Love, Selfish Love [One-shot]
Title: Love, Selfish Love
Word Count: 1,065
Pairing: 2Woon
Rating: PG
Summary: Jongwoon takes a risk, sacrificing his pride and conviction, only to end up changing his view of love and himself.
Disclaimer: Title taken from "Love, Selfish Love" by Patrick Stump
Jongwoon knew he was in trouble. He’d had this feeling before but he wasn’t expecting it to happen again, in this manner, with someone he was so sure he hated.
But deep down, he knew that it wasn’t something that happened when you expected it to. He hated that part of love, he really did.
He decides he needs to tell the person he’s got “this thing” for since it might make things progress to another level, but he feels a little apprehensive about it. But what if he was rejected? He didn’t want to deal with the feeling of not being good enough; he’d worked so hard in every aspect of life to keep that from happening.
He was still naïve in that respect. Sometimes these sorts of things couldn’t be planned or prevented.
But he wasn’t about to be stuck in a state of neverending questions.
Does he feel the same way?
What will he say if he does reject me?
What if it makes things awkward?
What if he does feel the same way?
What if he wants something more?
Despite his own feelings, some part of Jongwoon is a little uncomfortable with the idea of his feelings being reciprocated only because he’s not completely used to such an idea.
This was the first time he would ever be in danger of getting something more out of someone, and as much as he hated to admit it, he was scared.
It starts with sweaty hands and skin prickling. He’s shaking a little, feeling more nervous than he’s had in a long time (it’s been awhile since the last time he had to do something this terrifying). He paces back and forth, waiting for the opportune moment to approach the person he wants to talk to. He spies the object of his affection with friends and he’s about ready to turn tail and run. Too many witnesses would just put pressure on the situation.
But when Jongwoon notices him separating from the herd to walk in a different direction, he decides to take a chance and chase after him.
“Y-Youngwoon” he calls out, his voice cracking like a prepubescent boy. He stops in his tracks, trying to compose himself so he doesn’t come off too desperate.
Youngwoon turns around, a smile forms on his face. He stops and waits for Jongwoon to catch up to him, watching him as he does. Jongwoon is too nervous to read the atmosphere, thinking he’s about an inch away from his pride’s demise.
Then he sees that smile on Youngwoon’s face, and he starts to blush. He feels embarrassed and it’s even more humiliating when his face gives him away.
But Youngwoon doesn’t say a word, waiting for Jongwoon to say whatever it was that needed to be said.
The silence between them was awkward enough to elicit stares from the people surrounding them. Jongwoon realizes this and tells Youngwoon to forget it, thinking it better to keep his pride intact and to leave the situation as soon as possible.
But Youngwoon, surprisingly, reads into Jongwoon’s movements and decides to take the situation into his own hands. He tells Jongwoon to stop (which he does) and to turn back around (which he does) and gives him a cheerful smile complete with the eyesmile (that stupid eyesmile) that attracted Jongwoon in the first place.
Jongwoon stands in his place, awkwardly as he can, crossing and uncrossing his arms, never once making eye contact with Youngwoon. Youngwoon doesn’t stop smiling though, walking over to Jongwoon and giving him a once over (something that makes Jongwoon a little irritated; it was bad enough he liked this guy but did he have to do that?).
He then stands directly in front of Jongwoon, still smiling, enough to make Jongwoon want to punch him for being so cocky and carefree when he feels like falling over and dying. He feels like lunging out and killing Youngwoon when the other starts laughing haughtily, but he remains immobile.
“Why are you laughing?”
Youngwoon clutches his stomach a little before responding, something Jongwoon finds even more annoying than the smiling or the checking out.
“I just realized that-you’re really quite adorable.”
At first Jongwoon feels a sense of elation at the words but his next immediate thought and words as well are:
“Adorable? Really? Did you have to say adorable? Not cool? Not good-looking? Adorable?!”
“What’s wrong with adorable?”
Jongwoon’s regretting ever falling for someone this idiotic, he thinks to himself.
“Are you serious? I’m a grown man-I don’t want to be ‘adorable’ especially not to someone as stupid as you!”
“Stupid?” Youngwoon’s tone is calm, almost mocking because it’s quite obvious he’s keeping himself from bursting out into an obnoxious roar of laughter.
Jongwoon starts sputtering into gibberish, angry gibberish, trying to deal with the fact that Youngwoon was acting the way he was.
“I can’t believe I like you,” he says without thinking, only to realize a few seconds later that he has pretty much outed himself.
Everyone is staring at him now, especially Youngwoon who has a shocked expression on his face that makes Jongwoon want to crawl into a hole and die. But the shock wears off and is replaced with an odd sense of relief. Jongwoon is sure he sees it on Youngwoon’s face but he’s afraid of being presumptuous, lest he ends up humiliating himself even further.
He gets no verbal response which he starts to wish he did receive because now Youngwoon’s got him in a full embrace, in front of everyone else. He doesn’t put his arms around Youngwoon (the latter is practically crushing him under his brute strength) but he does nudge the other away, scratches his forehead, and shyly looks at the floor.
Youngwoon chuckles, and without either of them saying a word, he leads Jongwoon down the hallway, not quite hand-in-hand (Youngwoon grabs Jongwoon’s hand but Jongwoon pulls it away, only to be defeated when Youngwoon chooses a tight grip around the other’s wrist).
For once in his life, Jongwoon had taken a risk that didn’t leave him feel defeated and changed his view of love, the one thing he was sure he could fail at. When he looks at Youngwoon, he’s sure he’s finally won, and it makes his heart beat a little faster at the thought.
THE END
A/N: It's been awhile since I last wrote 2Woon n_n;; I'm not sure why that is since I adore this pairing, but that's not important! I finally wrote some and it's pretty fluffy which is a shock to me considering my "I'm not writing anything but porn" phase I've been in for that past...year? idk ANYWAYS, hope you liked this. If not, I'm sorry! If you did, you're awesome
Word Count: 1,065
Pairing: 2Woon
Rating: PG
Summary: Jongwoon takes a risk, sacrificing his pride and conviction, only to end up changing his view of love and himself.
Disclaimer: Title taken from "Love, Selfish Love" by Patrick Stump
Jongwoon knew he was in trouble. He’d had this feeling before but he wasn’t expecting it to happen again, in this manner, with someone he was so sure he hated.
But deep down, he knew that it wasn’t something that happened when you expected it to. He hated that part of love, he really did.
He decides he needs to tell the person he’s got “this thing” for since it might make things progress to another level, but he feels a little apprehensive about it. But what if he was rejected? He didn’t want to deal with the feeling of not being good enough; he’d worked so hard in every aspect of life to keep that from happening.
He was still naïve in that respect. Sometimes these sorts of things couldn’t be planned or prevented.
But he wasn’t about to be stuck in a state of neverending questions.
Does he feel the same way?
What will he say if he does reject me?
What if it makes things awkward?
What if he does feel the same way?
What if he wants something more?
Despite his own feelings, some part of Jongwoon is a little uncomfortable with the idea of his feelings being reciprocated only because he’s not completely used to such an idea.
This was the first time he would ever be in danger of getting something more out of someone, and as much as he hated to admit it, he was scared.
It starts with sweaty hands and skin prickling. He’s shaking a little, feeling more nervous than he’s had in a long time (it’s been awhile since the last time he had to do something this terrifying). He paces back and forth, waiting for the opportune moment to approach the person he wants to talk to. He spies the object of his affection with friends and he’s about ready to turn tail and run. Too many witnesses would just put pressure on the situation.
But when Jongwoon notices him separating from the herd to walk in a different direction, he decides to take a chance and chase after him.
“Y-Youngwoon” he calls out, his voice cracking like a prepubescent boy. He stops in his tracks, trying to compose himself so he doesn’t come off too desperate.
Youngwoon turns around, a smile forms on his face. He stops and waits for Jongwoon to catch up to him, watching him as he does. Jongwoon is too nervous to read the atmosphere, thinking he’s about an inch away from his pride’s demise.
Then he sees that smile on Youngwoon’s face, and he starts to blush. He feels embarrassed and it’s even more humiliating when his face gives him away.
But Youngwoon doesn’t say a word, waiting for Jongwoon to say whatever it was that needed to be said.
The silence between them was awkward enough to elicit stares from the people surrounding them. Jongwoon realizes this and tells Youngwoon to forget it, thinking it better to keep his pride intact and to leave the situation as soon as possible.
But Youngwoon, surprisingly, reads into Jongwoon’s movements and decides to take the situation into his own hands. He tells Jongwoon to stop (which he does) and to turn back around (which he does) and gives him a cheerful smile complete with the eyesmile (that stupid eyesmile) that attracted Jongwoon in the first place.
Jongwoon stands in his place, awkwardly as he can, crossing and uncrossing his arms, never once making eye contact with Youngwoon. Youngwoon doesn’t stop smiling though, walking over to Jongwoon and giving him a once over (something that makes Jongwoon a little irritated; it was bad enough he liked this guy but did he have to do that?).
He then stands directly in front of Jongwoon, still smiling, enough to make Jongwoon want to punch him for being so cocky and carefree when he feels like falling over and dying. He feels like lunging out and killing Youngwoon when the other starts laughing haughtily, but he remains immobile.
“Why are you laughing?”
Youngwoon clutches his stomach a little before responding, something Jongwoon finds even more annoying than the smiling or the checking out.
“I just realized that-you’re really quite adorable.”
At first Jongwoon feels a sense of elation at the words but his next immediate thought and words as well are:
“Adorable? Really? Did you have to say adorable? Not cool? Not good-looking? Adorable?!”
“What’s wrong with adorable?”
Jongwoon’s regretting ever falling for someone this idiotic, he thinks to himself.
“Are you serious? I’m a grown man-I don’t want to be ‘adorable’ especially not to someone as stupid as you!”
“Stupid?” Youngwoon’s tone is calm, almost mocking because it’s quite obvious he’s keeping himself from bursting out into an obnoxious roar of laughter.
Jongwoon starts sputtering into gibberish, angry gibberish, trying to deal with the fact that Youngwoon was acting the way he was.
“I can’t believe I like you,” he says without thinking, only to realize a few seconds later that he has pretty much outed himself.
Everyone is staring at him now, especially Youngwoon who has a shocked expression on his face that makes Jongwoon want to crawl into a hole and die. But the shock wears off and is replaced with an odd sense of relief. Jongwoon is sure he sees it on Youngwoon’s face but he’s afraid of being presumptuous, lest he ends up humiliating himself even further.
He gets no verbal response which he starts to wish he did receive because now Youngwoon’s got him in a full embrace, in front of everyone else. He doesn’t put his arms around Youngwoon (the latter is practically crushing him under his brute strength) but he does nudge the other away, scratches his forehead, and shyly looks at the floor.
Youngwoon chuckles, and without either of them saying a word, he leads Jongwoon down the hallway, not quite hand-in-hand (Youngwoon grabs Jongwoon’s hand but Jongwoon pulls it away, only to be defeated when Youngwoon chooses a tight grip around the other’s wrist).
For once in his life, Jongwoon had taken a risk that didn’t leave him feel defeated and changed his view of love, the one thing he was sure he could fail at. When he looks at Youngwoon, he’s sure he’s finally won, and it makes his heart beat a little faster at the thought.
THE END
A/N: It's been awhile since I last wrote 2Woon n_n;; I'm not sure why that is since I adore this pairing, but that's not important! I finally wrote some and it's pretty fluffy which is a shock to me considering my "I'm not writing anything but porn" phase I've been in for that past...year? idk ANYWAYS, hope you liked this. If not, I'm sorry! If you did, you're awesome