(no subject)
I stole this from jsjeep4x4 and it's soooo true!
*I've bolded the ones that are true for me,
and I've only been there a little over 2 weeks.*
You might be a dispatcher if:
You have ever had to explain to a college educated, gainfully employed, tax paying property owner that: his/her child's lack of interest in vegetables was not a police matter.
You inform your new teenage driver, "I will always know!"
You have ever muttered the phrase: "They let him carry a GUN?"
You find yourself typing 'height' and 'weight' instead of 'width' and 'height' when adding dimensions to the HTML "IMG SRC" tags on your web-site.
You answer your home phone "9-1-1, what is your emergency?"
You spend more on fast food than utilities. ... not yet, but I can already tell this is gonna happen.
You see nothing wrong with eating a Taco Bell Grande Meal or pizza at 3 a.m.
You consider coffee and indispensable work tool.
You answer your home phone 'dispatch'.
You answer the dispatch phone 'hell' instead of hello.
The only thing that gets your adrenaline going is the walk to and from your car.
You find humor in other people's misery.
You're only happy if you have something to complain about.
You consider patience a weakness, not a virtue.
Your idea of a good night involves someone burning a house down, getting shot, chased or dismembered.
You have forgotten what it is like to actually eat a warm meal.
Your dog doesn't recognize you and the kids think you're just the person who drops by every now and then to bring groceries and do the laundry.
You think it's funny when a would-be suicide gets bored waiting for the gas from the stove to do it's thing and lights a cigarette to pass the time resulting in an explosion that leaves her neighbors homeless but she still survives.
You truly believe stupidity should be painful.
Dinner consists of a 2 liter bottle of soda and whatever you can scrounge out of the vending machine.
Antacid tablets, or better known as dispatcher candy, become your regular dessert.
You read the newspaper accounts of a major incident that occurred during your shift and can point out all the incorrect information...and then laugh
about it.
Family members comment about how 'nice' you used to be before you started this job.
You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac and/or birth control over certain parts of your city.
You have no idea what a holiday is, other than it's the day when everyone gets drunk and beats up their family members.
You can carry on more than four conversations simultaneously.
You have the bladder capacity of a tanker truck or of a small third world army.
You can resume a conversation with coworkers four hours later in mid-sentence and everyone knows what you are talking about.
You have a long term telephonic relationship with one or more paranoid schizophrenic PTSD suffering relatives of a public official.
You get impatient listening to people relate a story - You want 'just the facts'.
You believe 90% of the people can not look up a telephone number.
You get easily bored with happy content people.
You can talk on the phone, listen to the radio and type request into the computer at the same time without missing anything.
You think it is funny when a 'regular client' kills himself while breaking into a business.
You can give directions to any location in your city off the top of your head.
You can relate a 10 minute story over a 2 hour period, after many interruptions without losing your place.
You refuse to allow anyone to say 'have a quiet shift'.
You believe that the statement, 'It sure is quiet!' will bring down the wrath of God upon you.
You can give anyone the exact address of every bar in your jurisdiction.
You question the motives of anyone who makes an effort to get to know you after they learn your profession.
You know the phone number to every restaurant or business that delivers food, especially late at night.
You spell everything phonetically.
You can only tell time on a 24 hour clock.
You acknowledge your friends and families remarks with the time.
You have spent time explaining to officers, firefighters or EMT's the difference between a dispatcher and a personal assistant.
You live in fear of a full moon.
You are on a first name basis with every crazy lunatic in your jurisdiction.
You find no comfort in knowing that the equipment that you depend on to do your job and protect others was purchased at the lowest bid possible.
You respond faster to the name 'RADIO' or 'CENTRAL' than you do to your own name. ... actually it's Dispatch, but whatever.
You find yourself talking to family and friends in codes.
You have a tendency to giggle at your friends 'big' problems.
You respond 10-4 when told to please pull around to the first window at a fast food restaurant restaurant.
You tell cops and firefighters where to go without fear.
*I've bolded the ones that are true for me,
and I've only been there a little over 2 weeks.*
You might be a dispatcher if:
You have ever had to explain to a college educated, gainfully employed, tax paying property owner that: his/her child's lack of interest in vegetables was not a police matter.
You inform your new teenage driver, "I will always know!"
You have ever muttered the phrase: "They let him carry a GUN?"
You find yourself typing 'height' and 'weight' instead of 'width' and 'height' when adding dimensions to the HTML "IMG SRC" tags on your web-site.
You answer your home phone "9-1-1, what is your emergency?"
You spend more on fast food than utilities. ... not yet, but I can already tell this is gonna happen.
You see nothing wrong with eating a Taco Bell Grande Meal or pizza at 3 a.m.
You consider coffee and indispensable work tool.
You answer your home phone 'dispatch'.
You answer the dispatch phone 'hell' instead of hello.
The only thing that gets your adrenaline going is the walk to and from your car.
You find humor in other people's misery.
You're only happy if you have something to complain about.
You consider patience a weakness, not a virtue.
Your idea of a good night involves someone burning a house down, getting shot, chased or dismembered.
You have forgotten what it is like to actually eat a warm meal.
Your dog doesn't recognize you and the kids think you're just the person who drops by every now and then to bring groceries and do the laundry.
You think it's funny when a would-be suicide gets bored waiting for the gas from the stove to do it's thing and lights a cigarette to pass the time resulting in an explosion that leaves her neighbors homeless but she still survives.
You truly believe stupidity should be painful.
Dinner consists of a 2 liter bottle of soda and whatever you can scrounge out of the vending machine.
Antacid tablets, or better known as dispatcher candy, become your regular dessert.
You read the newspaper accounts of a major incident that occurred during your shift and can point out all the incorrect information...and then laugh
about it.
Family members comment about how 'nice' you used to be before you started this job.
You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac and/or birth control over certain parts of your city.
You have no idea what a holiday is, other than it's the day when everyone gets drunk and beats up their family members.
You can carry on more than four conversations simultaneously.
You have the bladder capacity of a tanker truck or of a small third world army.
You can resume a conversation with coworkers four hours later in mid-sentence and everyone knows what you are talking about.
You have a long term telephonic relationship with one or more paranoid schizophrenic PTSD suffering relatives of a public official.
You get impatient listening to people relate a story - You want 'just the facts'.
You believe 90% of the people can not look up a telephone number.
You get easily bored with happy content people.
You can talk on the phone, listen to the radio and type request into the computer at the same time without missing anything.
You think it is funny when a 'regular client' kills himself while breaking into a business.
You can give directions to any location in your city off the top of your head.
You can relate a 10 minute story over a 2 hour period, after many interruptions without losing your place.
You refuse to allow anyone to say 'have a quiet shift'.
You believe that the statement, 'It sure is quiet!' will bring down the wrath of God upon you.
You can give anyone the exact address of every bar in your jurisdiction.
You question the motives of anyone who makes an effort to get to know you after they learn your profession.
You know the phone number to every restaurant or business that delivers food, especially late at night.
You spell everything phonetically.
You can only tell time on a 24 hour clock.
You acknowledge your friends and families remarks with the time.
You have spent time explaining to officers, firefighters or EMT's the difference between a dispatcher and a personal assistant.
You live in fear of a full moon.
You are on a first name basis with every crazy lunatic in your jurisdiction.
You find no comfort in knowing that the equipment that you depend on to do your job and protect others was purchased at the lowest bid possible.
You respond faster to the name 'RADIO' or 'CENTRAL' than you do to your own name. ... actually it's Dispatch, but whatever.
You find yourself talking to family and friends in codes.
You have a tendency to giggle at your friends 'big' problems.
You respond 10-4 when told to please pull around to the first window at a fast food restaurant restaurant.
You tell cops and firefighters where to go without fear.