even trust me... u dont know what that does to my head... u dont know when i was sitting there how i just felt my heart drop when u said that... and im sorry.. im sorry for what ive done to even put u in that state of mind where u cant even trust me... i dont know... but if u want to make this work, even the slightest.. then we seriously have to do something... this isnt a joke any more... never really was
thestorysofar14: looks like we alread did do something:-\
littlebitlucky13: so just like that? 6 months and 4 days.. all gone?
thestorysofar14: i guess so
littlebitlucky13: im sorry u feel this way
thestorysofar14: u did it today when you said that
thestorysofar14: you said youd never give me a second chance
littlebitlucky13: no i just said a break... not a break up..
littlebitlucky13: well should i even give u one??
thestorysofar14: never did anythin to make you need to
thestorysofar14: no dont try to get away by technicalities like i said break
thestorysofar14: not break up
thestorysofar14: i dont give a fuck
littlebitlucky13: obviously
thestorysofar14: you walked away on me and said that
thestorysofar14: so watever
littlebitlucky13: alright
littlebitlucky13: well im not gunna try to argue about.. cuz somehow ill lose.. cuz yah i did walk away.. i was so upset Joe.. u just dont even know.. but if it means anything, u were the best thing that walked into my life.. but i guess all good things come to an end?
thestorysofar14: k jessalyn
littlebitlucky13: and for the record and wat its worth.. i do love you.. and alwayz will... but im gunna go so i guess good luck..?
thestorysofar14: i wanted to make it work and i always todl the truth and i never lied or hid things from you and shit
littlebitlucky13: i dont lie to u joe.. or try to hide things... just one thing that ive ever hid from everyone... and im sorry if u felt i was lying but i really wasnt
thestorysofar14: never lied
littlebitlucky13: no ive alwayz told u the truth
thestorysofar14: u never hid thins or "forgot about lots of things"
thestorysofar14: ?
littlebitlucky13: well yah cuz they werent important
littlebitlucky13: but i guess i can see how u take that as lying
thestorysofar14: ooo but when you brought them up it seemd to be
littlebitlucky13: i guess i would to
thestorysofar14: im sorry you have guy friends i tried to get by it, untill more and more showed up and more and more stories and more parties and more this and that, and you know i have never stoped you from doin anything you want, sure i got mad and ok sweet i have lots of rights to get mad, but yano i figured you woudl catch on that i mean i dont go out with other girls, even with all the girl/ friends that i have and the ones that have aske me to do somethign or come over , I NEVER DID, cause i never wanted to give you that chance , just like your parents dont go out with the opposite sex so dont mind so dont alot of girlfriends and boy friends, even if they didnt it doesnt matter its still the point;.
thestorysofar14: and im sick of it by now
thestorysofar14: i dont liek you always going out with other guys, friends before you or me or not
thestorysofar14: i dont trust the guys alot, and i trust you but theres still that chance
thestorysofar14: and youll never give that up and im not gonna work around it anymore
thestorysofar14: being second best to your guy friends
thestorysofar14: including me in on your plans with them
littlebitlucky13: why couldnt u just say that
thestorysofar14: mmkay
thestorysofar14: i never sai anythign like it
thestorysofar14: im just gonna stop talkin now cause i guess its not doin anything
thestorysofar14: ive told you millions of times
thestorysofar14: i just dont try and stop you
thestorysofar14: cause i do trust you to some extent that ive always trusted you in but yakno i still didnt like it
littlebitlucky13: well the usually when we make plans i try to find someway to get a ride to see u and stuff but yet its like we hafta hang out with other people to just to see each other... once i start driving things will change cuz i wont need a ride from ne one
thestorysofar14: yea i have a problem with guys askin to see you naked and talking about oyu in their journals and askin you to have sex, cause that tells me that your freinds coudl give two shit that you have a boyfriend
thestorysofar14: jessalyn thats not the point
thestorysofar14: wat you just said
littlebitlucky13: well still
thestorysofar14: and tells me that you dont care wat they say and you go along with it and its cute or watever and im
gonna have a problem with it
thestorysofar14: so watever
thestorysofar14: im still never gonna say dont hang out with your friends but yakno it dont matter anymore anyways you can hang out with them everday now
littlebitlucky13: alright joe
thestorysofar14: dont say that like its me breakin up with you
thestorysofar14: and act like that
littlebitlucky13: well u are
thestorysofar14: no im just gunna be stubborn like you were everyday
thestorysofar14: let you get away with sayin things like that, and having my friends make me relize that you did treat me like shit all the time, by all the things youve said and youve kicked me in the balls and everything
littlebitlucky13: i told u already that i do treat u like shit
thestorysofar14: sorry im a guy and wont do anything back to you casue your a girl, and i love you and dont need to do that, but it doesnt mean that you have to act liek your somehow tougher than me and have more power
thestorysofar14: im glad you fuckin knew that and did nothing about it and kept treating me like shit
thestorysofar14: thanks for caring
littlebitlucky13: its not like i ment to.. its just my attitude i guess
littlebitlucky13: i already told u that u deserve better
thestorysofar14: attitues can change
thestorysofar14: fuck that
thestorysofar14: just stop
thestorysofar14: your the one who say people can change
littlebitlucky13: and they do
thestorysofar14: so fuck that alright, act like its not your fault and you cant help it
thestorysofar14: and its my attitude and all that bull shit
littlebitlucky13: im not saying that at all
thestorysofar14: so i guess you never changed and you lied to meall this time?
littlebitlucky13: im saying it is my fault
littlebitlucky13: no i have.. a lot.. just my stubborness and letting my mouth overload my ass
thestorysofar14: 1st time for everything
littlebitlucky13: that hasnt changeds
thestorysofar14: littlebitlucky13: im saying it is my fault
thestorysofar14: thestorysofar14: 1st time for everything
littlebitlucky13: i guess?
thestorysofar14: i did everythign i ever could to make it work , by trying to see you ever minute i possibley could, doing this and that and my grades and everythign jsut to see you , i always said im sorry right away and you never accepted it, and you threw it back in my face and i never lied to you or hid stuff from you and i never went out with other girls or to other parties or anything WITHOUT YOU
littlebitlucky13: joe ur not telling me ne thing new.. i know this
littlebitlucky13: i know im a bad girlfriend, but im working on it.
thestorysofar14: well you obviously dont understande it
littlebitlucky13: no i do
thestorysofar14: send wat you were typing
thestorysofar14: i want to know everythign your thinking or or watever
littlebitlucky13: it was just a bunch of gibberish
thestorysofar14: no casue now your your just hiding your feelings from me
littlebitlucky13: i was just banging my hands on the keyboard until i could find the right words to say
littlebitlucky13: and i obviously havent found them
thestorysofar14: well i dont know wat to say either anymore
littlebitlucky13: yah..
littlebitlucky13: what do u want to happen
thestorysofar14: i really dont know, i want it to worka nd i tried to make it work all the time and i dont even know wat i
wante anymore cause its been so long and after i relized everything that youve said and ive said things youve done and me too in ways i dont know if it will/can/ or i want to make it work still
thestorysofar14: wat do you want, and dont say you want to be with me still, cause i still want to be with you too, but i want want your feelin now just want you want to say or think you want, just say watever you want
thestorysofar14: ?
thestorysofar14: cause i think when you get mad your true feelings come out and thats why i take the things you say so serisouly when you get mad
thestorysofar14: when you get mad your so mad youll say anything (mostly the truth or the things you hide because your too nice usually to say them) and that why i think that, this isnt only for you, im talking for like everyone this is just somethign i always thought
littlebitlucky13: well yah i do want it to work... just some things u say to just really eat at me.. and just bring me down, where i just cry myself to sleep at night.. no i dont like that feeling.. it takes a lot of work to b in a relationship ive noticed.. and when u care about someone, its like that person just becomes apart of u.. and if that part would fall off.. ur never the same... when im upset or mad.. those arent my true feelings, i say things that i dont even imagine saying.. ive it for awhile now... i do it just so i can build up my own defense so i wont get hurt as bad... i just want to shut everything and everyone out.. i dont know why i do it... im just insecure i guess... and dont know whats good for me
thestorysofar14: i dont know:-\
littlebitlucky13: you dont need this though.. its just to much drama... i wouldnt want to put up with me either
littlebitlucky13: do whats best for u
thestorysofar14: shut up, if you really wanted to be with me still you wouldnt be saying things like that, its not do wats best for me, its do wats best for US.
littlebitlucky13: i really do want to be with u... but not if ur gunna b unhappy
thestorysofar14: i dunno if i can be
littlebitlucky13: yah
thestorysofar14: ur not either
thestorysofar14: so dont give me that
littlebitlucky13: im happy when were not fighting
thestorysofar14: im not saying im not happy when im with you but when i think about and the things you say and things that have happend and that still are happenin i just dont know wat will even make me happen if anything will, i know you did and you still do but i dunno
littlebitlucky13: yah i know..
littlebitlucky13: ..its never been this hard to talk to u
thestorysofar14: i kno
littlebitlucky13: i just wish things were better... and i know u can never forgive me for my actions and the things ive said... but i know i need to change my attitude... and there are something u need to change too... but i just want us both to happy.. and whatever action that takes, then so be it.
thestorysofar14: wat do you want?
thestorysofar14: you want tob e just friends for a while or wat?
thestorysofar14: u said you wanted time apart today
littlebitlucky13: yah thats what i said... not what i want.. but if its gunna make u happy, then i guess so
thestorysofar14: littlebitlucky13: yah thats what i said
thestorysofar14: not what i want
thestorysofar14: ???
thestorysofar14: u said it
thestorysofar14: that means you want to
littlebitlucky13: but i dont want it
littlebitlucky13: i truly dont
littlebitlucky13: but if it will make things better, then yah
thestorysofar14: i dont know awat will make things better anymore jessalyn
littlebitlucky13: me either joe
littlebitlucky13: i gotta go though... if u want to talk just call me, dont call me unless u want to... maybe we can try to work things out... i dont know:-\
thestorysofar14: maybe you need to see wat it feels like without me and you going out and go out with other guys and do other things with your friends and things youve missed out casue of me i guess and find out which one makes you happier, i know that you make me happier and i prove that to you by choosin when i go out and always making time for you and not going out with other girls, and yes i know you can say the same thing about me but i dont know if its cause your not ready or watever but you dont show it so i dunno but anyways then when you decide or watever then we can talk about it, but im not gonna go through this fighting ever night
littlebitlucky13: i dont want to fight every night either.... i dont need to spend time with other guys and stuff.. and i havent missed out on anything.. and i know this for a fact... theyre all the same... theres just something about you that just keeps telling me not to let go of u... and i dont need a chance with any other guy cuz they wont mean anything... but i just need to learn how to show u that i truly care about u.. and love you... n i dont know how... but i dont want to know what it feels like without u there... i dont even want to go thru that... but thats just me... theres a difference between what i want and the right thing to do.. and prob the right thing to do is to let u b free so u can find someone that treats u better
thestorysofar14: you shoudl have to figure it out if you loved me then it usualy just happens naturallym i dont want you to try and love me, i just want you to love me
thestorysofar14: shouldnt*
thestorysofar14: stop puttin me in there like its about me finding someone better
littlebitlucky13: and i do love you... im not saying that im trying to... im saying i need to learn how to actually show u that i do in fact love u
thestorysofar14: cause you know its not
thestorysofar14: right and its not somethgin you learn to do, ill reprhase it
thestorysofar14: i dont want you to learn to show me love, i just want you to show me love
thestorysofar14: that make more sense to wat you sed
thestorysofar14: ?
littlebitlucky13: i suppose but i dont know what to do to show u
thestorysofar14: well then you dont fully love me yet or maybe you are and you just think your not showing it the right way
thestorysofar14: or soemthign id ont really know
littlebitlucky13: i guess all i kan say is that i love you.. and i mean that from the top and bottom of my heart
thestorysofar14: i still love you too but i dunno wat were gonna do , or wats gonna make it the same cause its not goin to be
thestorysofar14: but get off now and ill cal
thestorysofar14: k
littlebitlucky13: okie
thestorysofar14: bye
littlebitlucky13 signed off at 12:35:44 AM.
ITS REAAAAALY LONG, kinda not really, but if you want to read please do.
heres a really cool quote i saw, its kinda sad and depressing but its really good
"Somehow, the conversation mentioned your name. And someone asked if I knew you. Looking away I thought of all the times we had together; sharing laughter, tears, jokes and tons more. And then, without explanation you were gone. I looked to where they were waiting for an answer, and then said softly, 'Once...I thought I did.'"