Fic [1 litre of tears]; The Heart Does Go On
Title: The Heart Does Go On
Genre: I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart) -- a theme from 31_days for the month of September.
Pairing: Asou Haruto, with snatches of Ikeuchi Aya
Disclaimer: Not mine, you guys. D:
Rating: G
Notes: There are many things to blame for this; Yuna Ito's version of "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion, the current weather in this country, and enerirenie. Dedicated to koneho, who told me that she likes such stories more.
Asou Haruto has fantastic dreams.
At night when he sleeps, he dreams of being a miracle worker-- a man who can heal just by looking at people, by touching people. He is a man who can restore broken bones, cure lepers, raise the dead.
Messiah complex? He doesn't know. Illnesses of people in his dreams change over time, from the light fevers to the terminal cancers. One thing does not. He heals them all, with a touch that warms, and they walk away feeling light and happy.
It isn't far from the truth, but not the actual truth, either. Haruto often does leave people with a feeling of lightness of being, but he cannot heal them; no one can. SCD is still incurable, and neurology being his chosen specialty, he often comes into contact with people who have lost all hope. He does not know how he has learnt to tell people they will die and leave people cheerful about it, but often, after he diagnoses yet another person with the same killing, disabling disease, he wonders how his mentor had told Ikeuchi Aya that there was no way in heaven or earth that her life could be saved.
*
Neurology is a cold, detached science, for a reason. One needs to be incredibly precise to the last decimal point where exactly to cut into a human brain.
The world turns, and some people die; most move on, and others do not. Life happens, as it is wont to do, and it goes on. Haruto often feels like a lead in one of those space tokusatsu shows, frozen through time in amber and granite, only to emerge years later in a brave, new world that he does not recognize. He feels old, age and sorrow creeping into his bones, despite being only someone in his early thirties. Often, he wakes up in the mornings, wondering what in the world it is that he is working towards, or living for, and he remembers her; being alive, just that, is already such a beautiful thing.
He gets up and goes through his morning routine for another day of trying to save lives and failing miserably; he goes home feeling burned-out and alone. He will go on, because he promised her, despite the fact that the only thing he wants now is nothing more than to be with her, once more.
*
Ikeuchi Ako gets married, and he attends the wedding just to congratulate the bride. As he hands off his present, she mumbles her thanks, and asks him how he's doing.
"The same as always," he replies truthfully, and Ako gives him a helpless sort of smile.
"Asou-sensei," she begins gently, a hand on his arm, "Aya-'nee would be glad to see you doing well."
He remembers one day when her parents came to the hospital, when he was still a junior resident; when Ikeuchi Shioka handed him a painting that Ako had made, the one that had hung at Higashikou. Shioka had told him, then, that he could still move on without her, and they would not take it against him; he told them he was sorry he couldn't save her.
Today, he knows the answer to that statement. He will never move on, because he buried his heart with her.
*
Asou Haruto has fantastic dreams.
At night when he sleeps, he dreams of Aya by his side, curled against him, warm and alive. She walks cheerfully, smiles brightly, he holds her hand and she clutches back, unafraid. He has healed her, and she is with him, and they will never be apart again.
He does not know what lies in the afterlife, being someone tasked to keep people here, but he likes to think that someday it will become real. His heart is her heart and her heart is his heart and it beats in his chest, keeping him alive, and he will step forward, as all things must.
And one day, he hopes, there will be no more need to walk any further.
One day, he will reach her.
Genre: I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart) -- a theme from 31_days for the month of September.
Pairing: Asou Haruto, with snatches of Ikeuchi Aya
Disclaimer: Not mine, you guys. D:
Rating: G
Notes: There are many things to blame for this; Yuna Ito's version of "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion, the current weather in this country, and enerirenie. Dedicated to koneho, who told me that she likes such stories more.
Asou Haruto has fantastic dreams.
At night when he sleeps, he dreams of being a miracle worker-- a man who can heal just by looking at people, by touching people. He is a man who can restore broken bones, cure lepers, raise the dead.
Messiah complex? He doesn't know. Illnesses of people in his dreams change over time, from the light fevers to the terminal cancers. One thing does not. He heals them all, with a touch that warms, and they walk away feeling light and happy.
It isn't far from the truth, but not the actual truth, either. Haruto often does leave people with a feeling of lightness of being, but he cannot heal them; no one can. SCD is still incurable, and neurology being his chosen specialty, he often comes into contact with people who have lost all hope. He does not know how he has learnt to tell people they will die and leave people cheerful about it, but often, after he diagnoses yet another person with the same killing, disabling disease, he wonders how his mentor had told Ikeuchi Aya that there was no way in heaven or earth that her life could be saved.
*
Neurology is a cold, detached science, for a reason. One needs to be incredibly precise to the last decimal point where exactly to cut into a human brain.
The world turns, and some people die; most move on, and others do not. Life happens, as it is wont to do, and it goes on. Haruto often feels like a lead in one of those space tokusatsu shows, frozen through time in amber and granite, only to emerge years later in a brave, new world that he does not recognize. He feels old, age and sorrow creeping into his bones, despite being only someone in his early thirties. Often, he wakes up in the mornings, wondering what in the world it is that he is working towards, or living for, and he remembers her; being alive, just that, is already such a beautiful thing.
He gets up and goes through his morning routine for another day of trying to save lives and failing miserably; he goes home feeling burned-out and alone. He will go on, because he promised her, despite the fact that the only thing he wants now is nothing more than to be with her, once more.
*
Ikeuchi Ako gets married, and he attends the wedding just to congratulate the bride. As he hands off his present, she mumbles her thanks, and asks him how he's doing.
"The same as always," he replies truthfully, and Ako gives him a helpless sort of smile.
"Asou-sensei," she begins gently, a hand on his arm, "Aya-'nee would be glad to see you doing well."
He remembers one day when her parents came to the hospital, when he was still a junior resident; when Ikeuchi Shioka handed him a painting that Ako had made, the one that had hung at Higashikou. Shioka had told him, then, that he could still move on without her, and they would not take it against him; he told them he was sorry he couldn't save her.
Today, he knows the answer to that statement. He will never move on, because he buried his heart with her.
*
Asou Haruto has fantastic dreams.
At night when he sleeps, he dreams of Aya by his side, curled against him, warm and alive. She walks cheerfully, smiles brightly, he holds her hand and she clutches back, unafraid. He has healed her, and she is with him, and they will never be apart again.
He does not know what lies in the afterlife, being someone tasked to keep people here, but he likes to think that someday it will become real. His heart is her heart and her heart is his heart and it beats in his chest, keeping him alive, and he will step forward, as all things must.
And one day, he hopes, there will be no more need to walk any further.
One day, he will reach her.