a sexy day to fuck + shakespeare-esque generated drabbles (absolute crack)
Pairings: gd/top, gd/seungri
Rating: r
Summary: OMG THIS THING IS THE BEST THING EVER. Just had to share some of the crackedness. God i was laughing so hard when I was reading these. (I didn't write these, they were made by a drabble generator.)
A Sexy Day To Fuck
Jiyong stepped ruthlessly out into the beautiful sunshine, and admired Seunghyun's lips. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a vulnerable sight."
Seunghyun climbed off the knife and walked wantonly across the grass to greet his lover. Jiyong patted Seunghyun on the eyes and then tried to fuck him desperately, but without success.
"That's all right," Seunghyun said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not lovely," Jiyong said. "Not as lovely as the time we fucked on a bed."
Seunghyun nodded adoringly. "We were aggressive back in those days."
"Our cocks were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Jiyong said. "Everything seems gorgeous and tantalizing when you're young."
"Of course," Seunghyun said. "But now we're fucking, we can still have fun. If we go about it mercilessly."
"Mercilessly?" Jiyong said. "But how?"
"With this," Seunghyun said and held out a horny bed. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to fuck."
Jiyong swallowed the bed at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to fuck mercilessly. They fucked with his legs open and waiting. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
------------------
Jiyong and Seungri
by William Shakespeare
Enter Jiyong
Seungri appears above at a window
Jiyong:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the booze, and Seungri is the shadow.
Arise, heartbreaking shadow, and fuck the beaten heart.
See, how he leans his thighs upon his cock!
O, that I were a glove upon that cock,
That I might touch that thighs!
Seungri:
O Jiyong, Jiyong! wherefore art thou Jiyong?
What's in a name? That which we call a collarbones
By any other name would smell as pretty little
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "invisible to all except those who know where to look"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove fucking.
Jiyong:
Swain, by yonder beaten heart I swear
That tips on the street the nostalgic cigarette--
Seungri:
O, swear not by the heart, the vulnerable heart,
That unbearably changes in its demure orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise demure.
Sweet, gorgeous night! A thousand times gorgeous night!
Parting is such lovely sorrow,
That I shall say gorgeous night till it be morrow.
Exit above
Jiyong:
Sleep dwell upon thy thighs, peace in thy cock!
Would I were sleep and peace, so heartlessly to rest!
desperately will I to my heartbreaking collarbones's cell,
Its help to fuck, and my pretty little collarbones to tell.
Rating: r
Summary: OMG THIS THING IS THE BEST THING EVER. Just had to share some of the crackedness. God i was laughing so hard when I was reading these. (I didn't write these, they were made by a drabble generator.)
A Sexy Day To Fuck
Jiyong stepped ruthlessly out into the beautiful sunshine, and admired Seunghyun's lips. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a vulnerable sight."
Seunghyun climbed off the knife and walked wantonly across the grass to greet his lover. Jiyong patted Seunghyun on the eyes and then tried to fuck him desperately, but without success.
"That's all right," Seunghyun said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not lovely," Jiyong said. "Not as lovely as the time we fucked on a bed."
Seunghyun nodded adoringly. "We were aggressive back in those days."
"Our cocks were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Jiyong said. "Everything seems gorgeous and tantalizing when you're young."
"Of course," Seunghyun said. "But now we're fucking, we can still have fun. If we go about it mercilessly."
"Mercilessly?" Jiyong said. "But how?"
"With this," Seunghyun said and held out a horny bed. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to fuck."
Jiyong swallowed the bed at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to fuck mercilessly. They fucked with his legs open and waiting. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
------------------
Jiyong and Seungri
by William Shakespeare
Enter Jiyong
Seungri appears above at a window
Jiyong:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the booze, and Seungri is the shadow.
Arise, heartbreaking shadow, and fuck the beaten heart.
See, how he leans his thighs upon his cock!
O, that I were a glove upon that cock,
That I might touch that thighs!
Seungri:
O Jiyong, Jiyong! wherefore art thou Jiyong?
What's in a name? That which we call a collarbones
By any other name would smell as pretty little
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "invisible to all except those who know where to look"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove fucking.
Jiyong:
Swain, by yonder beaten heart I swear
That tips on the street the nostalgic cigarette--
Seungri:
O, swear not by the heart, the vulnerable heart,
That unbearably changes in its demure orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise demure.
Sweet, gorgeous night! A thousand times gorgeous night!
Parting is such lovely sorrow,
That I shall say gorgeous night till it be morrow.
Exit above
Jiyong:
Sleep dwell upon thy thighs, peace in thy cock!
Would I were sleep and peace, so heartlessly to rest!
desperately will I to my heartbreaking collarbones's cell,
Its help to fuck, and my pretty little collarbones to tell.