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Character: Jiroubou
Series: Naruto
Character Age: 14
Canon: Let's face it, the shounen tale of Naruto, a young
ninja with a fondness for loud clothing trying to fulfill his dreams,
wouldn't be half as much fun if it weren't for the villains in equally
loud clothing trying to dash those dreams. And those villains wouldn't
get anywhere without their trusty cannon fodder minions. Thus
we have the body-snatching bad guy Orochimaru and his subordinates,
including his personal bodyguards: the Sound Four, badass delinquent
barrier experts extraordinaire and Uchiha Sasuke's escort down the
road to Sound ninja-dom.
Out of a team like this, which relies on a lot of flash and attitude,
Jiroubou of the South Gate has the unfortunate task of being the one who has
to talk common sense into his all-too-enthusiastic squadmates. Trying
to get the rest of the Sound Four to calm down, behave themselves, and
stop swearing has clearly taken its toll on both Jiroubou's
methodology and his ability to keep his temper when the situation
spins out of his control; when something really tries his patience,
he'll hit below the belt verbally and emotionally, and if a fight gets
beyond his ken, he'll just hit. Hard. And with boulders. Inferiority complex, traditionalist
views on women and questionable taste in hairstyles aside, Jiroubou is
a member of Orochimaru's elite for a good reason, and enemy ninja
forget that at their peril.
Sample Post:
Let me make one thing clear: I am not a
nurturing person. Responsible, maybe, not like I had much of a choice
in the matter given my dear teammates' habits-"Jiroubou, carry this
shit while I go play a nice folk air for angry blind demons"-but
nurturing? No. If you wanted nurturing, you should have left
the next generation of the shambling undead in the hands of a woman!
Do I look like a woman? Do you see me in a kitchen? Do I have
breas-don't any of you dare answer that. What kind of idiot dumps a
crowd of brats on an obviously preoccupied ninja, and then just
lurches off?
...fine, apparently a zombie idiot. That doesn't change the
fact that when any self-respecting person is confronted by a teacher
allowing his students to play with a bushfull of other people's
undergarments, it's only natural to speak up in protest! The
proper response to that is not to dump said brats on the
protester. I understand that he's your teacher and that a teacher must
have free reign over his students, but just look at this field trip
itinerary the idiot's left me with! I certainly don't think it should
include "Brain Eaters' Gentlemen' Club", especially when some of the
students are impressionable female children! Little zombie girls do
not need to learn how to pole dance!
I hope for your sake you did not just refer to me as "Mommy". I'm not
doing this for my own health--speaking of which, stop eating your
classmate's brain! It's not only unsanitary, it's probably unladylike.
Or at least use a napkin.--I was accosted by your moron of a teacher
while in the middle of quite an important mission, thank you very
much. My master sent me to make diplomatic overtures to the Director
in charge of this territory, because I happen to know how to behave
like a civilized human being...would you brats stop staring at the
lake? I know your eyeballs occasionally sag out of your head, but
that's no excuse not to look at me when I'm speaking to...oh.
...I sincerely hope that isn't the Director. I read that mission brief
very carefully, and nowhere were prehensile tentacles and cow-shaped
flotation devices mentioned.
Its name is Marcy? Fine. Stop blubbering and moaning like a pack of
weaklings and make yourselves useful by fetching me some big, sharp
sticks, an industrial-strength flame broiler and a supersized bag of
breadcrumbs. I don't want to hear a word about brains when there's
perfectly good calamari at hand.
Character: Jiroubou
Series: Naruto
Character Age: 14
Canon: Let's face it, the shounen tale of Naruto, a young
ninja with a fondness for loud clothing trying to fulfill his dreams,
wouldn't be half as much fun if it weren't for the villains in equally
loud clothing trying to dash those dreams. And those villains wouldn't
get anywhere without their trusty cannon fodder minions. Thus
we have the body-snatching bad guy Orochimaru and his subordinates,
including his personal bodyguards: the Sound Four, badass delinquent
barrier experts extraordinaire and Uchiha Sasuke's escort down the
road to Sound ninja-dom.
Out of a team like this, which relies on a lot of flash and attitude,
Jiroubou of the South Gate has the unfortunate task of being the one who has
to talk common sense into his all-too-enthusiastic squadmates. Trying
to get the rest of the Sound Four to calm down, behave themselves, and
stop swearing has clearly taken its toll on both Jiroubou's
methodology and his ability to keep his temper when the situation
spins out of his control; when something really tries his patience,
he'll hit below the belt verbally and emotionally, and if a fight gets
beyond his ken, he'll just hit. Hard. And with boulders. Inferiority complex, traditionalist
views on women and questionable taste in hairstyles aside, Jiroubou is
a member of Orochimaru's elite for a good reason, and enemy ninja
forget that at their peril.
Sample Post:
Let me make one thing clear: I am not a
nurturing person. Responsible, maybe, not like I had much of a choice
in the matter given my dear teammates' habits-"Jiroubou, carry this
shit while I go play a nice folk air for angry blind demons"-but
nurturing? No. If you wanted nurturing, you should have left
the next generation of the shambling undead in the hands of a woman!
Do I look like a woman? Do you see me in a kitchen? Do I have
breas-don't any of you dare answer that. What kind of idiot dumps a
crowd of brats on an obviously preoccupied ninja, and then just
lurches off?
...fine, apparently a zombie idiot. That doesn't change the
fact that when any self-respecting person is confronted by a teacher
allowing his students to play with a bushfull of other people's
undergarments, it's only natural to speak up in protest! The
proper response to that is not to dump said brats on the
protester. I understand that he's your teacher and that a teacher must
have free reign over his students, but just look at this field trip
itinerary the idiot's left me with! I certainly don't think it should
include "Brain Eaters' Gentlemen' Club", especially when some of the
students are impressionable female children! Little zombie girls do
not need to learn how to pole dance!
I hope for your sake you did not just refer to me as "Mommy". I'm not
doing this for my own health--speaking of which, stop eating your
classmate's brain! It's not only unsanitary, it's probably unladylike.
Or at least use a napkin.--I was accosted by your moron of a teacher
while in the middle of quite an important mission, thank you very
much. My master sent me to make diplomatic overtures to the Director
in charge of this territory, because I happen to know how to behave
like a civilized human being...would you brats stop staring at the
lake? I know your eyeballs occasionally sag out of your head, but
that's no excuse not to look at me when I'm speaking to...oh.
...I sincerely hope that isn't the Director. I read that mission brief
very carefully, and nowhere were prehensile tentacles and cow-shaped
flotation devices mentioned.
Its name is Marcy? Fine. Stop blubbering and moaning like a pack of
weaklings and make yourselves useful by fetching me some big, sharp
sticks, an industrial-strength flame broiler and a supersized bag of
breadcrumbs. I don't want to hear a word about brains when there's
perfectly good calamari at hand.