1. What was the first car your family had?
The first car I remember was Papa's black Ford. (Papa was my grandfather, and pretty much my father figure for the first three years of my life.) It was a 1950's model, which meant it was basically new because I was born in '54. But he still owned it when I was in my early 20's.
2. What was the name of your first pet and why?
My mother had a cocker spaniel named Cookie when I was born. I have no idea of why her name was Cookie. I do remember when my parents had her put to sleep. I took the news very well until, weeks later, I asked if we could go wake her up for a while so I could play with her.
3. What did you want to be when you grew up?
Silly as this sounds, throughout most of my childhood I wanted to own a pet shop.
4. What was the name of your elementary school?
Edgar Road School.
5. Who was your first best friend?
The first whose name I still remember would probably be Art Tinnemeier.
6. Are you still friends today, and if not, what happened?
No, I haven't seen him in 35 years. He went to a Catholic high school so we didn't interact as much when we were older, and we each pretty much went our own way after that. Last I heard, Art was living in India or Thailand or some such place.
7. What was your favorite board game?
Risk. (And suddenly I'm having flashbacks of Art Tinnemeier's strategy of holding Australia and building up his armies there.)
8. Did you play house or other make believe games?
At one time or other, of course.
9. Were you a Dungeons and Dragons geek?
I probably would have been if there'd been such a thing. I was 27 when I first discovered D&D.
10. Did you sleep with stuffed animals as a kid?
Didn't actually sleep with them, no. I had some.
11. Do you still sleep with stuffed animals?
Um, no, I still don't. But I still have some. We make them get off the bed when we're ready to go to sleep.
12. Who was the first person you looked up to when you were younger?
Papa (my grandfather).
13. Who was your favorite relative?
That would still be Papa.
14. Were you short or tall in elementary school?
About average.
15. Were you teased in school?
No more than any other kid.
16. What was the name of your favorite teacher?
This is a tough one because there are probably half a dozen teachers who I have really fond memories of, but I'm giving the prize to Mrs.MacMurray.
17. What was the name of your least favorite teacher?
This is an easy one. Mrs.Richter. I could be tempted to convert to Christianity just to believe in their Hell, just for the satisfaction of knowing that Mrs.Richter is probably burning there right now.
18. What was your best subject in school?
It varied a lot according to who the teacher was. I'd leap through hoops for the right teacher. In high school I did very well in English.
19. What was your worst subject in school?
Math. I actually had to go to summer school after 7th grade because I failed algebra. But, you know, I still don't give a crap what the value of "y" is.
20. Did you do well in Physical Education?
No, hated it. And I did not leap through hoops when I didn't enjoy something. I hated the way a couple of bullies would persecute the weakest kids, and how the "coach" (meaning somebody who wasn't intelligent enough to teach a real class) would look the other way.
21. Were you clumsy when you were younger?
Well I wasn't a pro tap dancer, but I didn't trip over my own feet either.
22. Who was your favorite band as a kid?
The Monkees.
23. What was your favorite movie as a kid?
"Bye Bye Birdie". It's still one of my favorites. Ann Margaret nearly turned me straight in that movie.
24. Did your parents read to you?
No, Papa read to me. A lot. In fact that's how he got the nickname "Papa". After hearing the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, I began calling him Papa Bear and my grandmother Mom-mom Bear, and eventually these were shortened to Papa and Mom-mom.
25. Did you have a favorite book?
In third or fourth grade I really enjoyed "The Enormous Egg".
26. What was your favorite restaurant as a kid?
Depends on what age. When I was very, very young in Little Rock my favorite was Frankie's Cafeteria. Later on, in Webster Groves, I really liked an Italian restaurant my dad would take us to called Roncaro's.
27. What TV or movie star did you have a crush on?
Bobby Sherman before he became a teen heart-throb, when he was still playing the role of Jeremy Bolt on "Here Come the Brides".
28. Do you now wonder what you were thinking?
No, I know exactly what I was thinking.
29. Who was your first crush in school?
When I was in second grade, long before I knew I was gay (or even what gay was), I had a crush on a fifth grader. I've no idea what his name was. He was a Big Kid so of course he didn't have anything to do with us Little Kids. During recess I'd watch him from afar.
30. As a child, what kind of car did you want when you grew up?
I wanted the Batmobile, of course.
31. Did your parents spank you?
Yes.
32. Did your parents fight a lot when you were a kid?
Not very often, at least not in front of us. They argued, of course, but they didn't actually fight.
33. Did your parents get divorced or stay married?
Okay, let me define something here. My dad married my mom when I was three and adopted me not long after that. He's the man who paid for me, fed me, dragged me to boringasfuck baseball games and rushed me to the hospital when he thought something was wrong with my appendix. So he's my "parent" as far as I'm concerned. He and my mom are still married. The man who donated sperm towards my creation divorced my mom when I was a year or two old. I don't fault him for that, my mom can be hard to live with, but he's not my "parent".
34. If they got divorced, how old were you when it happened?
I think I answered that above.
35. Did you ever run away from home?
Yes, once, but only for a few hours. I went to some friends' house and their mother convinced me to call my parents and go home.
36. How old were you when/if you first got glasses?
11 or 12.
37. Did you need braces or a retainer?
Both.
38. If you're male, how old were you when you had your first wet dream?
I'm going to say 12-13. Hard to remember. I would have taken notes if I'd known this was going to be on the test.
39. Both sexes when did you start shaving?
I think I was about 14.
40. Girls when did you start wearing a bra?
N/A
41. What was your first kiss like?
I guess it was okay. I honestly don't remember my "first kiss".
42. What did you do on your first date?
Okay, this I remember. I was a DeMolay and our local chapter was having a dance, so I'd invited Pam Wetton. This was my first "big person date", with me in a suit and her in a long dress. I had a corsage that my mom had to pin on her because I didn't have a clue as to what I was doing. My dad was driving us. But this big blizzard hit just as we were getting ready to leave and we never did make it to the dance. So my dad turned the car around and brought us back home, and Pam and I sat up the rest of the night playing Risk.
43. How old were you when you first drank?
I'm pretty sure I was 16.
44. Where was your first house?
The first house I remember living in was my grandparents' house in Little Rock, Arkansas. Don't know the address, but it was a green house with a hedge around the back garden. A little boy (toddler, like me) named Howard lived across the street.