Write or Die, pt 3
Attempt number three at write or die and this time I'm a bit more worried than before as not only do I have nothing to say, but my brain actually feels a bit empty. This time I've set it to evil mode, so who knows if that might actually catch up with me. I'm a bit bothered that it doesn't actually tell you the time frame of these modes but whatever. I'm not looking at the screen right now, but instead at the keys as I type. This is not natural for me, I've been typing since I was a young one, so not looking at the screen is a foreign concept at this point. I was taught that looking at the keys was a bad habit and I have long since been broken of such things. Man, I worry that I talk about the most boring things whenever I type one of these up. I guess I'm just too scared to let my mind really float away to places unknown. I think I would really like to, but I don't even know how. So instead here I am, just narrating my trip down write or die lane. How boring. How drab. I like Redwall. Have you ever read it? It's very much for children, but something about it sticks with me even as an adult. I haven't actually re-read it since I was a kid, I don't know why not. I bought some of the books but never ended up reading them. They're sitting on a shelf right now, I could go get them but I doubt I will at any given point. I don't read very much at all anymore. I mostly read on the internet, and even though it's a great deal of reading it doesn't really feel like I'm accomplishing the same thing I would be if I just picked up a book. Is that weird, or is that a normal way to feel? Furthermore, is it odd that I feel more comfortable reading articles and the like instead of a full-fledge book? Because it's not just reading on the computer that makes the difference. In fact, if I was going to read a book, I'd be more comfortable reading an ACTUAL book rather than one on the computer. So it must not be a matter of the screen itself, but I wonder if it's the idea of committing to a certain idea instead of just bouncing around here and there. Kind of like a fear of commitment, you know? oh wow it flashed at me just now I guess just going back to fix a typo is enough to get it a little angry. Isn't that great? So I really do have to keep moving. Anyways, where was I? Ah, yes, the fear of commitment to knowledge? now isn't that a funny thing? I know I have my issues with people, but the concept that I avoid reading any one source for too long is a subject I had not previously considered. It seems that my attention span has shortened, or maybe it's more complicated than that. It's a fear that if I lock myself in to any one thing, too many other, varied things will pass me by. Though consciously I really would prefer to keep my mind on one subject for longer, so is it odd that your conscious mind and subconscious mind could be so very opposed to one another? I think of smokers when I say that, who claim they want to quit. Their claims are more complicated than that, of course. Plenty of smokers claim they want to quit but it's not so simple. They like the idea of quitting, all of it except for the actual, you know, quitting part. They want the healthy benefits, they want the personal pride that comes along and consciously they know that means giving up the actual cigarettes. But their mind is kind of looking for a way to have its cake and eat it too. At least you can feel good about yourself because you WANT to quit, something like that. Man my hands are already kind of hurting, but I think that's the position I'm in. I don't want to change it because that would cause me to break from my typing for too long. So far I only had that one, brief red flash on the screen and I'd like to keep it that way. This is really another boring write or die, isn't it? I claimed that I hoped that through doing these I would scrape off the outer lair of bullshit but so far that hasn't been the case. I keep scraping, and there's more and more to be found. Well, I guess it's not big thing. Look, here I am again, narrating the write or die rather than letting my mind wander. A lot has happened lately, stuff that's totally worth writing about but somehow I never get around to it. We visited some psychic the other night and it was kind of interesting. The woman was very good and I was quite impressed with the things she said. Though it may just be a matter of being particularly good at reading people. There was a guy there, who wasn't really THE psychic, but he seemed to know her and she thought he had a lot of potential, I was not inclined to agree, personally. His predictions seemed silly, vague, and just telling people what he thinks a psychic wants to hear. She actually kept referring to us as a "room full of psychics" due to Jenna's representation of herself but I don't really think of myself that way. I kept wanting to correct her but I never did. Look, time is up now, goodbye everyone.