It's all a-fallin' apart!
I am hating my life at this current moment. Every arena is chock-full of disappointments and failures. I am going to make a detailed list of how much my life sucks in all areas of my life.
Social: I have 0 friends in Seattle, and my only friends that live 300 miles away, I will not be able to see during winter break. I won't even be able to slut around gay bars with Taytay. Do you know how much that fucking sucks?? I only get 3 days of vacation in Vancouver. 3! Fucking gay. And other than that I'll be working overtime at the library. Let's not forget that I'm a huge fucking failure in the social arena as well, considering Adam and Danny and that whole circle of motherfuckers. I don't blame myself for that, it's just unfortunate. I met shitty people, and I ditched them; problem solved! But at the same time, I'm set back socially. My only friends are international students, who are awesome, don't get me wrong, but in the end, they amount to acquaintances, which is unfortunate. And that mostly has to do with the language gap. I just got done hanging out with a group of them, along with that creepster Ben, who has a girlfriend now, which leads into my other point.
Romantic: I have not had sex in about four months. I haven't dated in two months. I gave up on that shit because all I was meeting were uggos and creeps. Which, y'know, good for me, I can have meaning in my life without a boyfriend, I'm not a relationship-hopper like some people, I have time for myself, time to heal and all that wonderful bullshit. But at the same time, almost everyone I know is now in a new relationship or something. Especially the fucking creepy people, now is their time to shine on the romantic front. David, the creepy mo-fo with a small dick, creepy face and clingy personality is already in a relationship (apparently...maybe they broke up already, who knows?), BEN is in a relationship. Not only that, I had to be subjected to Ben being all touchy-feely and kissy-kissy with his girlfriend at that gathering I was at. Which makes me wonder. HOW. THE. FUCK. Are people just stupid? Ignorant? Needy? They'd have to be some combination of those three to be with those two undesirables. Especially Ben. My god. It makes me wonder if that's how people get into relationships so easily. Do they just whore themselves out emotionally to whoever they meet, or just grab and grab away at whatever's in front of them? Can people actually be satisfied being in a grabby relationship like that? Is that the basis for most relationships? Maybe that's why so many of them fail.
Job-wise/Monetary: My supervisors are turning into huge, demanding bitches and expecting more and more out of me, threatening me with being fired and whatnot, while at the same time, my money resources are fucking scarce thanks to my sister. Also, I have been informed that a rumor mill, or more succinctly, a "tattling ring" has formed at my work and now apparently I have to watch my fucking back because my co-workers are goody-two-shoes suck-ups who curry favor by tattling on other people's behavior. I can rise to the challenge, but at the same time, it's extra unnecessary stress.
Academic: My grades have slipped due to stupid mistakes that I have made. I haven't been paying attention to due dates and all that sort of shit. The thing is, I'm doing excellently in Japanese, but my other classes are slipping. I'm totally worried about what my grade is going to look like in all of those classes... Not only that but I have three huge fucking projects looming over me in these last few weeks of the quarter, and I'm so freaked out, I don't even know how to go about starting any of them. I fucking hate papers. I fucking hate projects. I fucking hate presentations. They are retarded and they suck and I don't like them very much and would like very much not to have to do them because they are unpleasant and faggy and make them go away please.
Health: I have had absolutely no time to go to the gym because when I'm not worrying about my projects, I'm in class, or on my way to class, or at work, or with my international friends. As a way of coping with stress, I have been eating sweets, and I recently started smoking again (after a one-week break). So, as a result, I feel gross about myself. And that feeling is compounded by my unfashionable clothes, outgrown haircut, fatness, etc. And um...my self-confidence just ain't there, ya heard?
So that pretty much covers it. I know that was long and rambly, but for those who don't feel like reading the entire thing (which I totally understand), here's Betty Butterfield, who pretty much sums up my feelings:
Social: I have 0 friends in Seattle, and my only friends that live 300 miles away, I will not be able to see during winter break. I won't even be able to slut around gay bars with Taytay. Do you know how much that fucking sucks?? I only get 3 days of vacation in Vancouver. 3! Fucking gay. And other than that I'll be working overtime at the library. Let's not forget that I'm a huge fucking failure in the social arena as well, considering Adam and Danny and that whole circle of motherfuckers. I don't blame myself for that, it's just unfortunate. I met shitty people, and I ditched them; problem solved! But at the same time, I'm set back socially. My only friends are international students, who are awesome, don't get me wrong, but in the end, they amount to acquaintances, which is unfortunate. And that mostly has to do with the language gap. I just got done hanging out with a group of them, along with that creepster Ben, who has a girlfriend now, which leads into my other point.
Romantic: I have not had sex in about four months. I haven't dated in two months. I gave up on that shit because all I was meeting were uggos and creeps. Which, y'know, good for me, I can have meaning in my life without a boyfriend, I'm not a relationship-hopper like some people, I have time for myself, time to heal and all that wonderful bullshit. But at the same time, almost everyone I know is now in a new relationship or something. Especially the fucking creepy people, now is their time to shine on the romantic front. David, the creepy mo-fo with a small dick, creepy face and clingy personality is already in a relationship (apparently...maybe they broke up already, who knows?), BEN is in a relationship. Not only that, I had to be subjected to Ben being all touchy-feely and kissy-kissy with his girlfriend at that gathering I was at. Which makes me wonder. HOW. THE. FUCK. Are people just stupid? Ignorant? Needy? They'd have to be some combination of those three to be with those two undesirables. Especially Ben. My god. It makes me wonder if that's how people get into relationships so easily. Do they just whore themselves out emotionally to whoever they meet, or just grab and grab away at whatever's in front of them? Can people actually be satisfied being in a grabby relationship like that? Is that the basis for most relationships? Maybe that's why so many of them fail.
Job-wise/Monetary: My supervisors are turning into huge, demanding bitches and expecting more and more out of me, threatening me with being fired and whatnot, while at the same time, my money resources are fucking scarce thanks to my sister. Also, I have been informed that a rumor mill, or more succinctly, a "tattling ring" has formed at my work and now apparently I have to watch my fucking back because my co-workers are goody-two-shoes suck-ups who curry favor by tattling on other people's behavior. I can rise to the challenge, but at the same time, it's extra unnecessary stress.
Academic: My grades have slipped due to stupid mistakes that I have made. I haven't been paying attention to due dates and all that sort of shit. The thing is, I'm doing excellently in Japanese, but my other classes are slipping. I'm totally worried about what my grade is going to look like in all of those classes... Not only that but I have three huge fucking projects looming over me in these last few weeks of the quarter, and I'm so freaked out, I don't even know how to go about starting any of them. I fucking hate papers. I fucking hate projects. I fucking hate presentations. They are retarded and they suck and I don't like them very much and would like very much not to have to do them because they are unpleasant and faggy and make them go away please.
Health: I have had absolutely no time to go to the gym because when I'm not worrying about my projects, I'm in class, or on my way to class, or at work, or with my international friends. As a way of coping with stress, I have been eating sweets, and I recently started smoking again (after a one-week break). So, as a result, I feel gross about myself. And that feeling is compounded by my unfashionable clothes, outgrown haircut, fatness, etc. And um...my self-confidence just ain't there, ya heard?
So that pretty much covers it. I know that was long and rambly, but for those who don't feel like reading the entire thing (which I totally understand), here's Betty Butterfield, who pretty much sums up my feelings:
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