Snape-centric one-shot
Title: Look at Me
Rating:PG
Pairings None
Warnings:Character Death, DH spoilers
Summary: Snape contemplates his actions.
Look At Me
In the few minutes of life he had remaining, Severus Snape had decided to show Harry Potter everything. Not just where the final Horcrux was; and why Potter had to give himself up for the cause, but everything. Most importantly, he had decided to show Harry his reason for doing the things he had done. Everything he had ever done had been for her. She had shaped his choices for over thirty years. Dumbledore had told him the virtues of love, but when it had come down to it, Dumbledore didn’t understand Snape, not really. Severus had been a tool for him, a means to an end. In the same way Potter was; a weapon for the “Greater Good”. Dumbledore had been a manipulative bastard, but was Snape any better in suggesting that Harry should let himself be killed by the Dark Lord? Maybe. He would choose differently from Dumbledore. He would choose to let Harry know everything. The lot. Let Harry understand his role as a lamb to the slaughter. It is our choices that make us who we are, Severus my boy. Never forget that. Something said to him years ago came back to him like a sledgehammer. So Snape chose. He let Potter see everything; everything he had never wanted the boy to see. But what did it matter now? He’d be dead soon, and then this whole pointless existence would be over. Let Potter take the mantle now. Let him choose.
With his last ounce of strength, Snape gave Potter the memories that would explain his pitiful life and the ridiculous choices he had been coerced into making. Snape the boy, Snape the student; Snape the spy. Snape the puppet, ruled by a master that looked like Santa Claus. It had been damn near impossible sometimes to not just throw the towel in and jump from the Astronomy tower. But he never had. Because of her.
Her. No one had ever told Severus he was worth anything on his own merit. Except her. She had loved him for who he was. She had run her fingers through his greasy hair and told him to ignore the bullies who didn’t understand him and were probably just jealous. She had loved him, and he had betrayed her. Let her down with one word. Mudblood. He had spent the rest of his life paying for that stupid mistake. Had been forced to spend six years teaching the boy who looked at him with Lily’s eyes through James’ face; spent six years saving his worthless hide more times than he wanted to think about, the whole time feeling as though he would never be worthy of his beautiful mother’s pointless sacrifice. But he was hers. His eyes were hers. The only link Severus still had to the possibility of his own goodness. He had to keep the boy alive. To keep her alive. Thus, as Severus Snape lay on the filthy floor of the Shrieking Shack, made all the more filthy by his own blood soaking into the floor boards, He closed his eyes and prayed to a God he had never believed in that Lily Evans had forgiven him.
Rating:PG
Pairings None
Warnings:Character Death, DH spoilers
Summary: Snape contemplates his actions.
Look At Me
In the few minutes of life he had remaining, Severus Snape had decided to show Harry Potter everything. Not just where the final Horcrux was; and why Potter had to give himself up for the cause, but everything. Most importantly, he had decided to show Harry his reason for doing the things he had done. Everything he had ever done had been for her. She had shaped his choices for over thirty years. Dumbledore had told him the virtues of love, but when it had come down to it, Dumbledore didn’t understand Snape, not really. Severus had been a tool for him, a means to an end. In the same way Potter was; a weapon for the “Greater Good”. Dumbledore had been a manipulative bastard, but was Snape any better in suggesting that Harry should let himself be killed by the Dark Lord? Maybe. He would choose differently from Dumbledore. He would choose to let Harry know everything. The lot. Let Harry understand his role as a lamb to the slaughter. It is our choices that make us who we are, Severus my boy. Never forget that. Something said to him years ago came back to him like a sledgehammer. So Snape chose. He let Potter see everything; everything he had never wanted the boy to see. But what did it matter now? He’d be dead soon, and then this whole pointless existence would be over. Let Potter take the mantle now. Let him choose.
With his last ounce of strength, Snape gave Potter the memories that would explain his pitiful life and the ridiculous choices he had been coerced into making. Snape the boy, Snape the student; Snape the spy. Snape the puppet, ruled by a master that looked like Santa Claus. It had been damn near impossible sometimes to not just throw the towel in and jump from the Astronomy tower. But he never had. Because of her.
Her. No one had ever told Severus he was worth anything on his own merit. Except her. She had loved him for who he was. She had run her fingers through his greasy hair and told him to ignore the bullies who didn’t understand him and were probably just jealous. She had loved him, and he had betrayed her. Let her down with one word. Mudblood. He had spent the rest of his life paying for that stupid mistake. Had been forced to spend six years teaching the boy who looked at him with Lily’s eyes through James’ face; spent six years saving his worthless hide more times than he wanted to think about, the whole time feeling as though he would never be worthy of his beautiful mother’s pointless sacrifice. But he was hers. His eyes were hers. The only link Severus still had to the possibility of his own goodness. He had to keep the boy alive. To keep her alive. Thus, as Severus Snape lay on the filthy floor of the Shrieking Shack, made all the more filthy by his own blood soaking into the floor boards, He closed his eyes and prayed to a God he had never believed in that Lily Evans had forgiven him.