Re: Hmmm..... I just wonder why?heidi8December 7 2004, 13:58:59 UTC
Until I read your last line - and your listing of the places you've written to - I was trying to think of ways to help. And I know this is going to sound rude but you've contacted Oprah and the NY Times - I looked over on your LJ - but you haven't contacted local newspapers or tv stations who have Wish Books for local residents in need this time of year? The Times helps people who live in NY - the Post is the same. Have you contacted your state representative about the insanity of the health care system which doesn't provide real and necessary help for those who've paid into it, when they're in need? Have you contacted your congresspeople for your area? Reps and senators tend to help their own constituents more readily than people from other areas. The health care system in this country is in crisis - it's terrible, and through the summer and fall I worked hard to get Kerry elected in hopes of improving it - and it's a tragedy for people like your mum that he lost, because at least he would've tried to change things
( ... )
Re: Hmmm..... I just wonder why? Part 1heidi8December 7 2004, 21:54:03 UTC
You stated "until you read the last line you were thinking of ways to help"..... well had you seen your Mum write letters day after day for over a year in the midst of her constant pain, working when she is in bed recuperating from cancer surgery for the second time in two months, so we could buy groceries, worrying that she could be gone by next Christmas you might be jaded and start feeling a bit snarky too.
That's not what I meant, and I thought that the suggestions I was giving made it clear what I meant. I meant that when I got to the last line, I realised what might help - not as the be-all-and-end-all, but as a component.
Re: Hmmm..... I just wonder why? Part 2heidi8December 8 2004, 21:56:50 UTC
I also wanted to clarify that I never, ever intended to imply that your *mom* should do a bake sale. That's something other people in your local community would do for her, to help her, sort of akin to an ebay thing, but in real life, and with food.
Re: Hmmm..... I just wonder why?
anonymous
December 8 2004, 17:32:34 UTC
Heidi, I'm not e-mailing you because I think you need to be called on this response in public, and I'm posting anonymously because I think it's the best way to avoid more wankage (and in the interest of keeping it down, I won't respond if you opt for a rebuttal).
Whatever you think about this girl and the tone of her comment in your journal, your response to her--despite the disclaimer--was just too cold and outright snide in places. Family trauma tends to make people hysterical, depressed, confused, and disheartened about taking action. Kinder words would have gone a long way, not to mention the fact that it would have helped quell the BNF-clique-paranoia that's going around. Why couldn't you let her jabs slide, express sympathy first, offer to help promote a whip-around for her cause, and then make your excellent and valid points about RL fundraising?
Accepting money from strangers in order to help Cassie, Josh and Ruby presented no problems; why not extend similar sympathy to a stranger in the HP fandom we love so much?
Re: Hmmm..... I just wonder why?heidi8December 8 2004, 20:14:03 UTC
Well, I wasn't trying to be snide - quite the opposite - iwas trying to be helpful and practical, and I gave advice and made some offers of help, which she hasn't replied to. And I visited the website where there is already a fundraiser going.
I understand that she's very overwrought, and that she's in a very difficult familial situation, but it sounded from her ignoring my offer re the tapes that she didn't want my help, but just wanted to vent. If I'm misreading it and she wants me to plug the fundraiser her mom's friends have already organized, I'm happy to do so, but from her posts, it really sounded to me like an offer from some random person would've been seen as an insult.
But, like I said, if I misread her second post (the 2-part one) then I'm happy to post about the collection they've posted on the website, link to the site, etc.
Re: Hmmm..... I just wonder why?heidi8December 8 2004, 22:22:47 UTC
I replied from my handheld, and I didn't realise I was replying to the "I agree" under you - you can read it here. And I'm interested in hearing what you have to say in response to my initial take on her posts. I've reread her first post and the two-part reply again, just now, and I still get the feeling that she herself is unsure if her mom would like to see the link to the site posted by people who don't know her, and who don't know her daughter. But my attempt at subtlety in asking was a little oblique, it seems, so now, I've asked point blank. While I feel totally comfortable doing things for my friends without asking, because I, like everyone else, like to think I know my friends, when it comes to someone who's never spoken to me before, I don't want to leap before asking.
Re: Hmmm..... I just wonder why?
anonymous
December 8 2004, 22:37:18 UTC
I'm not the main anonymous who proposed this (I was the first 'I agree' if it matters).
The girl's mother has a website. This is used to advertise her need for assistance to people she doesn't know, correct? The girl has already said that she has attempted to get help from strangers in the past. Furthermore if you click on the link she provided, you will see that she has already had several strangers since yesterday/today start advertising for her, and helping, so I think the 'damage' of advertising/promoting her site, because she 'doesn't want outside help' is already done.
Why don't you just make a post on the main page? It doesn't even have to have anything to do with this drive, but since there are clearly generous people here, and since you and Cassie clearly have a high readership, it might be a nice gesture for this family.
Re: Hmmm..... I just wonder why?heidi8December 8 2004, 22:56:38 UTC
Furthermore if you click on the link she provided, you will see that she has already had several strangers since yesterday/today start advertising for her, and helping, so I think the 'damage' of advertising/promoting her site, because she 'doesn't want outside help' is already done.
You are probably right, but now that I've asked her with what I hope is clear specificity what it is she's asking/hoping/looking for, I feel that to not wait for her reply would be rude and inconsiderate. Hopefully, she'll reply, and then I can decide what to do, based on what she says.
Re: Hmmm..... I just wonder why?mogliecatDecember 7 2004, 15:07:56 UTC
I don't have any extra money, but I thought I would offer up some pr advice. Heidi is right (I don't know her, I just came to see what all the fuss was about
( ... )
Re: Hmmm..... I just wonder why?heidi8December 7 2004, 15:39:30 UTC
Smart girl! Thanks for posting these tips and thoughts. I am really surprised there isn't a serious-medical-condition-support-website-thingy out there with info like this on it.
(The comment has been removed)
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
help"..... well had you seen your Mum write letters day after day for
over a
year in the midst of her constant pain, working when she is in bed recuperating
from cancer surgery for the second time in two months, so we could buy
groceries, worrying that she could be gone by next Christmas you might be jaded
and start feeling a bit snarky too.
That's not what I meant, and I thought that the suggestions I was giving made it clear what I meant. I meant that when I got to the last line, I realised what might help - not as the be-all-and-end-all, but as a component.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
Reply
Whatever you think about this girl and the tone of her comment in your journal, your response to her--despite the disclaimer--was just too cold and outright snide in places. Family trauma tends to make people hysterical, depressed, confused, and disheartened about taking action. Kinder words would have gone a long way, not to mention the fact that it would have helped quell the BNF-clique-paranoia that's going around. Why couldn't you let her jabs slide, express sympathy first, offer to help promote a whip-around for her cause, and then make your excellent and valid points about RL fundraising?
Accepting money from strangers in order to help Cassie, Josh and Ruby presented no problems; why not extend similar sympathy to a stranger in the HP fandom we love so much?
Reply
Reply
I understand that she's very overwrought, and that she's in a very difficult familial situation, but it sounded from her ignoring my offer re the tapes that she didn't want my help, but just wanted to vent. If I'm misreading it and she wants me to plug the fundraiser her mom's friends have already organized, I'm happy to do so, but from her posts, it really sounded to me like an offer from some random person would've been seen as an insult.
But, like I said, if I misread her second post (the 2-part one) then I'm happy to post about the collection they've posted on the website, link to the site, etc.
Reply
Reply
Reply
The girl's mother has a website. This is used to advertise her need for assistance to people she doesn't know, correct? The girl has already said that she has attempted to get help from strangers in the past. Furthermore if you click on the link she provided, you will see that she has already had several strangers since yesterday/today start advertising for her, and helping, so I think the 'damage' of advertising/promoting her site, because she 'doesn't want outside help' is already done.
Why don't you just make a post on the main page? It doesn't even have to have anything to do with this drive, but since there are clearly generous people here, and since you and Cassie clearly have a high readership, it might be a nice gesture for this family.
Reply
You are probably right, but now that I've asked her with what I hope is clear specificity what it is she's asking/hoping/looking for, I feel that to not wait for her reply would be rude and inconsiderate. Hopefully, she'll reply, and then I can decide what to do, based on what she says.
Reply
Reply
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