Love and Tequila
I've written another Blades of Glory fic - there's something about Chazz and Jimmy that's just so fun to write!
Title: Love and Tequila
Rating: R (For slash - kissing)
Genre: Humour/Romance
Summary: Chazz is developing a crush on Jimmy. When the two men break out the Tequila bottle things start to get complicated.
Love and Tequlia by Hecate_12
Chazz Michael Michaels, ladies man extraordinaire, found himself in a bit of a dilemma. In the past, he had been the lone wolf. Live alone, skate alone. Find a girl, love her and leave her. Wham, bam Thank You Ma’am and don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.
But that was before... this. Before he’d been banned from Men’s Singles competition and had found himself working in a crappy thankless job that found him drunk or stoned off his skull ninety percent of the time. Before he started skating with the most annoying, girly, anal retentive asshole he had ever had the misfortune to meet. Before said asshole became his best friend and had resulted in one terrible drunken tattoo session with a guy who smelled of cheese.
Before the thought of touching Jimmy MacElroy made his stomach flip and his pulse race.
He wasn’t sure exactly when his little... obsession with his own skating partner began. Maybe when he’d slid down a wire on his own jockstrap to make sure they won the gold. Maybe after he’d seen the look on Jimmy’s face when he saw the tattoo. Maybe a bit later than that, who knew? Either way, Chazz was sure something wasn’t quite right when it came to his feelings for his “pretty lady”. It started with the details. The way Jimmy’s hair curled like crazy after he’d gotten out the shower, and wouldn’t calm down again until he’d used his favourite pink hairdryer on it. The way he’d sometimes arrange his Skittles into colour order and eat them sitting in front of the TV watching cartoons. The way he breathed out of his mouth. His mouth. That was possibly the undoing of Chazz Michael Michaels. Jimmy’s perfect, full-lipped mouth. No man should have a mouth that lovely, surely? Slowly, Chazz began to realise that he had a crush on a guy. That he had a hopeless, totally inappropriate crush on Jimmy. And Jimmy thankfully had no idea.
Chazz wasn’t entirely uncomfortable with the idea of having a crush on another man. He was pretty secure with the idea that sex was sex, and if two (or three) people felt good together then it didn’t matter if they had matching dongs or not. And anyway, it wasn’t the first time Chazz had had a crush on a guy. It was a crush on a guy that had led him to figure skating in the first place. One of the guys from the sewer skating ring had a cousin who was a figure skater, and Chazz had gone to watch him perform one evening. He had been beautiful, on the ice and off it, and Chazz had kept the memory of his routine in his ‘spank-bank’ for a long time. But now he was starting to get the same fluttery feeling when he watched Jimmy skate, and it was confusing the heck out of him. If Jimmy were a girl, the solution would simple; seduce her, get her into bed, get it out of his system and go back to skating. Easy. How the hell was he supposed to get over this one?
*** *** *** ***
It was Saturday night. Coach was spending the weekend with Jesse, Jimmy was out with Katie and Chazz was in the cabin on his own, watching some crappy movie, drinking and trying not think about the fact everyone else he knew seemed to be having sex this evening. He was about to go and open another beer when he heard the front door open. He turned round to see Jimmy storming into the cabin, tearing the leather jacket he had borrowed from Chazz from his shoulders.
“Hey man, what’s up? I thought you had a date tonight?” Chazz asked.
“Not anymore I don’t.” Jimmy replied, his face like thunder.
“What happened?”
“She... she...”
Chazz finished Jimmy’s sentence for him. “She dumped you, huh?”
Jimmy said nothing and simply strode into the kitchen, throwing open the cupboard door and grabbing a whiskey tumbler.
“She dumped me. She said I was too immature and she needed a real man.” He reached for the whiskey bottle.
“Um... MacElroy? What are you doing?”
“I’m going to get wasted. That’s what real men do isn’t it? You can help me. Real men get wasted with their buddies and talk about women. So let’s do that.” He grabbed a second whiskey tumbler from the cupboard. “Ice?”
Chazz placed a hand on his arm. “Dude, think about it. Do you really want to...?”
“Yes, I do! I’ve seen movies, I’ve read books. People break up and then they get absolutely hammered. So you can either join me, or I’ll be completely pathetic and do it alone. Don’t try and stop me.”
“Hey man, I wasn’t about to try and stop you. I just think maybe you shouldn’t drink neat whiskey if you’ve never drunk before. Maybe you should start on the beer.”
Jimmy put the glass back the counter. “Fine. Beer me.”
Chazz couldn’t actually remember the last time he’d seen Jimmy this angry; and he certainly never thought he’d ever hear him say “Beer me”. Part of him was a bit scared, and the other part was angry at the rest of him of being a bit turned on. And there was a tiny, traitorous part of the very back of his brain that wanted to let Jimmy get wasted and see what happened. He’d never seen someone get drunk for the first time before. He took a chance.
“Or, I’ve got a bottle of tequila somewhere. You get salt and a cut up a lemon and I’ll go get it.”
This is a very bad idea, the sensible part of his head was saying. But the other part that was bored, lonely and already pretty buzzed was telling him Yeah! Go for it! Get drunk and have fun and damn the consequences! This was the part that was winning the argument right now. Chazz brought the bottle of Tequila from where he had hidden it under Jimmy’s stuffed toys (who would ever look there?) and found Jimmy standing in the kitchen, salt shaker in one hand and lemon in the other.
“Uh... Chazz? What’s this stuff for?”
Chazz smiled. “You’ll see. Just slice up the lemon, grab a couple of shot glasses and come meet me in the living room.” He took the bottle into the living room and made himself at home. Shortly, Jimmy followed with the salt shaker and a neatly sliced lemon.
“So... now what?” He asked.
“You’ll like this Jimmy. It’s fun. You pour out the tequila...” he poured two shots of tequila, one for him, one for Jimmy. “Lick your finger and pour some salt on it.”
Jimmy looked confused. “Why?”
“You’ll see. Now, you lick the salt” Chazz licked the side of his finger. “Drink the Tequila” he threw the liquor down his throat and winced at the burning sensation. “Then suck the lemon.” He picked up a piece of perfectly sliced lemon and sucked on it, wincing some more. “You try.”
Jimmy looked terrified. “No way, that looks disgusting.”
“Come on, Princess, it’s not scary.”
“No... I’ve changed my mind. I was angry; my mind was all busy… I think I’ll just go to bed...” he got up to leave but Chazz grabbed Jimmy’s wrist and pulled him back down onto the sofa.
“No you don’t MacElroy. You’re a man now; it is time to partake of the honoured tradition of drinking until you can no longer remember your own name, let alone Katie’s.”
“You’re insane.”
“No, I’m just a guy. Now stop being a girl and drink the damn Tequila. Here, I’ll help you.”
Chazz took Jimmy’s hand and pressed the salt shaker into it. “Now lick your finger.”
Jimmy looked afraid. He tentatively licked the side of his index finger and poured some salt on it.
“Now... drink the Tequila.”
Jimmy closed his eyes, took a deep breath and knocked back the Tequila. He made a face that looked like he was going to be sick and started to choke.
“Oh... my... gosh...! Ew!”
Chazz laughed. “Quick! Suck the lemon! Go on!”
Jimmy grabbed a slice of lemon as though the future of his taste buds depended on it and bit down hard. He still looked like he was going to be sick.
“Congratulations, amigo! You are now a man. I’m so proud, I might cry.”
Jimmy sneered. “Don’t make fun of me Chazz. I’m never doing that again, that was disgusting.”
“C’mon, Jimmy! It gets easier the more you do it, trust me.” Chazz picked up the Tequila bottle and prepared another shot for himself. The evening was looking up, at last.
*** *** *** ***
Six shots later and Jimmy was looking considerably worse for wear. He had slid off the couch and was now sitting on the floor, his back resting against the couch and his legs laid out in front of him. Chazz had joined him on the floor and was busy slicing up another lemon. They still had half a bottle of Tequila to get through, after all.
“Chazz?”
“Yeah, Princess?”
“Is this normal?”
“Is what normal?”
Jimmy’s head slid onto his shoulder. “I can’t quite keep my head still. And the room’s spinning. Why is the room spinning?”
“Welcome to being drunk: part one - fuzzy vision.” Chazz raised his shot glass in a mock toast. Jimmy giggled.
“I’m drunk! Yay me!” He went to get up, then slid back onto his ass with a thump. “Oh. Whoops! I need to go pee!” Jimmy went to stand up a second time, couldn’t manage it and decided to crawl to the bathroom, laughing the whole way. It was nice to hear him laugh, Chazz thought. He hadn’t heard it in a while. Maybe he should get Jimmy drunk more often. He heard the toilet flush and then heard banging noises coming from the kitchen. He got up to go see what the hell Jimmy was doing to be making so much noise.
“What’s going on?”
Jimmy was rooting around on his hands and knees in one of the low cupboards. “I’m so hungry!” He moaned. “Ooh, I know! Let’s make TOAST!”
“That is the best idea in the history of best ideas. And let’s put JAM on it!”
Jimmy grinned. “Yeah!” He pulled himself into a standing position and put four slices of bread into the toaster. Chazz went to get the strawberry jam out of the refrigerator. Jimmy sat on the counter while he waited for the toast to pop.
“Chazz?”
“Yeah?”
“Did anyone ever dump you?”
“Nope.” Chazz said. “I always do the dumping. You get a hint the girls gonna go bye bye, you haul ass and run.”
“I wish I’d done that.” Jimmy said, staring at his feet. “Then I wouldn’t have had to get so drunk. I’m gonna feel horrible tomorrow aren’t I?”
“Probably.” Chazz replied, honestly. “But I’ll see you through the whole thing, Princess, you’ll see.” The two men stared at each other. The moment was broken, however, by the sound of the toaster popping. Jimmy grinned. “Yay! Toast!”
Chazz took the toast and spread it with butter and jelly. Jimmy grabbed a slice and took an enormous bite. “Toast is awesome.” He said, mouth full.
“Yeah it is!” Chazz agreed. “And welcome to being drunk: part two - drunken munchies.”
Jimmy giggled again. This guy’s so obvious, Chazz thought. I totally had him down as a giggler.
They sat in silence for a bit while they finished eating. Then Jimmy spoke. “I suppose it was never meant to be, anyway.”
“What?”
“Me and Katie.” Jimmy sighed. “I’m just not meant to be with anyone, am I? I mean, I’m twenty nine years old and I’ve never had a girlfriend.”
“Dude, might wanna keep that to yourself.”
“Chazz, don’t. I’m being serious. I’ll just have to get a whole bunch of cats.”
Here we go, thought Chazz, part three - depression.
“My dad was right, wasn’t he? No-one wants to date me. I’m a skater, and that’s all I’ll ever be. I’m a freak.” Jimmy’s eyes started to fill with tears. Chazz was beginning to feel uncomfortable. He couldn’t have Jimmy crying. It was spoiling his buzz.
“MacElroy, look at me. Jimmy. Look at me.” At the sound of his given name, Jimmy looked up at Chazz.
“You are not a freak. You are clever, and funny, and... gorgeous.”
Jimmy’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“Yes. Trust me, I know gorgeous when I see it.” The part of Chazz’s brain that made him go get the Tequila in the first place reared its ugly head. Now, Michaels, do it now. “And you know what else?”
“What?”
Chazz moved his face closer to Jimmy’s. “You’ve got jam on your nose.” He closed his eyes and gently, tenderly, kissed the jam from the tip of Jimmy’s nose.
Jimmy looked shocked. Shocked, but not horrified. So far, so good.
“Did you just kiss me?” he asked, incredulously.
“Um... yeah.” part four - making out with your friends.
Jimmy leaned in and closed his eyes. Chazz took this as proof Jimmy wasn’t repulsed by the idea and kissed him again. On the lips. Softly at first, but when Jimmy moaned and opened his mouth slightly, Chazz went in for the kill and deepened the kiss, his tongue clashing with Jimmy’s. Jimmy’s mouth was soft and warm and Chazz could taste Tequila and strawberry. Jimmy’s hands were in Chazz’s hair, massaging the base of his skull and it felt wonderful. Chazz went to lift Jimmy’s shirt over his head, when Jimmy placed his hands over Chazz’s, stopping him.
“Not in here.”
“Why?” Chazz asked. “Coach won’t be home ‘til tomorrow night.”
“It’s unhygienic. Not in the kitchen, Chazz.”
Great. Thought Chazz. Even when he’s hammered he’s narcotic.
“It’s neurotic, not narcotic.” Jimmy corrected.
“Oh shit, did I say that out loud?”
“Yes you did. Now we go to the bedroom or we don’t do this at all.”
Chazz, still amazed that Jimmy wanted to do this at all, took his hand and led him into the bedroom. The two men sat on the edge of Jimmy’s bed and resumed kissing. Chazz’s pulse quickened and his stomach did back flips. This was wonderful. This time, when Chazz went to remove Jimmy’s shirt, there was no protest. Jimmy even took Chazz’s shirt off for him. Chazz closed his eyes as Jimmy proceeded to kiss and lick the base of his neck, sending shivers up his spine.
“Man, that feels good.”
Jimmy smirked. “I can do some things right, then.”
“Oh yeah.”
Jimmy’s hands explored Chazz’s chest, luxuriating in the soft hair there, then went lower down his belly, slowly tracing along his scar. Chazz wanted to get back to kissing, but Jimmy pushed him back. “Later.” He moved his hands lower, to the top of the waistband of Chazz’s jeans. Chazz placed his hands over Jimmy’s.
“Have you done this before?”
“Not... really... no.”
“Then we have to stop right now before I can’t stop.”
“Why?” Jimmy looked like a kicked puppy. God, this was painful.
“Because... because I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” Oh man, that was it, Chazz thought. Might as well go sign up for the sex change op right now.
“I can do it, you know. I read one of Fairchild’s old Cosmopolitan magazines. It had an article called “The best sex he’ll ever get”. Jimmy wrapped his arm around Chazz’s torso.
“God bless Fairchild Van Waldenburg and all who sail in her.” Chazz said, dryly.
“You really don’t want to? You? Chazz ‘Sex fiend’ Michaels?”
May as well go the whole hog. “There’ll be plenty of time for that later.” So they kissed. All night.
*** *** *** ***
The following morning saw Jimmy with his head down the toilet, ‘offering up prayers to the porcelain Gods’ as Chazz called it. Chazz did what he always did when he had a hangover - took some aspirin and lay down with a wet washcloth over his eyes. After Jimmy had been in the toilet for nearly thirty minutes, however, Chazz took the washcloth off his face and went to go check on him. Jimmy had fallen asleep with his head resting against the side of the toilet bowl. That is ador… no, it’s not. It’s not adorable. He’s a grown man. Pull yourself together, Chazz. Chazz bent down and placed a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder, gently shaking him awake. “Hey. Princess. You ok?” Jimmy groaned.
“Oh, my word.” Jimmy lifted his head up from the toilet bowl and looked up at Chazz, bleary eyed.
“It’s ok man, it’s just a hangover - eat some waffles or something and you’ll be fine.”
Jimmy sighed. “I really wish I hadn’t drunk so much last night… I didn’t do anything stupid did I?”
Memories from the night before flashed in front of Chazz’s eyes - sitting alone, Jimmy coming in, drinking the Tequila, the toast… the kissing. Lots of it. He was a bit ashamed when he realised he actually felt a little sad that Jimmy didn’t remember anything. That was the idea wasn’t it? Get him so drunk he wouldn’t remember kissing you and then you can finally get this… whatever… out of your system. Pull yourself together Michaels, stop being such a girl. So, for the first time since they’d become friends, Chazz lied to Jimmy.
“No. No you didn’t do anything stupid.” He turned to leave the bathroom and get back to his bed and cold washcloth when he heard Jimmy speak.
“So kissing you for about five hours wasn’t stupid then?”
Chazz stopped in his tracks. Oh crap, what am I going to say? Yeah, I have a huge man-crush on you so I got you drunk so I could molest you and then I hoped you wouldn’t remember? No, he couldn’t say that. So he did the next best thing. He tried to start an argument.
“I wasn’t five hours, Pippi Longstocking. It was more like two. And anyway, Homeschool, you were begging for the Chazz-man.”
“You didn’t say no, though did you?”
Chazz gulped. “Shut up, MacElroy.” Chazz walked away from the bathroom, away from complicated conversations he never wanted to have with anyone, let alone with his best friend, and started to make coffee.Just ignore it and it’ll go away. But Jimmy MacElroy was nothing if not persistent. He followed Chazz into the kitchen and sat down at the table.
“Wanna know the real reason Katie broke up with me?” Jimmy asked.
“What?” Chazz asked, exasperated. He’d heard enough about Katie last night; he wasn’t in the mood to listen to any more.
“She realised something.”
“What did she realise?”
“That you have a crush on me.” Jimmy whispered.
Chazz froze. He knows!
“Um... I...” Chazz didn’t have anything to say. He was too tired to lie again.
“But that’s still not why she broke up with me.” Jimmy whispered, that stupid grin still firmly plastered on his face.
“Why did she break up with you then?”
“Because she knows I have a crush on you too.”
Chazz sat bolt upright. “You... wha... huh?!”
Jimmy then full out laughed. Chazz wasn’t sure if he wanted to kill Jimmy, or kiss the smug smile right off his stupid face.
He did the only sensible thing really. He reached out his arms and kissed him.
THE END
Title: Love and Tequila
Rating: R (For slash - kissing)
Genre: Humour/Romance
Summary: Chazz is developing a crush on Jimmy. When the two men break out the Tequila bottle things start to get complicated.
Love and Tequlia by Hecate_12
Chazz Michael Michaels, ladies man extraordinaire, found himself in a bit of a dilemma. In the past, he had been the lone wolf. Live alone, skate alone. Find a girl, love her and leave her. Wham, bam Thank You Ma’am and don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.
But that was before... this. Before he’d been banned from Men’s Singles competition and had found himself working in a crappy thankless job that found him drunk or stoned off his skull ninety percent of the time. Before he started skating with the most annoying, girly, anal retentive asshole he had ever had the misfortune to meet. Before said asshole became his best friend and had resulted in one terrible drunken tattoo session with a guy who smelled of cheese.
Before the thought of touching Jimmy MacElroy made his stomach flip and his pulse race.
He wasn’t sure exactly when his little... obsession with his own skating partner began. Maybe when he’d slid down a wire on his own jockstrap to make sure they won the gold. Maybe after he’d seen the look on Jimmy’s face when he saw the tattoo. Maybe a bit later than that, who knew? Either way, Chazz was sure something wasn’t quite right when it came to his feelings for his “pretty lady”. It started with the details. The way Jimmy’s hair curled like crazy after he’d gotten out the shower, and wouldn’t calm down again until he’d used his favourite pink hairdryer on it. The way he’d sometimes arrange his Skittles into colour order and eat them sitting in front of the TV watching cartoons. The way he breathed out of his mouth. His mouth. That was possibly the undoing of Chazz Michael Michaels. Jimmy’s perfect, full-lipped mouth. No man should have a mouth that lovely, surely? Slowly, Chazz began to realise that he had a crush on a guy. That he had a hopeless, totally inappropriate crush on Jimmy. And Jimmy thankfully had no idea.
Chazz wasn’t entirely uncomfortable with the idea of having a crush on another man. He was pretty secure with the idea that sex was sex, and if two (or three) people felt good together then it didn’t matter if they had matching dongs or not. And anyway, it wasn’t the first time Chazz had had a crush on a guy. It was a crush on a guy that had led him to figure skating in the first place. One of the guys from the sewer skating ring had a cousin who was a figure skater, and Chazz had gone to watch him perform one evening. He had been beautiful, on the ice and off it, and Chazz had kept the memory of his routine in his ‘spank-bank’ for a long time. But now he was starting to get the same fluttery feeling when he watched Jimmy skate, and it was confusing the heck out of him. If Jimmy were a girl, the solution would simple; seduce her, get her into bed, get it out of his system and go back to skating. Easy. How the hell was he supposed to get over this one?
*** *** *** ***
It was Saturday night. Coach was spending the weekend with Jesse, Jimmy was out with Katie and Chazz was in the cabin on his own, watching some crappy movie, drinking and trying not think about the fact everyone else he knew seemed to be having sex this evening. He was about to go and open another beer when he heard the front door open. He turned round to see Jimmy storming into the cabin, tearing the leather jacket he had borrowed from Chazz from his shoulders.
“Hey man, what’s up? I thought you had a date tonight?” Chazz asked.
“Not anymore I don’t.” Jimmy replied, his face like thunder.
“What happened?”
“She... she...”
Chazz finished Jimmy’s sentence for him. “She dumped you, huh?”
Jimmy said nothing and simply strode into the kitchen, throwing open the cupboard door and grabbing a whiskey tumbler.
“She dumped me. She said I was too immature and she needed a real man.” He reached for the whiskey bottle.
“Um... MacElroy? What are you doing?”
“I’m going to get wasted. That’s what real men do isn’t it? You can help me. Real men get wasted with their buddies and talk about women. So let’s do that.” He grabbed a second whiskey tumbler from the cupboard. “Ice?”
Chazz placed a hand on his arm. “Dude, think about it. Do you really want to...?”
“Yes, I do! I’ve seen movies, I’ve read books. People break up and then they get absolutely hammered. So you can either join me, or I’ll be completely pathetic and do it alone. Don’t try and stop me.”
“Hey man, I wasn’t about to try and stop you. I just think maybe you shouldn’t drink neat whiskey if you’ve never drunk before. Maybe you should start on the beer.”
Jimmy put the glass back the counter. “Fine. Beer me.”
Chazz couldn’t actually remember the last time he’d seen Jimmy this angry; and he certainly never thought he’d ever hear him say “Beer me”. Part of him was a bit scared, and the other part was angry at the rest of him of being a bit turned on. And there was a tiny, traitorous part of the very back of his brain that wanted to let Jimmy get wasted and see what happened. He’d never seen someone get drunk for the first time before. He took a chance.
“Or, I’ve got a bottle of tequila somewhere. You get salt and a cut up a lemon and I’ll go get it.”
This is a very bad idea, the sensible part of his head was saying. But the other part that was bored, lonely and already pretty buzzed was telling him Yeah! Go for it! Get drunk and have fun and damn the consequences! This was the part that was winning the argument right now. Chazz brought the bottle of Tequila from where he had hidden it under Jimmy’s stuffed toys (who would ever look there?) and found Jimmy standing in the kitchen, salt shaker in one hand and lemon in the other.
“Uh... Chazz? What’s this stuff for?”
Chazz smiled. “You’ll see. Just slice up the lemon, grab a couple of shot glasses and come meet me in the living room.” He took the bottle into the living room and made himself at home. Shortly, Jimmy followed with the salt shaker and a neatly sliced lemon.
“So... now what?” He asked.
“You’ll like this Jimmy. It’s fun. You pour out the tequila...” he poured two shots of tequila, one for him, one for Jimmy. “Lick your finger and pour some salt on it.”
Jimmy looked confused. “Why?”
“You’ll see. Now, you lick the salt” Chazz licked the side of his finger. “Drink the Tequila” he threw the liquor down his throat and winced at the burning sensation. “Then suck the lemon.” He picked up a piece of perfectly sliced lemon and sucked on it, wincing some more. “You try.”
Jimmy looked terrified. “No way, that looks disgusting.”
“Come on, Princess, it’s not scary.”
“No... I’ve changed my mind. I was angry; my mind was all busy… I think I’ll just go to bed...” he got up to leave but Chazz grabbed Jimmy’s wrist and pulled him back down onto the sofa.
“No you don’t MacElroy. You’re a man now; it is time to partake of the honoured tradition of drinking until you can no longer remember your own name, let alone Katie’s.”
“You’re insane.”
“No, I’m just a guy. Now stop being a girl and drink the damn Tequila. Here, I’ll help you.”
Chazz took Jimmy’s hand and pressed the salt shaker into it. “Now lick your finger.”
Jimmy looked afraid. He tentatively licked the side of his index finger and poured some salt on it.
“Now... drink the Tequila.”
Jimmy closed his eyes, took a deep breath and knocked back the Tequila. He made a face that looked like he was going to be sick and started to choke.
“Oh... my... gosh...! Ew!”
Chazz laughed. “Quick! Suck the lemon! Go on!”
Jimmy grabbed a slice of lemon as though the future of his taste buds depended on it and bit down hard. He still looked like he was going to be sick.
“Congratulations, amigo! You are now a man. I’m so proud, I might cry.”
Jimmy sneered. “Don’t make fun of me Chazz. I’m never doing that again, that was disgusting.”
“C’mon, Jimmy! It gets easier the more you do it, trust me.” Chazz picked up the Tequila bottle and prepared another shot for himself. The evening was looking up, at last.
*** *** *** ***
Six shots later and Jimmy was looking considerably worse for wear. He had slid off the couch and was now sitting on the floor, his back resting against the couch and his legs laid out in front of him. Chazz had joined him on the floor and was busy slicing up another lemon. They still had half a bottle of Tequila to get through, after all.
“Chazz?”
“Yeah, Princess?”
“Is this normal?”
“Is what normal?”
Jimmy’s head slid onto his shoulder. “I can’t quite keep my head still. And the room’s spinning. Why is the room spinning?”
“Welcome to being drunk: part one - fuzzy vision.” Chazz raised his shot glass in a mock toast. Jimmy giggled.
“I’m drunk! Yay me!” He went to get up, then slid back onto his ass with a thump. “Oh. Whoops! I need to go pee!” Jimmy went to stand up a second time, couldn’t manage it and decided to crawl to the bathroom, laughing the whole way. It was nice to hear him laugh, Chazz thought. He hadn’t heard it in a while. Maybe he should get Jimmy drunk more often. He heard the toilet flush and then heard banging noises coming from the kitchen. He got up to go see what the hell Jimmy was doing to be making so much noise.
“What’s going on?”
Jimmy was rooting around on his hands and knees in one of the low cupboards. “I’m so hungry!” He moaned. “Ooh, I know! Let’s make TOAST!”
“That is the best idea in the history of best ideas. And let’s put JAM on it!”
Jimmy grinned. “Yeah!” He pulled himself into a standing position and put four slices of bread into the toaster. Chazz went to get the strawberry jam out of the refrigerator. Jimmy sat on the counter while he waited for the toast to pop.
“Chazz?”
“Yeah?”
“Did anyone ever dump you?”
“Nope.” Chazz said. “I always do the dumping. You get a hint the girls gonna go bye bye, you haul ass and run.”
“I wish I’d done that.” Jimmy said, staring at his feet. “Then I wouldn’t have had to get so drunk. I’m gonna feel horrible tomorrow aren’t I?”
“Probably.” Chazz replied, honestly. “But I’ll see you through the whole thing, Princess, you’ll see.” The two men stared at each other. The moment was broken, however, by the sound of the toaster popping. Jimmy grinned. “Yay! Toast!”
Chazz took the toast and spread it with butter and jelly. Jimmy grabbed a slice and took an enormous bite. “Toast is awesome.” He said, mouth full.
“Yeah it is!” Chazz agreed. “And welcome to being drunk: part two - drunken munchies.”
Jimmy giggled again. This guy’s so obvious, Chazz thought. I totally had him down as a giggler.
They sat in silence for a bit while they finished eating. Then Jimmy spoke. “I suppose it was never meant to be, anyway.”
“What?”
“Me and Katie.” Jimmy sighed. “I’m just not meant to be with anyone, am I? I mean, I’m twenty nine years old and I’ve never had a girlfriend.”
“Dude, might wanna keep that to yourself.”
“Chazz, don’t. I’m being serious. I’ll just have to get a whole bunch of cats.”
Here we go, thought Chazz, part three - depression.
“My dad was right, wasn’t he? No-one wants to date me. I’m a skater, and that’s all I’ll ever be. I’m a freak.” Jimmy’s eyes started to fill with tears. Chazz was beginning to feel uncomfortable. He couldn’t have Jimmy crying. It was spoiling his buzz.
“MacElroy, look at me. Jimmy. Look at me.” At the sound of his given name, Jimmy looked up at Chazz.
“You are not a freak. You are clever, and funny, and... gorgeous.”
Jimmy’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“Yes. Trust me, I know gorgeous when I see it.” The part of Chazz’s brain that made him go get the Tequila in the first place reared its ugly head. Now, Michaels, do it now. “And you know what else?”
“What?”
Chazz moved his face closer to Jimmy’s. “You’ve got jam on your nose.” He closed his eyes and gently, tenderly, kissed the jam from the tip of Jimmy’s nose.
Jimmy looked shocked. Shocked, but not horrified. So far, so good.
“Did you just kiss me?” he asked, incredulously.
“Um... yeah.” part four - making out with your friends.
Jimmy leaned in and closed his eyes. Chazz took this as proof Jimmy wasn’t repulsed by the idea and kissed him again. On the lips. Softly at first, but when Jimmy moaned and opened his mouth slightly, Chazz went in for the kill and deepened the kiss, his tongue clashing with Jimmy’s. Jimmy’s mouth was soft and warm and Chazz could taste Tequila and strawberry. Jimmy’s hands were in Chazz’s hair, massaging the base of his skull and it felt wonderful. Chazz went to lift Jimmy’s shirt over his head, when Jimmy placed his hands over Chazz’s, stopping him.
“Not in here.”
“Why?” Chazz asked. “Coach won’t be home ‘til tomorrow night.”
“It’s unhygienic. Not in the kitchen, Chazz.”
Great. Thought Chazz. Even when he’s hammered he’s narcotic.
“It’s neurotic, not narcotic.” Jimmy corrected.
“Oh shit, did I say that out loud?”
“Yes you did. Now we go to the bedroom or we don’t do this at all.”
Chazz, still amazed that Jimmy wanted to do this at all, took his hand and led him into the bedroom. The two men sat on the edge of Jimmy’s bed and resumed kissing. Chazz’s pulse quickened and his stomach did back flips. This was wonderful. This time, when Chazz went to remove Jimmy’s shirt, there was no protest. Jimmy even took Chazz’s shirt off for him. Chazz closed his eyes as Jimmy proceeded to kiss and lick the base of his neck, sending shivers up his spine.
“Man, that feels good.”
Jimmy smirked. “I can do some things right, then.”
“Oh yeah.”
Jimmy’s hands explored Chazz’s chest, luxuriating in the soft hair there, then went lower down his belly, slowly tracing along his scar. Chazz wanted to get back to kissing, but Jimmy pushed him back. “Later.” He moved his hands lower, to the top of the waistband of Chazz’s jeans. Chazz placed his hands over Jimmy’s.
“Have you done this before?”
“Not... really... no.”
“Then we have to stop right now before I can’t stop.”
“Why?” Jimmy looked like a kicked puppy. God, this was painful.
“Because... because I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” Oh man, that was it, Chazz thought. Might as well go sign up for the sex change op right now.
“I can do it, you know. I read one of Fairchild’s old Cosmopolitan magazines. It had an article called “The best sex he’ll ever get”. Jimmy wrapped his arm around Chazz’s torso.
“God bless Fairchild Van Waldenburg and all who sail in her.” Chazz said, dryly.
“You really don’t want to? You? Chazz ‘Sex fiend’ Michaels?”
May as well go the whole hog. “There’ll be plenty of time for that later.” So they kissed. All night.
*** *** *** ***
The following morning saw Jimmy with his head down the toilet, ‘offering up prayers to the porcelain Gods’ as Chazz called it. Chazz did what he always did when he had a hangover - took some aspirin and lay down with a wet washcloth over his eyes. After Jimmy had been in the toilet for nearly thirty minutes, however, Chazz took the washcloth off his face and went to go check on him. Jimmy had fallen asleep with his head resting against the side of the toilet bowl. That is ador… no, it’s not. It’s not adorable. He’s a grown man. Pull yourself together, Chazz. Chazz bent down and placed a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder, gently shaking him awake. “Hey. Princess. You ok?” Jimmy groaned.
“Oh, my word.” Jimmy lifted his head up from the toilet bowl and looked up at Chazz, bleary eyed.
“It’s ok man, it’s just a hangover - eat some waffles or something and you’ll be fine.”
Jimmy sighed. “I really wish I hadn’t drunk so much last night… I didn’t do anything stupid did I?”
Memories from the night before flashed in front of Chazz’s eyes - sitting alone, Jimmy coming in, drinking the Tequila, the toast… the kissing. Lots of it. He was a bit ashamed when he realised he actually felt a little sad that Jimmy didn’t remember anything. That was the idea wasn’t it? Get him so drunk he wouldn’t remember kissing you and then you can finally get this… whatever… out of your system. Pull yourself together Michaels, stop being such a girl. So, for the first time since they’d become friends, Chazz lied to Jimmy.
“No. No you didn’t do anything stupid.” He turned to leave the bathroom and get back to his bed and cold washcloth when he heard Jimmy speak.
“So kissing you for about five hours wasn’t stupid then?”
Chazz stopped in his tracks. Oh crap, what am I going to say? Yeah, I have a huge man-crush on you so I got you drunk so I could molest you and then I hoped you wouldn’t remember? No, he couldn’t say that. So he did the next best thing. He tried to start an argument.
“I wasn’t five hours, Pippi Longstocking. It was more like two. And anyway, Homeschool, you were begging for the Chazz-man.”
“You didn’t say no, though did you?”
Chazz gulped. “Shut up, MacElroy.” Chazz walked away from the bathroom, away from complicated conversations he never wanted to have with anyone, let alone with his best friend, and started to make coffee.Just ignore it and it’ll go away. But Jimmy MacElroy was nothing if not persistent. He followed Chazz into the kitchen and sat down at the table.
“Wanna know the real reason Katie broke up with me?” Jimmy asked.
“What?” Chazz asked, exasperated. He’d heard enough about Katie last night; he wasn’t in the mood to listen to any more.
“She realised something.”
“What did she realise?”
“That you have a crush on me.” Jimmy whispered.
Chazz froze. He knows!
“Um... I...” Chazz didn’t have anything to say. He was too tired to lie again.
“But that’s still not why she broke up with me.” Jimmy whispered, that stupid grin still firmly plastered on his face.
“Why did she break up with you then?”
“Because she knows I have a crush on you too.”
Chazz sat bolt upright. “You... wha... huh?!”
Jimmy then full out laughed. Chazz wasn’t sure if he wanted to kill Jimmy, or kiss the smug smile right off his stupid face.
He did the only sensible thing really. He reached out his arms and kissed him.
THE END