Fic: The Composer and The Healer
It’s Blaine’s idea for them to take the Keirsey test together. It’s an assignment for his Psych class, but he insists that Kurt take it, too. “So we can understand each other better,” he says with a slow smile.
Kurt rolls his eyes (just a little - kindly) and eventually agrees. His boyfriend can be a total cheeseball sometimes, but he secretly adores that about him; though he tries not to encourage it too often. It’s sweet, really, how Blaine is geeking out over the test and how he wants to use it to make them a stronger couple.
Of course, they have to take the official, long form paper version. It requires almost an hour to finish, one very long, agonizing hour during which Blaine is - for some unknown reason - way across the room and far out of reach. Kurt struggles to focus on answering question after question, all the while wishing he could just be kissing Blaine. It isn’t a difficult test, and he’s admittedly a little curious about the results, but they spent plenty of time talking before they finally admitted their feelings for each other. There were more exciting things they could be doing with their somewhat limited free time outside of classes.
Kurt finishes counting the last of his answers and looks over to Blaine. He patiently watches him flipping pages and scribbling additions in the margins of the form. It’s late and they’re in the dorms, so they’re out of uniform. Blaine’s hair isn’t all full of gel anymore, and somehow manages to make the grey sweatpants and dark blue t-shirt he’s wearing seem sexy. It’s a good trick, too; because Kurt normally finds sweatpants inappropriate outside of a workout or dance setting. Kurt himself is dressed casually, but in skinny jeans not sweatpants.
“Are you done yet?” He whines, tapping his pencil impatiently on the Blaine’s desk.
“Gimme a second,” Blaine laughs, holding up a hand. “I’ve never been good at math.” His brow is furrowed as he counts under his breath, totaling up his score for the last section.
Kurt bites at his bottom lip, thinking how he absolutely would love a tumble in the sheets right now. Blaine finally looks up at him with a wide smile. “Ready?” Kurt nods enthusiastically, but stays put. “Well, then come here,” he laughs again, reaching out to Kurt. This is all the invitation Kurt needs to crash down onto the bed right next to Blaine.
“Hi,” Kurt mumbles, his gaze moving between his eyes to his lips, adoring the fact that he’s close to Blaine again. He’d like to touch him, but he’s foolishly still holding the test and a yellow number two pencil.
“Hi,” Blaine echoes. He places a gentle peck on Kurt’s lips and pulls Kurt into his side. “Do you want to go first, or should I?”
“You should. It’s for your class.”
Blaine nods, flips open his booklet, and clears his throat.
“INFP - ‘the Healer’,” he begins, doing those totally lame air quotes with his fingers. Kurt stifles a laugh, knowing that Blaine is taking this test very seriously. He doesn’t want to make him think he doesn’t care. “Healers present a calm and serene face to the world and can seem shy, even distant around others, but they have the capacity for personal caring rarely found in other types. Their great passion is to heal conflicts in the lives of those around them, while their profound sense of idealism comes from a strong personal sense of right and wrong.”
Kurt smiles to himself, remembering how Blaine had spent countless nights on the phone sympathizing with what he went through at McKinley, and how he drove all the way to Lima to stand with him against his bully, though he’d only known Kurt for one day. Blaine’s profound caring had all but baffled Kurt until now. He’d assumed something in him had elicited it, but he was beginning to see this was Blaine’s nature, not a response specific to him. However, the universality of his caring nature didn’t make Kurt feel any less special. Just because Blaine’s care wasn’t solely for him, didn’t make Blaine’s feelings any less genuine.
Blaine’s words during their first real conversation of any length come flooding back to him:
I got taunted at my old school, and it really pissed me off. I even complained about it to the faculty and they were sympathetic and all, but you could just tell nobody really cared.
That strong sense of wrong and right had always been one of Kurt’s favorite things about Blaine. Realizing Blaine is still reading, Kurt turns off his editorializing thoughts and tunes back in, hoping he hasn’t missed anything too important.
“Healers are adaptable, welcome new ideas and relate well with most others. They follow their heart, not their head, which means they can make errors of fact, but rarely of feeling.” Kurt feels Blaine’s warm palm absent-mindedly rubbing his back. He closes his eyes and continues to listen to Blaine’s smooth voice. “Healers deep commitment to the positive and the good is selfless and almost boundless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in.”
As Blaine reads out the last few words, he slides his hand under Kurt’s, lacing their fingers together. He looks up at Kurt with a smile that lights up his face.
“That’s you, exactly,” Kurt replies, squeezing his hand. “Strong, brave, opinionated and caring.” He pauses momentarily, considering if he should say the words that are on the tip of his tongue. “I’m amazed that you could care about me the way you do.”
“How could I not? You’re wonderful.”
“See? That’s what I mean. You can’t even imagine it being any other way.”
Blaine’s blushing now and tracing the same little circle over and over into the back of Kurt’s hand with his thumb. “Enough about me. I wanna hear about you. Read yours.
Kurt flips open the booklet to the page he’s dog-eared. “It says I’m an ISFP - the Composer.” Kurt looks up before continuing to read. “Composers are in tune with their senses and have a seemingly exceptional ability to work with color, tone, texture and flavor.”
“You do have practically unparalleled decorating skills and a killer fashion sense,” Blaine points out, interrupting.
Kurt can’t help but laugh. “And all this time I’d chalked up my exceptional decorating skills and killer fashion sense to being gay. Who knew it’s actually because I’m an ISFP?”
They exchange an amused look. He’s glad Blaine is willing to play a little, despite initially taking this all very seriously. “Though they often put long hours into their artistry, composers are impulsive and act in the here and now. The act is their master, not the reverse. Composers are especially sensitive to the pain and suffering of others and they sympathize freely with the sufferer.”
“Ooh, we have that in common!” Kurt exclaims looking up at Blaine, who nods approvingly.
His eyes return to the paper. “Composers tend to prefer not to express themselves verbally, but through their chosen ‘art’ - whatever it may be. Composers are usually not interested in the art of conversation; they prefer to feel the pulse of life by touch, in the muscles, the eyes, the ears and on the tongue.”
“What do you think?” Blaine asks, trying to establish eye contact with a suddenly glassy-eyed Kurt.
“Pretty accurate, yeah. Interesting,” Kurt nods, shaking himself back to the present. That last sentence had set his mind rolling in a totally different direction. “Speaking of,” Kurt says, setting down the test booklet and running his hand across Blaine’s chest and rests his hand on his right side. He kisses his boyfriend’s neck.
“Hey now,” Blaine exclaims, playfully pushing him away after a few kisses. “You really are hot for it tonight, aren’t you?”
“When am I not? Plus, we ISFP’s prefer to feel life not talk about it, remember?” He runs his hand down the length of Blaine’s leg. “And we have been talking all night.”
“We still have to read about our compatibility as a couple,” Blaine reminds him. “Wow. That test really has you pegged, impulsive little sneak.” Blaine raises an eyebrow, and lays his hand atop Kurt’s, moving it off his leg. “I promise, you can feel later.” He places a semi-apologetic peck on Kurt’s lips.
Kurt pouts, but doesn’t protest loudly. Truthfully, he’s intrigued now, too. Blaine flips a few more pages in his booklet to the section on type compatibility and scans until he finds their section and begins to read aloud.
“Usually gentle and kind, this pair is intensely passionate about their values and deeply held beliefs. They are sensitive to others' pain and strive to find happiness, balance and wholeness for themselves in order to help others find the same. They are deeply empathetic. They live life in an intently personal fashion, acting on the belief that each person is unique and that social norms should not hinder personal development or expression. They are quietly persistent in raising awareness of cherished causes and often fight for the underdog in quiet or not-so-quiet ways. They are usually tolerant and open-minded, insightful, flexible and understanding. They feel deeply grateful when someone takes the time to get to know them personally. They have good listening skills and are genuinely concerned and insightful people. Together and separately, they inspire others to be themselves.”
“So, basically, we’re the gay power couple of the century.” Kurt can’t resist the quip, and he’s delighted by the belly-laugh it elicits in Blaine. “Fighting injustice and intolerance at every turn.”
“Yeah, something like that,” Blaine answers, wiping away a few tears of laughter. He sets down the booklet and turns to face Kurt. “I like us,” Blaine states, matter-of-factly, taking both of Kurt’s hands in his. “We’re good people.”
“I haven’t always been so good,” Kurt admits, staring into those heartbreakingly deep gray-brown eyes. He’d been a downright manipulative jerk at times back at McKinley. “You bring it out in me.”
Blaine reaches up to hold Kurt’s chin. “It’s easier to be good when someone else is good to you. Trust me; we’ve both had our less than saintly moments. You were hurt. You had to protect yourself somehow. ” He stretches up to kiss the top of Kurt’s head. “None of that matters now. I’m here,” he whispers. Kurt smiles into Blaine’s shoulder.
“I’ve never met anyone like you, Kurt.” He continues. Kurt sits upright again to meet his eyes. He doesn’t say anything else. Kurt understands.
They complement each other perfectly. As long as they’re together, Kurt will create the world they share, in all its rich detail, and Blaine will keep it - and them - safe from anything that seeks to destroy it. And one by one, they’ll invite others into their world to show them the beauty of uniqueness and the value of self.
Kurt has never been happier than he is with Blaine. He doesn’t think he’ll find anyone who fits better. For a seventeen year-old, that should be a frightening realization, but it doesn’t scare Kurt. Sometimes his mind wanders to thoughts of having a family or growing old together. He knows he shouldn’t project them that far into the future, but he can’t help himself. It would take a monumental force to break what they’ve forged together.
“We can be done talking now, if you’d like,” Blaine appends, bringing Kurt back to the present. “I’m yours to feel all you want.”
“Suddenly, I don’t have the urge to jump your bones,” Kurt answers, surprising even himself. Their bout of self-discovery has left Kurt in a blissful, but contemplative state. “But I’ll take a rain check for tomorrow,” he chuckles. “Right now, I just wanna be with you,” he says, wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck. “I’ll let you be the little spoon for once.” He moves the papers off onto the nightstand and shifts to the head of the bed, extending his hand for Blaine to join him. They lie down together. He takes Blaine in his arms and presses a few soft kisses into the small bit of exposed skin at his shoulder.
“I love you,” Blaine says for the first time in their nearly six-month relationship. Something about his tone makes Kurt think he’s wanted to say it for a while. Though neither had been brave enough to say it until now, it had seemed to Kurt that it was mutually understood. One of those things that you feel and you don’t have to say. But Kurt isn’t complaining now that it’s out there.
“I love you more,” Kurt replies without hesitation.
---
Footnotes:
INFP & ISFP Compatibility Profile
INFP "Healer" Profile
ISFP "Composer" Profile