For the first time in a long time i can finally say I am so happy to be alive, and i am soooo happy thta switch ws finally made! i feel amazing, im gracious for my life, i love my family, i love my friends, i love my dog, and i am soooo in love with myself. I had a realization for the first time in months that im the only one who can change myself ( Read more... )

is it selfish to say that i wont be happy for my sister until im happy? i havent been really good about returning her calls. Its sad to say, but this distance thing is weird. Im scared to see how much weve changed when she comes to visit in 3 weeks. i havent seen her in 7 months. thats just weird.

So after long thought, i have finally decided to go see a therapist (again). Maybe that is a better option to my mental state. Maybe i just need that one person whom i can share any thought or problem with, and specially someone who can listen without judgement. I havent seen a therapist in sometime now, and i feel like im at a mature state of mind ( Read more... )

what i want from you ( Read more... )

Wow..................... I am not surprised she hasnt changed, its sickening. I was disgusted once again from a 5miniute chat. I thought i would see where in life she was at, maybe she had changed for the better. Yeah, well she hasnt, and i am not at all surprised. The things she said were sad, and the fact she hasnt changed is exactly who she is ( Read more... )

I want sex, and i want it now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ugh, ive been sexually frustrated for way to long!!!!! i shoulda taken it when i had the chance, but no!!! i had to be nice and friendly. i suck.

I saw my psychiatrist. he was glad i came back, but also said he needs to be strict with me. Ive been in and out with him for almost 2 years, and never taking it seriously. So, baiscially this is my last chance of getting better with him. Im kinda scared because i dont want to fail, i want stick with getting better, im tired if feeling this way. ( Read more... )

So she called on saturday night leaving a voicemail, that she done before since she stood me up on new years eve. She is coming down next month and really wants to get together to talk. I am not a person to hold a grudge, i am just not that person to be like that. I know what she did was soooooo disgusting, ugly, and plain out MEAN. But it happened ( Read more... )

Its funny how much i freaking hate my moods.

The past couple of weeks ive been journaling my moods so i could have a better reality on them.

im sorta amazed how i can be so happy one day, and the next day i utterly dont want to live.

i am disgusted, and feel so selfish with the feeling of not wanting to make it through the day. I cant help these ( Read more... )

i am definateley getting back into writing in here more often ( Read more... )