The return of WillSue.
TITLE: just something wierd
CULPRIT: snowbunny3
SUMMARY: just something i was thinking about during one of the scenes. Glad we feel like being specific today. Honestly, try to help your readers out a little bit when they're fishing for stories. SLASH
BEST LINE: “Get away from me,” Will spits suddenly on his feet looking down on me shaking with rage. Give the poor modifiers a break. According to proper grammar order, Will spits on his feet and his feet look down on Jack and Jack is shaking with rage.
Verdict:
NAME: Wilma Turner.
HAIR/EYES: Same as in the movie.
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: He tastes like sugar.
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: Jack's...well...it's an anagram of bugle, and let's leave it at that.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: POTC: Sooper Speshul Seekrit Fangirl Edition
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: Jack's one, true, bad romance novel heroine love. Yes, he is male, but he's still a bad romance novel heroine.
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: The ability to make Jack love, apologize and plead with Will.
THE "PLOT": So far, the story only follows the movie during Will and Jack's entrance scene into Tortuga. Apparently, Will has discovered feelings for Jack while on his voyage to rescue the love of his life, Elizabeth, and this revelation causes him to run headlong into a wall. Yes, WillSue really is that stupid. Jack picks him up, but Lady Contrivance steps in and causes Jack to try and pull Will into his arms, whereupon they both fall over. (For some reason, Jack is extremely clumsy in this fic.) The rest is just bad, bad foreplay, with Will being alternately pouty and loving and Jack acting like he actually has a lot of respect for Will at this point in the movie. Say it with me, Suethors: Jack wants Will for leverage. And no, that's not a kinky pirate trick.
NOTES: Remember the bad slash fic where Will was acting like a weak-willed strumpet and I snidely wondered whether Will was going to slap Jack and tell him he deserved it?
In this fic, he actually does it. Remind me never to tempt fate again.
EXCERPT:
^Wills thoughts^ And once again, a group of Wills takes the stage.
Why does he have to stand so close when the talks?
Take a step or two back Jack your invading my personal space! I guess invading personal space means automatic romance. It must be time for... Jack/Governor Swann OTP! *ponders* Never did get around to making those icons.
God does he always stand this close to people. If you had been paying any attention to his actions, you would know that yes, he does. He did with Elizabeth, Norrington, Governor Swann, you, Barbossa, the harbormaster...ooh, I forgot that one! Omgtheirloveissocorrupted!1!1
Will he ever stop----oh my God he didn't just do that!
*Twitch twitch* I twitch with you in sympathy, my friend. oh god why did he do that
$Jack thoughts$
Why dose he always fidget so when I talk?
Am I standing to close, I really can't tell had too much to drink.
There I'm done talking and ----------
DID I JUST LICK HIS FACE!! NO. You definitely didn't.
He taste like sugar I wonder how much rum Jack drank to get this inebriated.
Ahhhhh I'm not gay I think no I'm not I love how the canon characters are telling themselves all of the things that are true about the movie, and this fic makes it seem like they're in denial. Guess the entire movie was just a bit cover-up for Jack and Will's big gay love.TM
Oh dam
~~~~~~~~~~real time~~~~~~~~~~
SLAP
"I really don't think I deserved that"
SLAP
"Okay so maybe I did, Will wait I'm sorry dam" Dam? Is Jack calling Will his mother?
Will the obedient puppy doggy.
A/N This iz lilramona I’m writing this 4 mi best friend Kristen it’s supposed 2 cheer me up but it probably will be angsty because mi CD player on mi computer ate mi CD. Why would you ever spell "my" as "mi"? It has the same number of letters, so it doesn't take any more time to type than the correct word! Sob poor poor Ramones mania CD I’ll never forget you breaks into uncontrollable sobs. Sounds like a good idea.
Will
“Run keep running keep running” I repeat this over and over as I run away from Jack. Damn he’s hot. When writing fiction in a historical background, it's always nice to get the immediate feeling of being transported to another world, where characters act, think, and speak as they would in their own time and place. *wakes up from daydream* Drat. No don’t think that. I trip on something and go sprawling head first into a wall. I curl up there and rock trying not to cry about how freaked out I am. Wilma seems to undergo frequent lobotomies in slashfics.
$Jack$ Is the dollar sign because Jack is a greedy pirate, or just because the author felt that the story was too boring without intermittent symbols?
I run after Will stumbling slightly from the rum. When I finally find him he’s curled up by a wall rocking slightly. I think someone kidnapped Gollum and put him in this fic. Because I really wonder where the man who beat Jack in a duel and faced down Barbossa has gone. I pull him into my arms but he struggles and shoves me away sending me off balance I fall backwards.
“Get away from me,” Will spits suddenly on his feet looking down on me shaking with rage.
“Will I’m sorry please forgive me I was drunk… Still am,” I add thoughtfully as I struggle to stand up.
I think Jack would utter "Please forgive me?" as soon as he would say, "Think I'll give up piracy and go off and be a monk." I reach a hand out for help up but Will just stares at me with hatred in his eyes. “Will please…” I beg him quietly putting my hand down on the ground to try and push my self up again. A rough hand gently grabs my (a/n NOOOOO MI BATTERIES DIED AGAIN oh sorry better just be quiet and actually change the batteries yeah I’ll- I’ll be quiet now bi) I'll do my *HEADDESK* in capslock in honor of this inimitable Suethor. forearm pulling me up I look into Will’s eyes and- and see compassion- Two seconds ago, Will's eyes were full of hatred! I think too drunk ta care. I stumble forward pressing my mouth against his. He tenses slightly, and then is kissing me back. Soon I find my self pressed up against a wall with Will ravaging my mouth.
Will
‘Pull away from his mouth Will. Will pull away. WILL ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION?’ screams the voice inside my head (a/n the big one not the little one snicker) The what in the who and the what now?
‘No absolutely not,’ the other half of my mind replies while I start unbuttoning Jack’s shirt. Does Jack's shirt even have buttons? *checks* Not that I can see, except the cuffs. And those aren't buttoned, anyway. A hand grabs my own I look up and see Jack looking at me.
“No,” he says his voice harsh.
“Why not” I gasp out between shuddering breaths.
“Not here,” gasped Jack a now very noticeable bulge in the front of his trousers (a/n he he I’m soooooo gonna enjoy this Kristen will probably kill me 4 it though sigh).
“Where?” I asked catching his breath.
“The Interceptor,” Jack said simply dragging me to the ship. I followed behind Jack like an obedient puppy doggy. I have a feeling this is the fault of Snooky the bunny.