Hardest Thing
57. "The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them." - Stephen King
Neither of them would say it first. It didn't matter how many dates they had that went well and it didn't matter how many butterflies were in her stomach when he smiled at her.
She had been hurt before and she was not going to be the one that said it. If anyone should say it, it was him., He was the man and it was time that he manned up and told her what he thought of her. It didn't matter how she felt, and it didn't matter that she was the savior. This was one time that she was not going to save something. She wasn't going to be the one to make a fool of herself only to not have those feelings returned.
He was a stubborn pirate. He was used to people fearing him and doing anything he asked. He was not used to getting in touch with his emotions and telling anyone how much they met to him. It had been many years since he had said those words, and he didn't know if he'd ever be ready to say them again. It didn't matter that he felt them - saying them was something totally different.
It was a standoff between pirate and savoir. Neither one admitting what they were both feeling. Neither one ready to admit out loud how they felt just in case the other didn't feel the same way. They went on dates and had a wonderful time. But as Killian walked her to the door and kissed her goodnight, both of their hearts sped up at what could, but wouldn't happen.
Instead each night they parted ways with just a kiss. Neither said what they were thinking. Emma would go in and talk to her mom about it as her dad would make himself scarce. She would admit to Snow how she felt, but stayed resolute in her refusal to say it first to Killian. Killian would go back to his room and sulk. With on confident of his own, he would stew on his inability to get his Swan to say the one thing that he thought that he needed to hear.
It was because of Henry that they ended up talking about it at all. They never did figure out how he managed to get them locked in the diner alone and without a working phone, but the familiar setting, the full bottle of spiced rum, and the late hour loosened their tongues. They talked to each other and shared stories that had never told another soul. By the time Granny came in the morning to open the restaurant they had discussed everything that they could think of except for the one thing that they still hadn't said.
As Killian dropped her at her door in the early morning light, he smiled at her, and whispered into her ear.
"Always."
She smiled softly, and echoed his word.
To say anything else would just diminish what they both felt. And the unspoken meant more than the words ever could.