Comments | heidenangst: A Requiem

heidenangst

A Requiem

Sep 16, 2009 08:37

"Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary by-pass. After such a monumental assault on the heart, it takes years to amend all the habits and attitudes that led up to it."

Mary Kay Blakely

Then there's my other favorite:

“A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you”

Margaret Atwood

I have 2 friends who... ( Read more... )

Comments 4

dewinged_pixie September 16 2009, 17:30:20 UTC

Divorce is horrible, just be there for both of them. Maybe they learn something, many people dont. I know that my divorce was life shattering, and I certainly learned a lot. My ex he's a nice man we were just very different people. He however I dont think learned anything which is a shame since my daughter is in the middle and I believe that he's about to make the same mistake a second time.

Pi}{ie

heidenangst September 17 2009, 16:10:26 UTC

Oh my god! I haven't seen you in FOREVER ( ... )

newday September 16 2009, 17:48:56 UTC

The first quote isn't bad, but I disagree with Margaret Atwood. It took a while, but I realized that in the end there was more of me; a better me. I understand now that my marriage was toxic, my wife was toxic, and I was being poisoned a little more every day. I wasn't evolved enough to know that trying as hard as I did was the wrong choice, but I walked away with a new stronger resolve. She chose the divorce option and in the end it's the only good thing she did for me.

heidenangst September 17 2009, 16:20:06 UTC

I dunno....toxic or not, a part of you will always be a part of what was. Even with my ex... who I knew in the end just wasn't right for me... I feel like there was a part of me there that was both of us. Something at one point worked... or rather, was there for the both of us to at least be together. The ex, if anything, gave me a sour taste in my mouth towards marriage for quite sometime and I felt for a while that he sapped so much from me.

One of the things I learned, however, is that that experience, even when it was a hot mess, helped shape me and was a part of my life. HE was a part of my life. To not accept that seems to me to deny yourself. We all make mistakes. I regret none of them but only feel that I have come away with more knowledge and am better for it.

After years of feeling ill will towards each other we both made peace with what was, why it happened and our parts in it (although I'll still say it was MOSTLY him!).