Comments | heimdall04: Should I keep going?

heimdall04

Should I keep going?

Mar 13, 2006 21:27

Below is a sort of story I am beginning to write. Please read it and let me know if I should continue. Constructive criticism please! Thank you ( Read more... )

Comments 4

ahazelnuts March 14 2006, 04:24:18 UTC

it sounds evil...im gonna have bad dreams now lol

rachnrollczar March 16 2006, 00:24:50 UTC

Its beautiful David, keep writing!

anonymous March 16 2006, 02:47:39 UTC

It's a sweet story! The only thing I suggest is to elaborate more on some of your sentences. I know that's broad, but I think it would help flow a lot easier and not trip readers. Unless, if you're like jackson and that was what you wanted then good for you. Nice job though.

anonymous March 16 2006, 02:49:00 UTC

oh crap, that was from me (Ryan) lol, forgot I'm not an member...