When I wake up I feel odd. For one horrible moment I wonder if I'm changed again. I find that the answer is yes, but... it is not like before. I am drawn upward
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Lyra went to school, but left at lunch... they could call Draco, if they like, but no one here can keep her inside when there are questions burning in her heart. Does Draco have a daemon? What's she like? Do others she knows?
So she is delighted when she sees Faramir out of doors, accompanied by a daemon.
It truly hadn't occurred to me--several things, really. That this is the same thing as Lyra's Pan. That it is female.
Of course it would be. We call birds of prey 'she' because the female is usually stronger, larger, and faster, so it makes sense as well that my Feawil is female. Lyra and I spoke of it, a little bit.
"I woke and she was on the roof. I just knew to go there." Just like I know she could fly if she wished it and it would not hurt me like it might hurt others. I have no idea how I know it.
"This is the same as what you have?" I don't really know how to ask.
"She's me? But..." I'm not afraid of her. "She's, well, look at her. That isn't me."
I don't even know how to describe Feawil. She isn't the great eagle of stories but she's much larger than the same birds I've seen flying near Mount Mindolluin and fishing on the river in the wintertime.
"She's you, and she's not. Like Pan's me and he's not. But together, we're one thing. Whole. Not separate."
Lyra was trying not to stare at Feawil, as that would be rude, but Pan could stare, and was. They were learning about Faramir, even if he didn't realize it.
Lyra isn't really looking, so I turn to look at Feawil. No, she isn't menacing.
"You can see her well, yes?" She's right there and very large.
"How can I be whole with something like that?" I ask. Especially after the village's last trick--this must be the village--how could that be a part of me?
Lyra laughed. "How could you not be! She's a hunting bird, large and majestic... You're a warrior, aren't you? And some kind of important, 'cause your father certainly is..."
"I am a soldier, but because it was required of me." I'm not a born soldier like Boromir. "I'm the second son."
What would Boromir have looked like this way? He'd surely have been a full great eagle.
"Her name is Feawil, which means 'spirit of air' in Elvish. I just knew it, somehow. We haven't really talked." My face is somewhat red and I need to stop that. "I just wanted to be near her so I came down to sit, which seemed better than just staying on the roof all day."
I must control myself. It has been some time, yes, but to Lyra I am an adult and a teacher. All this bumbling about does not inspire confidence: no man would follow me if I acted this way.
"I believe that it was simply so overwhelming it did not occur to me yet to speak. I know that I will be camping out as long as she is here." I smile slightly. "I am a ranger, not merely a soldier."
"Feawil..." Lyra smiled at Faramir, while Pan became a falcon on her shoulder - he couldn't quite do an eagle - and gave his counterpart a well-bred nod in greeting.
Lyra noticed how Faramir was fumbling, and on an impulse she walked up closer to him and put a hand on his arm. "It's okay. She's new to you. She'll have known you forever, probably, but you've never been aware of her, before... but you'll get to know her, and you'll see what I mean. Whole."
"It was the only choice I could make, for a number of reasons." I was disappointed at the time. "Even if I had not been so ordered, I would have become a soldier later, knowing how much Gondor needed fighting men. My father knew and so saved me time."
That is a way of putting it. He knew, he saw, and made sure that I was as ready as I could be for what was needed.
"I am sure you are right. These things are known to you even as they are new to me." In this, she is the teacher. "Perhaps were she the size of Pan she would not be so intimidating. I simply cannot carry her anywhere."
At least she, likewise, cannot carry me. That would be disturbing.
"I know some things about her, like her name, but am uncertain of how the knowledge came to me. I knew to go to the roof this morning as soon as I could." I also know I should stay with her and not inside overnight. Will Olore mind? "She doesn't seem to wish to fly from me. Is she going to need to hunt?"
I get no sense of that from her. It isn't like Olore.
"Well, it's like eavesdropping. You try not to listen when you're in line and people you don't know are talking near you, right? so you try not to listen when a human and his daemon are speaking. And if they're small daemons, a lot of times they'll speak near to their human in an undertone."
Lyra shrugged. "If they stick around, you'll get used to it. But I dunno if they will. I dunno why it happened, even."
"You overheard though you do not listen." That I understand.
"It is another of the village's decisions. We'll never know why." I don't believe we will, unless some of those who leave are told.
"I don't even know if they'll be here long enough for me to learn what is proper and what is not. It's very startling when you are not accustomed to it." And when part of me is an enormous, very impressive-looking bird.
So she is delighted when she sees Faramir out of doors, accompanied by a daemon.
"Oh - she's beautiful."
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Of course it would be. We call birds of prey 'she' because the female is usually stronger, larger, and faster, so it makes sense as well that my Feawil is female. Lyra and I spoke of it, a little bit.
"I woke and she was on the roof. I just knew to go there." Just like I know she could fly if she wished it and it would not hurt me like it might hurt others. I have no idea how I know it.
"This is the same as what you have?" I don't really know how to ask.
Reply
Reply
I don't even know how to describe Feawil. She isn't the great eagle of stories but she's much larger than the same birds I've seen flying near Mount Mindolluin and fishing on the river in the wintertime.
Reply
Lyra was trying not to stare at Feawil, as that would be rude, but Pan could stare, and was. They were learning about Faramir, even if he didn't realize it.
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"You can see her well, yes?" She's right there and very large.
"How can I be whole with something like that?" I ask. Especially after the village's last trick--this must be the village--how could that be a part of me?
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"Have you talked to her? What's her name?"
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What would Boromir have looked like this way? He'd surely have been a full great eagle.
"Her name is Feawil, which means 'spirit of air' in Elvish. I just knew it, somehow. We haven't really talked." My face is somewhat red and I need to stop that. "I just wanted to be near her so I came down to sit, which seemed better than just staying on the roof all day."
I must control myself. It has been some time, yes, but to Lyra I am an adult and a teacher. All this bumbling about does not inspire confidence: no man would follow me if I acted this way.
"I believe that it was simply so overwhelming it did not occur to me yet to speak. I know that I will be camping out as long as she is here." I smile slightly. "I am a ranger, not merely a soldier."
Reply
"Feawil..." Lyra smiled at Faramir, while Pan became a falcon on her shoulder - he couldn't quite do an eagle - and gave his counterpart a well-bred nod in greeting.
Lyra noticed how Faramir was fumbling, and on an impulse she walked up closer to him and put a hand on his arm. "It's okay. She's new to you. She'll have known you forever, probably, but you've never been aware of her, before... but you'll get to know her, and you'll see what I mean. Whole."
Reply
That is a way of putting it. He knew, he saw, and made sure that I was as ready as I could be for what was needed.
"I am sure you are right. These things are known to you even as they are new to me." In this, she is the teacher. "Perhaps were she the size of Pan she would not be so intimidating. I simply cannot carry her anywhere."
At least she, likewise, cannot carry me. That would be disturbing.
"I know some things about her, like her name, but am uncertain of how the knowledge came to me. I knew to go to the roof this morning as soon as I could." I also know I should stay with her and not inside overnight. Will Olore mind? "She doesn't seem to wish to fly from me. Is she going to need to hunt?"
I get no sense of that from her. It isn't like Olore.
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"She hasn't tried to speak with me, though she acknowledged her name." Does she not wish to, or simply not feel the need? "Can you talk with her?"
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For the first time, Feawil speaks to me.
'There was no harm--you did not know.' She is right.
I turn to Lyra.
"But you could hear that, even though she spoke to me? This is so new and there are rules that I do not know."
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Lyra shrugged. "If they stick around, you'll get used to it. But I dunno if they will. I dunno why it happened, even."
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"It is another of the village's decisions. We'll never know why." I don't believe we will, unless some of those who leave are told.
"I don't even know if they'll be here long enough for me to learn what is proper and what is not. It's very startling when you are not accustomed to it." And when part of me is an enormous, very impressive-looking bird.
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