KFA Presentation #1: Law of Attraction
I attended the event Kink 4 All: Boston on September 12th. It was basically an "unconference" where the presentations are determined by whoever is there and wants to present something. We showed up and wrote our presentation titles and names in empty slots on a designated bulletin board. Very straightforward, really.
I came to the event prepared to give just one presentation, on the "Law of Attraction," which I did end up giving. (On the spur of the moment, I chose to give another one, as well, which I will tell you about in a subsequent post.) This idea is one that's intrigued me for a long time now. I'm not necessarily sure that I believe in it literally, though I'm quite open to the possibility. I just know that I'm rather excited by the possibilities that it offers for getting what you want out of life. At the presentation itself, I focused on how it might be used to obtain kinky things, specifically. Here goes...
Presentation Outline:
The Law of Attraction (LoA) is the idea that we attract into our lives the things that we think about and focus upon the most -- whether we want them (love, wealth, success) or not (debt, loneliness, enemies). If one is inclined to believe in such an idea, there are at least two ways of looking at it:
In the context of the presentation, the question then became: What might we, as kinky people, want to attract into our lives? Ideas I brainstormed included lovers, play, friends and community, and gear. To illustrate one possible method, I used the example of multiple relationships -- specifically, how to attract multiple poly relationships into one's life. Here are the steps (based on Losier -- see resource list below):
(1) Conceptualize: Develop an idea of exactly what you want to attract. To do this, you may need to first think of what you don't want, but only long enough to use contrast to figure out what you do want. For example: "I don't want loneliness; I want companionship." Not blue balls/ovaries, but lots of sex. Not monotony, but variety. Not settling down, but activity. Not boredom, but excitement. Not serial monogamy, but multiple long-term commitments. Again, you must ultimately think not of the first part of each pair, but the second.
(2) (Optional) If you are spiritually inclined, you may choose to make a direct request to the universe, God, or whatever you believe in.
(3) Focus: Train your mind to focus intensely and passionally (and repeatedly!) on what you want. You may start with a statement such as the following:
I am in the process of attracting multiple relationships that will bring me companionship, commitment, sex, variety, activity, and excitement.
Then, you may go on to write what Losier calls a "desire statement," which should focus your attention and raise your emotional vibration by getting you excited about (and believing in) the universe bringing you what you want. In the case of our example, it may look as follows:
I am in the process of accomplishing everything I need to attract my ideal poly situation. I love knowing that my ideal partners care for and support me. I love the idea of sitting in the living room with all my partners for a movie and popcorn. It excites me to think of the varieties of emotional and physical intimacies I share with my ideal partners. I love seeing myself growing old with these people in my life. I love how it feels when my partners band together to do something special for me on my birthday. I've decided to take joy in an abundance of pleasure and love. The law of attraction is unfolding and orchestrating all that needs to happen to bring me my desire. [This last sentence should always go in there!]
Notice that I always speak in the present tense and that I speak with certainty of this desire coming to pass. This is important for increasing my belief in receiving what I want, which leads to the next part. (More info on desire statements)
(4) Allowing: Replacing negative, limiting thoughts with positive, abundant, enabling ones. Basically, doing what one must to remove any doubt from one's mind. For example, I may have some doubts about my ability to gain the relationships I desire, due to a shortage of people who are my type and polyamorous and who reciprocate my interest. Thus, to "allow," I might repeatedly make the following statement to myself:
Countless poly people are in satisfying, committed relationships. Connections were formed yesterday, are forming today, and will form tomorrow. A great many of these relationships will be for life. Right now, poly people are living in love and pride, and they are sharing affection at this very moment!
Saying these things will help me to dispel my doubts so that my thoughts can focus even more closely on what I want.
Additional techniques for using the LoA may include: gratitude journals, vision boards, creative visualization, and mind movies. (Google these!) If you are creative, you may include writing and/or visual arts.
One last thing I want to mention: Many people who learn about the LoA assume that it excuses people from seeking to attain what they want through their own efforts, but I consider this a misunderstanding. As I understand the LoA, I see it as more of a complement to people's efforts, than anything else. I see the LoA as something that we can harness to get luck and fate themselves to look more kindly upon our endeavors, which could not possibly be a bad thing! :-)
If you are interested in learning more about the LoA, please see the following
Further Resources:
Abundance Highway.
Arntz, William, et al. What the Bleep Do We Know!?: Discovering the Endless Possibilities for Altering Your Everyday Reality.
Byrne, Rhonda. The Secret.
Hicks, Esther and Jerry. Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires. (See also their other books and their website.)
Losier, Michael. Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don't. (Much of my LoA material in this presentation is based upon what I gleaned from Losier's book; thus, he deserves considerable credit!)
I came to the event prepared to give just one presentation, on the "Law of Attraction," which I did end up giving. (On the spur of the moment, I chose to give another one, as well, which I will tell you about in a subsequent post.) This idea is one that's intrigued me for a long time now. I'm not necessarily sure that I believe in it literally, though I'm quite open to the possibility. I just know that I'm rather excited by the possibilities that it offers for getting what you want out of life. At the presentation itself, I focused on how it might be used to obtain kinky things, specifically. Here goes...
Presentation Outline:
The Law of Attraction (LoA) is the idea that we attract into our lives the things that we think about and focus upon the most -- whether we want them (love, wealth, success) or not (debt, loneliness, enemies). If one is inclined to believe in such an idea, there are at least two ways of looking at it:
- First, a more New-Agey version is that our thoughts send out "vibrations" into the universe, which somehow receives the vibrations and sends us whatever we are thinking about the most intensely. Some sources (such as the movie What the Bleep Do We Know?) try to argue that the field of quantum physics supports this idea, an argument that I find misguided, at best. (That said, I'm not opposed to the idea of "vibrations.")
- Second, a more down-to-earth interpretation is simply that positive thinking can enhance our ability to see opportunities when they arise and can give us the confidence to act upon those opportunities.
In the context of the presentation, the question then became: What might we, as kinky people, want to attract into our lives? Ideas I brainstormed included lovers, play, friends and community, and gear. To illustrate one possible method, I used the example of multiple relationships -- specifically, how to attract multiple poly relationships into one's life. Here are the steps (based on Losier -- see resource list below):
(1) Conceptualize: Develop an idea of exactly what you want to attract. To do this, you may need to first think of what you don't want, but only long enough to use contrast to figure out what you do want. For example: "I don't want loneliness; I want companionship." Not blue balls/ovaries, but lots of sex. Not monotony, but variety. Not settling down, but activity. Not boredom, but excitement. Not serial monogamy, but multiple long-term commitments. Again, you must ultimately think not of the first part of each pair, but the second.
(2) (Optional) If you are spiritually inclined, you may choose to make a direct request to the universe, God, or whatever you believe in.
(3) Focus: Train your mind to focus intensely and passionally (and repeatedly!) on what you want. You may start with a statement such as the following:
I am in the process of attracting multiple relationships that will bring me companionship, commitment, sex, variety, activity, and excitement.
Then, you may go on to write what Losier calls a "desire statement," which should focus your attention and raise your emotional vibration by getting you excited about (and believing in) the universe bringing you what you want. In the case of our example, it may look as follows:
I am in the process of accomplishing everything I need to attract my ideal poly situation. I love knowing that my ideal partners care for and support me. I love the idea of sitting in the living room with all my partners for a movie and popcorn. It excites me to think of the varieties of emotional and physical intimacies I share with my ideal partners. I love seeing myself growing old with these people in my life. I love how it feels when my partners band together to do something special for me on my birthday. I've decided to take joy in an abundance of pleasure and love. The law of attraction is unfolding and orchestrating all that needs to happen to bring me my desire. [This last sentence should always go in there!]
Notice that I always speak in the present tense and that I speak with certainty of this desire coming to pass. This is important for increasing my belief in receiving what I want, which leads to the next part. (More info on desire statements)
(4) Allowing: Replacing negative, limiting thoughts with positive, abundant, enabling ones. Basically, doing what one must to remove any doubt from one's mind. For example, I may have some doubts about my ability to gain the relationships I desire, due to a shortage of people who are my type and polyamorous and who reciprocate my interest. Thus, to "allow," I might repeatedly make the following statement to myself:
Countless poly people are in satisfying, committed relationships. Connections were formed yesterday, are forming today, and will form tomorrow. A great many of these relationships will be for life. Right now, poly people are living in love and pride, and they are sharing affection at this very moment!
Saying these things will help me to dispel my doubts so that my thoughts can focus even more closely on what I want.
Additional techniques for using the LoA may include: gratitude journals, vision boards, creative visualization, and mind movies. (Google these!) If you are creative, you may include writing and/or visual arts.
One last thing I want to mention: Many people who learn about the LoA assume that it excuses people from seeking to attain what they want through their own efforts, but I consider this a misunderstanding. As I understand the LoA, I see it as more of a complement to people's efforts, than anything else. I see the LoA as something that we can harness to get luck and fate themselves to look more kindly upon our endeavors, which could not possibly be a bad thing! :-)
If you are interested in learning more about the LoA, please see the following
Further Resources:
Abundance Highway.
Arntz, William, et al. What the Bleep Do We Know!?: Discovering the Endless Possibilities for Altering Your Everyday Reality.
Byrne, Rhonda. The Secret.
Hicks, Esther and Jerry. Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires. (See also their other books and their website.)
Losier, Michael. Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don't. (Much of my LoA material in this presentation is based upon what I gleaned from Losier's book; thus, he deserves considerable credit!)