friend or foe?
"Either God or cancer will take me."
Strong words, strong words.
Or rather, strong thoughts.
Those words just popped into my head one day.
And not without reason.
My godfather was taken by cancer.
And I saw him half an hour before his demise.
Even now, I can clearly see it.
The view outside the hospital window.
The curtain.
The bed.
His face, ironically, is slightly blurred.
Maybe because I am afraid to remember.
He was not himself when he went.
I wonder. How long had it been since he had already left?
Before his physical demise, cancer had robbed him of his spirit.
So yeah, it's either I naturally die by God's will or I get taken by cancer.
But today I have to rethink that.
Listen to the old man up there.
He might look ordinary.
An elderly Chinese man, shaven head.
And lots of strange bumps on his head and neck.
They look like pimples, giant ones? Sort of.
I ask my aunt, has he been ill?
Look at him. He apologizes and says thank you almost in the same breath.
Sorry, I have to sit today. I'm too weak to stand for an hour now.
Thank you, for taking time to listen to me today.
He addresses the audience,
Attentive, responsive listeners.
Listen to the friendly guy up there.
He is sharing precious bits of history.
It's nothing much, but his warmth highlights every word.
Then he says something much, much more catching.
'I found out that I had two ten cm tumours, one in each kidney.'
'I refused to go for an operation.'
'I don't care about it. We're going to co-exist, me and it.'
'For better or for worse.'
'I'd rather die on stage speaking than die in a hospital bed.'
'I don't care about the tumours, I carry on doing what is important to me.'
'Everything else can wait, except the cultivation of our souls.'
'I bet this is the first time you are hearing someone talk to cancer'
'Look! I'm carrying two bombs that could explode any moment!'
'I told it, be kind, we're co-existing. Don't do anything to me and I won't do anything to you.'
Look at him.
An extraordinary man who is living.
A man full of spirit, of life.
Cancer is with him, but he'll rather be taken away
By God instead.
One can only imagine what kind of physical and mental pain he could have gone through.
But he doesn't show it. He embraces the cancer, not in the manner one would expect.
Lost, depressed, dejected, hopeless.
He embraces it with life.
With passion and hope. With his goals and wishes and aspirations.
I have only seen this man speak twice.
Once, last year, where I could barely keep up.
Another time, today, where I saw a person who had not changed
Not much, but he was very different.
I wish I could tell him in person
你是一个非常令人敬爱的人。
-----
Today I went for buddhism class and the speaker today was one of our masters from Taiwan.
He was a great speaker and my aunt told me how every time he came to Singapore, the halls would always be packed. Today, I saw for myself why.
cancer. a much hated foe.
one who brings pain to the body and mind
cancer. a welcomed friend
one who boldens the zest for life.
Strong words, strong words.
Or rather, strong thoughts.
Those words just popped into my head one day.
And not without reason.
My godfather was taken by cancer.
And I saw him half an hour before his demise.
Even now, I can clearly see it.
The view outside the hospital window.
The curtain.
The bed.
His face, ironically, is slightly blurred.
Maybe because I am afraid to remember.
He was not himself when he went.
I wonder. How long had it been since he had already left?
Before his physical demise, cancer had robbed him of his spirit.
So yeah, it's either I naturally die by God's will or I get taken by cancer.
But today I have to rethink that.
Listen to the old man up there.
He might look ordinary.
An elderly Chinese man, shaven head.
And lots of strange bumps on his head and neck.
They look like pimples, giant ones? Sort of.
I ask my aunt, has he been ill?
Look at him. He apologizes and says thank you almost in the same breath.
Sorry, I have to sit today. I'm too weak to stand for an hour now.
Thank you, for taking time to listen to me today.
He addresses the audience,
Attentive, responsive listeners.
Listen to the friendly guy up there.
He is sharing precious bits of history.
It's nothing much, but his warmth highlights every word.
Then he says something much, much more catching.
'I found out that I had two ten cm tumours, one in each kidney.'
'I refused to go for an operation.'
'I don't care about it. We're going to co-exist, me and it.'
'For better or for worse.'
'I'd rather die on stage speaking than die in a hospital bed.'
'I don't care about the tumours, I carry on doing what is important to me.'
'Everything else can wait, except the cultivation of our souls.'
'I bet this is the first time you are hearing someone talk to cancer'
'Look! I'm carrying two bombs that could explode any moment!'
'I told it, be kind, we're co-existing. Don't do anything to me and I won't do anything to you.'
Look at him.
An extraordinary man who is living.
A man full of spirit, of life.
Cancer is with him, but he'll rather be taken away
By God instead.
One can only imagine what kind of physical and mental pain he could have gone through.
But he doesn't show it. He embraces the cancer, not in the manner one would expect.
Lost, depressed, dejected, hopeless.
He embraces it with life.
With passion and hope. With his goals and wishes and aspirations.
I have only seen this man speak twice.
Once, last year, where I could barely keep up.
Another time, today, where I saw a person who had not changed
Not much, but he was very different.
I wish I could tell him in person
你是一个非常令人敬爱的人。
-----
Today I went for buddhism class and the speaker today was one of our masters from Taiwan.
He was a great speaker and my aunt told me how every time he came to Singapore, the halls would always be packed. Today, I saw for myself why.
cancer. a much hated foe.
one who brings pain to the body and mind
cancer. a welcomed friend
one who boldens the zest for life.