Recap of Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys (2004)!
I have learned that there are sixteen of these movies. I had thought maybe twelve. But then I remembered the next one is this crossover movie starring Corey Feldman as a daffy mad scientist, and even though I have never seen a Demonic Toys movie and don’t want to, I remember this one being pretty good.
It’s Christmas! I should have saved this for December, but you know, I’ve got that spirit year-round. And this year, the hot toys are an ugly baby doll and a bland teddy bear called Christmas Pals, and the commercial is on in the background in the workshop of the Toulon Doll Hospital as mad toy inventor Corey Feldman teaches his teen daughter about the magic puppet formula he and his ex-wife got at a flea market with a bunch of the franchise’s dollies. Tonight’s the night they finally get the potion right, and we have Six Shooter, Blade, Jester, and Pinhead dancing around and being all nice and stuff.
That night, two jerks break in to steal the puppets and get almost murdered but they escape, in the process burning the lab and hurting those sweet killer dollies. A pretty police officer flirts with Toulon as she investigates the break-in, and Corey Feldman is doing the scene in boxer shorts and I’m not mad.
Across town, Vanessa Angel is Erica Sharpe, the CEO of Sharpe Toys, makers of the Christmas Pals. She pulls a nice receptionist to be a virgin sacrificed to the Board of Directors, a group of demons housed in some cheap toys like a baby doll, a teddy bear, and a clown Jack-In-The-Box. Turns out the plot is that on Christmas Day, she and the demon Ba’al will make all the Christmas Pals come to life and kill children but only if they can kill Corey Feldman and his daughter. It’s kind of a Christmas edition of Halloween III. And as her assistant says, “Even without the massive blood sacrifice, this has been our most profitable quarter yet!” Hee.
Toulon figures out Sharpe is spying on him and sneaks into the toy factory on Christmas Eve while the score plays an 80s action movie version of Jingle Bells. It’s a hoot, my friends. The scenes of him running away from a foul-mouthed baby doll puppet, only to get arrested by that pretty cop in a cloud of delusional accusations and eye rolls, may be the peak of the Puppet Master series. She lets him go, but the Demonic Toys have time to sneak into the Doll Hospital, and when Sergeant Jessie swings by to follow up, they try to kill her, and now she’s team Toulon. As cute as Feldman is in this film, it should not take extra convincing, but fine.
We’re getting close to the climax, so the bad guys kidnap the Toulons to the toy factory and Sharpe really wants to have sex with Corey Feldman and in this movie, I can see why. For reference, I have been watching a parade of bad actors for the last eight movies and Mr. Feldman is an oasis. I may also have a problem.
Well, he won’t sleep with her, so she sics the demonic Jack-In-Box on him, and the Puppets versus the crap out of it. Just in time, Sergeant Jessie gets to the Sharpe factory to help Toulon find his daughter in the sacrifice room, arguing with Ba’al (wearing a demon mask and a Santa suit like a Buffy holiday special). Puppets fight Demonic Toys, and it’s really cute and funny, like when Blade pirouettes and turns the evil teddy bear into a pile of stuffing. And ultimately, they stall long enough that Toulon’s daughter isn’t sacrificed by sunrise, and the demon declares his contract with Sharpe Toys breached, and he drags Erica Sharpe to Hell. And Corey Feldman and his kid go to Sergeant Jessie’s for Christmas dinner because they didn’t have plans anyway and they are a family and also the puppets.
I loved this one so much and am so grateful it held up twenty years later. I think this is the first of the nine movies so far I can really enthusiastically recommend, maybe in December.
It’s Christmas! I should have saved this for December, but you know, I’ve got that spirit year-round. And this year, the hot toys are an ugly baby doll and a bland teddy bear called Christmas Pals, and the commercial is on in the background in the workshop of the Toulon Doll Hospital as mad toy inventor Corey Feldman teaches his teen daughter about the magic puppet formula he and his ex-wife got at a flea market with a bunch of the franchise’s dollies. Tonight’s the night they finally get the potion right, and we have Six Shooter, Blade, Jester, and Pinhead dancing around and being all nice and stuff.
That night, two jerks break in to steal the puppets and get almost murdered but they escape, in the process burning the lab and hurting those sweet killer dollies. A pretty police officer flirts with Toulon as she investigates the break-in, and Corey Feldman is doing the scene in boxer shorts and I’m not mad.
Across town, Vanessa Angel is Erica Sharpe, the CEO of Sharpe Toys, makers of the Christmas Pals. She pulls a nice receptionist to be a virgin sacrificed to the Board of Directors, a group of demons housed in some cheap toys like a baby doll, a teddy bear, and a clown Jack-In-The-Box. Turns out the plot is that on Christmas Day, she and the demon Ba’al will make all the Christmas Pals come to life and kill children but only if they can kill Corey Feldman and his daughter. It’s kind of a Christmas edition of Halloween III. And as her assistant says, “Even without the massive blood sacrifice, this has been our most profitable quarter yet!” Hee.
Toulon figures out Sharpe is spying on him and sneaks into the toy factory on Christmas Eve while the score plays an 80s action movie version of Jingle Bells. It’s a hoot, my friends. The scenes of him running away from a foul-mouthed baby doll puppet, only to get arrested by that pretty cop in a cloud of delusional accusations and eye rolls, may be the peak of the Puppet Master series. She lets him go, but the Demonic Toys have time to sneak into the Doll Hospital, and when Sergeant Jessie swings by to follow up, they try to kill her, and now she’s team Toulon. As cute as Feldman is in this film, it should not take extra convincing, but fine.
We’re getting close to the climax, so the bad guys kidnap the Toulons to the toy factory and Sharpe really wants to have sex with Corey Feldman and in this movie, I can see why. For reference, I have been watching a parade of bad actors for the last eight movies and Mr. Feldman is an oasis. I may also have a problem.
Well, he won’t sleep with her, so she sics the demonic Jack-In-Box on him, and the Puppets versus the crap out of it. Just in time, Sergeant Jessie gets to the Sharpe factory to help Toulon find his daughter in the sacrifice room, arguing with Ba’al (wearing a demon mask and a Santa suit like a Buffy holiday special). Puppets fight Demonic Toys, and it’s really cute and funny, like when Blade pirouettes and turns the evil teddy bear into a pile of stuffing. And ultimately, they stall long enough that Toulon’s daughter isn’t sacrificed by sunrise, and the demon declares his contract with Sharpe Toys breached, and he drags Erica Sharpe to Hell. And Corey Feldman and his kid go to Sergeant Jessie’s for Christmas dinner because they didn’t have plans anyway and they are a family and also the puppets.
I loved this one so much and am so grateful it held up twenty years later. I think this is the first of the nine movies so far I can really enthusiastically recommend, maybe in December.