The Black Pearl isn't nearly as important as Lily Lamont!
Note: If it seems like I have abandoned the "enter" key, it's actually the Suethor's original formatting.
TITLE: Meeting Destiny
CULPRIT: SapphireSparrow
SUMMARY: Jack meets his destiny in a bar....who knew drinking all that rum would finally pay off
Best Line:"No woman will ever take your place." he said stroking her hair.
"Or ship?" she asked knowing that he loved the Pearl more than anything
"No, you bring freedom to my heart, no ship can do that." I've seen pedophile!Jack. I've seen Will spank his wife raw on their wedding night. I've seen Norrington abuse his daughter. I've seen Barbossa be sweet and cuddly. But with all of the bad Suefic, bad slash, and purple prose that I have skimmed, I am forced to say...This has got to be the most anti-canon sentence I have ever seen.
Why is this author a PotC fan?
Verdict:
Verdict upped from "rotten" solely for the Best Line.
NAME: Lily Lamont, formerly Captain Ludivine Lamont
HAIR/EYES/DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: "She was gorgeous. Her dark eyes alluring, almost the same deep amethyst *blinkblink* as her dress, her loose dark brown curls were hypnotizing as they bounced, reaching just past her shoulder blades, then as she passed he saw the back of her dress was cut almost past her waist line, revealing a very famous tattoo. He had heard tales from many seafarring men in his travels about that tattoo. A new one in tortuga. The tattoo that would be found on the most satisfying harlot in the caribbean." It's very handy when the Suethor gives us the Descriptive Paragraph.
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: A deep purple, strapless, satin dress with slits up the thigh. It accentuates her figure. Also, a tattoo: "A rose with two cross swords behind it. The stem of the rose was driping with blood."
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: Tortuga.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: Jack's...one...true...oh, I can't say it. *deep breath* She is Jack's One True Love who is more special than the Pearl because nothing, especially not the Pearl, can give Jack the kind of freedom that a woman does. *vomit*
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: Being more important to Jack than the Black Pearl.
THE "PLOT": Lily Lamont is Tortuga's finest strumpet. But of course, even though she's wealthy enough to afford a satin dress and sought after enough that she must be well-off, she hates her life, wah wah wah sob. Is it just me, or should all of these extremely rich whores who hate their lives just quit, since they have so much money? Or else they could set up a brothel of their own from their earnings. Besides which, she can't hate being a whore too much, since she right from the beginning she's smug about angering all of the other ladies who aren't getting as much business.
Anyway, Jack meets her, he's drunk, and even though drunk Sparrow + satisfying whore would usually make for a man not too interested in the personality of said lady, he immediately sees that she is strong, brave, and just the kind of person to take on board ship...as a crewmember. This is in spite of the fact that she has just burst into tears in his presence. I've said it before and I'll say it again: with Sue-crews like these, no wonder Barbossa mutinied.
It turns out that this Sue is the long-thought-dead Captain Lamont...an "infamous" pirate, of course. I wonder why she isn't made of sterner stuff, and why she's now a whore. Jack notices that she "needs freedom", but apparently she doesn't need it badly enough to go out and get it, instead of pining away in a tavern and waiting for a man to sweep her off her feet.
I stopped before I got to the part about Sue being so much more important to him than his ship. I really couldn't bear to comment on it again.
NOTES: Something particularly lame about this Sue is that she struts her stuff with much bravado, only to flop about like a beached fish whenever she's with Jack. She beds men for a living, smirking all the while, but with Jack, she decides to sob her heart out. When she isn't paying attention to Sparrow, Jack decides that she looks strong and healthy, but when she and Jack actually board the ship, all of a sudden the Sue is so weak that she can't lift a bag with her belongings in it, and has to have Teh Über Strong Man carry it for her. Ai. I kind of worry about these authors, sometimes. I hope they don't really believe in the kinds of things that they write. They're young, yes, but they really are old enough to know better.
ok NEW story, becuase people stopped reviewing my old one hopefully this one is better i had it up before but the gammer thing *cough* bit me in the ass so heres the new and improved version.
please tell me what you think
lov
Sapphire
CHAPTER 1
Lily slipped into her deep purple satin dress.
She laced the laces tight to accent her breasts Doesn't lacing your corset result in pushing your breasts down?, and make her waist seem smaller.
She sighed as she summed herself up in the mirror. "One last thing." she muttered as she slit her dress up to her mid thigh Because that would not make the threads unravel and result in a scraggly, frayed dress by the time half the night's work is done. and tore the threads that held the straps on. Making the entire dress fall to the floor.
"Perfect." she whispered just as she heard a knock on her door.
"Alright Mac im coming," she replied dryly. Lily was a whore. No denying , she was the best whore in Tortuga, but she still hated her life. Pleasing men but never finding pleasure. It looks to me like she at least finds pleasure in finding the "perfect" outfit to wear for the night.
It was boring. Did Tortuga look particularly boring to you guys?
She opened the door to find the ferverent old man wringing his hands nervously, he stopped and gaped.
"Lily Lamont, I've known you to dress dangerously but this.. this is.. well..." Mac couldn't think of any words to describe her.
"Oh but you haven't seen it all!" If she's wearing that dress, then yes he has. she said whirling around to show the extremely low V cut in the back of her dress behind the satin laces that held it together. Satin laces? WTF?
"Bloody hell. You won't be out there for long!" he smirked
" That's the plan." she said smirking back. Oh, yeah. She's totally bored and displeased, this one.
Lily slinked downstairs whirling about to show how her dress clung to her hips as eyes began to wander in her direction.
She saw the hopeful eyes of a few drunkards, which made her smirk Again with the smirking. All we need is a "devilish" or "spunky" in here., then she saw the angry look of the wenches already on their laps, which made her smile grow.
She noticed a rogue pirate at the back of the tavern with at least 2 girls on his lap and probably 3 sitting around him flirting. Probably three? What, she can't tell by looking how many girls are sitting around him?
"Must be worth having." She mumbled ,deciding to decend upon her new found prey. She's not born to be a prostitute, no sirree.
_______________________________
Jack was telling his story to a few hopeful whores , noticing that none of them were really at all attractive, just well built, as he would put it. Eh, he'd put it much more creatively than that.
Then she walked by. The imaginary violins started playing in the background.
She was gorgeous. Her dark eyes alluring, almost the same deep amethyst as her dress, her loose dark brown curls were hypnotizing as they bounced, reaching just past her shoulder blades, then as she passed he saw the back of her dress was cut almost past her waist line, revealing a very famous tattoo. He had heard tales from many seafarring men in his travels about that tattoo. A new one in tortuga. The tattoo that would be found on the most satisfying harlot in the caribbean.
At that moment Jack knew what he had to do. Run back to the Pearl before another wench tried to come between him and his ship.
Lily felt a hand on her nearly bare shoulder When she turned she saw it wasnt the man she had tryed to seduce, but a larger stout man with yellow teeth.
"Ello miss" he slurred.
"Ello sir." she replied
"I must tell you before you decide to purhase a night with me, I am currently engaged to the govenor of ...um... France... The what? The governor of France? There's just one? And he's in Tortuga at this very moment? ...Y'know, I somehow think that even a drunk pirate would know more about France than this Suethor. and , well if he finds out we've slept together.. he'll kill you." she lied Jack overheard and couldnt keep from smiling, she was a terrible liar.
The drunken mans eyes widened in horror at the thought,
"Oh, well my apologies then miss," he said dissapointedly.
Lily smirked AGAIN! and leaned towards his ear and whipered huskily I'd like to know how one "whipers" huskily., letting her words drip like venom.
"A kiss wouldn't be too much trouble though ..." she heard the man gulp and passionatley pressed her lips against his. How is this in any way dripping with venom?
Jack watched highly amused...oh yes... he had to have her.
Lily pulled back and smiled as the alchohol finally caught up with him and he passed out.
"Dont worry mate, happens to the best of us." she smirked Is it four times now? realizing all eyes were on her.
Before she could take a breath about 50 men swarmed around her trying to make offers to buy her. So, she's being sold as a slave, is she?
Suddenly she felt someone grab her arm and pull her from the mass of men.
She turned and was realieved to see it was the handsome man she had been trying to charm.
He was even more handsome close up. Somehow, I think Jack would be less enticing up close. He had a red bandana underneath a worn leather tricorne hat, that held back his mane of hair. Mane was the only real word to describe it, a huge mass of dark hair, with an unusual assortment of beads and other odds and ends. His deep
eyes were hypnotic and even more so because they were outlined in kohl.
"Ello luv, " He said in a rich husky voice This Suethor seems to have lots of stock words that she likes to use over and over.
A Puling Sue
Her.
She was something else, he couldnt beleive she was a whore. her beauty shot pangs through his heart and her seductive nature sent pangs elsewere.
He hated to leave her, but being himself he knew he had to.
He stood up and slipped into his trousers then started searching for his shirt.
As he bent down to pick it up Lily lept onto his back.
He shot up in surprise as she clung to him, with her legs wrapped around his middle.
"Trying to sneak out are ye?" She whispered playfully.
Her voice was calm and quiet , her breath hot on his neck.
"Ye caught me luv." He answered in a mocking tone.
"Dont worry though I intended to pay ye." Suuuure. *ponders* I wonder how many times Jack has been able to sneak out of a woman's room unnoticed. I suspect it's a lot. Jack pulled a few coins from his pocket.
She slid down off his back and pushed his hand away.
"Keep it." She whispered, feeling tears forming in the corners of her eyes.
"What?" he asked, dumbfounded
"I want you to remember me, and if you pay me like some common whore, you won't." She replied trying her best to choke back the tears threatening to spill over Jack seemed to remember Scarlet and Giselle okay. Of course, they were actually interesting.
"Luv, I dont think ye need te worry about that, yer reputation serves ye well." He smiled and fantasized about the previous night.
Lily sat down on the bed and hung her head, running her hands through her hair.
"What's wrong?" Jack sat next to her as he wrapped an arm around her waist.
Lily burst into sobs It's schizophrenic Sue! One moment she's smirking, flirting huskily, smirking, seducing, and smirking-and the next she's a weepy, emotionally dependent waif.
"Ye have no idea what it's like to be payed to have sex with old nasty fat men " Well, I don't know. Exactly how did Jack barter passage off that island? She burried her face in her hands and let her tears flow freely.
Jack tried to hide his laughter, apparently his reputation served him well also.
He pondered bringing her with him, . No, Jack! Resist! Come back from the dark side!
'She's strong and healthy. Strong...and yet slender. Let me just say, as a very muscular woman myself, that it's really either/or. If you have big muscles (especially if you're a woman of average height), you're not going to look like Barbie. Also, you'll probably have a bit of fat on you, as well. She could help on the ship... what are ye mad? a woman on the Black Pearl...Does Anamaria not exist now? She is beautiful...And that's helpful, how? the distraction might be a little much though. That can easily be handled.' Don't bet on it.
He cupped her chin in his hand and picked it up to look in her eyes.
"So ye dont like it here?" He asked staring into her eyes deeply.
"Where were you 10 seconds ago?" She asked ,not believing how stupid men could be. *bashes in Sue's head with a chamber pot* Little annoys me more than Sues complaining about how stupid a character is, when that canon character actually WAS smart in canon and she has MADE him stupid.
"Alright..then why dont ye come sail with me?" Jack answered back with a half smile
She smiled, and launched a huge hug on him causing him to fall backwards off the bed.
He laughed at her enthusiasm.
"Is that a yes then?" She laughed and placed a passionate kiss on his lips.
"When do we leave?" She asked
"Now." He said , laughing as she lept off of him to find a bag to pack her clothes in.
When Jack was fully dressed and ready he turned to check on her progress, and the sight took his breath away.
She was wearing skin tight breeches, dangerously low on her hips, All I can think of is Shrek becoming handsome and dropping his too-loose pants by accident. "Lookout, princess! Here comes the new me!" with black high heeled REALLY useful on a ship! leather boots and a tight , extremely short white top which the wind would blow open at the slightest opportunity, that was sleeveless and would make her get a bad case of sunburn with a square neck.
She noticed his staring and she walked over to him, puling HAH! So very, very appropriate. her top down a bit to reveal a tattoo just above her right breast.
A rose with two cross swords behind it. The stem of the rose was driping with blood.
"Lamont ..." he whispered " I knew i heard that name before."
" Formally Captain Lamont..." she replyed. Ohhh, I see. Well, actually I don't, since it would make no sense for an "infamous" pirate captain to whore herself out when she really wanted to sail the seas. If she's so renowned, there would be plenty of opportunities for her to climb on board a ship.
"Different first name.. thats what threw me off." He said.
Ludivine Lamont was an infamous pirate.. much like himself, rumor was she went down with her ship, The Bleeding Rose. Nice name! And we haven't heard of anything similar before! Apparently not.
"Well..." he said tearing his eyes from the tattoo. " Let's go."
He couldn't beleive his luck!
For as long as he could remember , he had hoped to come across the female pirate. Unfortunately, when he found her, she had slapped him twice and demanded to know where her boat was.
The Battle of the Bad, Stolen Dialogue
As they walked up to the ship, Jack took Lily's bag from her. He could tell it was heavy for her. But she's strong and healthy. Just remember that.
Of course it wasn't for him. Everyone knows that Jack has a He-Man physique. She smiled and plucked his hat off his head and plopped it on her own.
"Ye dont want to be doing that luv." He whispered pulling her close.
"No i really think i do." She asnwered back huskily. *gasp* She's Barbossa in disguise! No wonder she's so evil!
"And why would that be?" He asked growing intimidated WHAT?! by her bravery.
"Ye take somethin of mine.. I take something of your's , its only fair." She smiled and then burst into giggles as he picked her up.
She wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him.
As she did this , he snatched his hat back. She pulled back and frowned
"Ta!" He said smiling. She returned the smile and placed her feet on the ground.
When they reached the docks Lily stopped in awe at the sight before her.
The ship was a dark almost black wood, with huge black sails.
She had seen it in the harbor but didnt realize this was the ship she would be sailing on.
Jack noticed Lily was no longer beside him and smiled , bursting with pride ,when he saw the look on her face.
He walked up to her and shook her from her thoughts.
"Lovely isn't she?" He asked
"Ye have no idea." She answered still staring at the ship.
Jack laughed and gently grabbed her wrist urging her to continue.
Lily wiggled her hand until they were holding hands.
Palm against palm.
She saw Jack glance down at their hands and she couldnt help but remark.
"Not the affectionate type Captain?" She asked playfully
"No.. well... I...I..." Jack was speechless, he honestly didnt know what to say.
"Well let me try it your way." She whispered hotly.
She grabbed his wrist forcefully and slung herself into his body, putting his hand, which she was erlier holding, on her ass.
She ground her hips against his as she kissed him fiercley, then pulled back to see his now wide eyed expression.
"How's that?" She asked smiling mischeviously.
She knew she had started something,.
Jack just let out a groan and grabbed her hand in his , not her wrist this time, and rushed her aboard the Black Pearl.
As they reached the deck everyone turned.
Jack didnt slow his pace though, he just shouted over his shoulder at the crew ,
"This is Miss Lamont, This is me crew, Hoist the sails prepare to leave port."Lily smiled and waved but by then they were at his cabin door.
As soon as they were inside Lily found herself up against the closed door.
As Jack smothered her neck in kisses he locked the door.
Lily moaned as Jack kissed a trail up to her lips where he sent a smoldering fire throughout her body as their tongues raged a battle inside their mouths. And with the battling tongues, I think I'll leave you. *cackle* Sorry, heave_ho-ers. This fic is just too much.