fic: the message that you made
I don't even remember how to post a fic. What goes in the header? Fuuuuuck.
The Message That You Made.
“I broke up with Kyle that day.” This is how. PG-13. 580 words. Angst. Title from "Aftermath" by Adam Lambert, which is my own personal Oliver theme song. Thanks to the incomparable keepaofthecheez for indoctrinating me into Kish fandom and reassuring me that this doesn't suck. Cross-posted to kyle_fish at her direction. Feedback is beloved.
--
As soon as he shut the door behind his parents, Oliver was all over Kyle. He just wanted to get away from it, he just wanted to forget, and this had become the best way. And Kyle went with it, leaning into the kiss like he always did, because the guy was pretty much perfect.
Oliver opened his mouth a little, licking Kyle’s lower lip, and Kyle pulled away. “Hey,” he said into Oliver’s mouth. He looked up from under his eyelashes. “You wanna talk about it?”
And Oliver knew that he should, the same way he knew that he wouldn’t. Kyle’s eyes were glazed but his expression was concerned, and it made Oliver’s heart and dick throb. “Later,” he choked out, and Kyle kissed him so sweetly and fiercely, just the press of his lips against Oliver’s that Oliver knew he understood. It was the millionth time Kyle had asked that question, first time he had ever said anything other than “no.”
Kyle brought his hand up to cup Oliver’s cheek. “You know I love you, baby.”
Oliver leaned into it. “I love you, too.” One of his hands skimmed from Kyle’s waist to his back, dipped below Kyle’s waistband. He could feel Kyle’s heartbeat thumping against his own chest-
-and then the door opened. It didn’t register until they heard Barbara gasp.
“Mom, I-“
“I forgot my gloves.” She picked them up, face unreadable, and turned to go.
“Mom, wait, I-“
“Mrs. Fish-“
The door closed.
Oliver sank into his desk chair, stomach turning. “Shit.” His muttered curse seemed abnormally loud in the quiet room.
“God, Oliver, I’m sorry.” Kyle moved towards him, rested a hand on the back of his neck. “But at least it’s out there now, right?” Oliver looked up at Kyle, face utterly blank. “I mean, this could be a good thing.”
Oliver shrugged Kyle’s hand from his shoulder. “In what possible world could this be a good thing?”
“Do you really want to stay closeted forever?”
“Of course not, but you don’t understand.”
“Then make me understand.”
“You can’t,” Oliver snarled, standing up.
Kyle’s face darkened. “Dammit, Ollie, I wanna take you a movie and buy you popcorn. I wanna kiss you in LOVE Park. I wanna go to museums with you, and hold hands, and not worry about who sees. I wanna have a life with you. And I thought you wanted that, too.”
“I do, but-“ his silence hung heavy in the air. He hated the way words came so easily to Kyle, when
he-how did he explain that this, with Kyle, made him a monster, when Kyle hadn’t understood the last time, or the time before that? When his eyes were so wide, wild and angry and sad for Oliver, like this was okay, beyond okay, like they deserved this if only Oliver would believe him. When Oliver’s parents would stop loving him, stop talking to them, if they knew, and oh, God, they did. His stomach lurched. How could he betray them like this? When he owed everything to them, and if it came down to a choice, he knew what he had to do. He looked away. “I can’t.”
“Yes, you can, Oliver. I love you.” Kyle moved towards him.
Oliver shut his eyes. “I think you should leave now.”
“Oliver-“
“Kyle, I’m sorry. Just go.”
He held his breath as he heard the door open, let it out when it closed. He would hurt fewer people this way.
--
The Message That You Made.
“I broke up with Kyle that day.” This is how. PG-13. 580 words. Angst. Title from "Aftermath" by Adam Lambert, which is my own personal Oliver theme song. Thanks to the incomparable keepaofthecheez for indoctrinating me into Kish fandom and reassuring me that this doesn't suck. Cross-posted to kyle_fish at her direction. Feedback is beloved.
--
As soon as he shut the door behind his parents, Oliver was all over Kyle. He just wanted to get away from it, he just wanted to forget, and this had become the best way. And Kyle went with it, leaning into the kiss like he always did, because the guy was pretty much perfect.
Oliver opened his mouth a little, licking Kyle’s lower lip, and Kyle pulled away. “Hey,” he said into Oliver’s mouth. He looked up from under his eyelashes. “You wanna talk about it?”
And Oliver knew that he should, the same way he knew that he wouldn’t. Kyle’s eyes were glazed but his expression was concerned, and it made Oliver’s heart and dick throb. “Later,” he choked out, and Kyle kissed him so sweetly and fiercely, just the press of his lips against Oliver’s that Oliver knew he understood. It was the millionth time Kyle had asked that question, first time he had ever said anything other than “no.”
Kyle brought his hand up to cup Oliver’s cheek. “You know I love you, baby.”
Oliver leaned into it. “I love you, too.” One of his hands skimmed from Kyle’s waist to his back, dipped below Kyle’s waistband. He could feel Kyle’s heartbeat thumping against his own chest-
-and then the door opened. It didn’t register until they heard Barbara gasp.
“Mom, I-“
“I forgot my gloves.” She picked them up, face unreadable, and turned to go.
“Mom, wait, I-“
“Mrs. Fish-“
The door closed.
Oliver sank into his desk chair, stomach turning. “Shit.” His muttered curse seemed abnormally loud in the quiet room.
“God, Oliver, I’m sorry.” Kyle moved towards him, rested a hand on the back of his neck. “But at least it’s out there now, right?” Oliver looked up at Kyle, face utterly blank. “I mean, this could be a good thing.”
Oliver shrugged Kyle’s hand from his shoulder. “In what possible world could this be a good thing?”
“Do you really want to stay closeted forever?”
“Of course not, but you don’t understand.”
“Then make me understand.”
“You can’t,” Oliver snarled, standing up.
Kyle’s face darkened. “Dammit, Ollie, I wanna take you a movie and buy you popcorn. I wanna kiss you in LOVE Park. I wanna go to museums with you, and hold hands, and not worry about who sees. I wanna have a life with you. And I thought you wanted that, too.”
“I do, but-“ his silence hung heavy in the air. He hated the way words came so easily to Kyle, when
he-how did he explain that this, with Kyle, made him a monster, when Kyle hadn’t understood the last time, or the time before that? When his eyes were so wide, wild and angry and sad for Oliver, like this was okay, beyond okay, like they deserved this if only Oliver would believe him. When Oliver’s parents would stop loving him, stop talking to them, if they knew, and oh, God, they did. His stomach lurched. How could he betray them like this? When he owed everything to them, and if it came down to a choice, he knew what he had to do. He looked away. “I can’t.”
“Yes, you can, Oliver. I love you.” Kyle moved towards him.
Oliver shut his eyes. “I think you should leave now.”
“Oliver-“
“Kyle, I’m sorry. Just go.”
He held his breath as he heard the door open, let it out when it closed. He would hurt fewer people this way.
--